An Insane Love

by Bianca

  “Pull them panties to the side, bae,” he groaned.

  While I did that, Frank pulled his dick out of his briefs, and I raised up and slid slowly down on his dick, with him stretching me out the whole way down to the base of his dick. He placed his hands on my waist to guide me up and down on it. Sometimes I had a hard time riding him, but with his guidance, I could do it. He started thrusting his hips up, making me feel his piercing, and every time he did it, I felt like I was creaming just a little bit more.

  At first, I told Frank that I wanted him to get a piercing so he could say no and leave me the fuck alone, but he didn’t. Frank got the piercing, and when he learned how to work the shit, it felt amazing.

  “Frank!” I groaned out when he started beating my pussy up.

  “Ssshhh,” he groaned as he continued to pump inside of me.

  I tried to keep my lips together as he pummeled my pussy from the bottom, but I couldn’t help it.

  “Bounce on it, bae,” he whispered.

  I tried to bounce on it, but I couldn’t keep up with his strokes. This nigga was showing my girl no fucking mercy. He was fucking me like he was mad at me. I leaned over, wrapped my arms around his neck, and tried to bounce, but he was still going so damn fast. I could tell that he was getting ready to nut because his low moans turned into grunts. I leaned over and turned the light on because I wanted to see his damn face when he came inside of me. The minute I turned the light on, Frank opened his eyes, and his dick went soft.

  “Frankkkk,” I whined. “I was almost there.”

  “What you turn the fucking light on for, Alex? Fuck!”

  “You hate me, don’t you?” I asked him and crawled off him.

  He sighed and crossed his arms behind his head.

  “Alex, you and Mayhem are all I have in this world, and you keep crossing me, and it’s frustrating me because I do every fucking thing that you ask me to do. Everything. Like, I give you everything that you ask for, so I really can’t understand—”

  “Okay, so what! You give me everything I ask for monetarily, but I don’t have your heart, Frank! You love me, but you not in love with me. You don’t even trust me!” I argued.

  “I can’t trust you because you keep putting your pussy on other niggas. That’s why I can’t trust you.”

  “Because you’re not attentive!” I yelled. “Not every bitch gives a damn about a fucking buck, Frank.”

  “How am I not attentive, Alex?” he asked me and sat up in the bed.

  “If I tell you I want a fucking back massage, you’ll schedule me a fucking massage with a masseuse,” I said.

  His eyes darted from side to side as if he was confused by what I was saying.

  “I want you to give me a back massage, not pay a person to give me one.”

  “Okay! Well make that the fuck clear, bruh! I don’t read minds. If you say you want something and it can be paid to get done, then that’s what I’m going to do. If you wanted me to give you a back massage, then you should have said, ‘Frank can I have a massage,’ and not say I need a massage.”

  “That is the same thing!”

  “No, no it’s not. I don’t read between the lines, Alex. After all this time, if you don’t know that, then I don’t know what the fuck to tell you, bruh, to be honest.”

  “And another thing. Stop talking to me like I’m Mayhem or something. I’m not your homeboy. I’m your woman!”

  “Okay, I guess.” Frank shrugged, laid back down, and pulled the covers over him.

  “See.” I sighed. “That’s exactly what the fuck I’m talking about,” I hissed.

  I fell against the bed hard and pulled the covers over me with an attitude.

  “Goodnight,” he said and clicked off the light.

  That shit pissed me off so bad that I couldn’t even go back to sleep. I couldn’t believe that I even let him get me this mad. It had to be because I didn’t get to bust that nut that I was on the verge of.

  The next morning…

  Stretching, I felt that Frank’s side of the bed was cool. I looked at the time on my watch and saw that it was past nine in the morning. Frank’s ass be getting up at seven in the morning, and I just couldn’t figure out how the hell he did it, especially after getting in the bed so late like he did. I grabbed my phone and went into the bathroom to take care of my morning hygiene. Soon as I set my phone down on the sink, it started blowing up like crazy. Bash was texting me back to back to back.

