Love Collides (Fate's Love #3)

by L A Cotton

  She smiled, looking at our entwined fingers.

  “I can wait. I lo- umm, I look forward to it.”

  The words almost tumbled out. I love you. In my head, I told Staci that all the time. But saying them out loud would change everything. She wasn’t ready to hear it.

  “You look forward to it?” Staci eyed me with suspicion.

  “Yeah, you know, seeing you again. I look forward to seeing you again. After we say goodbye and you go away and come back.”

  A laugh bubbled up in Staci, but she swallowed it down. “I look forward to it as well, friend.”

  “I thought we were over the whole friend thing?”

  “We are.” She shrugged, a hint of a smile on her lips.

  ~ Staci ~

  I left Kade’s early to get a head start on finishing my packing. Kade was still sleeping. The morning was cold, the weather was starting to turn, and I hugged my jacket closer to my body.

  “Staci, wait up,” a gravelly voice called from behind me.

  I turned around to come face to face with Mikey. His red-rimmed eyes were sunken against his pale skin. He looked awful, and I went on high alert, remembering Joel’s warning.

  “What do you want, Mikey?” I said with almost a growl.

  His mouth twitched, and his eyes blinked into focus. In fact, his whole body seemed to be twitching or shivering. He looked like he was in some kind of withdrawal, and I stepped back, putting more distance between us.

  “I just want to talk. Please. Just five minutes.”

  Five minutes…Nine years ago, I would have given my soul for five minutes with the guy who shattered my heart into pieces. He didn’t deserve it after all of this time, but maybe the young girl in me was stronger than I ever gave her credit for.

  I glanced around us, checking for familiar faces. “Five minutes, but that’s all you’re getting.”

  My cell vibrated in my purse. Usually, it would have put a smile on my face. But all contentment I’d felt only minutes earlier had been replaced with dread. Even if it was most likely Kade texting after finding my side of his bed empty.

  “Is that him?” Mikey’s voice hissed.

  “Excuse me?” I straightened refusing to let him intimidate me.

  “The tall guy you’re fucking? You are fucking him, right? Little whore.”

  I bristled and stepped forward into Mikey’s space. “Excuse me?”

  “You heard me. I came all this way to see you, to smooth things over, only to find you fucking some guy.”

  “You’ve got to be shitting me,” I said more to myself than him.

  I realized then that Mikey was sicker than Joel knew. He was completely deluded.

  “Mikey, there is no us to smooth over.”

  “No us,” he barked, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket. “No us? Are you fucking kidding me? It’s always been about us. Everything is about us.”

  My chest cracked. All these years and a tiny part of me still felt something for the first guy—the only guy—I’d ever loved. Mikey was a mess, not even resembling the boy who made my lonely world seem full. It was as if I were looking at a complete stranger.

  “Mikey, you should go. This, us, was over a long time ago.” I tried to sound calm, compassionate even. But Mikey’s eyes flared with anger.

  “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Get Mikey out of the picture and then screw around with anything with a dick. Just because I was out of the state doesn’t mean I didn’t hear about how you whored it around with half of Kaplan.”

  What the…?

  The thin tether of my patience snapped, and I lunged forward, throwing my hands at Mikey’s chest. “What the fuck? Listen to yourself. You left me. YOU. LEFT. ME. Just like that. Gone. And you come here, disrupting my life, ten years later, and try to blame me? I don’t care if you have problems or issues or a fucking death sentence… you broke me and you have no fucking idea how much. Get the hell away from me! I hate you. I fucking hate you!”

  Mikey’s eyes widened with realization, and he reached out for me. I stumbled back out of his touch, wrapping my arms around my waist, fighting to catch my breath. I hated him. I loathed the person he had made me become. Even after all of this time, it was too raw. Mikey Turner was a reminder of things lost—a life I could have had.

  “Staci, fuck, I- I’m so-”

  “Don’t. Just don’t.” I glared straight at him, refusing to give him total power over me. “You have no fucking idea what I went through after you left me. So don’t you dare say those next words. Just leave.”

