‘You go on home, lass. Go on, it’ll be all right. Me and the lad have got some talking to do.’
His father was talking to Kitty as though he wasn’t there, Bruce thought numbly. He wasn’t even trying to hide what they had been about. And Kitty, Kitty of all people. She was almost one of the family, she had been Amy’s mam’s best friend.
He must have said Amy’s name because Kitty said quickly, ‘She doesn’t know, no one knows. And we didn’t plan for this to happen, Bruce. I swear it. It took us by surprise, didn’t it, Ron? Tell him.’
Ronald gently turned Kitty to face him. ‘Lass, don’t fret. You go on home and I’ll explain everything that needs to be explained. I’ll come round later so you’d better get ready to tell your mam and da, but we’ll do it together when I arrive. It’s time this was out in the open. I’d have done it weeks ago but for our Thomas.’
His father’s voice was softer than Bruce had ever heard it when directed at his mother, and it was this more than anything else that brought home the fact the affair was serious. Final.
‘Ron, you can’t, not with her just losing the bairn.’
‘No more ifs and buts, lass. We’re doing this my way from now on. I love you and I’m not ashamed of it.’
Bruce could hardly take in that it was his father talking like this. He watched as the pair of them looked at each other, a long look, and then Kitty passed him without saying anything more, Amy’s bouquet hanging limply in her hand. When she had disappeared out of the door, Ronald said, ‘Right, lad. Are you prepared to listen to my side of it or have you already got me hung, drawn and quartered? I’d like to explain if you’ll let me.’
‘I’ll listen.’
‘Come on then, it’s a nice evening, we’ll walk home.’
In the street Ronald didn’t begin talking immediately.They had walked as far as Bridge Street and the Wearmouth Bridge was in front of them before he said, ‘This hasn’t been going on years if that’s what you’re thinking. Just a few months, in fact. Since Christmas. I bumped into Kitty in the Old Market when I was looking for a few stocking fillers nice and cheap for Milly and the twins and—’ He stopped abruptly.
‘And Thomas.’
‘Aye, and Thomas.’ Ronald rubbed his hand across his mouth. ‘Anyway, she was loaded up with bits and pieces and it was a bitter day and she looked perished. I suggested we have a cup of tea somewhere before we went our separate ways. We went to that little café at the end of Coronation Street.’
Bruce made a sound deep in his throat. He didn’t care where they had drunk their tea.
Ronald must have understood because he spoke more quickly. ‘Amy’s mam and Kitty had been best pals since they could walk, I’ve known her all me life, but that day . . . Well, it was like I was seeing her for the first time. It . . . it happened just like that. I can’t explain it.’
He must have expected Bruce to say something because he was silent for a few moments. When they reached the bridge, Ronald stopped and took his son’s arm, forcing him to halt too. ‘I don’t expect you to condone it, lad, because if it was anyone else in my shoes I’d call them all the names under the sun. A married man with bairns, it’s not right. I know that. My only defence is that before Kitty and I got together I’d thought about throwing meself off this bridge more than once. Oh aye,’ he added as Bruce’s eyes shot to his, ‘I’m not joking, lad. Just that same afternoon I’d stared down at the water and thought how easy it’d be to just let it take me down. Let the bairns have their Christmas, I thought, and then . . .’
‘Da!’ Bruce jerked his arm away. ‘Flaming hell, Da.’
‘I’d had enough. Of your mam, your Granda O’Leary, all of it. Anyone looking at me and your mam would think we got on all right, wouldn’t they, eight bairns an’ all. But right from the day we was wed she’s had me touch her on sufferance.’ He swallowed deeply, then went on, ‘She wanted bairns but not the making of them if you understand my meaning.’
‘You shouldn’t be talking to me like this, Da.’
‘No, you’re right there but I want you to understand.You above anyone else. Not to condone but understand.The priest saying a few words over you and a piece of paper don’t make a marriage, lad. Remember that. I’m more married to Kitty right now than I’ve ever been to your mam, and I’m selfish enough to say to hell with the rest of the world from now on. I want to make Kitty happy.Your granda will take in your mam and the bairns, he’s been wanting me out of the hockey for years, let’s face it. And me and Kitty will take your gran with us, Kitty’s all for that.’
‘But . . . but Mam will never allow it. She won’t divorce you, you know how she feels about it. The Church—’
‘Aye, aye, the Church.’ Ronald started walking again and now Bruce had to hurry to keep up with him. ‘I don’t care about the Church, lad, nor the folk who fill the pews of a Sunday all pious and holy and then murder folk with their tongues come Monday. There’s some good ’uns among ’em, I know that, but likely they’ll be the ones who remember the bit about casting the first stone. But we’ll be far away from here anyway.’
‘But won’t Kitty want to be married?’
‘Aye, she does, but she wants me more. Funny that, ain’t it? And in my eyes we will be married. She’ll be Mrs Shawe and she’ll wear a wedding ring and no one will be any the wiser. But I’m going, lad.You finding us like that was a sign, like her getting that bouquet. If I don’t do it soon it’ll go wrong somehow. I feel it in my bones. And I couldn’t stand losing her. That’s it in a nutshell.’
