Breaking Kate: The Acceptance Series

by Kelly, D.

  Marc leans across and kisses me on the cheek. “I’m going to go work out before the girls get here at five for their morning workout. Call me if you need anything, otherwise I’ll see you Monday. It was nice to meet you, Connor.”

  “Marc, wait, can you just lock up behind us? I’m going to talk to Connor outside.”

  “Sure thing, baby girl.”

  “Sorry, Connor, I forgot my phone in the car. You wouldn’t believe the night I’ve had. Listen, I have a lot to tell you, but I would rather sleep for three hours and tell all of you at the same time. This is between you and I, so please don’t say anything, but the reason I was at the gym so long was because I didn’t get here until after two. I had a visit from Vanessa tonight. She followed me home from your parents’ house and we had a nice long talk.”

  Connor’s jaw hits the ground, almost quite literally. “I’m assuming you mean that very sarcastically about your nice talk with Vanessa, but I completely missed the infliction in your tone.”

  I give him a sad smile. “No, I really had a nice visit with her. I know you can’t understand it, and I don’t expect you to, but I like her a lot. I promised you I wouldn’t make any rash decisions, and you have to trust me when I tell you I didn’t, but I also don’t think any of you are going to like what happens tomorrow. I’m sorry I can’t tell you any more than that, but it wouldn’t be fair for me to tell you before I talk to them.”

  “But you told Marc?” I sigh. I knew he was going to say that.

  “Yes, I told Marc, but Marc is my soul keeper and he won’t let me fall. I ran it by him because he’s my friend. He has no connections or ties to anyone but me and no vested interest in the outcome, except for my happiness. That’s why I needed him tonight. It doesn’t make me love you any less.”

  “Yeah, that makes sense. I get it, and I’m glad you have someone that is removed from the situation to help you out. Do you know what you’re going to do tomorrow? Who you’re going to pick?” I nod at him sadly.

  “Can you do me a favor, please? I really have to run home and shower and sleep for a few hours. On your way over in the morning, can you guys pick up some donuts or bagels and coffee and o.j.?”

  Connor gets an evil smile on his face. “Sure thing, buttercup. With the way Mike and Daniel are pacing at opposite ends of the house, avoiding each other, I’ll just mention to one of them you want donuts and coffee and to the other that you want bagels and o.j.; your cup will runneth over.” We both break out in laughter. This is the best laugh I’ve had in the last day.

  “I love you, Connor, and I’m sorry you’re going to be caught in all of this.”

  “I love you, too, Kate. Don’t worry about me. You’re my priority in this. I’m making it my job to be sure that you stay okay. I just got you back in my life; I won’t let you fall, either. It’s you and me against the world. Now get your smelly, sexy ass home and get some sleep.”

  I drag myself up the stairs when I get home. Jess is waiting for me in my bed. “Shower and come sleep with me. Connor told me something epic happened tonight and not to bother you until the morning. Since he usually doesn’t try and tell me what to do I’m going to trust him on this one. I’ve got the alarm set for eight thirty and told him to tell those boys no one is getting access before nine.” I love her so much. I take the world’s quickest shower, and although I think I’m going to have a hard time falling asleep, Jess spoons me and I’m out like a light.

  Morning comes too fast. Today is a big day and it’s going to be an emotional rollercoaster. After the alarm goes off, Jess grabs my hand.

  “Are you really okay, Kate?” I wipe away the tears that are leaking from the sides of my eyes and shake my head. There’s no way I can tell her that I’m breaking all over again, even though I am. I have to be stronger this time, I have to be.

  “No, I’m not, but I will be. Today’s going to be bad, but I promise you I’m not going to break again. I’m not that girl anymore; I won’t let myself be.”

  Nodding her head, she gives me a hug and goes to get ready. We make our way downstairs, and before we even hit the bottom step the doorbell is ringing. Jess rolls her eyes.

  “Well they’re nothing if not punctual.” Too bad this is one time I would rather them be late. Connor strolls in first and sure enough, Daniel follows with donuts and coffee with Mike trailing behind with bagels and o.j. I look at Connor and laugh.

  “What? I told you the power of suggestion works wonders... See? Your cup runneth over.”

  “Well, guys, I guess this is the moment of truth. I’m sure this is going to be the first discussion of many today. Grab some food and take a seat; we only have an hour. This is going to be emotional and painful, but we’re all going to get through it together. At ten o’clock, my dad’s driver is picking Mike and me up for a field trip of sorts which will be extremely emotional and painful, but hopefully healing as well. Daniel, I will text you on my way home so you can meet me here. We have so much to talk about. Any questions so far?”

  Everyone shakes their head. I sort of feel bad because Mike looks excited to be going out. If only he knew why, he wouldn’t be excited at all. Once we’re all settled around the table I begin.