  He stepped forward again, and I recoiled wrapping my arms tighter.

  “I can’t, not until we talk. Please.”

  “Fine. If you don't leave, then I will.” I turned from him and walked away, only my arms holding myself together.

  ***

  Staring at myself in the mirror, I breathed out, turned to the side, and tried to see the outline of my swollen stomach. Carrying small was a blessing in disguise. Dad and Eric were still none the wiser about the pregnancy. At twenty-three weeks, and despite gaining a few pounds, I still fit into my regular clothes. But tomorrow that wouldn’t matter. Tomorrow I planned on sitting them down and telling them. I’d even bought a cute baby onesie with the words ‘Baby Jameson’ printed across the chest.

  It was time.

  Mikey might have crushed my heart for a second time when I visited Joel and Tanner at LSU, but he’d also made me realize something; I didn’t need the conditional love of some guy when I would soon have the unconditional love of my son or daughter. They would love me irrevocably. It was all I needed.

  Even if Dad packed my bag and made me leave, I was keeping the baby. I’d made my choice.

  ~

  “Last table just left, Gina,” I yelled through the swinging door.

  “Perfect, doll. You can take off if you want. See you tomorrow?”

  “Sure thing,” I replied, rubbing my stomach. I’d been having cramps all day. But between school and working extra hours at the diner, I was tired. No part of me didn’t ache when I got home each evening.

  After wiping down the counter, I grabbed my keys from the locker in the back and headed out.

  “Night.”

  Gina’s voice followed me out of the diner and into the small parking lot. I cranked the heater up as soon as I was inside the car. A shooting pain ripped through my stomach, and I gasped, clutching my midriff. After taking a couple of deep breaths, I fired up the car. Home was only a ten-minute drive, but the pain didn’t subside. If I couldn’t get through a few growing pains, what in the hell would I be like during labor?

  I’d been driving about five minutes when another pain ripped through me, except this time it took my breath away. Pulling over, I hit the hazard lights on the console and gripped the wheel tight, trying to focus on my breathing. It was too early for Braxton Hicks, and definitely too early for early labor. Panic spread through me, and before I knew it, I had pulled back on the road and started in the direction of the hospital. Something was wrong. Every cell of my being knew it.

  “Hang in there, baby. Mommy really wants to meet you, but not yet. You’re not ready.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I fought to maintain focus on the road and not the pain tearing me apart on the inside.

  My seat felt wet. I didn’t want to look down. I didn’t want it to be real.

  I pulled into the medical center and parked the car in the first available space.

  My hand touched the seat between my parted legs.

  Blood.

  So much blood.

  No. Please God, no.

  Everything was a blur. How I fell through the doors to reception. Nurses in scrubs rushed to my side, helping me onto the gurney. People yelling at me for my name, how many weeks were there until the baby was due, who was my doctor? I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t form words.

  Blood. There’s so much blood.

  ~

  The regimented beep of the monitor stirred me, and I peeled an eye
open. My insides felt battered and bruised.

  I felt hollow.

  Tears rushed from my eyes, and an alarm sounded. The doors opened and a nurse hurried in. “Shh there, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

  “But the baby, my baby is-” The words caught in my throat. “Gone. Isn’t it?”

  “She. You delivered a baby girl, but it was too early, honey. I’m so sorry for your loss.” The nurse clutched my hand and smiled at me sympathetically.

  A roar of pain tore from me, and I cried into the room with a stranger holding my hand.

  I was alone.

  My baby was gone.

  “There, there. Do you want me to call someone?”

  I shook my head. “No, no. No one. Thank you.”

  “You should really have someone with you. And I have to ask, how old are you, honey?”

  “Wha-what?”

  “You didn’t have any ID with you. But we have to ask. If you’re a minor, then we have to inform your parents.”

  “I’m eighteen.” I rushed out a little too fast, and the nurse’s forehead crinkled.