Bruce felt numb. He knew he should plead on his mother’s behalf, talk to his da, try to persuade him to see reason. But the years of watching how it had been for his father had frozen his tongue. They were in Monkwearmouth before he said, ‘When?’
And his father replied, ‘Now, tonight. I’d have done it weeks ago but Kitty didn’t want to upset the apple cart with Amy getting wed.And then our Thomas went and she worried about that. I shan’t take nowt with me but a few clothes an’ such because it’s not mine to take. It’s your granda’s. She’s told me that often enough. Kitty will write to her mam and da when we’re settled somewhere, and Amy too I shouldn’t doubt. I shall say for you to have the address if ever you ask for it. I don’t expect anything, lad, but it’ll be there if you can see it in your heart to ask for it.’
They didn’t speak again the rest of the way home. When they reached Fulwell, Ronald’s steps became quicker, as though he couldn’t wait to get it over with. They passed Eva and Harriet and the twins with some of their friends in the back lane, and when they entered the house by the scullery, it was quiet. Bruce went straight upstairs and as he reached his room he heard his father begin to talk to his mother in the sitting room.
He sat down on his bed, wringing his hands between his legs. His stomach churned. What a day! What a midden of a day, he thought. It was all very well his da saying his mam and his sisters would go to his granda’s, but what if his mam had other ideas and wanted to stay put? His gran too? With his da’s going he’d be man of the house and he couldn’t just leave them all. His dream of moving away would never happen. He ran his hand through his hair. His da and Kitty. He still couldn’t take it in.
He heard something smash as the voices downstairs rose and then he heard his father leaving the sitting room and going in to his granny. A minute or two later there were footsteps on the stairs and then his father pushed open the bedroom door. Ronald was as white as a sheet and he carried a bulging cloth bag in one hand. Drops of blood were oozing from a cut on his temple. ‘I’m off, lad. Take care of yourself, all right?’
‘What happened to your head?’
‘It’s nowt, I didn’t dodge quick enough.’ Neither of them smiled. Ronald mopped at his forehead with a handkerchief. ‘I’m sorry, lad, but like I said, it’s this or the river and I’m not ready to go now, not after I’ve found what I’ve been looking for all me life. Watch out for your gran for me the next few days, there’s a good lad. I’
ve told her I’ll send for her as soon as we’ve got a place; it’ll only be a day or two. I’ll hire a van, something, a lorry maybe, so she can travel in her bed. It’ll work out. I’ve told her it’ll work out all right. Just keep her spirits up till I come for her. All right, lad?’
They stared at each other but for the life of him Bruce couldn’t move. He stood, tense and unthinking, the numbness on him again. He didn’t want his father to go like this, he didn’t want him to go at all. Beyond that he couldn’t think.
‘I’ll be seeing you then.’ Ronald turned as if to make for the stairs but then swung round again and walked into the room. He dropped the bag and took his son into his arms in a way he hadn’t done since Bruce was a little boy. He hugged him hard and Bruce’s arms went round his father, holding him so tight it didn’t seem as if he would ever let him go. When finally they drew away from each other, both their faces were wet.
Then Ronald picked up the bag at his feet and walked out of the room without looking back. Moments later the front door banged and almost immediately Bruce heard his mother running up the stairs. She appeared in the doorway and said immediately, ‘Did you know? About him and that little madam?’
‘Course I didn’t know. Not till tonight.’
‘Kitty Price. Kitty Price of all people. I’ll be a laughing stock when word gets out it’s Kitty Price he’s gone off with.’
Bruce stared at his mother. She wasn’t bothered about his da going, not really, he thought with some amazement. It was more the fact he had gone off with another woman and Kitty in particular that was getting to her.
‘How long has it been going on? Do you know?’ May began to pace the room. ‘It doesn’t take two minutes for folk to get wind of something like this.When I think of how I’ve slaved to keep a decent home, he’s never come back to muck and grime like some I could name. Hot meal on the table and his shirts ironed every day.’
‘Mam, sit down, please. Look, come downstairs and I’ll make you a cup of tea.’ Bruce put his arm round his mother and as he did so, May’s lip quivered.
‘First Perce disgracing us and now your da, and all I’ve ever asked for is respectability. That’s not too much, is it?’
‘Come on, Mam.’ Bruce led her out of the room.
As they reached the kitchen, May said, ‘Your granda’s been proved right as he always is. He said from the start I could do a sight better than Ronald Shawe and that we’d need to keep a tight rein on him or suffer the consequences.’
Bruce stared into his mother’s tight face and for the first time in his life he fully understood just what his father had had to put up with over the years. He suddenly found he wouldn’t have wished his da to stay another minute. And he was glad Amy was out of all this too because one thing was for sure, life wouldn’t be worth living for the next little while.
On the other side of Sunderland, Amy was lying next to her new husband. Charles was fast asleep, one arm flung across her waist. She liked the closeness of his body next to hers, she thought drowsily. In fact she liked everything about being married up to then. Even ‘that’ hadn’t been what she’d expected from the odd comment she had heard from the married women at the restaurant, most of whom seemed to bewail the frequency of their husbands’ attentions. According to what she’d gathered listening to them, the first time was invariably painful and pleasureless, followed by a routine of lovemaking - how often seemed to depend on the individual man but was always too much for the woman concerned - which was only endured by lying back and thinking of other things.
