by Brook Greene
“I know.” And I do. I know the process all too well. “I’ve done this a time or two before.” His eyes turn dark as he turns, leaning into me.
“And this will be the last time.” His voice a deep whisper as he runs his index finger down the side of my face. “I promise. No man will ever touch you again in anger. I will be the only man who touches you, ever, and it will only be to worship you.” His soft touch caresses my skin before it’s gone. “I’ll step out.” He stands and turns to walk away from my bed.
I reach out for him, frantic. “No, Matthew.”
He turns back to me. “Baby, I don’t need to be in here for this. I already want to kill somebody. Adding fuel to the fire isn’t good for any of us.” He throws his eyes over to the cops to see their reaction to his comment, which doesn’t even seem to faze them.
He leans in kissing me. “I’ll be right outside.” I watch the door close behind him, then look to the officers standing at the foot of my bed.
I lay back, rubbing my temples, hoping to ease the thumping in my head and begin. “His name is Jake Lennox.” Both officers’ heads jerk up at the name.
“As in, Reginald Lennox’s son?” One officer asks with a hint of doubt in his tone.
I nod to him with a slight smile on my face. “That’s the one, and if you’ve done your background checks, you know he’s my estranged husband and this isn’t the first time he’s done this.” I recount the events of the day, the ones I can remember, to them. They stay silent as I speak, writing the details down in little notebooks. It’s eerie to me how at ease I am with telling them what happened, just like I’m telling them about my day at work.
They ask very few questions, but the one that scares me is if I know where Jake is now. I shake my head no, and I feel a shiver run up my spine. I know Matthew had told me he would never lay a hand on me again, and I want to believe him, but he has no idea what kind of man Jake is.
Jake runs in certain circles with men who kill for a living, who have very little regard for a human life. I’m amazed I’ve stayed alive for as long as I have. And I know that Jake’s visit yesterday will not be his last, but next time, he might hurt Matthew or someone in his family.
The officers wrap up with me, then leave the room to talk to Matthew. I lay in the now silent room, my head hurting so bad my ears are ringing. I press the call button, summoning a nurse. When she walks in, she smiles at me. “Everything okay, sweetie?”
“My head is busting. Can I have something for the pain, please?” I ask her.
She pats my arm. “Sure thing. Be right back.” She turns and walks out of the room, and when she returns, Matthew follows her in. She gives me the pills and hands me a cup of water as Matthew lowers himself in the chair beside the bed where he had been earlier. Even after his nap, he still looks tired. “Hey, why don’t you go home and get a good night’s sleep? I’ll be fine here,” I tell him.
He shakes his head. “No, babe, I’m staying here with you,” he says, trying to stifle a yawn.
“Matthew, go home,” I urge him, trying to tear my eyes away from his, feeling the hint of embarrassment hit me as he looks over my battered face.
“I’m fucking staying Tessa,” he says, as he stands stretching his big arms over his head. He crosses the room, cutting the overhead light, throwing the room into shadows, then comes back to the bed. “Scoot.” He tells me with a nod of his head and I comply and move over. He kicks off his boots, then lays down beside me.
He gently pulls me to him, and I bury my nose in his neck. The room is dimly lit by the light hanging over the bed. I look up to his face to see he’s closed his eyes. “Get some rest, Tessa. We both need it.” His voice is soft, and there’s no bite to his words. I can feel as the pain meds I’ve just taken begin to ease my head and pull me towards sleep, but I fight it and look up at him for as long as I can, taking in his strong, handsome features.
Why does something that I’ve only had for six days seem like it’s been around forever? After Jake, I never thought I would let a man back in, but Matthew has completely caught me off guard. He begins to snore softly and I smile at the sound, no longer able to fight off the effects of the meds. I slip under the veil and sleep.
~~~~~~
I wake to hear the shower running in the bathroom. Blinking my eyes a few times, I wince at the pain before prying them open. He walks out in nothing but his jeans, running a towel over his head. He stops when he sees me. “You feeling okay this morning?” His hazel eyes roam over my face.
