by Brook Greene
Her chest is heaving from the exertion of her angry rant. No one fights her accusations or name calling because she’s an outsider to all this, and nobody blames her for the way she feels, at least I don’t. I walk over to her, trying to take her in my arms, but before I can catch her, she slaps me right across the face. “And you! You’re the biggest asshole of them all. Making me believe you’re a good man when in fact you’re a fucking lunatic with your fake DEA vests and toy guns.”
I level my eyes at her, fire burning in my belly. One thing I never could stand was to be slapped. I turn to the others. “Take them out of here and leave us, please.” Avery shrinks away from me and goes to Leo, who leads her and the rest out of the clubhouse and back into the back yard, closing the door behind them.
I would never lay a hand on her, but what’s going on between us is between us. She’s showing no fear, so she knows that much about me.
“First of all,” I say, unlocking the cabinet again and taking out my vest and gun, holding them up to her. “This shit isn’t fucking fake, and I’m a real ass DEA Special Agent that works undercover to bust drug traffickers and cartels.” I start for the door. “Follow me, now.” Much to her credit, she does as I tell her, even after her display of defiance. I step out into the afternoon sun and cross the lot to the security office, going around to the back where we have our targets set up for practice. I drop my vest at my feet. Bringing up the gun, I aim it before looking over my shoulder to make sure she’s with me before I prove to her this isn’t a toy gun.
I unload the entire clip into the hay bales across the yard from me, then turn to her, ejecting the clip into my hand. “One more thing,” I say, never raising my voice to her, but I’m fighting to keep it even. I cross the lot to my bike with her close on my heels. Digging around in the saddle bag, I produce my badge and toss it to her. “Believe me now?” I ask as she fumbles with the heavy metal badge in her hand.
She tosses it back to me with a sardonic look on her face. “Okay, so yes, it’s all real, and too fucking much for me.” She looks around the lot and her eyes land on her car parked beside the garage. “Can I have my damned keys so I can get out of this crazy ass mess and away from you?”
I never thought I would say this, but being with her right now isn’t something I want to do, so giving her back the keys to the car and letting her go and calm down too is the best thing.
“Fine,” I say as I start for the garage.
~~~~~~
Tessa
I’m on information overload. My bullshit meter is broken, and I can’t take another excuse or I’m going to take the gun Matthew has tucked in the back of his blue jeans and blow my brains the fuck out. I’m done with this, with him, and the whole fucked up situation, along with all the people that go with it.
I’d felt honored when Matthew had brought me to lunch just seven days ago, but now I realize they’re all fucked in the head.
I sling myself into my car. “I’ll send you the money for the repairs or whatever,” I call out before slamming the door on his response. When I start the old car, it purrs to life like it’s only days old. I feel a pang of regret, but look in the rearview mirror at the man who had me believing he was someone other than who he is. The worst is that it had only taken me one day to give my shit up and spread my legs for him, and that’s what pisses me off more than anything. And that’s all on me. I needed what he was offering—the attention, lavish affection, and multiple gratifications of the orgasmic kind.
But now I’m done. I have enough drama in my life with Jake.
I see a young blond man is on his bike behind me, ready to follow me. I roll the window down and yell, “Keep him here. I don’t need you to watch over me. I’m done with you and this shit.” I shake my head, knowing that I have the shittiest taste in men.
The way he’d broken down all my defenses and walls I had constructed around me and my heart has my head spinning, and now I have to start the journey again, but this time, it’s way worse. Matthew was everything I wanted in a man. He was the perfect package, I thought. At least he led me to believe he was.
This revelation just makes me wonder what else he’s hiding.
~~~~~~
Matt
Beeker stops and turns to me when I call him back. I shove my hands into my pockets as I watch her go. My brothers had fucked up, but not like this. Jake isn’t a threat to her at the moment, and that’s one of the many reasons I let her go.
