by Jeff Povey
Including the formula.
I pull it out, unroll and flatten it, then show New-Billie who can barely believe her eyes.
‘OMG.’ She breathes. ‘OhmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod.’
My hand is trembling as I hold the formula and she reaches out and places her hand on mine. But both hands are shaking.
‘Rev,’ she whispers, unable to find her true voice.
‘I know,’ I nod. ‘I know.’
‘Don’t we need someone to understand what to do?’ she says quietly.
‘The Moth was our best bet,’ I tell her. ‘But my dad also said something – I mean my Non-Dad, the man who brought me here. He said something I think we can use.’
We share a hopeful smile as the light behind New-Billie’s eyes returns.
BATTLE ROYALE WITH CHEESE
We meet Other-Johnson, Another-Billie, Non-Lucas and my limping, barely-conscious dad at the school gates at the top of the hill.
‘Dad!’ I run to him and slip a shoulder under his arm. He looks weak, but he nods and mumbles to me. ‘The classroom, get me to the classroom.’
The Apes are coming our way, thundering through the raging elements. The Ape’s five-pointer drips with black blood and he looks like he’s in pain. Non-Ape has grown smaller and his leathery skin is repairing itself again after he has taken all manner of hits from the doppelgangers. I’m sure he’s dragging his left leg a little. They keep coming though because Apes always, always keep coming.
‘Go!’ Non-Ape bellows.
The Ape waves his arms. ‘Run!’
Other-Johnson’s breath catches in his throat. ‘Where’s my Rev?’ he gasps. ‘I can’t scan for her.’
I open my mind to him, show him the flashing blur of her blue hand as she went to buy us time, the bravest of the brave.
Other-Johnson’s thoughts fall deathly silent in my head. The snow thickens, the river rises, the wind howls and the lightning gathers but he doesn’t notice any of it as he instantly regrets all of the mistakes he ever made.
‘She loved you,’ I whisper pathetically. I don’t know what else to say.
Other-Johnson is crushed. ‘Get out of here,’ he yells into my brain.
‘She did,’ I repeat, ‘she really did—’
‘Go!’ he screams through his heartache.
Then I see them. Coming up the hill behind the Apes. A swarm of doppelgangers. Which means more than we ever realised got through. The world shudders and cracks underneath us and a tremor hits so hard it tears a chasm under the deepening snow. Half of the furious, bewildered doppelgangers fall into the chasm as it spreads towards us. We move as fast as we can through the storm, but already some of the fallen doppelgangers are using their powers to fly or levitate out of the widening fissure.
A fissure that is snaking its way to the school. If it swallows that then it’s game over. My dad is convinced we need to be in the classroom.
Non-Lucas unsheathes his talons and goes into a blur but the split second before he does he glances my way. I know he doesn’t expect to survive.
‘Make it to the classroom,’ he tells me.
‘You can’t fight them all.’
‘We were born this way.’ He then turns into a stationary blur, moving faster than ever, maybe as fast as he possibly can.
Other-Johnson enters my head. ‘This is the last goodbye.’
‘We’ll wait for you, all of you,’ I tell him.
‘If we buy you this chance, then take it.’
‘Wait—’
‘Go, Rev. Go home.’
And with that he turns to face the swarm coming up the hill.
Non-Ape braces himself, cricks his great neck and punches his fist over and over into his great meaty palm. He’s watching them approach. He has no doubt he will beat them. Crush them. Grind them to a pulp.
I however have no doubt that he will fail. There’s just too many. But more than that you can’t fight a world that doesn’t want you. Already the river is rising, climbing the hill that leads to the school. Taking the thick snow and turning it into a dreadful river of sludge.
Evil-GG brushes past me. ‘Excuse me please.’ He joins Non-Ape and Non-Lucas. ‘You and me, big boy, was written in the stars.’
‘Homo,’ Non-Ape grumbles. A lightning bolt strikes him hard and . . . has no effect whatsoever.
‘You light up my world!’ Evil-GG cackles.
The snarling panther version of Moth Two has lost all sense of its brilliant-minded humanity, but it doesn’t stop the Moth stroking his back in silence.
