by Gwenda Bond
“On second thought, maybe we should take you home for a full accounting.” He gestured over his shoulder to the motorcycle. “Put her on the bike.”
“No!” I said, shying toward him to get away from the grasping arms. “Just tell me what you want.”
“You don’t give orders to me,” the Rex said.
He lifted a hand, and the boys stopped moving. It was a point well made. He had all the power here.
Or so he thought. I wouldn’t go gently, not now that I’d had a moment to collect myself. I called my magic again, letting it flood my palms, ready. If I had to set that motorcycle on fire, I’d do it.
“Brandon here told us about your phantom-firing-squad trick. Sounds quite impressive—like the kind of thing you could do with the help of a certain coin. I take it you’ve found it, but for some reason thought you might just keep it? From me? From your mother?”
Brandon smiled proudly.
“You said we have until the end of the season.” I fought to keep my voice steady but failed. “That’s our deal.”
“Do you deny you’ve found it?”
Think fast.
“I do. That . . . that was just an illusion.” I seized on the explanation, borrowing from my mother. She could create illusions, so I probably could too. My voice shook even worse than before. “You know my mother does it. Br-Brandon, you should know the difference.”
The Rex watched me. Maybe waiting for me to blurt a confession. To tell all.
I couldn’t turn over the coin to him right now, not even if I wanted to. It was safe in Las Vegas.
“Liars are punished,” the Rex said, stepping closer. He clapped a hand on Brandon’s shoulder, well above the cast. Brandon almost hid his wince, but I saw it. “You know what punishment looks like. So I’d advise you not to ever get caught prevaricating to me.”
“I swear,” I said, voice still shaky. What if he didn’t believe me? Could he tell I was lying?
Headlights appeared at the end of the lot again, and another motorcycle sped toward us. When it got closer, I saw the driver’s red hair streaming behind her.
Mom. Whether she was willing to battle or not, the relief almost sent me to my knees.
The Rex loomed over me as she neared. “I want you to know, I could take you anytime. No one would help you. You’re one of us now. Find the coin.”
“I’m trying.”
My mom pulled up beside us. “A party I wasn’t invited to? Is there news?”
There was more fire in her tone than I expected. It added to my suspicions that her cowed demeanor before had been an act. I still couldn’t figure out to what end, though.
“No news,” the Rex said. “No party. We were just talking. She hasn’t found the coin yet. See you soon, sweet girl. Next time we’ll send a proper summons.”
He waved his hand, and his henchguys disappeared back into the grounds, Brandon among them. The Rex got on his bike and left. But my mother stayed put.
“So sometimes you do stand up to him,” I said.
“If he took you now . . . I’d never survive.”
“You still have hope for me to get out of this too?”
“Yes,” she said simply. “You grew up outside this. You see more possibilities than I ever could. I have hope that you’ll get out of this, and save me too.”
“Dad was here,” I told her.
“So I heard. You’re still here because of Dez. Right?”
“His life is in my hands.”
I heard him then, shouting from the direction of camp. “Moira! Moira, are you out here?”
She nodded like she understood, and kicked the bike back to life.
I didn’t watch her leave. I spun and ran toward the sound of Dez’s voice.
I met him just beyond the palm trees and threw myself into his arms. I held on tight, breathing hard, fingers knotted in his shirt. I never wanted to let go. “Did he hurt you?” he asked.
“He was going to take me.” I didn’t want to tell him, but I had to. “Brandon . . .”
“Brandon left the phone. I woke up and he was gone, but I saw the messages and put it together. What happened?”
“The Rex . . . he was here. Brandon told him about the bullets. He thought we found the coin . . . I convinced him not to take me, or he left because my mom showed up. I don’t know which.” I was shaking like I’d never be warm again. “Some guy had me and I couldn’t get away . . . couldn’t think of what to do.”
“You’re all right. It’s over,” he said, tracing comforting circles on my back. “Brandon . . . he can’t help it.”
It took me a moment to comprehend what he’d said.
I pushed back from him. “Wait a minute. Brandon almost got me taken out. For good. There were three guys and the Rex against me. I’ve never felt so helpless in my life.”
“I just . . . I’m sure he thought he was doing the right thing. He left the phone.”
I couldn’t believe this. After the panic I’d felt . . . “The right thing—helping to kidnap your girlfriend? To rat her out and get her punished? He said you weren’t thinking of you anymore. Just me. But he was clearly wrong.”
“He probably blames you.” Dez scrubbed a hand down his cheek. “For his hand.”
That didn’t make this any variety of okay.
Dez went on. “I don’t blame you, you know that. If anyone is to blame, it’s me. But we’ve always been like brothers.”
“Some brother.”
The palm trees swayed, the wind kicking up around us.
“Moira, you didn’t grow up like we did. The Rex tells you to do something, you do it. Same with the Regina. I told you I’d leave”—his voice lowered to a hush—“but I don’t believe they’ll ever really let it happen. Maybe you should have gotten out of here with your dad.”
“Funny, my mom knew I’d still be here.”
“Why?”
