The man had a point.
“That’s fair.”
Vaughn unpaused the game, and the two of them continued playing.
About half an hour later, they heard the sound of a vehicle pulling up, followed by a car door slamming shut.
Tegan went to the window to see who it was. She gave a long whistle and said, “Holy shit, that is one pissed off pregnant female headed straight for us.” She looked over her shoulder at Vaughn. “What did you do?”
“Nothing. She’s here to see Sawyer, remember?”
Tegan looked at Sawyer. “Well then, what did you do?”
Sawyer shrugged. “Nothing.”
Tegan shook her white-blonde head and turned back to the window. “Nothing, my ass. That’s what all men say when they’ve done something.”
“I’m serious.” And Sawyer was. He had no idea what he could have done to make Naya so mad at him. Like he’d told Vaughn, he rarely even talked to her.
Tegan quickly scrambled away from the window and sat back in her chair. She put her feet up on the armrest, trying to make it look like she had been sitting there the whole time, as the door swung open, and Naya came barreling into the room.
Pissed off pregnant female didn’t even begin to cover it. If Naya had been a cartoon, she would have had smoke coming out of her nose as she charged toward them.
As she approached the couch, she walked right toward Sawyer. He instinctively scooted back as far as he could get.
“You are a fucking asshole!”
“Naya!” Vaughn exclaimed from beside him while Tegan said, “Holy crap, I just heard the vampire princess say fuck.”
Sawyer, still having no idea what was going on, put his hands up in surrender. “Naya, I’m sorry, but I don’t understand.”
“You! You are the reason my very best friend is moving away. All because you’re too damn stubborn and selfish.”
Vaughn stood and pulled Naya back a few steps from Sawyer.
Sawyer put his hands down and leaned forward. “Wait. What now?”
“Kenzie. Kenzie is moving back to Iowa.”
Sawyer swallowed, and a horrible panicked feeling came over him. “She’s moving?”
“Yes. Because of us”—she gestured to herself, Vaughn, and Sawyer—“she lost her job at the hotel and hasn’t been able to find work. Her boss didn’t buy her sick story, and she couldn’t tell him the real reason. Now, no hotel in the area will hire her.”
“She’s moving away for a job because we got her fired?” Vaughn asked.
“Yes,” she told her mate. Then, she put her hands on her hips and glared down at Sawyer. “But even if she could find a job, she’d probably still be moving because of you and your pigheaded, stubborn, selfish, biased, speciesist self.”
Sawyer jumped up from the couch, and Vaughn used Naya’s shoulders to pull her farther away.
She pulled away from him and stepped forward, putting her finger in Sawyer’s face. “I do not understand what is wrong with you. You have a beautiful, vibrant female who would do nothing but love and cherish you if you would give her half a chance.”
Sawyer sighed uncomfortably. “Naya, it’s not that easy.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “Yes, it is. Kenzie is giving up her whole life here—her job, her friends, her apartment, everything—to move back to a place she hates, to live with her father who didn’t even know she was missing over Thanksgiving, to a job that won’t be half as good as the one she had. And do you know why?” She poked Sawyer in the chest with her next words. “Because she’s keeping our secret. She can’t tell anyone about us, and she is willing to give up everything she loves...for us. Do you know what that is?”
Sawyer just shook his head.
“It’s the opposite of selfish,” Naya said, her voice wavering. Her anger was turning to sadness, and she looked to be on the verge of crying.
“Naya, baby,” Vaughn said, trying to touch her again.
“No.” She shook him off. “He needs to hear this.” She turned to Sawyer. “You are so blind to anything else but your hate that you can’t even see when others are suffering, too. You are so caught up in your own feelings and jealousy that you can’t see that you are breaking Kenzie. You don’t want her, but you can’t let her go either. I saw what you did to her the night of my party. She has bruises, Sawyer. Bruises. Still. All because you are too selfish to think of anyone but yourself.”
Sawyer recoiled. He’d known that he was rough with Kenzie that night, and he had regretted it ever since, but he’d had no idea that he hurt her that much.
“But the worst part is not the marks you left on her body. It’s what is going on inside of her. You might hate humans, but she is still an individual. She has wants, needs, and desires just like you. And she has feelings. Feelings that you have stomped on over and over again like they mean nothing. I know you went through something when you were younger, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat someone the way you’ve treated Kenzie. Kenzie didn’t even know you back then, and she has nothing to do with your past. You have to stop punishing her for what someone else did.”
With those parting words, Naya spun around and headed for the door.
Sawyer was stunned by the princess’s words, and he had to sit back down before his legs gave out. She’d had some really good points.
Sawyer looked up to see that Vaughn had followed her to the door and was saying good-bye.
Tegan was sitting quietly, staring at Sawyer with a look of shock on her face. “I can’t believe that just happened,” she muttered.
Neither could Sawyer.
Naya left, and Vaughn walked back into the room.
Nobody said anything at first, but then Vaughn broke the silence. “So, Naya is going back to be with Kenzie for the night. Kenzie is moving on Saturday, and Naya wants to spend as much time with her as possible.”
Sawyer, who had been staring off into space, snapped his neck up to meet Vaughn’s eyes. “What?”