I push myself up and lay my hand on my nose that’s covered with a gross white gauze bandage. “As good as could be expected, I guess.” He smiles at me, coming over to the bed. He lowers himself, reaching up to smooth his thumb over my cheek.
He takes me in for a long minute, then leans in, placing a soft kiss against my lips. “It won’t ever happen again, Tessa. I promise.”
I wrap my fingers around his wrist, holding his hand to me. “I know, Matthew.” His eyes are sad and sincere at the same time, and his beautiful face is pinched with regret. “You didn’t cause this.”
“But I should’ve been here for you, and with you.” He turns his face away, but I take it in my hands and turn it back to mine.
“You didn’t know, and I’ll be damned if I let you take the blame for this. He did this to me, like he’s done so many times before I even knew you.” I choke back a sob. “So you listen to me. Don’t give me your fucking pity ’cause I don’t want it.” He tries to pull away from me, but I pull him back. “Don’t let him ruin this for us, Matthew.”
“I’m not. It’s just…” He backs away from me, then runs his fingers through his hair. “Fuck.” He turns back to me, and the pain and confusion in his eyes scare me.
I move to the side of the bed, placing my feet on the floor, ready to go to him, but he stops me. “Don’t, baby.” He holds his hand up, stopping me, and sits in the chair beside the bed.
He takes my hands in his and sighs. “I need to tell you some things.” I lean my forehead into him and lay it on the top of his head. His hair is still wet from his shower, and smells like the generic shampoo the hospital stocks.
“You can tell me anything,” I whisper.
~~~~~~
Matty
She says that now, but we’ll see how she feels after she hears what I have to say. “The past three days…” I start, looking up at her.
“Yes?” Her big green eyes, even bruised, hold such an innocence I haven’t seen in years looking back at me.
“I had to go see about getting full custody of my son.” I look up at her, holding my breath. She says nothing, just looks at me in a slight state of shock.
“Your son?” she asks, her tone going up an octave.
“Yes, he’s three.” I lay her hands on her lap, but she takes my hands back in hers, giving them a slight squeeze. The soft confidence of this woman and how she handles the most fucked up situations astonishes me. Most women in her place would be freaking the fuck out—crying, trying their best to make sure all the attention in a five-mile radius is on her, and solely hers to own.
“Where is he now?” Her voice is now laced with empathy.
“With Emily and Cowboy.” I feel like such a shit father for bringing him back with me, then dumping him off on my friends to take care of Tessa, the very thing I told myself I couldn’t do, but had done anyway.
“Um.” She presses her lips into a flat line. “So they have known about him?”
I shake my head. “No. They just met him yesterday, before I came over to your house.” I duck my head, no longer able to look into her eyes, afraid of what I might see there.
“So, he’s a very trusting three-year-old?” she asks, raising her eyebrows with the question I’ve asked myself many times before.
I nod, unable to believe the little boy trusts anybody, including me. “He shouldn’t be, but yeah, I guess he is.” I study our hands, her delicate ones tangled with my hard ones. Her soft milky skin against m
y weathered tanned skin that has seen more miles than a man my age should.
I look up into her sympathetic eyes, and can’t take her looking at me the way she is, so I stand and turn from her, beginning to pace the floor. I feel anxious, pissed off, and confused, all at the same time, and unable to get my feelings in order or under control. My heart’s racing because not being able to read what she’s thinking just reminds me of how little we know about each other, and the events of the past three days are full of evidence of how we’re simply just strangers. At least, I am to her. I know more about her than she knows about me.
She sighs, rubbing the back of her neck as she watches me pace. I stop in front of her, resting my hands on my hips. “God, say something, Tessa. Any fucking thing.”
She laces her fingers together with her elbows resting on her knees. “His mother?”