Non-Ape gives the Ape a gentle tap on his arm. ‘Save Boob Girl.’
The Ape is ready to stand and fight. ‘You save Boob Girl.’
‘I said it first.’
‘I said it second.’
‘I said it third.’
Collectively our doppelgangers are gathering as one, ready to fight to the death, and I wonder if Other-Johnson is putting the thought into their heads. He must be. He’s at the edge of despair having lost Rev Two. So he’s going to make sure the same doesn’t happen to me by using all the resources he can. Maybe he’s been doing that since we got into town?
Non-Ape won’t budge on this. ‘You gotta save Boob Girl.’
The Ape visibly stiffens at this. He must sense that it is the end of their perfect friendship. Non-Ape’s big giant cow eyes can’t hide his sadness though.
‘No one fights like you,’ he tells the Ape.
‘Yowza,’ the Ape responds. They bump fists for the last time and I know for certain that Other-Johnson has used his mental powers to split them up. He could barely find a thought in their heads before so he’s operating on full wattage.
The Ape turns away from his best ever friend and swings the Moth on to his back.
Evil-GG glances at the onrushing crowd as they pick their way past the widening fissure. ‘That’s it, come to the GG.’
Carrie’s hand lands on my wrist. ‘Rev, sometimes you’ve got to run. Don’t let what they’re doing go to waste.’ Carrie knows me better than I realised. I want to stay and fight beside them.
Another-Billie gives Other-Johnson a quiet glance as she prepares for the mass attack. ‘Rev?’ she asks him and he solemnly shakes his head.
Another-Billie barely holds her grief inside.
Non-Lucas lets out a howl before speeding towards the advancing doppelgangers. He moves so fast I doubt one single snowflake lands on him
Johnson joins us as we move as quickly as we can to the school, racing through the thick snow, trying to get there before the crack in the earth opens its jaws and swallows everything. I keep glancing back as Non-Lucas tears through the doppelgangers so fast that all I know of this is the falling bodies, standing one second, cut down the next. But there are still so many of them.
Non-Ape bellows. Evil-GG cackles and the living blur that is Non-Lucas rejoins them, shimmering so fast that he is igniting dust particles in the air. They spark and glow and burst into small flames all around him. Other-Johnson and Moth Two protect Another-Billie and I can only guess that they expect her to heal them if they fall. It’s vital the swarm of doppelgangers doesn’t reach her.
Non-Ape takes one last look my way.
‘Yowza!’ he shouts to me, his voice rising above the hurricane and cracks of lightning.
One word.
But one of the best words ever.
‘Yowza!’ I respond, but I doubt he can hear me because the swarm arrives and tries to overrun them.
I run as fast as I can, pushing my dad along with me. He’s getting better all the time but he’s still some way from his best. Carrie’s spindly legs sprint alongside mine as we move as quickly as we can to the school. But it’s so cold and we’re soaked through and weighed down by sodden clothes. Up ahead the chasm grows like a hungry mouth as it ripples towards the school.
But on we plough because this is our last best chance and we all know it. The Ape grips on to the Moth, cradling him like a baby as his mighty strides outpac
e the fissure. The wind batters at him, the snow tries to bury him under giant flakes and the sky fires electricity at him, but nothing, not in this life or the next, is going to stop that boy. His mountainous determination fires my veins and I redouble my efforts. Carrie and Johnson are similarly inspired and we crash onwards, led by the invincible Ape.
Billie is right beside me and she can only marvel at the Ape.
‘I get it now,’ she pants. ‘I finally get why you like him so much.’
The Ape is the first to reach the school door and he yanks it open. We’ve got four flights of stairs to navigate. The windows of the stairwell look out on to the hill and as we reach the first landing I see – or imagine that I see – the Lucas-blur speeding through the rampaging doppelgangers. He cuts them down before they even know he’s there. Non-Ape rips bodies apart as they try to swarm him. They have powers, they can jump and fly and grow tall and strong but Non-Ape has a mountain range’s worth of power and he repels them all, punching and crushing and ripping them to pieces. Evil-GG lets every shred of his inner bitch out and turns into a remorseless killer, never once stopping to think or show pity. He shoots talon after talon like a machine gun from his fingers, while spinning and twisting through the masses. Moth Two is fast and vicious and with Other-Johnson at his side, he is spectacular, never letting anyone within a hair of Another-Billie.