  “I need you all to know that everything I’m about to say has been thought out. I’m not making any rash decisions, and I’m doing what I think is best for all of us. Yesterday was a shock to say the least. I guess one of the downsides to falling head over heels in love so quickly is that you miss some important details, like last names. I know for me, the last four years have been extremely difficult. It has only been this last year that I have begun to be myself again. Meeting Daniel and exploring our love is more than I could have ever asked for. Knowing Connor this past year, I learned a lot about Daniel and Mike through him before I even met you two. However, it’s really been these past two weeks that has enlightened me about your relationships. I’ve been able to witness firsthand how much of a family you are beyond just friendship.”

  “My new relationship with the Houstons complicates things a bit because they are my family and I’m going to be integrated into your lives from here on out. I left last night because I needed time to think—time to figure out if there’s a way to be with Daniel and have Daniel and Mike continue to be friends. I thought maybe with time things could get easier, but realized there would always be some ill feelings there between you two. Mike, I read your letter and you have no idea how much those words would have meant to me a few years ago—how much I needed to hear all of the things you said.”

  I take a deep breath and drink my coffee while all of them are stare intently at me. I feel like I’m under a microscope. God, this is so hard. I just want to grab Daniel and run far away.

  “The more I thought about it, the more I started thinking about all the talks we’ve had about Mike. Mike, these guys would give their lives for you and I’m sure you would do the same for them. You guys are family; you lifted Mike up when he needed love and support. You gave him friendship, love, a home, a job, and a true sense of family. I know better than anyone how important that is to him because I know firsthand how drastically his own was taken from him. There is nothing more important than family. Unfortunately, there is no love story—epic or not, faithful and true—that is worth losing your family for. Above all else, we are all family and we’re all going to be in each other’s lives for the long haul. As hard as this is going to be, it is my decision. I’ve decided that we are all going to be friends and family but that I am not going to date any of you. Sorry, Connor, but that includes our thirty-year pact, too, buddy.”

  Daniel and Mike look crestfallen and try to speak up. Jess and Connor look absolutely floored, but I can see in their eyes they know I’m doing the right thing. I put my hand up in the air, letting them know I’m not finished and a hush falls across the table.

  “Listen, guys, this story isn’t over; there was a development last night and a few new players to add to our game. They are the most integral part of w
hy and how I came to my decision. When I got home, someone was knocking on my door. I was sure it was some reporter trying to jump the media blackout until I looked out the peephole. What I saw was a beautiful, sad girl who looked a little ill. It turns out Vanessa has been trying to find a way to talk to you two.” I point between Daniel and Michael who exchange looks like they actually knew that.

  “Do you two know about this?”

  “My dad thought he saw her driving around. He said she looked funny, maybe sick or something, but he wasn’t positive it was her since she wasn’t up in his face yelling and demanding things.”

  “Yeah, she explained to me how she acted with you two and why. I know I heard it all from you guys before, but let me tell you something, the Snow White I talked to last night is nothing like the Evil Queen you described; she’s changed. Actually, she’s always been sweet; she changed while she was with you and is trying really hard to get her life back to normal.” Daniel is furious.

  “What the hell was she doing here? Doesn’t she have any fucking boundaries whatsoever?” My heart hurts so bad, my eyes fill with tears I can’t push down. I have to get through this with real feelings and emotions.

  “Daniel, please, you’re going to feel differently in a minute.” I tell them all everything Vanessa told me, with emphasis on the mistakes she’s made and how hard she’s working to right her wrongs.

  “I like Vanessa a lot and she’s about to become integral to our inner circle. Everyone here is going to work on their relationship with her, and if you don’t you won’t have any sort of relationship with me.” Oh yeah, I pulled out the blackmail card.

  Mike speaks up, “I don’t understand why she didn’t come and talk to us herself.” I give him a pointed look.

  “Well, I guess she called you for a few months but you never called her back, so that’s why she didn’t reach out to you. As for Daniel, she’s been driving by his house but never catches him home. She’s been driving by both of your offices to see if she can catch you, but she never seems to be there at the right time. Vanessa is sick; she has a severe medical condition and has to avoid stress at all costs. She can’t work, she’s losing her apartment, has no family support, no money, and needs our help.”

  Mike and Daniel both speak up at the same time. “No fucking way! You can’t give us one good reason to help her.”

  I look them both in the eye, my anger boiling to the surface. Yes, my sadness is now turning to anger which is normal, but I’m trying to reel it in. I take a long drink of my coffee and make them sweat it out a bit.

  “I can give you a good reason, but brace yourselves, boys, it’s a doozy. Vanessa has preeclampsia. It’s a potentially life-threatening illness that develops during pregnancy and is dangerous to both mother and child. Congratulations, you two, one of you is about to become a father to a bouncing baby boy.”

  Mike speaks up, “She’s lying! She always lies! There is no way that baby is one of ours; she’s a whore.”

  “Michael Matthews! With the way you’ve acted the past few years, you should be happy you don’t have more than one pregnancy on your hands.”

