I could hear Isa’s feet crunching in the leaves as she followed me. I hoped I was going the right way because I was the one leading the pack. I guess running angry really does help.
The trail opened up into a wide field with bright red tape marking the rest of the path. Ainsley was waiting there with her stopwatch.
I kept running until I passed Ainsley. Then I collapsed on the grass. As I panted and gasped for air, I felt like my bad memories were pushing their way outside of my body.
Ainsley held up her stopwatch and screamed, “Eleven minutes, twenty seconds!!! That’s a camp record!”
BEA
Hey kiddo,
Sounds like camp is going well. Glad you got put in the same bunk with your friends. Good luck training for the tournament!
We had a great time at Disney World. We got fast passes so we could ride Space Mountain, Thunder Mountain Railroad, and Splash Mountain all in a row. Peyton and Vivi got a little motion sick by the third roller coaster, but they both said it was worth it. The girls got really into taking artsy pictures around the park. Monica posted them all on Instagram. You can catch up when you’re back in the digital world. Too bad you’re at camp all summer. We would’ve loved to have you join us.
Looking forward to you visiting the new house. We’re going to be at Monica’s parents the first weekend you’re back from camp, and the girls have their first travel tennis tournament of the season the weekend after that, but maybe you can come the Sunday after that? I’ll check in with your mom and Monica when it gets closer to the date.
Enjoy the rest of camp! Monica says to remember your sunblock.
Love,
Dad, Monica, and the girls
Dear Dad,
I’m so happy to hear that you guys had such a great time at Disney! Can’t wait to see the pictures. I bet Peyton and Vivi took some really cool shots. I’ll take a look on Instagram as soon as I have phone access again.
I would love to visit the first weekend you are free. Just let me know when it works best for you. I know how busy you guys are!
Sorry for the short letter, but we are super busy getting ready for the camp tournament. Give my love to everyone.
Love,
Bea
I took Hannah’s advice and ran mad. I thought about how I wasn’t just invisible at school. I was invisible at Dad’s house, too.
Dad started dating Monica two years ago, after she ran out of gas right in front of his car dealership. It may sound like a Hallmark movie, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Monica drove around and around until she ran out of gas, hoping some unsuspecting Prince Charming would save her. That person just happened to be my dad.
Monica always makes this cheesy joke that she came as a “package deal” with her daughters Peyton, who’s a year older than me, and Vivi, who’s a year younger than me. The first time I met them, Dad called us “his girls.” As if a few months of dating their mom had made her daughters as important to him as I was.
“The girls” each have their own rooms in the new house. This is knowledge that I’ve gathered from our FaceTime chat, because I haven’t been to the new house yet, even though they moved in six months ago. Dad says it’s because we haven’t been able to coordinate our schedules. Meanwhile, I’ve been free every weekend because I have no friends in Mapleton. Dad and “his girls” are the ones who’ve been busy. Peyton has a room with a window seat covered in purple and white floral fabric that matches her bedspread and curtains. Vivi’s room has a custom-made loft bed with a homework nook under it complete with a desk hutch and swivel chair.
Meanwhile, I don’t have my own room in my own Dad’s house. He thought I would fall for it when he designated the finished basement as “my own personal space.” As if the pullout couch made it a real bedroom. I don’t see a washer and dryer in Peyton’s or Vivi’s rooms. Monica loves to pretend that relegating me to the basement is a high honor instead of the stereotypical banishment of the biological child in favor of the step-children—a tale as old as time. But the more he shows me that I’m not important, that I don’t matter, the more I want him to see me, and the more I want to be a real part of his life.
Running angry really did make me run faster. Poppy and I brought up the back of the pack. We’re fast compared to a lot of other girls at camp, but not as fast as Isa, Hannah, and, apparently, Maisy. When we got to the finish line, the girls were jumping up and down and cheering for her… a sight I never expected to see.
Maisy broke away from them and ran to me. “I’m a runner, Bea! Who knew I would actually be good at something?”
The irony is that Maisy is talented at a lot of things. She’s an amazing singer with a broad range who can also play any song on the guitar and piano. She taught herself how to play both instruments from YouTube, the same way she learned how to do every hairstyle imaginable. Part of me was glad that camp humbled Maisy, but the other part of me felt bad that going to Camp Amelia broke her confidence. Because I know better than anyone else what that feels like.
Ainsley blew her whistle.
I realized I hadn’t seen Maisy smile like that since she got here. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her smile like that—a real smile. Sure, she was always laughing with the M & Ms when I saw them at school, but her smile looked fake, like those cardboard cutouts of smiles on sticks you find in photo booths.
“You know what this means, girls?” asked Ainsley.
Poppy put both hands on top of her head. “We still have a chance at the Cup!”
Isa paced back and forth like she always did when she was working something out in her head. “Tinka and I take turns winning the run. With Maisy, we’ll have a definite shot at that first spot, which might secure us enough points to bring in the win!”
Hannah smoothed down her perfect french braids, which of course were done by Maisy. “As long as you can get across the ropes course, Maisy.”