“That was fucked up. How’s that pretty face of yours?” Eno comes up beside me lighting a smoke.
I take the smoke he offers me and light it up. “It’s fine,” I say flatly, still staring after the car that just left through the gate.
I feel his big hand land on my shoulder, and I don’t give it the effort of shrugging it off. “Don’t worry, man, she’ll come around. They always do.”
“Not that one, she’s different.” I take a drag from the smoke I’m holding between my fingers. “She’s got enough fucked up shit in her life and doesn’t need me adding to it.” I say the words and feel every ounce of regret they carry with them. I hadn’t kept my word from the first night we were together. I’d made the promise, knowing I was holding shit back from her then, but I did it anyways.
Needing a stiff drink, I throw the smoke down and ground out the fire with the toe of my boot and turn to Eno. “Let’s go get a drink, then pay an old friend a visit. I feel like kicking the shit out of something,” I say as I brush past him, heading for the door.
When I enter the clubhouse, the low murmurs stop and everyone turns to look at me. I stop and hold out my arms to either side of my body in surrender, but I say nothing.
Avery crosses over to me, her face twisted with regret. “Matt, I’m so sorry. I was just trying to help.” She looks up at me through her lashes as she snakes her arms around my waist.
I gather her into my arms and kiss the top of her head. “I know. Thank you for trying. But I really don’t think any of us could’ve said anything that would’ve made her change her mind.” Leo clears his throat and I flip him off, but don’t let Avery go.
“The GPS is working on her car. It looks like she’s headed to her mom’s house,” Dalton says, looking down at his phone.
“I hate to say it, but this little tiff gets her out of our hair for the shit we have to do the next couple of days,” Roman drawls as he pours me a drink. Everyone grumbles their agreement.
I eye him over the glass, not particularly happy about his choice of words. “It’s true, but you could have worded it differently,” I inform him before taking a sip of the whiskey.
~~~~~~
Tessa
I pull through the gate with tears in my eyes. I don’t want to leave him, but I have to. He lied, omitted. It’s all relative, but still, I can’t live that life anymore. I refuse to.
I turn onto the interstate and head towards my mother, my safe haven. The one constant in my life who’s always grounded me.
My chest actually hurts. In seven days, he’d burrowed his way into my heart. Why hadn’t he told me what he really was? I wouldn’t have given a shit or told anybody if he was worrying about protecting his cover. I’ve kept bigger secrets than that.
I hate him for not telling me and ruining the best thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. He’s the man for me. I still believe that, but not this way.
I cry until there are no more tears for him, for me, for us, and this pity party carries me all the way to my mothers. I turn down the familiar street and park in the driveway and sit in the car, collecting myself before I go in, but the door opens slightly and my mother steps out, prompting me to exit my car.
“Tessa?” My mother asks as she covers her eyes, peering into the dark.
“Yeah, Mom, it’s me,” I assure her, slamming the car door. I make my way up the walk, empty handed, having left all my things at Matthews’s house. Not that I have that much shit anyways.
She steps to the side, letting me enter the
house, then looks behind me before shutting the door. “Where’s Matthew?” she asks, looking a little confused.
I recount the whole story to her over several cups of coffee, feeling a little foolish for my actions over something so minor. Now that I’ve said it all out loud, I realize I was an idiot, but I’ve lived with a man who had more secrets than hairs on his head, and I can’t do it anymore.
My mother sits silently through the whole thing, not saying a word, but nodding to me every once in a while to let me know she’s still engaged in the conversation.
When I finish the story, she tilts her head to the side, studying me. I bring my coffee mug to my lips and blow across the surface to cool the liquid, waiting for my mother to give me sage advice and agree that I’d done the right thing by leaving him.
She clears her throat and leans forward, setting her mug on the table between us before she stands to come sit beside me. She lifts her gentle hand to caress my fading bruises. Her eyes are soft and knowing as she smiles at me. “Tessa, darling, there was a reason I bid on him for you.”