Vaughn almost looked sorry for Sawyer. “Yeah. She’s moving on Saturday. Apparently, she already has almost all of her apartment packed up. We have to get what little is left of Naya’s things out of the second bedroom before then.”
“Saturday?” Sawyer said.
“Yes. She’s not messing around or making idle threats. She’s really moving.”
Sawyer was stunned. This was a lot of information to process.
“Sawyer?”
Sawyer looked at Vaughn again.
“I’m not going to tell you what to do or offer you advice on what you should do, but I think you should know that she’s getting a job with her old boyfriend from high school. All I’m going to say is that this might be your last chance.”
Chapter Thirty
PHOENIX WALKED INTO her bedroom and gently tossed her stuff on her bed. Tegan was sleeping, and Phoenix didn’t want to wake her.
Despite the long night of being on patrol and the late hour, she wasn’t tired. It was another night of patrol that had come up empty. She was beginning to think that they were never going to find Gerald, and at this point, she kept expecting their alpha to call off the search. As much as it pained her, there would be a point at which they’d have to give up. He could be in Hawaii by now, for all they knew, and they could be just wasting their time looking for him.
Phoenix stripped off her warm winter clothes and put on shorts and a tank top. Maybe a light workout would help her burn off some energy, so she could fall asleep. After dressing silently in the dark, she walked quietly through the bunkhouse to the basement. Thankfully, everyone else had gone to bed, and she didn’t have to face anyone on her way downstairs.
Expecting the workout room to be empty, Phoenix was surprised to see Sawyer down there. She almost turned around because she hadn’t talked to him since their last conversation in that room, but he looked troubled. And she wasn’t really mad at him anymore.
She knew that some of the things Sawyer had said were because o
f his own insecurities that he was trying to pass on to her. But she’d still been avoiding him because she didn’t feel like having a make-up conversation with him. She knew Saxon had told Sawyer about her past, and it made her feel awkward. She was hoping that they both could just forget about what had happened, but every time she saw Sawyer, she could tell he wanted to apologize.
Now, she knew she would be a bad friend if she didn’t at least ask Sawyer if he was okay.
She slowly walked into the room and advanced toward him. He was sitting on the workout bench, staring at the floor, and he didn’t even look up as she approached.
“Sawyer,” she said as she put her hand on his shoulder.
Sawyer jumped at the touch.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
He shrugged in response and looked down again.
Phoenix sat beside him. “Are you doing okay?”
“I have no idea.”
What does that mean? “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
Okay then. At least I tried.
Phoenix started to stand, but before she was fully upright, Sawyer spoke again, “Kenzie is moving to Iowa.”
Phoenix dropped back into the seat and blew out a deep breath. “No wonder you don’t know if you’re okay.”
“Yeah.”
“But this is kind of what you wanted, right? Once she moves, a lot of your problems will leave with her.”
Sawyer sighed. “I know. It’s just...”
“You’ll miss her,” Phoenix offered.
Sawyer gave Phoenix a side glance and winced. “Yes.”
Shocked that Sawyer would even admit to that, Phoenix was momentarily speechless. Then, she asked, “So, what are you going to do?”
Sawyer sat up straight and rubbed his hands over his face. “I have no idea. The worst part is that she’s moving back to go to work for her ex-boyfriend. She’ll see the bastard every day at work. And that pisses me off. And it pisses me off that I’m pissed off. My life would be so much simpler if I had never met her.”
“Yes, it would be easier, but you did meet her. And whether you want to or not, you feel something for her.” Phoenix knew she was treading into dangerous waters, but unlike their last conversation, Sawyer seemed to be open to advice. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Why not?”
“Why don’t you want to be with her? Why don’t you claim her as your mate? She would obviously accept you.”
“Because, Phoenix, I just can’t get over the fact that she is human. Plus, she’s totally not my type. I like quiet, demure girls, and Kenzie is anything but that.”
Phoenix couldn’t believe how blind Sawyer was. “First of all, no, you do not like quiet, demure girls.”
Sawyer turned and scowled at her.
“You want to like those girls because you think finding someone like that will make your life easy and simple, but you are not actually attracted to them.”
“What?” he asked in disbelief.
“Oh, you want an example? How about that girl you met on New Year’s? I had already left for the night, but I heard all about it. She was sweet and nice and just the type you claim to want, yet here you are, still single. You didn’t even give the girl one date.”
Sawyer scoffed. “Okay, I’ll give you that one, but she’s only one example.”
“If you think she’s the only one, you’re fooling yourself.”
“Maybe,” he admitted.
“Secondly—going back to your reasons for not mating with Kenzie—it’s not that you can’t get over the fact that she is human. It’s the fact that you don’t want to get over the fact that she is human.”
“Whatever.”
“I’m serious, Sawyer. Have you ever tried to move past what happened to you when you were younger?”
“Well...”
“That’s what I thought. Can you keep something between the two of us?”
Sawyer looked confused. “Yes.”
Phoenix swallowed. She couldn’t believe she was about to tell Sawyer her biggest and most embarrassing secret. “Please don’t laugh, but the one thing that no one knows about me is that I really want to be a mom.”
