Clara and Jed had been waiting for them when they reached the quay. At the last moment Clara clung to Abby, tears washing her face. ‘You don’t hate me for what we’re doing, do you? You don’t think I’m . . . dirty?’
‘Oh, Clara, Clara.’ Abby held her arms, looking deep into the sad little face. ‘I love you all the world, you must know that. Nothing you could do or say would make me love you any the less. And of course you’re not dirty. Put that thought out of your mind.’ And she had pressed her sister fiercely to her. It wasn’t right what Clara and Jed were doing but as God was her witness, she couldn’t condemn them.
‘Do you think everything will work out for them?’ she asked James now, as they waved to the two tiny figures among the throng on the top deck of the huge liner.
‘Of course it will, she’s your sister,’ James said quietly. ‘You’ve brought her up, you encouraged the steel in her backbone to form when your mother would have crushed it out of her. She’s her own person today because you made it possible and you’ve got to accept that, right or wrong, she’ll forge her own destiny, lass. You have to let her go, like you’ll have to let John and Henry go and, God willing, the bairns we have together.’
‘You make it sound so simple.’
‘It is.’ He put his arm round her, drawing her into his side. ‘Simple but hard to do. You gave her everything it was in your power to give and now she’s a grown woman who has to take responsibility for her own actions.’
‘I’m frightened for her.’ She looked up at him for a moment. ‘I’ve got this feeling . . .’
‘That’s your own anxiety.’ He put his hands on her shoulders and made her face him. ‘That’s all it is, Abby. No one knows the future.’
‘I feel my mam’s spirit will still strive to mar her life.’
‘That’s because you’re tired.’ He stroked her hair gently. ‘Emotionally drained. Your mother has no power over any of you any more. She’s gone, Abby.’
‘Yes, yes, you’re right.’ She turned from him and looked towards the ship again, drawing in a long, shuddering breath. ‘She’s gone and we’re still here, living, breathing, loving.’
He saw her straighten as though she had thrown a weight off her shoulders and when she glanced at him again she was smiling. ‘My husband is a very wise man,’ she said, the lilt of laughter in her voice.
‘And my wife has a very big heart.’
‘I love you.’
‘And I love you.’
She would see Clara again. As the massive liner began to move, tears blinded her eyes but her heart was at peace for the first time in weeks. And whatever this new life held for her sister, Clara would stand up to it because that was the way she was made.
They stood there with the two children who were mesmerised by the huge ship until almost everyone else had gone, and then Abby wiped her eyes with the handkerchief James silently gave her and sniffed hard.
‘I’m ready to go now,’ she said, reaching up and kissing the corner of his mouth. And then the four of them walked away.
Always I'll Remember
RITA BRADSHAW
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Always I'Ll Remember Page 41