He had no words to offer. He only followed Stephen deeper into the darkness. Except for their breathing and the sound of movement, the cave had a distinct stillness he couldn’t quite fathom. There were no bird songs here, no tree limbs swaying in the breezes, no sound of rushing wind, no braying of animals. Only a silence such as he had never before experienced. Oh, he’d experienced the silence of his cabin at times. But there were always noises from an active and living world. Here, there was nothing. Nothing, that is, until the sound of trickling water broke the barricade of silence. Stephen pointed out a small cascade falling from above that fed the underground river. To Jared, it played like a soothing melody, interrupting the awful quiet they had come to witness along the journey. He was glad for Susanna’s hand on his and patted hers in reassurance. He heard her sigh, even as she slipped a little on the muddy trail. He glanced down to see the front of her dress smeared with mud. She was right. There was no vanity to be had in a place like this.
“This here’s the river,” Stephen said, shining his lantern. “Look real close and you can see some of the critters that live here.”
Jared left Susanna to stare into the water, perfectly still like green glass but for the minute ripples that gave proof of life. White crayfish scurried about in the light of the Stephen’s lantern. And something else floated lazily in the waters, oblivious to their presence.
“They ain’t scared’ a nuthin’,” Stephen said with a laugh. “You see why?”
“They have no eyes!” he said in glee. “The eyeless fish!”
“Jared?”
A soft voice broke the moment. Susanna sat huddled by a rock, trying to hold her lantern in her trembling hands. “I’m getting cold. Can we leave now?”
“Of course. Stephen, we need to go back. I’m sure the doctor is probably in the sick cave by now.”
Stephen obliged. “I was thinking of catching one of these critters for my son. Iffen the lady here wouldn’t mind?”
Susanna shook her head and managed a shaky smile. “Of course not.” She began to tremble, even as Jared draped his arm around her, hoping to ward off the chill. “G–go and see the fish, Jared. I’m sure you want to.”
“I’ll see it when Stephen catches one. We’ll wait here. It’s pretty muddy anyway. A person could slip and fall very easily.”
Just then there came a terrific splash. Jared whirled, even as Susanna cried out. They both hurried to the river’s edge. Stephen was in the river, his arms flailing, the bags he wore pulling him down into the murky depths. “Can’t keep my head above,” he sputtered.
“Stephen, take off those satchels and give me your hand!”
Jared reached out his hand and managed to clasp the guide’s hand, asking God for help. Slowly he dragged the man to the rocky shore where, to his amazement, Susanna was there to help. Together they managed to heave Stephen to safety onto a muddy rock.
“It’s my ankle,” Stephen murmured. “Fool thing. Foot gave out on me and I fell. I’ve done walked miles and miles in this place and never had this happen.”
Susanna held up the lantern as Jared fumbled with the man’s shoe. “I can’t tell if it’s broken,” he said, feeling the anklebones. “Can you walk?”
Jared and Susanna helped him to a standing position. “Don’t rightly know if I can make it back to the sick room,” he said, hobbling along. “Hurts something fierce.”
“I’ll go for help,” Jared decided. “We didn’t come too far. Susanna can stay here with you.”
“I want to come, too,” Susanna said. “It’s too cold and I. . .” She hesitated.
“Take her with you,” Stephen assured him. “I’ll be fine and dandy. Ain’t too far to that there sick cave. You can find it easy enough. Just go back to that River Hall a spell, through Winding Way, and over the bottomless pit. You remember.”
Jared looked between the injured man and Susanna, then took Susanna’s hand in his. “You’re sure you’ll be all right, Stephen?”
He began to hoot. “Lookie here. I’s stayed by myself in this place longer than anyone. Like I done told the lady here, the cave and I are friends of a sort. You go on. I’ll be fine.”
Jared nodded, feeling a bit more relieved, if not bewildered, by this sudden turn of events. With Susanna close behind, they cautiously ventured back through the passageway.
“Can we find our way to the sick cave, Jared?” Susanna asked, the concern evident in her voice.
“Of course.” Gone was the excitement and adventure of a new and different place. Now he had a mission to fulfill and responsibilities resting squarely on his shoulders—to find help for Stephen and to safeguard Susanna through this rocky maze. When they arrived in River Hall, as Stephen called the room, he breathed easier. Looking about, he saw a passage to his left and continued on with Susanna following his every step. They would be back in the sick part of the cave very soon if all went well.
After some time he paused, perplexed. He held up the lantern even higher. They had not yet come to the narrow passage of Winding Way that once hugged them close. Nor did any of this part of the cave look familiar.
“What’s the matter?” Susanna asked.
“Just looking to see where we’re at,” he said, trying to keep his voice as calm as he could muster. But inwardly he began to panic. Nothing looked right. Every corridor seemed the same. Where was the passage Stephen had showed them, the one the man dug out with his bare hands? He wished then he had asked for better directions. But the man had confidence in him, and he’d felt confident, too. . .until now.
“Where are we?” Susanna asked, shivering once more.
“I’m sure we’re close to Winding Way and the bottomless pit,” Jared answered. He moved tentatively forward until he came to a junction of three passages.