~~~~~~
Matt
I stand in the middle of my bedroom, the house eerily silent with her absence. I reach for the tee she’d been wearing the previous night and hold it to my nose, taking in the scent of vanilla that still ghosts over the fabric. I refuse to believe that it’s over just as quickly as it had begun. I’m giving her space to calm down, but she will be back in my home and in my bed again, soon.
My eyes catch on the clock sitting on the bedside table, and I heave a heavy sigh. I don’t have time to wade through my regret. I have shit to do, for her, but it’s worth it. She’s more than worth it.
I pack a bag and head out to my truck.
~~~~~~
Tessa
I lay on my bed, the one I’ve had since high school, my face buried in a pillow that catches my tears. A gentle knock at the door has me wiping at my cheeks. “Come in.” I push myself up to a sitting position, hugging my knees to my chest as I watch my mother walk in, holding a mug in each hand.
“Are you still upset with me?” She stops at the foot of my bed with a gentle smile on her face.
“No, but I hate the world right now,” I huff. “I must have been a raging bitch in a past life and now karma is ass fucking me without lube.” I watch my mother wince at my use of language, but it’s the best way to describe how I’m feeling right now. She lowers her small frame to the edge of my bed and lays her hand on my knee.
“Oh, honey.” She sighs, patting my leg.
“Go ahead, say it. I handled this all wrong. I showed my ass at the clubhouse and treated people who’ve been nothing but nice to me like shit.” I lower myself back down to the pillow. “And slapped the piss out of a man who’s taken wonderful care of me.” I close my eyes and pound the pillow with my closed fist. “I ruined it, all of it…everything.”
“No, sweetie, I don’t think you did.” She looks at me with a knowing smile, but I shove back the hope and just groan.
“No, Mom, I have. He’s a confessed playboy. I’m a dime a dozen, and I’m pretty sure he’s already moved on, just like that.” I snap my fingers, the loud crack echoing through my room. “I can’t really blame him if he has. Look at the shit I’ve dragged into his life. He has enough to deal with.” I think back over the short week we’ve been together, and it’s been nothing but extreme highs and rock-bottom lows.
“Tessa,” she chastises, “if love was easy, everybody would be doing it.” I scowl at her for using the word ‘love’ and following it with the trite cliché.
“We’re not, nor were we ever, in love.” I say the last two words with a bit of sarcasm. She levels her eyes at me, her expression laced with a hint of skepticism. I shake my head in vigorous protest and hold my hand up to stop anything she’s going to say. “No, Mom, don’t go reading anything into this. We had a great time. He saved my ass then lied to me, so no.”
“Don’t try to lie to me, Tessa Marie Kelly.” She stands. “I’ve never seen you this upset over a boy.”
“Well, I do have feelings for him, but he doesn’t see me as anything more than a hole to fuck.” I slap my hand over my mouth, taking in the shocked look on my mother’s scandalized face.
It’s not that she never knew I was having sex, or that I do it now, it’s just you never rub your sex life in your mother’s face. “Sorry, Mom, that came out wrong.”
She takes in a deep breath to still herself from the information I’ve just given her. “Although, I’m not overly fond of your choice of words, I can assure you that isn’t how he sees you.”
I tilt my head and furrow my brows in question. “What? How would you know that?” I swing my legs over the side of the bed, getting ready to stand when she turns to me with a knowing smile on her face.
“If you will remember, my dear daughter, I sat with him as he held you while you were in the hospital.” She taps her lips with her finger, like she’s thinking, but then she smiles. “No man who sees you as a hole to fuck would spend that much time with a woman he’s nowhere near interested in.” I cringe hearing my mother repeat my words, and she’s right. They do sound awful.
She goes to the door. “Mom,” I say, stopping her just outside the door.
“Yes?”
“How did you know who Matthew was?” I look up in awe of what a wonderful woman my mother truly is.
