“I never thought I’d say this, but maybe you would’ve been better off if she caught you kissing Will instead.” Ryan pries a napkin out of the dispenser on the table and wipes his hands.
“How did you know…?” I’m shaking with rage. How dare Lauren discuss my love life with him!
“I didn’t hear it from my stepsister. Calm down.” He sits back in his chair and examines me closely. “My dad told me after Lauren had a meltdown on the phone with him. He wanted me to warn you to watch your back.”
“Your dad always did like me.” The corner of my mouth twitches despite how dejected I feel. “He never pushed us together like Lauren’s trying to do.”
“Wait. Hold up. What…?” Ryan appears genuinely confused. Way to go, big mouth. I may have just tiptoed into a subject I don’t have the energy to discuss.
“I honestly don’t get what she’s all about, Ry.” I’m running on empty but he deserves to know where I’m coming from. “First, she’s trying to keep me away from you. Then she’s going ballistic when she catches me with another guy like I’m cheating on you or something when we’re not even going out.”
He’s silent as he fiddles with the placemat. Ut oh, what’s this all about? He’s not going to go and ruin everything by saying he likes me now, is he? He better not. We’re too good together to get caught up in some romantic bullshit. I definitely don’t feel that way about him, and he better not say he feels that way about me. I’m at my breaking point. There’s only so much drama I can take before I completely lose it.
“Ry, listen to me. She’s just trying to mess with our heads. You’re too important to me to play with your emotions like that. We’re not on some kind of reality show. This is our lives. We’ve been friends longer than I can remember and I’m not gonna let her come between us with these ridiculous schemes of hers. Don’t even think about telling me you’re in love with me or anything like that, or I’m gonna get up and walk out that door.” The longer I talk, the louder my voice is getting, and people are starting to stare at our table. I can’t help it. I’m too worked up. Lauren is dismantling my life piece by piece. I’m going to be left with nothing by the end of the summer.
“I care you about, Ivy. I always will. I don’t know what it is I feel for you, but it makes me crazy to think you’re kissing other dudes.” He’s exasperated as he props his elbows on the table. “I’ve always been the number one guy in your life and I hate the thought of being replaced by someone else. Does that mean I’m in love with you? I don’t know. You tell me.”
“I knew the older we got things would start to get complicated between us. It’s not easy for a guy and a girl to be friends. It’s just not. I think we’ve survived together this long because the two of us have never seriously dated anyone else before.” Something inside of me shifts as Ryan casts me a mournful glance. He is in love with me. He doesn’t have to say it. I can feel it. Oh no, what am I going to do now?
“Will was it for you. I figured with him back in town, I’d be stuck playing runner-up for your attention. But who the hell is this Eric guy? You’ve never even mentioned him.” He can’t even look at me right now. Somewhere along the line I betrayed him, but I don’t know how.
“Ry, it all happened so fast. Something just clicked with him. I can’t explain it. I had no intentions of pursuing him, especially when Lauren’s so into him. And when I saw Will at the theater, all of those old feelings of inadequacy came rushing back again. I didn’t even have time to process them when I bumped into Eric. He made me feel wanted—good about myself, even. Like he immediately accepted me for me, no questions asked. I didn’t have to prove myself to him or change to fit whatever he was looking for. We just clicked on the spot.” The hurt on Ryan’s face is so intense I stop talking even though I could go on all night about Eric. It’s not fair to cause Ryan any more pain. I don’t think I could stomach listening to him go on and on about some girl he just met either. Some type of jealousy factor would rear its ugly head, I’m sure.
“Would you two lovebirds like the check?” Our waitress begins clearing the table, and I’ve never felt more awkward in my life. Society doesn’t know how to handle platonic friendships. To the outside world, we must look like this cute couple even though I’m nearly five years older than him. I’ve always appeared young for my age so it’s no wonder people are confused when they see us together. We’re not snuggling in the corner. We’re not even holding hands. But we’re alone together. That’s all it takes.