“She’s been out of the picture for years and is completely gone now.” I run my hands through my hair before dropping them down to my sides.
“Were you married to her?” she asks, fishing for details that I really don’t want to give, but I know I need to.
“No. She was my girlfriend, but I married another woman,” I tell her, practically mumbling the answer.
“Wow…okay...” She worries her lip with her teeth, rubbing her temples. She looks up and raises her eyebrows at me.
“I got her pregnant when I was engaged to Clarissa, and married Clarissa anyway, knowing I had a kid on the way with another woman.” I slump into the chair in front of her. “Clarissa left me when Rachel showed up on our doorstep wanting money. I know how this looks, and I will completely understand if you want me to walk out of your life. I can make arrangements for a place for you to stay, somewhere safe, and have daily protection.” I feel my shoulders slump in defeat and utter shame for the things I’ve done in my past. A past I was living only a week ago.
She leans into me, slightly wincing from the pain coursing through her body, and lays her hands on my knees. I cover them with mine, taking in the last time she may possibly ever touch me.
She stands, a bit labored, using my knees to push herself up, then climbs onto my lap. She brushes her fingers through my hair, letting her green eyes take me in. I snake my arms around her waist, taking care not to hug her too hard.
“What if I want you to be the one who keeps me safe? What if I told you I think it’s wonderful you have a son, and that I’m the one worried you shouldn’t be wanting me in your life?” As she speaks, her voice gets softer, to the point the words are almost a whisper.
“And what would make you think I wouldn’t want you in my life?”
She makes a circular motion around her face. “Um, hello?”
I reach up, taking her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “I don’t give a shit about this or him. Like I told you, he’s done doing this.”
“But I’m still married to him.” She sounds so defeated.
“Not for long.” I stop right there, not wanting her to know just how much I do know about her legal problems. I already have my father working on getting her divorce finalized. I’d emailed her papers to Dad on Monday from the office, along with every picture of how Jake had beaten her, along with the restraining order.
“He’ll never let me have the divorce, Matthew.” She says shaking her head, and for the first time, I see a hint of defeat in her eyes.
“Let me worry about that.” I lean in gently, touching her lips with mine. “He’s my problem now.”
“Do I want to know what that means?” I feel her warm breath rush over my skin.
“No.” I smile and kiss her again. The nurse coming through the door pulls us from our moment. I help her back into bed under the scrutinizing eyes of the nurse who’s standing at the foot of the bed with her arms crossed over her chest.
She cuts her eyes to me, and I look at Tessa and point to the door. “I’ll just be outside.” I grab my shirt off the back of the chair as I shove my feet into my boots. Walking backward towards the door, I give Tessa a little wave before turning and exiting the room.
When the door closes behind me, I pull my shirt over my head and fish out my phone to dial Emily. I walk down the hall in search of the cafeteria for some much-needed caffeine.
“Hello?” she answers, still a little groggy.
“Hey, babe, how’s my boy?” I ask her, passing by the nurses rushing around from patient to patient, and doctors standing around studying clipboards.
“He’s good,” she says through a yawn.
“I didn’t mean to wake you up, but I wanted to let you know Tessa should be out of here in an hour or two, then we’ll be over.” I stretch my neck from one side to the other, trying my best to work out the kinks wracking my body. I’m getting too fucking old for this shit. It’s time for me to settle down and act my age, like the other boys have done. Although I’ve avoided it like the plague, it seems to have worked for them. Hell, Eno was even talking about knocking Josie up a couple of days ago, like he was talking about the weather.
I follow the signs and walk through the door and into the busy room. Spotting the coffee pot, I cross over to it and inhale the lifesaving aroma coming from the still brewing machine.
“Okay, sounds good. Cal’s making them pancakes and hanging out with me and Caden today, so whenever is fine.” The women I have in my life are amazing. I couldn’t imagine or think of what I would do without them, and even more now. I’m sure they’ll do anything they can to help me with Jackson.