“She knows I’m staying here for you. To get you away.” And, I was starting to believe, as long as it helped her get her magic refilled.
“Maybe you should listen to her.”
After how scared I’d been earlier, I couldn’t take him telling me this. “When we first met, you were always accusing me of running. Well, you always want to give up. I understand that we grew up different. But no one’s going to hand you a solution. When Dad wouldn’t watch me perform, I came here. I found another way to go after my dream. I won’t let them take it away. And you can’t just give in either. Don’t give up because this is how your life has always been.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You could have left here and never looked back. You could call your dad in a second and be out of here. Sure, you’d have to be careful. But . . . I have no one except them.”
“And me. You have me.” I had to make him see. “Even scared out of my mind because that monster almost kidnapped me, I’d rather be here and fight. They will win if your heart isn’t in this.”
“It is.”
I reached out and touched his arm, giving it a squeeze. I wanted to pull him into another hug, to kiss him, to shake him and make him believe he was worth fighting for. “It’s not.”
And I started back, suddenly exhausted. I motioned for him to play escort. I wasn’t walking anywhere else alone tonight. “But you can change that anytime you want,” I said. “Think about what I’m saying and get ready. Because they are not going to make this easy, not for either of us.”
I shivered, thinking of how close that call had been. My mother still wouldn’t go head-to-head with the Rex.
This was the most fight I could expect out of her. I understood that in a way I hadn’t before.
I shivered with the knowledge, as it sank deep in my bones.
thirty-nine
“Don’t move.” I dragged the mascara brush slowly across Dita’s eyelashes. “Don’t blink either.”
“Sorry.”
“You never do your own?”
“I have a thing about fingers around my eyeballs, especia
lly my own. I always flinch. But I like how it looks,” she said. “My mom, or the makeup lady, always does them.”
“Perfecto.” I finished it up. I had learned a lot about makeup hanging out backstage in Vegas.
“Hurry up,” Jules called from the living room.
“Just keep making out. We’re almost ready,” I called back.
I heard Remy laugh. We were about to leave for the buses to the beach fete. I hadn’t seen or heard from Dez all day, and I almost regretted what I’d said to him. His life was even more complicated than mine. He was in big trouble.
I couldn’t get either of us out of this on my own. He was going to have to show up not just for me, but for himself.
My phone trilled with a call, and I expected it to be Dad. We hadn’t talked since his visit.
Dez and Brandon’s number popped up. My heart thumped as I answered. “Hello?”
“It’s me,” Dez said. “I knew you wouldn’t trust a text.”
“Good thinking.”
Dita was watching me with curiosity, so I kept my tone light. I didn’t think she had any idea I’d gone out last night. She’d given no sign of waking when I came in.
Dez went on. “I was thinking we could skip the bonfire. I heard what you said last night.”
“You did?” I asked.
“Meet me at the Ferris wheel in half an hour. We’ll start making a real plan—to save both of us.”
“Come on!” Jules again, and this time she stomped back to get us.
“See you then,” I said. And to Dita and Jules, “I’m staying here.”
Dita blinked her freshly mascaraed lashes. She was dressed in a pair of knee-length shorts and a short-sleeved men’s button-down for the beach. “What?”
Jules eyeballed the phone in my hand.
“Dez has got a lot going on,” I said. “We’re going to stay here and talk.”
“You’d tell us if there was something you needed?” Dita asked.
“Of course.”
Not.
They both looked at me; finally, Jules shrugged and said, “It’s your call.”
“You guys better get going, then. I don’t want you to miss out.”
Jules took Dita’s arm and steered her out. I stayed in the bedroom, butterflies butterflying around in my stomach. To pass the time, I decided to practice some transformations. Never again would I freeze up like I had the night before.
I didn’t have any wisdom to go on—only my gut. I tossed a coin into the air, calling my magic, feeling it heat me from the inside out and radiate from my palm, and watched a paper butterfly flutter down to the floor.
I checked the time on my phone.
I took a handful of prop coins from my case and tossed them in the air, then watched them float down on paper wings.
I imagined what I could do with my magic onstage, with more time and better control. Would it be so different than just doing regular magic? I’d thought of it as cheating, but I might have been hasty. Stage magic was all about the effect, what the people in the crowd saw. Giving them an experience they didn’t know how to explain.
With another coin, I made a paper dragon and watched it sail past me and down. I imagined it breathing fire at the Rex. I checked my phone for the time.
It had only been fifteen minutes. I’d have just barely missed the bus out to the barbecue.
Maybe I should have wondered whether I was about to experience a repeat of the night before. It was possible I trusted Dez too much at this point. But while he’d defended Brandon, I still couldn’t believe that he’d betray me outright. I picked up the paper representations of my nervous energy and stuffed them into the trash can.
I headed out the front door and through the darkened caravans and RVs. The midway was quiet and subdued with all of its lights killed, the last of the so-called magic hour right before sunset casting everything with a soft, slowly dying glow.
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one of us who couldn’t wait. Dez stood at the base of the Ferris wheel. He lifted his hand in greeting.
He moved to meet me halfway. There was no one else standing by to run it this time, and the wheel was as dark as everything else. In fact, we were probably the only two people around besides Thurston’s security. Speaking of which . . .