“Unless I pass the swim test. Then I just need to complete the swim. Right, Ainsley?” Maisy turned toward Ainsley with a look of sheer desperation on her face.
Ainsley laughed. “You have a better chance at winning the lottery.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MAISY
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]
Subject: Guess what????
Hi Dad,
Apparently I’m like a superstar runner! I beat the camp record on my first try. Our counselor Ainsley, who goes to college on a track scholarship, told me I should try out for cross-country in the fall. I might do it, as long as I can still find time for drama and voice stuff.
I’m definitely not a superstar swimmer, not even in the baby group. But I can put my head in the water and blow bubbles now! My swim coach says you have to start somewhere.
My bunkmates turned out to be pretty nice. You know how Grandma always says, “I can be a bit much, and that takes some getting used to”? I think they’re getting used to me.
Guess what? Bea and I are friends again. At first it was kind of out of necessity, but now I kinda like hanging out with her. Just don’t say I told you so.…
So I’m doing kind of okay. That doesn’t mean I want you shipping me off to adventure camp next summer, so don’t get any crazy ideas. But I’m doing all right. I’ve been talking to Dr. Beth and she said she would give you the name of a good therapist back home. I know I said I would NEVER go to therapy, but that was before I met Dr. Beth. She said she could give you the name of someone for you too, you know, if you need to talk.
If you’re still feeling guilty about shipping me off to boot camp for the summer, Bath & Body Works or LUSH products would help.… And maybe some cookies from Insomnia. Make sure you send enough for the whole bunk. These girls eat A LOT!
Love you and miss you,
Mini
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Guess what????
Hi Mini,
Wow! Co
ngrats on the running superstardom. I’m not surprised at all. Mom and I used to have the hardest time keeping up with you when you were little. We always had to worry about Addy climbing out of the Pack and Play because she was so strong, but we always had to worry about you running off at Target because you were the fastest toddler in history. You LOVED to run through the aisles! I wanted to get you one of those kiddie leashes, but Mom put her foot down about that.
Your swimming coach is right. You have to start somewhere. I didn’t just wake up one day knowing how to do surgery. There were lots of little steps on the way, like high school science classes, pre-med classes, medical school, you get the point. The people who get somewhere in life are the ones who are willing to take all those little steps on the way.
I’m glad Dr. Beth is helping you. She already emailed me with the name of a few therapists back home. She also sent me a link to Taco Bell coupons for something called Taco Tuesday??
Love you,
Dad
From: @madisonave
To: @maisywintersiscoming
Won’t it be weird if the new girl doesn’t have an M name?
From: @maisywintersiscoming
To: @madisonave
It’s like being fashion-forward… knowing the trend before it even happens.
From: @madisonave
To: @maisywintersiscoming
??? I don’t get it.
From: @maisywintersiscoming
To: @madisonave
Having a group where everyone’s name starts with the same letter is so babyish. We need to mix it up for middle school or the 8th graders will make fun of us.
From: @madisonave
To: @maisywintersiscoming
Ooooooh. Now I get it!!!
Things I Know About the M & Ms
1. When Madison borrows something, you’re never getting it back, even if your name’s written in black Sharpie on the tag.
2. When Madeline finds out who your crush is, she’ll say she’s liked him forever and you’re copying her.
3. Mia can’t figure anything out without calling her mother. She even calls her every day at lunch to ask what she should eat.
4. Meghan never gives photo creds on Instagram but calls out anyone who posts one of her pics without giving her credit.
Things the M & Ms Know About Me
1. I have to buy my bras at Justice.
2. I’m scared of everything.
3. My sister’s a superstar gymnast.
4. Dad’s a doctor—speaking of which, it really creeps me out when Madeline says he looks hot in his scrubs, like the guys on Grey’s Anatomy.
What the M & Ms Don’t Know About Me
1. My mom is a drug addict.
Things the Sunflower Girls Know About Each Other
1. EVERYTHING
Poppy texted all the Sunflower girls as soon as she got her period. They knew Hannah’s dad was downsized last year and that she was at camp on scholarship, a scholarship Poppy’s Nana Mary helped pay for. They also knew about Hannah’s dyslexia and that Poppy’s parents weren’t divorced, but sleep in separate bedrooms in super-faraway wings of their gigantic mansion. They know Isa’s dad isn’t her biological dad, even though he treats her like he is. They know that Bea’s dad is living with a needy woman named Monica and that he spends more time with her daughters than with Bea. These girls don’t believe in secrets. Neither do the M & Ms, but in a totally different way. They don’t believe in secrets because they can’t keep their mouths shut. I could never confide in them the way that Bea does with the Sunflower girls.
It was kind of weird to be around girls who were so close to each other on such an intense level. But it was also nice to have them not really hating me anymore. At first, I thought I just cared about fitting in, but I was starting to realize I genuinely liked hanging out with them, even Bea.
But once the girls realized we had a shot at the Cup, the pressure was back on. If I had known that was gonna happen, I might not have run so fast.
Bea gave my safety harness a tug. “You’re finally ready for the hard part of the course!”
I shuddered. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna be ready for the spider web. Look how high up it goes!”
