by Hazel Parker
“I’m not the same person I was ten years ago.”
“I don’t buy that. I watched you tonight at the restaurant. I could still see that intelligent, vibrant woman I knew you to be. What could have changed you enough to make you a different person?” he said dismissively, pulling into her driveway and putting the car in park.
“I had a baby. That tends to change a person.” She watched him close, hoping for a glimpse of his reaction.
“You’re married, then?” he asked, his eyes flickering down to her hand.
“No. I’ve never been married.”
“What happened?”
She took a deep breath. “You. You happened. He’s yours.”
She watched as his face masked his earlier emotions, taking on the passive politician she had seen many times before.
“Is that why you left?” he asked, his tone devoid of emotion.
“No. I didn’t find out until after.”
“But you chose not to tell me? Or answer any of my calls?”
“Not after everything that happened. I couldn’t face you, this place. I could barely face myself.”
Mark watched straight out the window, staring at the faded paint of her parents’ garage door. The quiet of the car was doing nothing for her thundering heart, so she reached for the door handle.
“I’m sorry you had to find out this way. But now you know that if you were banking on me to come running back to you, you may want to reconsider that plan.”
Brandy let herself out of the car and walked to the front door. When she let herself in, Mark still hadn’t moved. She watched him out the window until, several minutes later, he started the car and backed out of the driveway.
She turned away from the door and quietly made her way up the stairs to her room. Luca lay tucked into a sleeping bag on the floor beside the bed. Brandy knelt beside him and pushed his hair out of his eyes. She stared at the boy she loved with all her heart. He was more like the father he would never know than she cared to admit. She cared even less to admit that the small reminders of Mark she saw in Luca were some of the things she cherished the most. In the dark, after a long and emotionally straining day, Brandy allowed herself to admit that she was sad neither of them would know that.
*****
The next couple of days flew past in a blur of tulle and taffeta and now that the vows had been exchanged, the pictures taken, and the speeches made, Brandy sat back into her chair and breathed a sigh of relief. If she ever married, she was going to elope.
Over the past couple of days, Brandy kept herself busy by throwing herself into the wedding preparations. While it gained her miles in reconnecting with her sister, it did little to distract her from the conversation with Mark. And as like the days preceding, today had been total organized chaos and she did her best to help things along. By the time Brandy reached the reception venue, she had never been happier to see an open bar.
The room was filled with a sea of smiling faces, all sharing in her sister’s joy. It was a warm Merrill welcome to Natalie’s new husband, complete with all the cheesy wedding reception games and songs. Even though Brandy was soaking up every second of it, when the DJ announced that they would be throwing the bouquet, she took that as her cue to get some fresh air. She wasn’t going anywhere near that one.
Out in the parking lot, Brandy circled the building, breathing in the cool, night air. The sounds of the party could still be heard outside, but there was still a certain sense of tranquility out there. When the crunch of footsteps on gravel interrupted her musing, she was surprised to find it was Mark once again appearing from the shadows.
“If I didn’t know any better, I would say you were a stalker,” she said, too happy to try and sound irritated with him.
“I’m not accustomed to skulking around parking lots, or waiting for anyone. One of the luxuries for a man in my position.”
“So why are you waiting then?” she asked.
“I figured that would be pretty clear. We need to talk about what you told me the other night.” He stepped close to her, blocking the moonlight and casting shadows across his handsome face.
“What good will it do to talk?” she shrugged and diverted her eyes from him.
“Come on, Brandy, not this again. You’re raising my son. You had to know I’d want to talk about this.”
She didn’t. She thought that by telling him, he would want to keep his distance. He had already survived one political scandal; she didn’t think he would want to jump into another. He was crazy enough wanting to rekindle their relationship; he would have to be certifiable to want to jump into this situation.
“Okay, fine.” It was his political funeral. “But not here. I’m pretty sure my family would run after you with pitchforks if they saw you talking to me.”
“Can we go somewhere, then?”
“Not right now. After the party starts winding down. I’ll stop by your place; it might be late though.”
“That’s fine,” he said, relieved. “Thanks Brandy.”
She headed back into the party with the unmistakable feeling of excitement. She didn’t want to be excited to talk to Mark. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to give him the facts and leave. Except she couldn’t hide the smile that tugged on her lips. She would need to work on that.
*****
As much as she tried to stay focused on the wedding shenanigans, Brandy couldn’t temper the anticipation she was feeling. At the first signs of a yawn from Luca, she pulled him along behind her, declaring it was time to head home. He didn’t argue, which was a pretty good sign that the activity of the past few days was catching up with him.
As they made their rounds to say goodbye, her mom caught up with them.