  She studied me for a second before saying, “Okay, well get some rest. The doctor will be in later to explain things to you. I’ll have someone bring you some water. Rest now.”

  The nurse left the room, and I clamped my eyes shut, hoping it might shut out some of the pain. How was it you could miss something so much? Something you didn’t even have yet. I hadn’t even been certain keeping the baby was the right decision, but now I would never know. And at that moment, I realized how much I’d wanted the baby. My baby.

  I squeezed my eyes tighter and let the pain consume me. It was the only thing I could do.

  ~

  “Staci, the doctor is here now.”

  “Miss Jameson.” The doctor smiled, but it was clinical—like everything else in this place.

  “Hello,” I choked out. It was the same every time I tried to talk.

  “I believe Nurse Marie explained a few things to you, but I’m here to fill in the gaps.”

  “Is the father on his way?” He glanced back at the nurse.

  “Hmm, the father isn’t on the scene, doctor,” Nurse Marie replied.

  “Ahh, I see. Well, your family, then? You really shouldn’t be here alone.”

  “She’s eighteen, doctor, and has requested that we not inform anyone yet.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief. Nurse Marie had quizzed me again about my age and calling someone, but I begged her to give me some time to come to terms with things before I called anyone. She was reluctant, but agreed to let me have one more night. I might have told her about the father—about what a cheating manwhore he was. It wasn’t quite the truth, but close enough.

  “Okay then, shall we?” The doctor pulled up one of the chairs and perched at the end of the bed. “Yesterday, you arrived at the hospital experiencing blood loss and pain…” I winced. “We estimated you to be at almost twenty-four weeks gestation. We believe the placental abruption caused the onset of early labor. Unfortunately, we were unable to revive the fetus…”

  Tears rolled down my face as I winced at his clinical words. Did he think I couldn’t remember everything? I closed down; his words became one jumbled meaningless string of sounds. Unviable. Blood loss. Recovery.

  None of it mattered. Couldn’t he see that I was broken? To him this was just routine procedure, and to me it was everything. It was the difference between dark and light; happiness and sorrow. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes.

  “Doctor. Perhaps we could finish this another time?” Nurse Marie’s gentle voice said.

  The doctor made an agreeable noise and the door clicked shut behind them.

  I was alone.

  Alone.

  ~

  Later that afternoon, reality slowly started creeping up on me. Over twelve hours had passed since I should have arrived at home after my shift at the diner, and the twenty-two messages from Dad, Eric, Joel, and Tanner implied they were one step from calling the police. Luckily, my cell had been tucked into my pocket when I arrived. The battery was almost dead, but I was able to call Gina.

  “Hello,” my voice croaked.

  “Staci, what’s happened? Your dad came by. He’s not happy, doll. You need to get home.”

  “I need you to come to North Florida Medical Center. Please.”

  “Okay. I’ll get Harry to cover the diner. I’ll be there soon.” She hung up, and I sank back into the bed, blocking out the ache in my stomach.

  Gina was an ask-no-questions kind of woman. As long as you worked hard and kept your fingers out of the tip jar, she was cool. And she was the closest thing I ever had to a mom. I just hoped she could help me out of this one.

  Twenty minutes later, Gina breezed into the room. “Doll, what the hell have you gotten yourself mixed up in? These hoity-toity doctors wouldn’t tell me a damn thing. I had to pretend to be family, for Pete’s sake, just to get in here.”

  “I- I-” Tears flowed down my cheeks like a river.

  “Oh, doll. It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s nothing that we can’t solve.” Gina perched on the side of the bed and enveloped me in her arms.

  “I lost the baby.”

  “Oh, doll. Shh.” She rocked me gently whispering soothing noises in my hair, and I imagined it was my own mom comforting me. Even though I couldn’t remember her.

  After letting me cry my eyes dry, Gina asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

  I shook my head. “Not yet, but I need you to talk to Dad. He can’t know, not now. Just tell him I went to a party and called to let you know I was fine, and that I’m scared to go home or something. Anything to buy me some time.”