“Are we going to get busted by the flashlight-and-Taser brigade?” I asked.
“I alerted Steven. He’s a pal,” Dez said.
“Steven?”
“Oh, he’s on security tonight. He’s, um, giving us some privacy.”
“Where were the security guys last night?” I asked.
“Brandon’s smart.”
I must have made a face, because he said, “No, he is. He called in a trash-can fire on the other side of the grounds. They were probably checking it out.”
I shivered again. Brandon had put more thought into what he’d done than I’d assumed.
Dez grew solemn. It was always a shock when it happened, his face showing what was beneath that rakish exterior. I felt like I had only the vaguest clue, even after all the time we’d spent together. But I also knew it was important that he let me see there was anything there at all.
“I’m sorry that I defended him,” Dez said.
That was a good start.
“So, we’re making a plan?” I asked.
“I have a confession to make first.”
Don’t tell me you were in on last night. I couldn’t take it. “What’s that?”
“This is where I come at night. Whenever we’re not together, after everyone’s asleep, I come here. Just lately.”
“Here?” I glanced at the ground, relieved that the confession wasn’t about Brandon’s tip-off.
He raised his hand and pointed up. “No, there. I want to show you what I see from there, explain. Then, we plan.”
“Let’s go, then,” I said.
“You don’t mind climbing?” he asked, but he’d already reached into his back pocket and pulled out a flashlight.
“It’s not like I haven’t climbed it before. Just tell me when to stop.”
Sunset had ceded to darkness. He flicked on the flashlight and shone it up the left-hand side of the big metal behemoth. A thrill raced through me. This was better than any beach barbecue.
I was glad I’d worn sneakers and jeans. I went to the first car and pulled myself up onto the arm, then again, finding a path and making steady progress. I jumped up and grabbed part of the arm above, climbed onto the next car, and did it again. Dez anticipated each move, the flashlight illuminating what I needed it to, and the security light taking over when I got too high for his beam to reach.
“There,” he shouted up.
I swung down to sit in a car almost at the top, looking out over the quiet grounds. San Diego light pollution didn’t hide all the stars, just most of them, and that ever-present breeze made the car sway slightly with a lullaby-rocking motion.
I looked down to see Dez making fast progress up the darkened wheel below, no light for him besides what came from the evening sky and the nearest security lamp. He clearly knew the way by heart, and my pulse kicked into high gear watching him. One hand in the wrong place and he would tumble down. He’d catch on metal on the way, or hit his head.
This is where I come at night . . .
If he fell out here by himself, how long until someone found him? Sure, I took risks, but I rehearsed. There were fail-safes. This was something else.
He finally reached me, pulling himself over the side of the red-white-and-blue-painted car and onto the leather seat beside me. I gave his shoulder a shove. There was nothing hot about the risk he’d just taken. The risk he’d been taking regularly, it seemed.
“You are reckless and stupid, Desmond—” I broke off. How could I yell at him without even knowing his full name? “What’s your last name?”
“I think it’s Robinson, but that could have just been a favorite alias of Dad’s.”
Two different worlds we came from, but his had
a hold over us both.
“Anyway,” I said, shoving him again, “this is dangerous. Stupidly dangerous. Not cool in any way. What if you fell?”
He settled back, resting his head against the metal lip that rose up behind us. He turned his head toward me. “When I sit up here, I’ve been thinking about just that.”
His face was so much more familiar to me than it had been that first date night. We, the two of us together, were familiar. I reached over and touched his arm, and my pulse sped up again with the faintest skin-to-skin contact. Familiarity hadn’t changed the chemistry between us.
“Just what?” Even though he wasn’t in danger of falling anymore, my heart pounded. I had already fallen for him.
“About what would happen if I fell,” he said. “How no one would care, really. It would make things simpler, for you.”
“Hey,” I said. “I would care. It would not make anything simpler.”
He sighed. “But you shouldn’t. And it would. You’re wrong.”
“Dez, I thought we were here to make a plan.” This talk frightened me. I wanted him to see his life was more valuable than he considered it, not less.
“We are. I just wanted you to . . . understand.” He closed his eyes and released a frustrated breath. “I’m messing this up.”
“Let’s start from a different place. What do you want, if you get free of them? What do you want to do with your life?” I could try to make him see that he was worth saving, that the future could be different than he’d imagined. “Any secret dreams? Like I want to be a magician, you want . . .”
“I don’t know.” He said it like it was ludicrous. “I never thought about anything except being Praestigae.”
“You’re making me want to push you off of here,” I said, but the opposite was true. I wanted to make him see that he mattered. That they had no real claim on him. On either of us. “It doesn’t matter if anyone cares if you fall. That is irrelevant. You should care. That’s what I meant last night.”
I was breathing hard, and so was he. We’d gone to a deep, dark place here, and he was resisting my attempts to shine sunlight on it. I wasn’t sure if he’d push me away.
He was silent for a long moment. “I’m trying.”
“Okay,” I said, willing to take that for now. “Now, what makes you happy?”