“Yes, please,” Ryan says curtly. I never meant to lead him on but somehow I have.
“Don’t listen to Lauren, Ryan. She doesn’t even know what she’s talking about.” I tilt my head and search his eyes imploringly.
“But what if she does? From my end at least…I mean, isn’t it obvious?” He drums his fingers on the table. “I saw you, Ivy.”
“Okay, what’s that cryptic message supposed to mean?” This conversation has gone in so many different directions that my head is spinning.
“I saw you…naked.” He barely whispers the word and at first I’m not sure what he said.
“There’s no possible way you saw…” I start but he holds up a hand to stop me from continuing.
“Do you remember last summer when you came over my apartment complex to go swimming in the pool?” He wants to get this off his chest for some reason. Maybe I should just let him and get it over with. I certainly don’t want to hear it but it may clear up a few things about how he’s been acting around me.
“Yeah, so? We didn’t go skinny dipping or anything.” I laugh but it’s half-hearted.
“Well, the bathroom was being remodeled and my mom told you that you could change in my room, right?” I nod, the enormity of the situation beginning to dawn on me. “I heard what she said and I hid in my closet in order to jump out and scare you when you walked in. But you didn’t give me a chance.” He swallows hard, blushing. “You already had your shirt off before you even closed the door. You weren’t wearing a bra so I couldn’t very well barge out of the closet while you were topless. But I’m a guy, Ivy. I couldn’t help but watch.” He pauses again. “I saw everything. I mean everything. Especially when you checked yourself out in my full-length mirror.”
My cheeks are on fire as the memory of that day comes flooding back. It was a good five minutes or so that I examined myself in that mirror before putting on my bathing suit. I was completely naked for an extended period of time. I thought I was alone in the room. I had no idea I was being watched. In fact, I felt a little naughty being like that in Ryan’s room. Little did I know, he was in there the whole time.
“I haven’t been able to get that image out of my head, Ivy.” He’s pleading with me to forgive him but I don’t know if I can. Not yet anyway. I’m too mortified to even be sitting across from him right now. “You’re all I’ve been thinking about for like a solid year.”
“Okay, I’ve heard enough. I’m out of here.” Abruptly, I stand up from the table nearly spilling what’s left our drinks in the process. I try to flee but he grabs my arm.
“Ivy, wait. Let me explain. I’ll pay the check and we can talk about it in the Jeep.” He frantically tries to pull his wallet out of his back pocket with one hand but there’s no way I’m going anywhere with him after a revelation like that. I don’t want to be in his presence at all.
“After hearing that I’m your Playboy fantasy? I don’t think so, Ry. I’ll walk back to the office from here and get my car.” I yank myself away from him and reach for my purse. “You don’t need me here anyway. You can just jerk off to me in your imagination.”
I make a move toward the door but he blocks my path. “You’re not leaving until you give me a chance to explain. I wanted to be honest with you. Doesn’t that count for something?”
I slide under his arm before he can trap me against the seat. “Some things are better left unsaid, but I guess you’re too thick to realize that.” I want to disappear into thin air. I can’t shake the mental i
mage of what he’s been doing. It makes me feel cheap, dirty somehow. If I had any doubts about harboring any type of attraction for him, they’re long gone now. I don’t feel the least bit turned on from knowing that he gets off to me. I know guys do things like that…but Ryan? I guess I’ll always think of him as that cute little boy I used to go on the swing set with. And it saddens me that we had to grow up and come to a fork in the road like this.
“Ivy!” He calls after me but I don’t hesitate. I keep going. He can’t follow because he has to pay the check. I have a few precious minutes in order to escape. If I head for the road, he’ll easily find me in his Jeep. Instead, I duck around the back and slide down a wooded ravine. At the bottom, I press my back against a rock and take a deep breath. It’s dark and the mosquitoes are biting but I don’t care. I just needed to get away from him for a while.