“Thank you. I’ll have to get you a spa day or something,” I offer.
“Ohhh,” she sighs seductively. “Don’t tease me, Matty Boy.”
“What the hell?” I hear Cowboy in the background, and Emily giggles. “Tell him I’ll cut his nuts off if he’s flirting with you,” he says with a laugh.
Her laugh tinkles through the phone, and for the first time since I saw Jackson, I smile. “It’s not necessary, Matty. I’ll keep that little cuddle bug anytime.” The sound on the phone muffles, then I hear Emily say, “Say hello to Daddy. Go ahead.”
“Hey, Daddy.” His little voice comes through the speaker, melting my heart and gripping me with guilt.
“Hey, little man. Have you been having fun with Aunt Emily and Uncle Cal?” I nudge the toe of my boot against the tiled floor.
“Taden is fun,” he says. “And Untel Tal is big,” he whispers. I hear Emily snicker in the background, and Caden hollering for him. And just like that, he’s gone without telling me bye.
“Hey,” Emily says, still laughing a little.
“Wanna tell me what all that was about?” I ask, unable to keep the smile off my face at the sound of her laughter.
“Cal was throwing him up in the air, and he threw up everywhere.” Her laughter is more intense.
“Yup, little shithead,” I hear Cowboy yell.
I bellow a laugh, picturing Cowboy’s bald head covered in vomit. “That’s my boy. I’ll call you in a little while.”
“Okay,” she giggles, ending the call.
I select Eno’s number next. “Hey, man,” he answers.
“Hey.” I smile at a nurse who’s standing a bit too close to me. I move away, letting her get her coffee first. “How’s it going?”
“We’ve got eyes on his house, but of course he’s not there so Beeker’s sitting on it. How’s Tessa doing?”
“She’s good, getting out in a little bit,” I tell him filling a cup of coffee then place a lid on it. “Hey, you got a picture or anything of that fucker?”
“I’ve got a copy of his mugshot from the last time he beat the shit out of Tessa and was arrested.” My anger begins to boil up in my gut.
“Bring it by the house in a little bit, will ya?” I hand over a few bills to the cashier for the coffee. “Thank you,” I tell her
“For what? Did you get hit in the fucking head? You never say thank you. You’re just as bad as my dickhead older brother.”
“Not you, dumbass, the lady at the cash re
gister. I just bought some coffee.” Eno and I have been the closest of friends for years, but sometimes, he’s an idiot.
“Oh. You had me a little worried,” he says with a snort. “Anyway, I’ll bring it over. You taking Tessa home with you?”
“Yes,” I answer emphatically.
“Does she know about Jackson?” he asks, a little hesitant.
“Yes, I told her this morning.” I stop outside her still closed door.
“And?” he asks, dragging out the N in dramatic fashion.
“And what, asshole? She’s fine with it.”
“No shit, man. Really? Wow, she’s a keeper,” he says, sounding surprised and it pisses me off, but I do have to say, her reaction had taken me off guard too.
“Yeah, she is,” I say, just as the door to Tessa’s room opens and the doctor leads the nurse out. The doctor and I exchange a look before I turn to see Tessa staring at me. I smile, and she returns it, looking just as beautiful as the day we met, despite the bruises and cuts marring her gorgeous face. “I’ll call you when we get home,” I tell him before ending the call. I walk into the room, closing the door behind me. “We good to go?”
Chapter Twenty-One
Tessa
Matthew is standing right outside when the door opens, smiling at me, and I force a smile back. Avery had informed the emergency room doctor and nurses that I might be pregnant, but it’s still too soon to tell. I have at least four to five more days before I can take a blood test to find out. I’m consumed with worry that after the trauma I’ve suffered, it might have put an end to the pregnancy before it even started. But I’m not bleeding, and the nurse assures me that it’s a good sign.
He catches onto my worry and lays his hand on my arm. “Everything okay?” His brow furrows with concern.