  B: We need to fucking meet today.

  B: I know you are fucking up, Alex!

  B: What the fuck are you doing?

  B: Alexandria! We need to meet.

  Me: What the hell is going on, Bash? You been ignoring me for the last couple of days, but all of a sudden, we need to meet up. I’ll see if I can get away. If I can, I’ll text you and let you know.

  B: NO! YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT A WAY TO GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM THAT NIGGA TODAY, ALEXANDRIA! I’M NOT FUCKING PLAYING WITH YOU, BRUH!

  Me: Bash, you need to calm down because if I can’t get away, then I just can’t get away. Text me and tell me what the fuck the problem is.

  B: You are fucking that nigga, you lying ass bitch! Find a way to get away today, or it’s going to be over.

  I dropped the phone, and I started shaking. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out who would have told him that. Wait a minute. Even if he found out that we were fucking, it was what the fuck he wanted me to do. The nerve of that nigga to give me an ultimatum like that. He had me fucked up. I locked the bathroom door and turned the shower on so if Frank came to the door, he wouldn’t hear me talking. I called his ass, and he answered on the first ring, screaming.

  “Alex, I can’t believe you fucking that nigga! You told me that you told him you wanted to wait until marriage. Oh my God! I can’t fucking believe you, man!” he shouted into the phone.

  “Who told you that? I thought that’s what you wanted me to do, Bash. Make up your fucking mind,” I whisper yelled into the phone.

  “What?”

  “What happened to fuck that nigga and get his money. Ain’t that what Cardi B told y’all? That’s what the fuck you said to me, Bash! You ain’t have no problem, but now that we are fucking, it’s a problem! Fuck you, Bash! If I see you today, then I see you. If I don’t, then I fucking don’t!” I hung up the phone on him.

  I turned the water off with an attitude and slammed my phone on the sink because Bash made me just that angry. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and then grabbed my robe to go downstairs. Once I made it to the top of the stairs, the smell of bacon almost carried me down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen to see Frank in an apron with breakfast food all over the table, and I smiled.

  “This morning, I got up and thought that I would do something nice for you. I heard what you said. Now, this shit may not taste good, but I hope it do. I been on YouTube all morning,” Frank said and laughed.

  “You needed YouTube to tell you how to cook some eggs and bacon?” I asked him and walked over to him.

  “I mean… yeah. Usually, you cook breakfast, or I eat breakfast at Olena’s or Mama Bailey’s. I ain’t never really had to cook a meal before, so… yeah. I hope you like it. Come sit down,” he said and beckoned me over to him.

  He pulled the chair out for me, and I sat down. I placed the eggs and bacon on my plate. He had even attempted to make some pancakes, but they were burnt. I tapped the pancakes with my fork, and they were hard as hell. I was laughing.

  “Uh, don’t touch the pancakes, aight. I think I missed a couple of steps or something with them. I’ll have to try again sometime soon.”

  I started eating, and the eggs were a little salty and didn’t have much pepper on them, but they were eatable. The bacon was really good. While I chomped on more bacon, he poured me some orange juice and added a little alcohol to it, talking about it was a mimosa. I was really happy that he tried to do something nice for me. While I ate, he started rubbing my shoulders.

  “Franklin,
I’m a girl,” I reminded him because he was squeezing my shoulders like he was trying to squeeze pickled relish out a small hole.

  “My bad,” he said and laughed.

  He massaged my shoulders until I finished eating.

  “You got anything planned for today? I was thinking that maybe we could go on a date or something like that.”

  In my mind, I had to remember that this shit wasn’t real. I was going to go see Bash to calm his ass down. Frank and I could go on a date another time.

  “Yeah, kind of. You know I have to referee a game this evening.”

  That was true, but before I went over there, I was going to stop by Kharisma’s to see Bash.

  “Ah, okay. I understand,” he said and walked out the kitchen.

  Bash was pacing in front of me and smoking a square. He was acting really crazy. He still hadn’t told me what the hell was wrong, and it was scaring me.

  “I saw it, Alex!” he stressed.