True, Jinny had disagreed with the others, declaring she looked forward to her husband’s lovemaking and had never thought of the price of bread once in the fifteen years they had been married, but she had been the exception. All the others seemed to plan the family’s meals for the week, what shopping they needed to do, anything to forget what was happening to them.
Amy smiled to herself. She rather thought she was another exception too but then that was because Charles had been so patient and gentle with her. He had drawn forth responses and feelings she hadn’t thought herself capable of, and after a time of touching and stroking and kissing her in the most intimate places, the actual act itself hadn’t been unpleasant. One brief moment of pain and then a sensation of aching tightness which had led to something rather nice in the end.
She blushed in the darkness. Yes, she definitely was going to enjoy being a wife and she would make Charles so happy. She was determined on that.
She had been a bit surprised at the two bottles of champagne he had drunk before he had gone to sleep, though; she would have thought the amount he had consumed throughout the afternoon would have been enough for anyone. But then perhaps champagne wasn’t like proper alcohol, like beer and whisky and stuff. It was as fizzy as bairns’ lemonade, after all.
She closed her eyes, the unaccustomed comfort of the expensive feather bed and the satisfying warmth of Charles’s body tipping her over the brink of drowsiness into sleep.
PART FIVE
1933 New Beginnings
Chapter 12
Amy stood staring out of the drawing-room French windows into the garden beyond, but she wasn’t seeing the landscaped grounds stretching out in front of her. Bruce had just left after coming to say goodbye to her. He was moving away, and she knew she was going to miss him. Not that she didn’t understand why he was leaving, she told herself. It had been six weeks now since her wedding and four weeks since Terence O’Leary had moved May and the rest of the family into the four-bedroomed house he and his wife occupied. When her grandma had got all upset at the thought of leaving Sunderland and had confessed she’d been homesick for her old neighbourhood and friends, Sally Price had immediately offered her a home with them, which Muriel had accepted with alacrity. This meant Bruce had no responsibilities to tie him to the north and it was his time to make a break, she knew that, but she would still miss him.
She turned from the window and looked across the beautifully furnished room. Marriage wasn’t turning out to be quite what she had expected, not that she’d told Bruce that, of course. She had presented a front to him that said all was perfect. But it wasn’t perfect. She frowned to herself. She didn’t understand why Charles had to drink so much before he could sleep each night. He said it was like a sleeping pill but more pleasant and tried to make a joke of it, but once or twice he’d had a job to climb the stairs to their room. Not that he had been drunk, she told herself hastily. Drunk was like old Mr Reeves in Monkwearmouth who used to wake up the street with his dancing and singing when he came home from the pub, or the McHaffies who would brawl and fight until the police van took them away. No, of course Charles wasn’t drunk, but . . .
She shook her head, unable to explain her unease. She sat down on one of the sofas and took up the book she had put down on Bruce’s arrival. She wished her grandma had agreed to come and live with them when she had asked her to, immediately she had found out her uncle had gone off with Kitty. But her grandma had been adamant newlyweds needed time on their own. Amy raised her head, staring at the wall opposite. Her uncle and Kitty. It was unbelievable really. She had been flabbergasted when Bruce had come round to tell them. And she couldn’t help feeling let down that Kitty hadn’t confided in her. It was probably unreasonable but she couldn’t help it. Her gran had said that after living with May for years she didn’t blame her son for grasping a bit of happiness, and Amy agreed with this in part, but she had the notion that if the woman concerned had been anyone other than Kitty her gran wouldn’t have felt quite the same. Thought the world of Kitty, her gran did, and so did she. Kitty was still Kitty whatever she had done.
Amy glanced at the clock.Another three hours before Charles would be home. She so wanted to see him tonight. Bruce coming to tell her he was going away had been upsetting in itself, but it had also stirred up the sense of loss she had felt when she had first realised Kitty wouldn’t be there any more. She missed her, even more than she had thought she would.
/> The afternoon dragged and when six o’clock came and went and Charles still wasn’t home, Amy began to worry. At half past seven she was just beginning to wonder if she should tell Mrs Franklin, the housekeeper, to put dinner on hold when she heard his voice in the hall.
When he opened the drawing-room door she bounded into his arms, saying, ‘Where have you been? I was worried. Are you all right? Has anything happened?’
‘I’m fine, sweetheart.’ The slurred tone to his voice and the strong smell of whisky both hit her in the same moment.
She drew back, looking up into his face. ‘You have been drinking.’
‘Business meeting. Went on a while. Bit of a problem at the restaurant.’ He detached himself from her and walked across to the cocktail cabinet where he poured himself a large measure of brandy.
Amy remained standing exactly where she was. ‘Don’t you think you’ve had enough already?’
He turned, his eyes narrowing. ‘No.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘And tell Mrs Franklin to hurry up with dinner. I’m damn hungry.’
The Rainbow Years Page 19