by Nora Cobb
Right or wrong, where there’s gossip, there’s a reason. “But you’ve been having unprotected sex,” he states.
I look at him, not sure what to say because that’s true. Yes, I had unprotected sex. My silence condemns me.
Uncle Phil narrows his eyes as if he can see the truth. “And you’re certain you’re not pregnant?”
“I am.”
“Unfortunately, you’ve lied to me before, Natalie, and kept secrets.”
“I’m not lying about this,” I protest weakly.
He shakes his head. “By not saying anything, that’s lying by omission.”
I practically shout but catch myself when Uncle Phil gives me a tough look. “I’m not lying now.”
I grab my phone and call the doctor’s office on speakerphone. I ask the nurse to confirm that I’m not pregnant. I’m certain that she doesn’t understand why I need to be told again. The busy nurse answers me flippantly before disconnecting the call.
Uncle Phil sits on the edge of my bed. “Natalie, I asked you to stay out of trouble, and more troubling than that, I trusted you when I should have grounded you for life.”
I look at the clickbait site on the tablet. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?” His voice squeaks. “The last time something happened, I told you to come and tell me, but instead, I find out from a sleazy online website that you’ve been having sex with three men under my roof while I wasn’t home.”
“It wasn’t always under your roof.”
“Natalie, that’s not the point.”
“I’m sorry,” I squeal. “I don’t have an excuse; at least, I don’t have an explanation. But the rumor isn’t true. Do you usually go on this website? This doesn’t seem like your thing.”
Uncle Phil rubs the back of his neck. “Someone sent me a text this morning with the link.”
I look at the tablet again and remember the day I took the pregnancy test at school. I should’ve waited until I got home, and I definitely shouldn’t have thrown it out in the trash on school property. I recall the dirty look that girl gave Beth as we were leaving. She must have looked in the trash. Who does that? And I’m certain who’s responsible for the article. Arielle.
“Natalie,” he continues, “I don’t even know what to do. I thought we had a better relationship, a closer relationship than this.” He points at the tablet.
“You’re really disappointed, aren’t you?” I ask softly.
“I’m more hurt and angry than disappointed,” he explains, “I’m angry because I’m going through this shit in public, too, and now they’re putting you through it again. I’m hurt because I really wish you had told me that you thought you were pregnant and that I didn’t have to find out on a sleazy website.”
“I didn’t know how to tell you.” I lean toward him as if to emphasize my sincerity. “And now I wish I had.”
He looks at me coolly. “Because you got caught?”
“No, I don’t want to be the reason why you’re hurting.” I reach for Uncle Phil’s hand, and he lets me take it. “I’m really sorry, Uncle Phil, but if you knew what I’ve been going through …”
He squeezes my hand gently. “Why don’t you tell me, Natalie? Why don’t you tell me now what you’ve been going through? In fact, I demand to know what else you’ve been hiding from me. Are you hiding anything else?”
My face tells him yes before my mouth can form the word.
“What is it, Natalie? It couldn’t be any worse.”
I pull my hand out of his. “I’m in love with Jacob, Lucas, and Troy.”
Uncle Phil scoffs. “You mean you have crushes on them?”
“No,” I snap, “I mean, I love them completely and can’t be without any of them. I know it. There’s nothing else I’m certain of in life except that I love them. The way I feel about them, I can’t imagine not being with all of them.”
Uncle Phil stares at me silently, and his unblinking gaze makes me look away.
“How do they feel about it?” he finally asks.
I sigh, picking at the sheet covering my legs. “Right now, they’re fighting over me. Jacob proposed to me when I thought I was pregnant.”
Uncle Phil looks as if he might slide off the bed and faint. “Oh boy, I’m sure that thrilled his parents.”
“His mother gave him her ring.”
I reach into the drawer by my bed and hold it in my palm. Uncle Phil takes it and looks at it, twisting it around in his fingers. The diamond reflects the sunlight on the bedroom walls.
“Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” he asks again.
I nod, as he gives me the ring back.
“Are you going to marry him?”
“I want to,” I reply gently, “but I’m afraid if I marry him, I’ll lose Lucas and Troy.”
Uncle Phil sighs. “Natalie, you have to make a choice.”
“I can’t!” I put my face in my hands. My palms are sweaty from nerves, and I inhale the salty scent as I put them down in my lap. “I can’t make a choice. No one understands us. I really do love all of them equally. Asking me to make a choice is like asking me which sense I want to keep. I want to see the blue sky reflected in the ocean, touch it as it rushes against my hand, taste the saltiness on my tongue, hear the roar of the waves as it sweeps the shore, and smell the wind as it sweeps across it. I don’t want to give any of them up.”
I’m surprised that it took me this long to break down. I start to cry, and Uncle Phil reaches for me quickly, pulling me into his arms. I cling to his lean frame and nuzzle my nose in his clean T-shirt.