Sawyer’s eyes rounded.
Phoenix laughed. “I know, right? Me. But I’ve always wanted to be a mother. If I could, I would have a dozen kids. Ever since I was little, the only thing I saw about myself as a grown-up was the fact that I would be a mom. It’s the only thing that I’ve ever truly wanted in life.”
“Phoenix,” Sawyer said.
She could hear the sadness in his voice. “Please don’t feel sorry for me.”
“I would never.”
Phoenix playfully elbowed him in the arm. “Yes, you would.”
“And get my ass kicked? No, thank you.”
She nudged him, but then she turned the conversation serious again. “The thing is, Sawyer, I have tried to get over my past. I have tried to not let it shape me. I have done everything I can think of to move on with my life. Do you know why?”
Sawyer shook his head. “No.”
“Because I want to be happy. I want to find a mate and have a bunch of kids.” She turned to look Sawyer straight in the eyes. “But you...you hold on to your past. You hold on to all the hurt and anger. I don’t think you want to move on.”
“But why? Why wouldn’t I want to move on?”
“That’s easy. Because you blame yourself for what happened. You are punishing yourself, Sawyer, for something that wasn’t your fault. I know you feel like you played a role in what happened to your parents, and maybe you did. But, Sawyer, you are not to blame for what happened. All you were really guilty of is being young and in love and trusting the wrong person. You did not make them do what they did. You did not ask them to do what they did.” She put her hand on his. “You are not responsible for other people’s actions.”
Sawyer sucked in a deep breath and let it out.
Since he hadn’t stopped her so far, she kept going. “I also wonder if you’re having trouble trusting yourself and your heart. I’m guessing that’s why you want a quiet girl because you think something like that won’t happen again. But I have news for you. Sometimes, those quiet girls are even worse. You just don’t know it because they’re quiet.”
Sawyer smiled.
“But, listen, you can’t doubt the feelings that you have now because of what happened years ago. Kenzie is not that girl from your past, and it’s not fair for you to treat her as such. Also, it’s not fair for you to hold all humans accountable for the actions of three. Right now, we shifters are still a secret, but what if we aren’t forever? What if one shifter does something that makes all humans scared of us? That wouldn’t be right, would it?”
Sawyer shook his head. “No.”
“Exactly. So, not only is it not fair to Kenzie, but it’s not fair to you. You are denying your own happiness, Sawyer.” She squeezed his hand and let go. “I’ll leave you with that. Ultimately, you have to decide what you want and what is best for you, but please do so with your eyes wide open.”
Sawyer nodded and cleared his throat. “I will.”
Phoenix stood up and headed for the stairs.
“Aren’t you going to work out?” Sawyer asked.
She turned and smiled. “Nah, I think I’m good. Suddenly, I’m pretty tired.” She twisted back around.
“Phoenix?”
She spun back to Sawyer once again.
“I’m sorry.”
She smiled at him. “Don’t worry. I know.”
Chapter Thirty-One
KENZIE STACKED HER last box and looked around her apartment, trying to suppress her feeling of melancholy. It was a very sad day for her because tomorrow was moving day. She was going to have to say good-bye to her life of the last ten years.
She took another walk through before going to bed. Naya’s room was completely empty—she and Vaughn had come to pick up everything a few days ago—and it seemed this made
Kenzie the saddest. Despite her hands being tied and knowing she was moving because she had a job, she knew that she and Naya would never be the same, and it was possible that, after time, they would lose touch altogether. Naya was the only thing Kenzie had left, and sooner or later, she would be gone, too.
Quit feeling sorry for yourself. Life happens. Shit happens. That’s just the way it goes sometimes.
With a sigh, Kenzie closed the door to Naya’s room and wandered to her own room. All that Kenzie had left was her bed and a vacant nightstand. It looked so empty and lonely. Kind of like her.
She really needed to get a grip on her poor-me routine. She knew things could be worse. Once the movers got there in the morning and she was actually driving down to Iowa, things would feel better.
Kenzie set her phone alarm to go off at four thirty in the morning. The movers were set to be at her place at six, and she wanted to be showered and ready before they got there. It was only eight in the evening, but she knew she would have a big day ahead of her, so she wanted to go to bed early. Plus, she could feel the beginning of a migraine coming on, so she had taken her prescription half an hour ago, and she would pretty much be a zombie on the medication. She’d been told that she had done and said things on it that she couldn’t even remember. It was for the best for her to just go to bed now. And even though she was going to bed early, she was going to be exhausted tomorrow morning for the first few hours. Her medicine worked wonders on her headaches, but it would stay in her system for what seemed like forever.
She changed into her pajamas and slipped into bed. She stared at the crack in her ceiling that had been there since she moved in. She fell asleep while staring at the jagged line, thinking about how much that crack resembled her life and how appropriate it was to be the last thing she saw before closing her eyes.
Sawyer knocked on Kenzie’s door and waited for her to answer.
He’d had a lot to think about during the last few days. With Naya yelling at him and Phoenix opening up and sharing a part of herself, Sawyer knew that he needed to take a step back and look at his life from a different perspective.
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