“Which way do we go?” Susanna asked.
He wondered the same thing.
“Don’t you remember?” she pressed.
His thoughts became a jumbled mess. Nothing looked right in the lantern light, but he couldn’t tell Susanna that. She trusted him, as did Stephen. “We’ll keep going.” The passage he chose remained wide and long, concerning him that they still had not reached Winding Way. Finally Susanna asked to rest and found a large rock to sit on.
“Jared, do you know where we are?”
“Yes. . . ,” he began. Then he said quietly, “No.”
She straightened. “What do you mean?”
“Susanna, God knows where we are, but I can’t find that narrow passage Stephen showed us. We must have taken a wrong turn.”
“You mean we’re lost?” Her voice escalated as she stood to her feet. “I thought you knew the way!”
He thought he did, too. He wanted to reassure her that they would find their way out, but uncertainty ruled this dark place. The truth be known, he had no idea how to proceed. “I’m going back,” he decided. “The best thing for us to do is find Stephen. Maybe with the two of us helping, we can try to get him back to that sick cave. He can show us the way.”
Susanna folded her arms tightly around her. He knew she was distressed and angry with him. He was supposed to watch out for her, to be a help, to find a way through this rocky labyrinth. But he couldn’t. Her faith in him was all but shattered. Maybe everything else was, too.
He began heading back through the passage. If only he had the eyes of a coon and could see in this perpetual night.
“Are you sure this is right?” came a muffled voice behind him.
Susanna stood there, her dress limp and mud soaked, her face distraught, the chills overcoming her. He couldn’t believe he had let her and Stephen down. He began to pray, asking God for an answer, hoping He would somehow redeem this situation.
“Maybe we didn’t come far enough,” she said. “As it was, we were talking and all. Sometimes the distance seems a lot shorter when it really isn’t.”
He set down the lantern and promptly plunked himself on a rock. “I don’t know what do,” he confessed. He picked up
a small stone and tossed it out of frustration. “If we try to go back, we might end up in a worse place. Lord, please help us find a way out of here.” He dropped his face into his hands. He began to heave from the anxiety, pressing down like a crushing rock on his chest. He should have never asked Susanna to come into this place. He should have left her in safety outside these rocky walls and never involved her in any of his troubles. How could he have ever thought she might be the one for him? Or that he could make their relationship happen somehow, someway. He hadn’t trusted God the way he should. He had trusted in his own feelings, his own way of looking at things rather than God’s perfect way.
Just then, he felt her arm curl around him, her touch like a soothing balm to his dry spirit. Glancing up, he again saw the luminous eyes of Susanna in the lantern light.
“It will be all right.”
“I should’ve never done this to you,” he confessed. “Never brought you into this. It wasn’t fair. None of it. You need to live your life the way you want.”
“Jared.”
“It was wrong to put the burden of closing down this cave on you. Foolish, really. How could I expect that, after all? This place is what helps you survive.”
“It’s all right. I’m not upset. A little cold maybe.” She glanced around the cave. “We’ll get out of here somehow.”
“When we do, there are going to be some changes. And one thing’s for sure, you won’t be seeing me again. I won’t burden you any further. It isn’t right. You have your own life to live.”
She stared back, blinking. He thought he heard a sniff of distress. Could it be? Were those the beginnings of tears? Tears for him, one of the greatest fools in this world? Especially after everything he had done?
“Jared, you can’t leave,” her voice quivered. “I—I need you.”
The words jarred him more than the horror of their current circumstances. How could that be? He had gotten them lost in this rock-filled place. He had cast his cares on her, not on the Lord. He had entertained misconceptions, judgments, everything a follower of Christ should not do. “You don’t need me. . . ,” he began. “Look what I’ve caused you. Grief. Pain. And now we’re lost.”
“No, I mean we all need you. My family. Mr. Miller. Yes, even the doctor. Desperately.” She exhaled a loud sigh. “We would have been consumed by ourselves, so deep in our own way of making money and living far from the life my family once thought was a curse. But you made me see there is more to life than this. That there is a better treasure to be found, and not just in coins or in what I own. There is treasure in family, in loved ones, yes, even in a place like this. I mean you once hated this place. But when we came in here, you were like a boy on his adventure, looking at everything Stephen was willing to show you with new eyes. You could look beyond what the cave had done to see a place God had created.”
He sat there amazed. He didn’t think he had made any difference. But she seemed sincere. And yes, she had made a difference, too. She had survived life’s trials to live a life of blessing. She was willing to risk the anger of her family to help him and his uncle in their time of need. She chose to understand and accept him for who he was rather than try to make him into someone he was not. Maybe God was at work after all.
“Susanna, I love you.”
He sucked in his breath. He had said the words! Thankfully she couldn’t see his flushed face in the dim light of their lanterns. But he knew he did love her. He’d held it in for a long time, perhaps making excuses for it, allowing other things like this cave to get in the way. But now the expression of his heart came forth so naturally, as if the words were meant to be spoken here, of all places, under the earth.
And then came the response as if whispered out of the solid rock that surrounded them.
“Jared, I love you, too.”