He strokes my hair. “I’m glad we had this talk, Natalie, but you really need to tell me everything.”
I nod. “I really am sorry. I should have gone to you.”
He frowns. “Who have you been going to for advice?”
“Ms. Petrenko, until she was fired. And then, Beth.”
Uncle Phil looks at me with a look of alarm.
“Oh boy,” he says, “I’m lucky you’re not tattooed up and riding on the back of some forty-year old’s Harley.”
“Beth’s not that bad, Uncle Phil.” I defend my best friend. “She bought me the pregnancy test.”
Uncle Phil throws his head back and shakes it.
I crawl out from underneath the covers and put my arm around his shoulders. He leans into me, and I feel his body shaking. I wrap my other arm around him and just hold him until he composes himself.
“I am so sorry,” I whisper next to his ear. “I never meant to come here and cause trouble, but I’ll be gone soon.”
He pulls his hand away, and I can’t tell if he’s been crying or laughing. He shakes his head until his expression is neutral again.
“Natalie, it’s not your fault,” he says. “I’m stressed from being outed, and then having your name dragged through the mud twice in one year is overwhelming.”
“Still. I could’ve stayed out of trouble better.”
“Natalie, I don’t want you to think that you’re not welcome in my home or that I don’t want you in my life. It’s our home, and it’s also our life together as a family. No matter what happens, we are family, and I love you. But I want to hear everything that has happened at that school to you,” he says.
I press my mouth into a tight grimace. “I don’t think you want to hear the full extent of it.”
“I need to know,” he says firmly. “Don’t make me guess what’s wrong. Tell me. No more secrets.”
As I tell Uncle Phil everything, his face turns pale then alters to shades of red and pale again as he listens to the way I’ve been treated, and the things I’ve had to do to survive the school year.
“I’ll do better,” I tell him, “I’ll talk to you more and tell you next time. It’s just a little bit embarrassing. You know, talking about love and sex.”
“Seriously?” Uncle Phil laughs and holds up the tablet. “You probably know more about my personal life than I do.”
I laugh. “Maybe I do. Any word from Ray?�
�
He shakes his head sadly. “No, I’m afraid I’m just going to have to move on.”
***
The study group starts in less than an hour. I’m dressed and go downstairs to the kitchen. Uncle Phil’s not there, but I can hear his voice from his office. I walk in, and he’s sitting at his desk. His hands are positioned stiffly against the glass surface. The tips of his fingers are white from the pressure. His brow is creased as he listens intently to the person on the phone. He looks up and sees me hovering in the doorway. I’m not sure if he’s still upset and less sure if I should even approach him. It might be best just to leave him alone. But Uncle Phil motions to me, and I walk in and sit down in the straight-back chair next to his desk.
“Thanks for the information,” he says into the phone. “Just let me know when you need me to get back to you.” He leans back in his desk chair, and even though his face is still tense, he lets out a short laugh. “No, it’s fine. It will blow over soon.”
He talks for a few seconds longer and then ends the call. He looks at me sternly without speaking, and I feel a chill race up my spine, wondering if he’s still angry with me. But it’s not me who is making him angry.
“That was my friend, Jessie. We went to school together and stayed in touch. Now, she’s what you would call a legal hacker. Her normal job is to probe for website securities. And an added bonus is that she can get the private WHOIS information from websites that hide it.”
I sit quietly with my hands folded in my lap as he continues.
“Do you know what she found out?”
I shake my head, and I doubt that Uncle Phil expected me to answer.
“The Blackwaters own the website that outed me and posted your selfies.”
My mouth drops. “But that doesn’t make sense,” I reply. “That website posted Arielle’s sex video.”
“No.” Uncle Phil corrects me. “A user on the website posted the video, and then, the moderators took it down. But as you know, once it’s online, it’s forever.”
“I knew it.” My face heats up as hot as Uncle Phil’s. “I knew Arielle had something to do with this. But I’m surprised at her parents. Or maybe not; they raised her.” I narrow my eyes. “They should know better.”
“But I have what I needed,” replies Uncle Phil. “It seems that the website itself was purchased by the Blackwater estate to spread disinformation on their competitors and smear people’s reputations for their amusement.”
“What do you plan to do now?”
Uncle Phil wipes his hand across his forehead and into his hair. “I’ll sue. I’ve already started the paper trail that leads to them, and the senator should be interested to know who is behind the website that outed his son.”
I inhale deeply. “I think the Blackwaters just messed with the wrong people.”
Uncle Phil smiles. And though it is the first smile I’ve seen on him in days, the tilt of it conveys a devilish thought. “They used that website like it was their playground, and now, they’re going to be whipped.”
