"That's just it, Romero. My heart is confused too."
25
Natalie continued to stare at the numbers like she'd done two weeks ago. The paper was wrinkled and worn from her folding and unfolding it. From her crumbling it up and throwing it in the trash and then digging it out. She didn't know what to do. Each day seemed as if she woke up thinking about Paula and what she should do and it was a war between her mind and heart. She ddn't know if she could do it. She didn't know if she could let this woman back in without reassurance.
Finally, Natalie was tired of the back and forth. She decided to call Paula. Natalie sat up in her chair, ready to confront her past. Later she and Romero were going to Rosario's for dinner and she didn't want to be worried about anything. Dialing the number, she listened to the ring before it picked up. Her mother's questioning hello filled her ear and Natalie was silent.
"Hello? Is anybody there?"
"Y-yes." she croaked. Clearing her throat Natalie continued. "I'ts me. Natalie."
"You called me.." her mother sounded surprised, yet pleased. "I thought...Well, I thought you wouldn't."
"I wasn't, but, I figured I needed to have closure if I'm going to move on with my life."
"Natalie, please..don't.."
"Stop!" Natalie cut her off. "You don't know how hard this is for me." she cried, trying to reign in her emotions. "You cannot just come in my life after years of never being in it. This is even before you actually left." Natalie took a deep breath. "I don't owe you anything. I don't even owe you forgiveness, but I want to move on and I have to be able to do that. And surprisingly, I do forgive you. If I think about it, I really feel much better, knowing that I let it go." Natalie's voice broke as she let lose a cry, covering her mouth she sobbed until she was able to calm herself down. She could hear her mother weeping on the other end.
"I don't know what made you turn from Grandma Lyn and Grandpa, but they were the ones that saved me. The ones that taught me how to be a good person. They taught me so much, most importantly that I should always come first. I cannot think about you, Paula. I cannot think about what you want. I have a life, I have a husband that loves me, and I want a family."
"But, Nat.." Paula cried. "Please, honey..."
"I'm scared. "Natalie whispered. "I'm scared of what "might" happen, don't you understand that?" There was silence on both ends. "Baby steps...Baby steps." Natalie said quietly into the phone. She hung up a moment later and took a deep breath. Wiping her face, she saw the large frame of Romero standing in the doorway. "Are you ready?" she asked.
"Yeah, babe. I'm ready." Natalie put the phone back on the charger and stood up. Romero held out his arm and Natale went into it. His hand rested on her shoulders as he led her out the house to the car.
One Month Later...
Romero directed her in front of the fountain as he took a picture, the umpteenth one since they'd been in Italy, they were in Rome this week. She looked radiant, beautiful actually. They'd spent a week there already. Shoppng, making love in the expensive suite, sampling the local foods, touring everywhere. The sun was shining on most of those days, but even when it rained on the others, they'd still enjoyed themselves. Natalie tired of posing walked toward him, her wide brimmed hat in her hand as she looked at him through her shades.
"Why all the pictures of me?" she asked, admiring his darkened complexion that seemed to make him blend in with the locals. His dark hair and eyes. Natalie swore Romero could pass if he spoke Italian as well as he spoke Spanish.
"Because your beautiful and look at all these men oggling my baby." he scanned the crowd of other tourists and locals. "I want them to know, you are mine. I have pictues to prove it." He replied, placing a kiss on her upturned lips when she got close enough.
"Among other things." she laughed. Romero grinned with her.
"Among other things." Romero took her hand and they sat on the cool concrete of the fountain edge. Romero gave her a coin. "Let's make wishes." he looked at her and they threw them in together. "What did you wish for?" he asked.
"The same thing you did?"
"Oh, so I guess we should go back to the hotel?" Romero teased, wrapping his arm around her neck and pulling her close to steal a kiss. Natalie held onto his arm and smiled widely up at him.
"No, that wasn't it."
"Hmmm." he laughed. "Me too, Mrs. Jones. Me too." Romero chuckled as they strolled along the crowded street.
Finding Mrs. Right Page 15