But, by the time we reach the second floor landing Evil-GG is dead. I see him go down as a lightning bolt strikes him and, while he’s stunned, a gang of doppelgangers overpower him. Another-Billie can’t reach him to heal him, despite Other-Johnson and Moth Two trying to cut a path towards him. The Lucas-blur and Non-Ape are holding their own and for a fleeting moment I think that together they can still win.
The third floor looms and a body flies through the reinforced window. It’s a doppelganger without a head. Carrie shrieks. Echo after echo after echo is following us to the bitter end.
‘For the love of God!’ Billie yells as she cowers from the shattering glass. I drag my dad onwards; there is no time to stop. The Ape is panting hard and only now do I see that he is cut badly, bleeding real blood from the first encounter with the doppelgangers. But on he ploughs, carrying the Moth, who desperately clings to his neck. Lucas is an emotional mess, crying the whole time. I don’t blame him.
The fissure, the widening chasm is at the school door and the empty world is reaching round it. Ready to embrace and then crush it.
‘It’s all right, tears are good, tears are healthy. It’s just water. Salty. Like the sea,’ GG says, trying to spur the nerve-shattered Lucas onwards.
Through the next window I see the Lucas-blur come to a bone-crunching stop. Something has grabbed him, something invisible or maybe it’s a telekinetic thing, but the minute he stops blurring is the moment the doppelgangers strike. They descend on him with talons gleaming. Black blood fountains like a geyser and I look away. But the doppelgangers are thinning as the empty world assassinates half as many as Non-Ape does. The river is almost at the top of the hill but again this IQ-challenged world reveals it’s less than clever master plan because the rivers of sludge start to pour straight down into the open chasm it has created.
Up we go. One more flight of stairs. One more desperate race for the classroom. My dad had better be ready to do his thing.
The fourth-floor landing welcomes us and as Carrie charges for the classroom I dare to stop and stare out of the window. Non-Ape refuses to buckle even against the worst odds he’s ever faced. He fights on, a snow-covered mountain of a boy, struck over and over by lightning and hurricane winds, and as I watch him I see my own Ape reflected in him. It’s not difficult, they’re the same person, but it’s the first time I’ve not been able to distinguish between them. And then I realise that Non-Ape’s grown a lot smaller. Can you grow smaller? Does that make actual sense? Whatever, it’s terrifying, because it means he’s running out of power.
‘Rev!’ Carrie is screaming at me, having only just realised I’m not running alongside her. I look back along the hallway and she’s standing at the open door to the classroom.
Billie helps the labouring Ape alongside her. ‘Come on, hero!’ she urges him.
I try to wrench myself away from the window when I see movement out of the corner of my eye. Other-Johnson goes down. My heart snaps and I cry out. Johnson has seen it as well and it makes him jolt. He staggers for a moment, looks gutted.
‘Rev!’ he calls.
‘I know, I know,’ I say, fighting back tears.
Next to where Other-Johnson stood, Moth Two is now surrounded. Another-Billie is nowhere to be seen; have the mob got to her already? Moth Two stands back to back with Non-Ape who has climbed to his feet again. They know they are there for each other and even from here I can see that they like that they are. Back to back they’re ready for what’s left of the swarm. Not nearly so many now. But the world is going crazy outside; it really isn’t enjoying having guests.
‘Rev! Come on, we’re going home,’ Billie says.
But I can’t take my eyes off the last battle.
‘Rev,’ Johnson urges and drags me away.
I shove my weakened dad into the classroom. ‘Do it!’ I yell at him.
But already I can hear footsteps careering up the stairwell corridor. Some doppelgangers are in the school and they’re coming for us, fast. The Ape looks my way and raises his five-pointer. ‘Be right back.’