I cringe. I’m over-the-top pleased that Arielle will get all that she deserves with a cherry on top, but the hateful expression on Uncle Phil’s face makes me pause. We’re not the Blackwaters; we’re not that type of family.
“Natalie, you look worried.”
I don’t reply.
“If I had known what was happening at that school, I never would have donated a dollar of my money. But I can set things right for the next Natalie who attends Montlake.” He looks up from his keyboard into my worried eyes. “I’m not a vengeful man. Except for this one time. I promise you that.”
CHAPTER 16
Natalie
The reservoir is located within a forest reserve located in three towns, including Montlake and West Lake. It’s how the towns got their names. It’s only a five-minute ride from my house, but oddly, I never come here except when Lucas and I make out in the woods. That’s the typical reason why most high school students come here. But today, I’m not hiding in a parked car.
It’s a nice, clear day and I decide to enjoy the weather while I wait for the captains near the lake. I park my car in the lot across from the recreational hub and walk along the walkway by the reservoir to the seating area. I lean back in one of the plastic Adirondack chairs that line the walkway and watch the waterfall twenty feet away. When the water is high in the reservoir, it tumbles down the waterfall violently onto the sharp, jagged rocks. The light mist cools the air, and for a moment, I can imagine I have no problems.
I see them from a distance, walking together down the path towards the lake. This was the best place to meet. At the diner, people can overhear conversations. I close my eyes, tilt my face up towards the sun, and wait. I hope that this tranquil feeling won’t be completely derailed by the hard conversation that we’re about to have.
“Natalie.”
I open my eyes, and Lucas sits down in the chair next to me. Troy sits in front of me, and Jacob pulls a chair over to my left. They form a triangle around me, the same as the day on the deck, but today, they sit closer, almost as if they’re forming a wall of protection around me.
Jacob’s gaze scans my hand. When he doesn’t see the ring, he looks away and frowns, unseeing, towards the distant scenery.
“I have news.” I wring my hands. “And I think it’s good news.” I look at each of their expectant faces. “I’m not pregnant. And the doctor confirmed it.”
Smiling, Lucas places a hand on my knee while Troy looks away. The expression on Troy’s face is more disappointed than relieved. If I were carrying his child, he would always have a connection to me. No matter who I marry.
“I see you’re not wearing the ring,” says Jacob.
I take a deep breath. “I still want to marry you, but perhaps, we should wait until after college.”
Jacob sits back and places a hand over his mouth as he looks away. He isn’t convinced that my gentle suggestion is genuine, and he must think I’m stalling. He’s right. I don’t know if I can handle making a serious decision immediately, though it’s unfair to keep the three of them hanging on.
For a time, it’s quiet, and the only soundtrack is that of water rushing over the rocks into the stream. Four hikers appear from a thickness of trees, and the first one tests the surface of a rock in the water with their toe. The surface looks stable but may be too slippery to cross the stream. The first hiker manages to balance on the rock and then helps the second one. With patience, they form a human chain across the rocks in the stream. Laughing, they’re ecstatic when they reach the other side of the stream and continue their hike into the woods. By holding onto each other, they made it.
Troy speaks first. “I spoke to my mother. I’m in the process of becoming my sister’s legal guardian to stop her from marrying anyone that my mother chooses.”
“That means that the marriage to Connor Bouchard is off?” I ask.
“It will be, once we go to court. My mother offered me a deal to save Vicki. If I marry Cora, she’ll call off Vicki’s wedding.”
“But Cora is engaged,” states Jacob.
“But not yet married,” replies Troy. “Nonetheless, it doesn’t matter because she’s not the woman I want to marry.” With a soft gaze, he looks at me as his fingers brush my knee.
Lucas interrupts, “How does your father feel about it?”
Troy shrugs. “He’s a bit shocked that things have gotten that far. He seemed to think that Vicki was just seeing Connor.”
We moan collectively and acknowledge that we’re not the only ones with serious problems to face.
“Why would he think that?” asks Lucas. “Didn’t they go visit their house and everything?”
“Because my mother told him that it was Vicki’s idea.”
“So she lied?” Lucas asks. “Why didn’t Vicki say anything?”
“Vicki’s goes into shutdown mode whenever Mother starts her antics.” Troy shakes his head. “It wouldn’t be the first time that my mother
lied to my dad about a lot of things. Unfortunately, he still trusts her, and he was too wrapped up in his venture investments to notice that we were falling apart around him.”
“Or he didn’t want to notice,” mumbles Jacob, and Troy ignores the comment.
“So, if you’re becoming your sister’s legal guardian,” I ask, “Where will you stay? You can’t stay with your parents.”
Troy smirks and tosses a pebble toward the water. He has a good arm, but we’re too far away. We watch it bounce off a tree.
“No,” he replies. “My mother would never tolerate that. And neither would I. I plan on taking Vicki with me to college.”