I’ll wait here twenty minutes or so and then I’ll try walking back. If he’s waiting for me in the office parking lot, I’ll just ignore him and get in my car. All I need is a little breather to steady my heart rate and clear my head. I’m too embarrassed to face him. I have to collect myself first. It’s not like I’ll never speak to him again or anything. But no one likes to hear that their oldest friend has turned them into a sex object. I didn’t think my day could get any worse. What is it with this family? Are they all out to ruin me through some psychotic joint conspiracy?
Things have gotten so bad that it feels like I don’t have anyone left to turn to. I mean, I guess I could talk to Sophie about it but she’d probably think I was overreacting. She wouldn’t understand why I’m upset about what Ryan told me. She’d most likely tell me I’m blowing things out of proportion and that boys will be boys. She’s not exactly a prude herself, and her advice would be something about how I should be flattered that Ryan thinks of me that way. I can’t deal with hearing anything along those lines.
There is someone I can call, not to talk about this, but just to hear a comforting voice. I’ve been stubborn in avoiding thinking about him all day. I’m sure he’s been leaving me messages but Lauren reset the password on my extension’s voice mail so that she would be able to screen all of my calls. She doesn’t want me talking to him on the job but she can’t prevent what I do in my personal life. At least, that’s what I’m trying to tell myself.
I already preprogrammed the number of the garden center into my phone. It’s after nine o’clock and he’s probably not even there but it’s worth a shot. This can very well blow up in my face. But as for the day I’m having, there’s no way in hell I can go back to my dorm room and cry in my pillow. I require more than that. I want a living, breathing connection to a human being. Everything with him has always felt so natural, so right. It’s the other people getting in the way that’s the problem.
Before I can second guess myself, I turn on my phone, illuminating the darkness that surrounds me. Tapping through my contacts, I find his name and hit the call button. It rings and rings and rings. And just when I’m about to hang up, I hear his breathless greeting. “Hello?”
Chapter Twelve
Eric
I’m by the tub-sized sink in the back trying to scrape the caked mud off my boots when I hear the phone ring. I’m not in the mood to run barefoot to the register in order to pick it up but my deep-seated work ethic overrules my inner slacker. I race for the receiver, nearly knocking it off the wall in my haste. If it’s a telemarketer, they’re about to get an earful concerning the Riverside Gardens’ number being on the official ‘do not call’ list.
“Hello?” Her voice sounds shaky but I’d know it anywhere.
“Ivy? What’s wrong?” I cut to the chase. In just her one-word greeting, I can tell she’s in some kind of trouble.
“Eric, hey.” She swallows on the other end in attempt to compose herself. “I thought I’d call and see how you’re doing.”
The caller ID is displaying the digits to her cell and I write them on the back of my hand in case we get disconnected or something. I’m not losing contact with her, not again. Her reaching out to me is the opportunity I’ve been waiting for. I’m not going to mess this up. It’s too important.
“I’m fine, but you don’t sound so good. Where are you? Not still at the office I hope.” Lauren works some crazy hours and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was burning the midnight oil while simultaneously running Ivy into the ground.
“No.” There’s an unmistakable pause like she’s debating whether or not to tell me where she is. “I’m actually behind the pizzeria in the Midland Shopping Center. Don’t ask why. I needed to get away from someone, that’s all.”
“What? Do you need me to come and get you?” Adrenaline courses through me. What if she’s hurt? What if someone attempted to hurt her? What the hell is she doing there?
“It’s cool, Eric, really. I had a killer of a day and then an old friend told me something that upset me and I just couldn’t deal with it. I’m probably blowing things way out of proportion and getting eaten alive by the mosquitoes, but I needed some space. I felt like life was suffocating me.” She lets out a sigh and an ache surrounds my heart. “But I already feel better talking to you. That’s why I called. I know things have been weird between us and I don’t want to get in the way of anything you have going on with Lauren, but I needed to…”
“You don’t have to explain. I get it.” I quickly transfer the call to my cell phone, pulling it out of my pocket. She continues talking as I rush back to the washroom, shoving my feet in my dirty boots. Turning off the light, I lock the door of the garden center and jump in my truck.