Bea squeezed my hands. “Once you get up to the top platform, you’ll be done with the course. You can do this.”
“But the space between each rope is huge! What if I fall right through?” I asked.
Bea took one look at my face and said, “Isa’s never fallen and neither will you.”
I pulled at the rope attached to me and looked at how the web had six rows between me and the next platform.
Bea looked me in the eyes. “And, yes, your rope is long enough. You are so ready for this. I am here for you. Now do you trust me?”
“Will you go first? And wait for me? And go super slow?” I asked.
Bea nodded and her bright red curls bounced from underneath her helmet. “Yes to all of that.”
“Should we recheck our helmets? Do you think they loosened up while we were ziplining?”
Bea put both hands on top of my helmet, then yanked on my chin strap. “Feels perfect.”
“What about my rope harness? I feel like I could just slip through the leg holes.”
Bea tugged on the ropes around my waist. “All good.”
I gave another tug just to be sure.
Bea started climbing. “Quit stalling,” she called and moved up the web just enough to make room for me.
My arms and legs stretched as far as they could go as soon as I tried to climb up the web. When Bea moved, the whole web started swaying with her.
I clutched the rope tight and tried to stay as still as I could to stop my body from moving. “Wait! Stop! You’re shaking the whole thing!”
Bea’s voice was calm. “You have to get used to that feeling. During the competition, we’ll both be crossing the web at the same time. It might feel kind of weird, but every time you feel the ropes move, it will mean I’m right up here with you.”
I felt that tingling feeling in my fingers and pounding in my chest that happens right before I have a panic attack, but I thought about what Dr. Beth told me. She said to focus on breathing in and out. So I breathed in while I counted to ten in my mind, then I breathed out for ten. I did this until my heart stopped feeling like it would jump out of my chest.
I wish I could bring Dr. Beth back to Mapleton with me, but she would never leave all her cats behind. Apparently, she lives on a farm not far from camp with all of her cats and her husband, Jerry, during the school year. She said we can FaceTime, but it won’t be the same as packing her in my suitcase and bringing her home.
I moved up to the next row. Now I only had five more to go.
“You can do it, Maisy!” Isa shouted from where she was belaying below.
Hannah called, “Come on, Maisy! You can do it!”
But it still felt nice to have them all sticking by me. No matter what. I’ve never once felt like that with the M & Ms. I’ve always been one wrong haircut, one bad outfit, or one wrong comment away from being dropped. With these girls, all they wanted was for me to try my best, which made me want to try harder. I didn’t want to let them down, not because I was scared they would drop me from the group, but because I wanted them to be proud of me.
I tried to ignore the way my body was shaking and swaying on the ropes as I moved up to the next row. But this row was even higher than the last one and, as much as my arms wanted to reach for the next level of rope, my brain wouldn’t let them. All I could do was picture myself falling to my death.
“Come on, Maisy!” shouted Bea. “I know you can do this. You are so close!”
The other girls were shouting from underneath us, but I couldn’t hear them over the ringing in my ears.
“I can’t do it!” I yelled.
I started climbing back down, ready for Bea to give me a lecture about giving up when I was so close to finishing. But I just couldn’t do it. I could feel my face
heat up with the shame of letting Bea down again.
I could feel the ropes move back and forth as Bea made her way next to me. I looked at her, ready to take whatever she gave me.
But she put her hand on mine. “You came so close this time. The closest you ever have.”
I bit my lower lip and pushed the tears back. “But I didn’t make it to the top. What if I can’t do it at the tournament? What if I let you guys down?”
Bea moved down a rung, ready to help me get back down to the ground. “I know you can do it at the tournament. You almost did it today. You’ll get it during the tournament when the adrenaline is pumping and we have a Dandelion girl coming behind us. I believe in you.”
I really hoped I could do it the day of the tournament because the guilt of letting Bea down would be too much to handle.
BEA
Dear Bea,
I’m missing you like crazy. But I’ve been keeping busy working and hanging out with the Single Squad. Frank at Pizza Amore groans every time he sees us coming because we hit his all-you-can-eat salad buffet hard after spin class. Last time we went, he tried to hide the breadsticks from us, but Nicole busted him. You don’t want to get between Nicole and her post-workout carb loading.
I’m sure you are waiting on the Mr. Pembrook update.… I think I finally found someone as obsessed with Harry Potter as I am! We spent the weekend binge watching all the movies. Gavin even made Harry Potter–themed food. We had pumpkin juice, Hogwarts Acceptance Letter puff pastries, Hagrid’s steak and kidney pie, without the steak because Gavin is vegan, which was great as long as I ate around the kidney beans, and butterbeer cupcakes for dessert. We agree on all the important things: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is the worst book/movie of the series and Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in the best, Professor Snape is a hero, and Gryffindor all the way!
I finally sold the Cherrybrook Lane house! You know the blue one with the big turret and gingerbread trim? That means you and I can take a nice trip for spring break this year. We can stay in one of those all-inclusive resorts where you can order unlimited Shirley Temples and swim with the dolphins like we’ve always wanted! When you get home, we can go online and pick out a resort together.
Camp Clique Page 14