“I think I’ll catch a ride home with you, if you don’t mind. Things are going to start heading downhill around here and I don’t want to be around when they do. You know how your father gets,” she said with a wry smile.
“Of course, mom.”
The three of them made their way to the car. Brandy surveyed the parking lot for signs of Mark, but she couldn’t see him or his car. She let out a breath and they piled in. The reception venue wasn’t far from the house and in no time, they were back home.
Upstairs, Brandy tucked Luca into bed. His hooded eyes could barely stay open.
“Tonight was great mom.”
“You had fun?”
“Oh yeah. Our family is awesome. We should come here more often.”
“You’re right, buddy. Sleep tight.”
Brandy kissed his forehead and closed the door behind her. She heard her mom still up downstairs and she made her way down. She found her mom sitting at the kitchen table, phone to her ear.
“Yes, dear, I love you too.” She put the phone down and rolled her eyes. “You would think your father is too old to drunk dial me, but apparently not.”
Brandy laughed out loud at the thought. Her parents had a great relationship, even after all the years they had been married. She envied them.
“Can I get you anything, honey?”
“No, thanks, mom. It’s just that I made plans to stop in to see a friend tonight. I was wondering if I could slip out for a bit? Unless you plan on going back later to pick dad up.”
“Oh no. Natalie hired a car service to drive people home afterwards. I’ll be here if Luca needs anything.” She studied Brandy for a moment. “What friend are you going to see at this hour? I didn’t think you kept in touch with anyone anymore.”
Brandy knew that trying to hide the truth wouldn’t work with her mom. “I ran into Mark the other night after the rehearsal dinner, then he showed up again tonight. He wants to talk.”
Her mom didn’t say anything right away. Instead, she picked at the lint on her skirt. After a moment, she turned her eyes up to Brandy’s.
“Do you think that’s a good idea?”
“No. I don’t. But he seemed so persistent that it felt useless to keep putting it off.” She sighed and sat across
from her mom. “I told him about Luca.”
“Ah. That explains it. He wants to know about his son. That’s only natural.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready for that.”
“It seems as though you don’t have a choice. He’s a good man; I don’t think for a second that he would try to hurt Luca. Or you, either.”
Brandy raised her eyebrows in surprise. “I thought you didn’t like Mark.”
“The situation the two of you got into was inappropriate, but I never hated Mark. He was a good person in a bad situation. I don’t like that he wasn’t responsible enough to see that bringing you into it was a terrible decision, but we’ve all moved on. In fact, I still vote for him.”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this.” She shook her head.
“I’m surprised you didn’t realize long ago that eventually Mark would become part of your life again. Family is a powerful thing. You can’t keep a boy from his father forever. Or vice versa. Go talk to Mark. Just remember to listen to your own voice inside you and not let your anger cloud your judgement. You have to create boundaries that will fit your life as well as his.”
“Thanks, mom,” she said, rising and coming around to give her mother a kiss on the cheek. Her mom pulled her into a hug.
“You’re a smart, beautiful adult now, and I’m very proud of you. Don’t let the past haunt you forever.” Brandy hugged her mom back, tears in her eyes, then turned and headed back out to her car.
*****
A short drive later, armed with her mother’s words in her head, Brandy walked up Mark’s driveway. The windows were mostly dark, save for a light coming from near the back of the house and Brandy knew he was still up waiting for her.
Steeling her nerves, she rang the bell and waited. When Mark answered the door, she kept her eyes trained on his face instead of running them over his body like she wanted to do. Mark smiled at her and stepped back, letting her pass through the door before he pulled it closed.
“Thanks for coming. This way,” he said, leading the way through to the living room and taking a seat in a well-worn, leather chair. Brandy chose its match across from him, separated by a small table. “Can I get you a drink?”
“No. I think its best we just get on with it.”
“Very well. Why don’t we start with why you left so suddenly?”
“I thought we were here to talk about Luca.”
“Luca,” he said, letting the name play on his tongue. “Like my middle name. Like my dad’s name.”
She shrugged. “It’s a nice name.”
“So he’s, what? Ten?”
“Almost. His birthday is next month.”
“Shit,” he said, raking his hand through his hair. “I’ve missed so much of his life. I should have tried harder to track you down after you left. I guess I always thought you would come back after things died down here.”
“I had no intention of facing everyone again. When I left, I left for good.”
“You never thought that I would like to meet him? That he would like to meet me?”
“No. I didn’t want him to share the guilt I have over how he came to be. He’s a happy kid. A good kid. I want him to hold his head high and be proud of who he is.”
“So you hate me?”