  My eyes pleaded with her. Gina knew how crazy protective my family was. It was the reason she gave me the job in the first place.

  “Sure thing, doll. But what are you going to do about them?” She thumbed the door. “A nurse tried following me in here wanting their forms filled in.”

  “I told them I was eighteen.”

  “Shit. Okay, hmm, I’m your aunt. Got it?”

  At that moment, Nurse Marie entered and smiled. “How are we feeling now, Staci?”

  “Sore.”

  “Completely normal. The doctor wants to come by to talk about what happens next, but I can see you have a visitor. Hello, I’ve been looking after Staci. I’m Marie.”

  “Gina Gillick. Staci’s aunt.”

  “Nice to meet you. We need to process Staci’s paperwork; is that something you can help us with?”

  Gina flashed her a smile. “Sure thing. But we need to admit something. My niece might have told a little white lie. She’s not yet eighteen. She panicked. Her dad, my brother, is a little overbearing, if you catch my drift, and well, she didn’t want him finding out.”

  Nurse Marie smiled sympathetically again. “Good thing you’re here then, Aunt Gina. Let’s get that paperwork filed.”

  Ten minutes later, Gina breezed back into the room.

  “You can thank me later. You’re officially now a patient of the North Florida Medical Center, and your dad has called off the search party. Although expect a grilling when you get home. He’s pissed. But he knows you’re safe, and he even thanked me for calling him.”

  Relief washed over me.

  “Thank you. I owe you big time.”

  Gina smiled. “Doll, please. You just focus on you. I’m always here. Got it?”

  ***

  On the walk back to Lou’s apartment, I let myself remember. It wasn’t something I thought about much anymore. The memories were imprinted. Engraved on my heart, but I didn’t relive them too often. I never forgot Dad’s reaction when I returned home. He grounded me for a month—removed all of my phone and computer privileges. Not that it mattered. I didn’t have anyone to call or text. Gina tried to get me to talk about what had happened, but I shut down. It was like the second I stepped foot out of the hospital, I closed that part of myself off. But one thing was certain. It wa
s just me, myself, and I because I was never letting anyone in again.

  Ever.

  And I hadn’t. Not until Kade Ford. But was it enough?

  I still wasn’t sure.

  ~ Kade ~

  "Is she here?" I asked breathlessly after taking the stairs two at a time.

  "Kade?" Confusion clouded Lou’s eyes. "Isn't she at your place? She left earlier and said that you were taking her to the airport tomorrow morning."

  "Does it look like she’s with me?"

  Fuck.

  Something was definitely wrong.

  Between Staci leaving my apartment this morning and the last twelve hours, something had happened. When she never showed as planned, I waited…and waited. Apparently, I waited until it was too late. But hindsight was a cruel fucking thing, and I wanted to believe there was a reason for her no-show. Like she’d fallen asleep or got hung up with Lou saying goodbye. I didn’t want to believe the voice at the back of my mind whispering that she was already gone.

  I'd spent all afternoon replaying our last few encounters over and over in my head. There was nothing. No small sign that she was preparing to leave just like that or without saying goodbye. We were good. We were! But for as much as I wanted to believe this wasn't about us, the seed of doubt refused to stay quiet.

  "She was flying back to Kaplan tomorrow, right?" Lou frowned. "Have you tried calling her?"

  I shot Lou a look. Was she fucking serious? Of course, I'd called. I'd spent the last three hours texting and calling only to be met with silence or her voicemail.

  "I don't understand. What happened? Everything was going well between the two of you, wasn't it? Did you screw things up?" Lou glared at me, daring me to prove her wrong.

  “Because I can't keep it in my pants, right? Un-fucking-believable. Do you really think I'd do that to her? Nice, real nice, Lou," I ground out, anger flaring through me.

  "Sorry. I'm sorry, okay. It's just, she seemed so happy and then this morning she got back and seemed... I don't know, sad. She wouldn't talk about it; she just spent the day in her room packing. When she finally came out, she said she was going to spend the night at your place."