Her words came forth simply, as well, out of a pure heart. Love, even in a dark and cold place. Even while lost and without knowing when they would be found. Love that could transcend circumstances. He reached out and held her. The kiss was simple but filled with warmth, confirming what was in his heart and hers. He cradled her, hoping to ward off the chills. “It won’t be long. We’ll be out of here soon.”
“I only hope the lanterns don’t go out.” Her voice was tremulous.
He held her even tighter, trying to reassure her, and prayed like he had never prayed before.
Fourteen
He loved her, and yes, she loved him. Even when trapped in a pit of darkness and with the lanterns quickly dimming. Even when the fear of the unknown rose higher with each passing moment. Even when she thought no one would find them and they might die in this place. She huddled close to him. Nothing else mattered at this moment. Not her fancy dresses. Not her mother’s fashionable book. Not money. Not Luke’s jibes or wondering what her future held. It had to come to this, with everything else stripped away, caught here in a void of darkness, before understanding could break through.
“I wish I had a blanket for you,” Jared said in dismay. “I’m sorry for this.”
“It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters now. I’m just glad we’re together.” Tears teased her tired eyes and made them burn. She never felt so weary but thankful all the same.
“I wonder how Stephen is,” Jared murmured.
“He can take care of himself. He’s been in this cave so many times. I’m not sure after all this, though, if I will ever come back here.” Her voice heightened with anxiety. She tried to steady it, to be a strong woman able to bear up under any circumstance. But she found her resolve difficult to keep. Maybe even impossible. “I’m scared.”
“Just keep holding my hand,” Jared told her. “Even if the lanterns go out, keep holding it.”
“Jared, if you let go of my hand, I’ll die.” The tears trickled out despite her effort to keep them at bay. “What if we’re never found? No one knows we came this way.”
“We’ll stay right here. The men guarding the cave entrance knew we were coming in. The people at the sick cave saw us go down the other passage. And there’s Stephen. Though I know he can’t move much, I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes it out on his own. He’s courageous, that man.”
Susanna wished she could be courageous, too, as the Bible said. Be bold and courageous. Do not be dismayed for He is with me wherever I go. Even in a dark and dreary cave, she thought. Even when I don’t know what will happen.
To pass the time, Jared shared morsels about his life. His deep voice sounded melodious in the cavern surroundings. He talked about his family—his parents and how eager they were to venture westward, his younger brother and sister who had gone with them, and his determination to stay here in Kentucky even after they had left.
“But then your aunt died and your uncle turned against you. Surely you wanted to leave then, didn’t you?”
“I thought about it,” he admitted. “But something kept me here. Or someone.”
She smiled a bit.
“When God writes your name in the ground, you have no choice but to stay. Mine was written upon this land long ago. I knew I couldn’t leave it. Even when everyone else had left and only my aunt and uncle remained. I was born here. I met the Lord here through a traveling minister. Kentucky is my home.”
“My mother taught me about God,” Susanna reminisced. “I remember sitting by her side one day. She was teaching me how to sew, and she used it to tell me about God. ‘Like our sewing,’ she said, ‘God is making a wonderful garment out of our lives.’ I never forgot it.” She became silent then, thinking about that simple time when there was only hard work to be had. There were no fancy dresses. No food aplenty. Just a hot loft to sleep in. Irritating brothers who gave her no peace. Even so, she never felt closer to God than she had then, in those difficult times. It was almost as though, when she left those humble beginnings, she’d left God there, as well. Oh, she thought about Him now and then. She prayed. But when life didn’t bring any of the difficulties she had come to know, it was as if she needed
Him less, when actually she needed Him more.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, gently pushing back strands of her hair that had fallen in her face.
“How much I really do need God in my life. I trusted Him when we lived in that old cabin. God and I were best friends, the way I used to talk to Him by the stream. And, of course, I would pray that He would help me. But when I moved to the hotel, it was as if God became lost in all the finery. I never really felt as close to God as I did back then on the farm. That is, until I met you.”
“I know we always want to escape trials. Trials can hurt. But it’s those trials that do bring us closer to Him.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t trust you,” she piped up.
He looked at her, startled. “Huh?”
“I knew you were trying to do good here, but I didn’t want to see my precious life interrupted. You really did open my eyes when we saw each other at Brownsville. I know God has blessed me with nice things. But I know He doesn’t want me to lose sight of what is important either. I need to see Him in everything. And if I do stay at the hotel, I want to be more giving. In fact, I’m going to take half my things and see who needs them more than I.” She acknowledged her dress. “Things like dresses don’t seem to matter as much as they used to.”
“Susanna, it’s all right to have some nice things. I only said what I did because I was feeling guilty about my aunt. I thought I had caused her death. You deserve to be dressed like a queen. I only wish I could offer you fine things—and more.”
She sank closer to him, feeling his warmth. “Jared, you have. We can pretend this is our castle with the walls around us. And you are my rider on his black steed.”
“And what would my lady wish?”
She giggled. If only she could tell him that she wanted to be with him forever.
Just then, their lights dimmed to a single flame. She froze. Fear washed over her once more. “Oh no, a lantern went out. That means the other will go out, too. Stephen filled both of them at the same time.”
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