“What’s that?” The roar of the engine in the background startles her. “Eric, please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”
“Of course I am. I’m coming to get you.” The cab rattles as I drive a little too fast over the bumpy road.
“Turn around, or I swear I’ll be gone by the time you get here.” She’s threatening me, but I think she’s bluffing. I just have to keep her talking in order to distract her. I need her to be there when I arrive. I have to see her again.
“Oh no, you don’t. You called me out of the blue needing help. Do you really think I’m going to turn you down?” My tone is adamant. She has to realize how much I care about her. I’m not the type of guy who plays games with women. If she wants me, I’m all hers.
“Are you bringing your wonder dog, too?” There’s a hint of a chuckle in her voice, and I can’t help but think back to how we first met and how I cradled her in my arms.
“Nope, Shep’s most likely snoring away on my feather bed, muddy paws and all.” I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me. I’ve got no game whatsoever. There’s nothing sexier than telling the girl you can’t stop thinking about that your sheets are stained with paw prints.
“Awww…” And her reaction unthaws a piece of my heart I never thought would melt. She’s a good person through and through and that’s the reason I’m falling so hard for her. Sure, she has a killer body, and the kiss we shared made me want to take her right there against the porch railing, but it’s more than just the physical with her. She makes me want to live again.
“So tell me about the dress you’re wearing to the gala. Don’t girls like to talk about clothes and stuff?” She laughs and I hope I’ve bought myself a few more minutes. I’m barreling down these dark country lanes with my high beams on. If a deer happens to run out in front of my truck, I’m toast.
“It’s nothing fancy. It’s vintage, even. I found it on eBay.” I have no clue how to keep this conversation moving forward, but I’ll give it my best shot.
“Vintage? That means it’s old, right?” I swing around a bend as my brakes screech in protest.
“Yeah, it’s from the 1960s. I modeled it for my friend in the dorm and she said I looked very Jackie O. So I’m taking that as a compliment.” And that’s what I like about Ivy. She doesn’t try too hard to be overtly sexy. She’s comfortable being herself, and that’s what I find so all
uring about her.
“I can’t wait to see it in person.” The gala is a sore subject between us. I took a risk bringing it up. Now let’s see if it pays off.
“Are you still going with Lauren?” There is a bitter quality to her voice that I can’t deny. I glance at the clock on the dashboard. I’m almost there. I feel like she’s going to disappear like Cinderella at midnight. I put more weight on the accelerator.
“Just because I’m committed to escort her there—for business reasons that are out of my control—it doesn’t mean that I’m leaving with her.” I don’t know how to make my intentions any plainer. But the lag in the conversation sends me into panic mode. “Ivy, are you still there? Did you hear what I said?”
“I heard you.” That’s it, nothing more. It’s like she doesn’t believe me. What more do I have to say to convince her? Maybe words aren’t enough in this case. I’ll have to show her instead. I can see the lights of the shopping center and I make a rough turn into the parking lot, cutting off an oncoming car. Hurtling to the back area where the workers stash their vehicles, I leap out of the truck, leaving my headlights on to illuminate the path in front of me. I’m almost there. Where is she?
Stepping onto the embankment, I peer down into the darkness. At first I don’t see anything as my eyes try to adjust to the shadows stretching below me. It’s only when a rock tumbles down the cliff on the right do I notice Ivy climbing up. Running over to her, I extend my hand and pull her up. Even in the dim light, I can tell she’s beat. She looks more exhausted than she did this morning, and there are dark circles beneath her eyes. What is working with that witch doing to her? That’s it. I refuse to stand by any longer. Lauren’s power over us is ending tonight.
“Eric!” She stumbles into my arms and I hold her against my chest. Stroking her hair, I let my hand wander down her back, hardly cognizant of what I’m doing. She’s back in my embrace; that’s all I’m able to comprehend. She feels so good. It’s like taking a long drink of cool water on a sweltering day. That’s what being in her presence does for me.
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