She played with the hem of her dress and admitted what she never intended to. “No. I’ve tried to hate you, Mark, but I don’t. I hate what we did, but not you.”
“I don’t hate what we did. It may not have been right, but the time we shared together was genuine. At the time, it was the only thing that felt real in my life and I would never take it back.”
“It felt real to me too, but I just can’t believe that something started on such a dishonorable premise could work.”
“I’m not the kind of guy who minces words, Brandy. I still want you and I think this can work if only you gave us another shot.”
Brandy stood and paced the room, coming to stand in front of a window looking into the darkened backyard. She needed time to figure out what she wanted. What Mark was talking about was something she had never considered. Ten years ago, she would have been elated to hear that he wanted to make a real go of their relationship, but so much time had passed that she didn’t know anymore. Her mother’s words rang out in her head. Listen to her voice inside. Don’t let anger affect her judgement. She was trying hard to listen to what her heart was saying, but her thoughts were too jumbled to make any sense out of it.
In the reflection of the glass, she saw Mark approach her. He stood behind her, not close enough to touch her, but enough that she could feel the heat of his body.
“I don’t have all the answers. All I know is when I close my eyes at night, all I can think about is you. You’re in my head all the time. After all this time, that has to mean something. When I saw you walk into the restaurant the other night, I had to keep myself from rushing to you. And I know you think it was all about sex, but it wasn’t. It was the fact that I felt free enough with you to act like myself when I had to put on an act around everybody else.
“It’s the way you hooked me the moment I met you. You had such a light, vibrant personality. I tried to be strong, but I couldn’t help falling for you. I love you.” Mark’s fingers started a slow trail up her arms, tingling the sensitive skin there. She shivered against his touch. Against his words. “And now you came back. And I have a son. We have a child together, a connection to each other that can never be broken.”
Mark’s body shifted closer, his chest brushing against her back. Brandy tried to fight for her strength, but the feel of him so close to her, his scent triggering dozens of memories that she kept hidden away, her resolve crumbled. Her heart began to pound in her ears. It was so loud, she was sure he could hear it too. She was terrified, afraid that her body would reveal the truth that she couldn’t admit out loud.
Mark’s breath was on the back of her neck, sending tingles down her spine. His lips brushed over the exposed skin between her neck and shoulder, her body firing at the sensation. As his teeth grazed the spot, Brandy moved back into him. His arms encircled her, pulling her closer to him. She could feel her ass nestling into his growing erection; her body responded in kind and she could feel the wetness pooling between her legs.
His hands found their way to her hips and he turned her around to him. “I need to see you.”
Brandy reached a hesitant hand to his cheek, feeling his stubble. She brought her face closer to his and his lips began to caress her own, delicate, tender. As much as she wanted to deny the truth in what she was feeling, his arms felt too good wrapped around her, so that she was quickly losing the strength to deny him anymore. She ran her hands up and threaded her fingers through his hair, deepening the connection and committing to memory the way he tasted, the way he felt under her hands.
And then he broke their kiss and stared down at her. She could see his chest rising and falling, could hear his labored breathing. He was hesitating, holding back, and she knew it had everything to do with her reservations. Mark Hudson may have been a lot of things, but he had never taken advantage of her. What happened from there was all up to her.
She gathered her breath and laid her head against the strong beating of his heart. “Make love to me, Mark. I want to feel what it’s like being loved by you, and not just be the other woman.”
His hand came under her chin and tilted her head back. His lips pressed to hers, soft, supple. His hands slid down her body and under her ass, lifting her to his waist. Brandy wrapped her legs around him, linking her arms behind his neck. As he turned and carried them down the hall, she leaned forward and rested her forehead on his. Her eyes never left his as he turned into his room and gently laid her onto the bed.
Mark made quick work of removing his clothes before he crawled onto the bed, laying on his side next to her. The back of his hand caressed her cheek and down her neck. She shivered under his touch and he leaned in and kissed her lips as his hand continued its journey down her shoulde
r and to the curve of her breast. His knuckles brushed over one of the hardened peaks. Brandy inhaled a breath around his kisses, arching her back into his touch. The thin material of her dress did little to damper the feeling of his hands on her.
His right thigh covered her own and nudged her legs apart. It one, swift move, he angled his body above hers, breaking their kiss. His eyes drank in her body, his hands pushing the hem of her dress up. She raised her hips and let him pull her dress up her body and over her head. Brandy watched as Mark’s hands explored her nearly naked body, clad only in a scrap of ever-dampening silk, until they were on her breasts again. His head dipped and he captured one of her pert nipples between his lips. He swirled his tongue around the sensitive bud until she could no longer hold back a moan of pleasure, ripples radiating through her body and culminating at her core.