  “Saw what?” I asked him.

  “Up close and personal, I saw it, Alex! I saw it up close and personal,” he said and kept pacing.

  “Saw… what, Bash? You are scaring me.”

  “We have to get away from here. That nigga is diabolical, Alex. Frank is a menace to fucking society and needs to be put down like the animal that he is.”

  “What… happened, Sebastian?”

  “He… stomped a nigga out. Out! Dead,” he said and raised his shirt up. “He even punched me in my rib because I ain’t answer when he spoke to me.”

  “Ohhh, I’m sorry, baby,” I apologized and stood to kiss his rib. After plopping back on the bed, I said, “Bash, you’ve told me that before. What’s so different about it now?”

  “The difference is, I got promoted and was now on the front line watching it. Before, I was in the back of the line, watching it. He had no remorse. He snapped that dude’s neck and then shot another dude. These niggas are different from those down south niggas. We ain’t ruthless like that,” he stressed.

  “Well, it’s what you wanted, Bash. Now you got it. Real street nigga shit. Deal with it until you get those funds up so we can blow this joint.” I stood and hugged him.

  He wrapped his arms around me, and I felt safe. I loved Bash so much, and I would do anything for him. I was just thankful that he was too distraught to bring up me fucking Frank again.

  Bash

  At this moment, I was too fucking distraught to worry about anything other than Alex’s safety being with Frank. After last night, I knew that if me and Alex got caught up in this shit, we were going to get killed, and this nigga was going to go home and sleep good. You should have seen how he was posted up, eating Skittles while sitting in a chair over a dead body. Honestly, too much blood made me sick to my stomach. But this nigga Frank? He a different breed, for real.

  He was stepping all in the blood. Blood was all over the pants that he had on, and he didn’t even look bothered by it. He watched two men damn near beat themselves to death, and then he killed them both, with no remorse. I worried about Alex’s safety before, but that shit had elevated times ten. You knew how hard it was to stand up there in that line with cracked ribs, while looking at him sit in a puddle of a man’s blood? He didn’t give a damn about nobody’s life, not even his damn own, if you asked me.

  “Bash… baby, let me go. It’s going to be okay,” she assured me.

  “You sure?” I asked her.

  “I think I’m breaking him down. He actually tried to cook for me this morning,” she said and laughed.

  After that laugh, I was brought back down to reality and pushed her away from me.

  “Because you fucked him. That’s why,” I hissed.

  I mean, I knew I was telling her to fuck him, but I wasn’t expecting her to do it right away. It was like she had been wanting to fuck him but was holding out for me.

  “Sebastian, we are not going to do this right now,” she spoke lowly. “You wanted me to fuck him, and that’s what I did.”

  “You been wanting to fuck him, huh?”

  “You ain’t been fucking nobody?” she asked me, and put her hands on her hips.

  “Nah…” I lied so quick.

  “I been with your dumb ass for a long ass time, Bash. I know when you’re lying. You got me fucked up, aight.”

  Switching the subject, I said, “Look, we might have to get out of here a little sooner than a year. I’m worried about you, and us arguing like this is only going to make us drift apart. We need to keep a cool head.”

  “Why the need to leave sooner?” she asked me. “Is everything okay? I thought that you got a promotion,” she asked me.

  “Well, yeah, but…” I trailed off.

  How could I admit to her that I was scared as fuck, and Frank was a different type of nigga. I was supposed to be the one to protect her, and honestly, I knew for a fact I wouldn’t be able to protect her from Frank.

  “But nothing. We are going to stay here for another year and make us a couple kids and live happily ever after.

  Raylee...

  How the fuck could I have forgotten about my daughter? Even though she almost got me caught up because she answered my phone. I loved my daughter more than anything in this world. Maybe I could just take Raylee, bring her with us, and hopefully, one day, Alex would come around. Fuck! I didn’t think this whole fucking plan through. Well, the plan was thorough until my dumb ass fucked around and got Rubee pregnant.