‘No!’ I scream. But he disappears before I can say another word. ‘You’re still carrying the Moth!’ I yell. How could he possibly have forgotten that the Moth was clinging on to him?
‘I need time,’ my dad breathes to the others. ‘Just another minute! Keep me safe. I can fix this. I can fix it all!’
The school cracks. That’s the only way I can describe it. The school is encircled as the chasm reaches all the way round it like a giant claw – and then squeezes.
GG doesn’t hesitate, picks up the nearest chair for a weapon and charges into the corridor. Lucas watches and when he sees Carrie step up and grab a big thick heavy book he goes out after her. Billie looks at me.
‘You’ve got exactly a minute,’ she says.
‘We’ve got so much longer,’ I tell her. ‘When we get back we’ll have all the time in the world.’
‘Let’s do something nice tomorrow.’ She manages a smile. ‘Something that doesn’t get us into detention.’
Johnson strikes a match and lights a cigarette. He slips a hand into one of his tight jeans pockets. ‘You know . . . ’ he starts. But then stops and instead tosses his cigarette away and crosses the few metres towards me. He takes me in his arms and kisses me. It’s a kiss that steals my soul and I kiss back with all I’ve got. I love you, I think to myself, I love you and I love you on top of that. The kiss has to end, but a billion years have passed and they’ve been the best years of my life. Other-Johnson came close, but after this kiss I know why I was always holding back from him. The real thing, the very real thing, is the only thing.
‘Don’t leave town without me.’ And then he’s gone to help the Ape and the others keep the doppelgangers at bay.
I glance up and my dad is writing a formula on the whiteboard. A whiteboard that slips and falls from the wall as the school experiences a terrifying shudder. The hurricane winds blow the windows to smithereens.
‘Molecules!’ my dad yells across the flying debris. ‘You add molecules to one world then they have to push other molecules out of that world. That’s the key to all of it.’
A blizzard crashes into the classroom.
My dad finishes the last digit on the large formula.
‘It’s time, Rev.’
My eyes widen in horror. ‘Wait, what about the others—’
The white light claims me before I can move. Half of my thoughts are still in the empty world and half have come with me. I know I will never feel complete again.
THERE’S AN APE STARING AT ME
There’s always an Ape staring at someone.
There’s always a detention.
And there’s always a way out.
New-GG is performing his best John Travolta impression. Over and over. Sticking a leg and arm out. Over and over. He’s that excited.
‘White light, where are you?’ he sings.
New-Johnson is buzzing more than at any time I have seen any version of a Johnson buzz. He has lost his cool – almost – and is on his sixth straight cigarette.
New-Billie is sharing puffs of his cigarettes and coughing every time she inhales too deeply.
New-Carrie in a quiet fug of anticipation. She has thought to bring a suitcase with her, packed and straining with clothes, make-up and every slim volume of poetry she has ever committed to the page. New-Lucas has polished his shoes and they shine under the classroom lights. He’s writing my Non-Dad’s formula on to the large whiteboard at the front of the classroom, one number at a time.
I am watching each digit as it appears, checking it against the formula, making sure it’s completely correct, right down to the smallest squiggle.
‘So what happens when I finish writing?’ New-Lucas asks.
‘I have no idea,’ I tell him.
‘That’s positive,’ he responds.
‘What if we blow up?’ New-GG stops posing like Travolta.
‘I guess we blow up,’ New-Johnson replies, then turns to me, puts a finger to his temple and gives me a casual salute. It’s only a small thing, but it brings everything galloping back to me. The real Johnson executed the exact same salute and I suddenly lose all feeling in my legs and crash to the floor.
‘Rev?’ New-Billie is with me in seconds, slender arm wrapping round my waist as she bends level with me. ‘What is it?’
‘Nothing,’ I bite back my tears as I crawl like a crab to the nearest school desk and take a seat. ‘Just went a bit dizzy.’
‘Hey,’ New-Johnson is with me now, squatting till his face is level with mine. New-Lucas has stopped writing. New-GG and New-Carrie have fallen silent.