  I soften my tone because they’re in shock. “Look, I believe her. Just by looking at her I could tell she’s six months along; the timing is perfect. She said she always used condoms with Daniel, but not with Mike. She knows condoms aren’t one hundred percent, so the baby could be either of yours. Chad’s been helping her. She loves him and her heart is broken. Vanessa has deep-seeded issues with her mother’s promiscuity. Although she may have acted differently, besides Chad, you two are the only two men she has ever been with. So here’s what’s going to happen, listen up because this is important. Take today to yell, scream, be angry, and cry—whatever you need to do—because tomorrow you are both Vanessa’s new best friends. If her blood pressure raises even in the slightest it can be catastrophic. Maybe if you had answered her calls you would have known about this sooner. Until she got sick she was willing to do this on her own, but now she can’t. The Doctor won’t do a DNA test because of the stress while she’s pregnant. You two don’t look anything alike, so I’m sure that once the baby comes, waiting for the results will just be a formality.”

  “How can we help her?” Daniel asks sincerely, and my heart breaks a little more because he’s such a good man. I fill them in on everything I discussed with Vanessa; how I’m going to help her and why.

  “Don’t try and talk me out of this. I want to do this and I think it’s best for Vanessa if I help her instead of either of you two. I also think it will be easier for both of you to forge ahead with a true relationship if neither of you are financing her pregnancy. Let’s face it, in no way is it going to hurt my bank account to help her. And if I’m being honest with myself, as much as this is going to hurt me, I also think it’s going to help me heal to see her through the final trimester of her pregnancy.”

  The rest of them understand, but I think Michael just thinks I mean heal in my relationship. “I plan on seeing a lot of Vanessa, and Jess will love her as much as I do already, I’m positive. Your only job is to make her feel welcome and not judged. Get to know the real Vanessa before you pass judgment on her. Once the baby comes, one of you can be sure to pick up your fatherly duties and be the best dad you can be. Don’t let her push you away; she wants help. I asked her if she was looking for a relationship with the father. She said friendship would be great and she wouldn’t rule out a fairy tale ending if it happened that way, but she’s not seeking it.

  “I didn’t come to my decision easily. If I followed my heart I would be with Daniel. I’m sorry if that hurts you, Mike, but it’s the truth; I love him to the depths of my soul. Sadly, this situation is bigger than me and my wants. It encompasses entire families and the fallout isn’t worth the risk. For the next three months, you guys need to build a relationship with Vanessa. At the end of that time, one of you is going to be a dad, and whichever one of you it is, I know you’ll be great at it.” The tears are flowing now and I can’t stop them even if I wanted to. “My relationship with either of you is not going to hinder the progression of a relationship with your child and the mother of your child. I won’t let it; that’s a bond you need to develop and cherish. In six months, if things have changed and you decide between yourselves it’s okay for me to have a relationship with one of you, maybe that’s something we can talk about then. For now, all I can give either of you is friendship. You can take it or leave it.”

  With that being said, I excuse myself and head upstairs to get ready to go see my little girl. In just a few minutes, the most painful part of my life is going to split wide open. I hope I know what I’m doing, and that in the end, family really is more important than love.

  To Be Continued…

  Playlist

  Hit me baby one more time - Britney Spears

  Mama said knock you out - LL Cool J

  Say my name - Destiny’s child

  Dead Man’s Party - Oingo Boingo

  When You Got A Good Thing - Lady Antebellum

  Hotel California - The Eagles

  Kiss Me - Ed Sheeran

  Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

  I Touch Myself - Divinals

  You Got The Right Stuff - New Kids On The Block

  Da Ya Think I'm Sexy - Rod Stewart

  I’m too Sexy - Right Said Fred

  Marry Me - Train

  I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd

  If You Wanna Be My Lover - The Spice Girls

  The Little Things - One Direction

  Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson

  Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift & Ed Sheeran

  Wanted You More - Lady Antebellum

  Hold My Heart - Tenth Ave. North

  So What - Pink

  Numb - Linkin Park

  Girl on Fire - Alicia Keys

  The Sappy Pages AKA Thank You’s

  There are a lot of people who helped me make this book a reality. First and foremost, my husband and
kids, they are my whole world. They inspire me to want to be a better person. My husband, my high school sweetheart, encouraged me to keep going when I said repeatedly, “No one is going to want to read this book”. Even better, he kept me from making a disastrous mistake in picking a pen name. Yes, I write under a pen name; it’s necessary with teenagers in the house. His constant advice was, “Pick a name you won’t flinch while saying when you’re sitting on Oprah’s couch.” Now, I’m under no crazy idea that is where I’ll be, but it is a sobering thought when you’re ready to name yourself something stupid. He kept me filled with coffee and tulips and his undying love for twenty-two years and that’s why he’s mine. They are the three people I love most in this world; they have my entire heart and soul in their hands. I could have never written a word without their love and encouragement.

  MAK- It doesn’t matter how old we get, you will always be the Ethel to my Lucy. You have been my best friend and sister for thirty years and I love you more than words can express. Thank you for being my biggest supporter and for putting your own life on hold to read my book. I love you!