  “I have to get going, Bash. I love you,” she said, kissed my cheek, and walked out of the room.

  I waited for about twenty minutes before I walked out into the living room, and Kharisma was laid up on the couch, while her son tore down the house. I eased on the couch and stared at her. She cut her eyes to me, laughed, and then looked back at the TV.

  “What, Bash?”

  “I kind of need somebody to talk to,” I admitted.

  “And that person is me?”

  “You the only person that knows the situation.” I sighed.

  Kharisma sat up and turned the TV off and focused on me.

  “Look, Frank is… I’m scared for Alex. You know I got Raylee, and I’m honestly thinking about bouncing in a couple of months and just… getting the fuck on down with Raylee and Alex. You know she fucking Frank now.”

  “Oh,” she said and darted her eyes from side to side.

  “Oh.” I mocked her. “What does that mean? Tell me something. If you were me, what would you do? Don’t be funny either, because you the last person that I wanted to talk to about any of this, but you the only person that knows. I wouldn’t dare talk about this shit with them other niggas. They’d tell Frank in a heartbeat, even though they may lose their life and shit.”

  Shrugging, she said, “Bash, you are screwed, to be honest. Even my heartless ass feels a little bad for you. I could have agreed with your plan if you didn’t have Raylee. She didn’t ask to be in this. You fucked up when you ain’t use a condom with that girl. I don’t know what to tell you, but if you take Raylee, you’re not going to get across the border before you get yourself killed. On one hand, I’d tell you to just bounce, but Raylee don’t deserve that. On the other hand, I’d give you some bad advice by saying, all y’all can run away together. Y’all in too deep.”

  “And it’s all—”

  “All my fault. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even when Mayhem stopped fucking with me, you had already gotten Rubee pregnant. So, had you been able to keep your dick covered…” She shrugged.

  Not responding to her statement, I got up and left her house. I drove quietly back to the house I shared with Rubee. When I pulled up in the yard, Rubee and Raylee were outside playing with bubbles. I smiled a little because I loved this life…family life, but I also would love to be with Alex. Hell, she deserved this life too, and a wave of sadness came over me because I knew in my heart that, more than likely, I’d never be able to give it to her. There was only one way out of this situation: death. You lived by the streets, you died by the streets.
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  Rubee

  Ever since Bash came in last night, he had been acting strange. I asked him what was wrong with him, and he wouldn’t tell me. I wasn’t going to keep asking him. This morning, he got up earlier than he normally did, stayed in the bathroom for damn near an hour, and after he came out, he left. I didn’t call or question him because I was sick of him and his shit, to be honest.

  “Mommy, why is Daddy sitting in the car?” Raylee asked me, and I didn’t know.

  “I don’t know, Raylee,” I told her.

  I couldn’t even see what he was doing because the tint on his car was so dark. I looked up at the sky, and a dark cloud was starting to slowly move over, so I picked Raylee up and went in the house. I needed to get ready to go grocery shopping because I didn’t have anything in the house since I had been waiting on Bash to come with me, but he was always busy. I hated going grocery shopping by myself, well, without Bash, because I hated when dudes tried to talk to me. These niggas in Chicago were way different than Houston niggas. No matter how many times you told their asses no, they would follow you around the store until you gave them a fake number. Some of them had gotten smarter and would call your phone while they were standing in front of you. It was sad when telling a nigga ‘no’ was not enough.

  I sat at the kitchen bar to look over my shopping list while Raylee sat next to me with her coloring book. Since coloring kept her quiet, I got her a lot of educational coloring books. When I was halfway through my shopping list, my phone lit up, and I saw that KLewDollas had posted a picture on Instagram. Like a drug addict, I grabbed my phone and clicked on the notifications. Kade had posted a picture of himself in the gym. He was standing in the mirror with some gray compression shorts on and no fucking shirt. His body was cut up, and those compression shorts didn’t conceal that bulge. Who worked out today? was the caption on the picture, and I bit my lip at the thought of kissing up and down that six pack. I looked at the picture again before closing out the app and setting my phone back down.