She rolls her lips between her teeth, fighting a smile when she regains her composure. “I had a drink with a nice man in a bar.” She turns on her heel and walks out of my room, leaving me wondering and stunned.
Chapter Thirty
Matt
I follow Leo through the door and into the small house we keep for shit that has to be done off the grid, and it had only been a few days since I’d been here for very much the same thing. A sick feeling comes over me for a brief moment, but then her face comes to mind and I feel the anger burn that feeling away.
Cruz Lloyd stands from the ratty couch, offering me his hand. “Hey, man.”
I take it, giving it a shake. “Hey.” I step to the side so the others can give their greetings.
“You really doing this for a woman who slapped the piss out of you today?” Oz asks as he comes to stand beside me.
I rub the back of my neck, feeling uncomfortable. “Crazy, right?” I scoff.
“You bunch of dumbasses getting all pussy whipped and shit.” Dex laughs, smacking me on the back. I notice he looks healthier than he had the last time I’d seen him—cleaned up and straight.
Leo takes Oz’s hand. “You ought to try it sometime.”
“Nah, man, not for me,” Oz replies.
“He downstairs?” Roman asks, tilting his head in the direction of the kitchen, just as Shane Moses walks through the door, shaking his head with a disgusted sigh.
“Damn,” he says as he shakes all of our hands. “I thought Leo had an overinflated ego, but Mr. Sunshine down there takes the cake.” He finishes with a smile at Leo, who flips him off.
“He’s a real piece of work, that’s for damn sure. The fuckface spit on me.” Oz grimaces. “Disgusting little prick.” He purses his lips and looks at me. “He might have a little bit of damage done to his face. Not much though,” he admits with a sardonic smile and a hint of humor.
I hand the folder I’d been gripping in my hand over to Mose, who lays it on the small dining table and begins to flip through the photos of Tessa. His reaction is like that of any other normal man. He flexes his hands into fists before relaxing them.
He looks up at me with murder in his eyes. “I say we go down and inflict a little bit more fucking pain on him.” He hands the folder over to Oz.
Oz’s reaction is much of the same as he hands over some photos to Cruz and Dex. “This all his handy work?”
I nod. “Some are a bit older and others are from just last week when I found her.” I run a hand through my hair, feeling the hate burn me.
Dex claps his hands. “Let’s get this sh
it show on the road.”
I walk past them all as they let me lead the way since this is my fucked-up situation. When I hit the landing, I come face-to-face with a man who’s strung up by his arms, and when our eyes meet, recognition hits him. “You?” he asks, a hoarse laugh escaping his throat.
“Me,” I confirm, crossing my arms over my chest as the rest of the men form a circle around him.
“Do you know who I am? Who my father is?” His eyes begin to fill with panic as they dart around the room, eyeing the big men surrounding him.
I feel a bit smug at his reaction and release a laugh of my own. “Yes, I do.”
“Well then, you know you should let me go.” His voice is laced with alarm. I laugh at his statement and look around the room at all the amused faces.
Leo walks up beside me. “My boy here isn’t known for being smart when it comes to a woman.” I glance over at him.
“None of you are,” Oz adds with a chuckle and a punch to Leo’s bicep.
“Fuck off,” Leo barks out at him.
“The bitch ain’t worth it,” Jake sneers, and I see red. My fists connect with his jaw, snapping his head around with a sickening crack. The sound brings out my blood lust and I deliver several more punches to his face. I can feel the skin on my knuckles I’d busted open just days ago in this very basement, rip back open with the force of my blows.
“Matt! Stop, man, you’re gonna kill him!” Leo yells, and I feel strong arms come around me, pulling me back. I fight against the wall of muscle at my back.
“Calm the fuck down,” Cowboy snaps as he wades in to help Leo drag me away from Jake. He levels his eyes at me. “We get it, man, but you need to collect your shit and do what we’re here to do.” I take a deep breath and blow it out.