by Zari Reede
Reggie fainted. Unaware of her lack of power on Earth, it was truly a wonder he lasted this long.
I tried to catch Sir Reggie, which was a massive mistake, since he was heavier than he looked. Rapunzel instinctively threw her arms around my waist. I would later be touched by the gesture when I had a chance to ponder it. Rather than halting the fall, the combined weight pulled ’Punzel down too. Thankfully, though, the thick Persian rug softened the landing considerably for Sir Reggie.
“Wha--what happened?” Reggie mumbled, not fully aware.
’Punzel and I had the breath knocked out of us, so no answer was forthcoming.
“Mmm,” Reggie said, turning his head back and forth where it lay between my breasts. To my horror, he nuzzled his face farther into my bosom. “I knew you two maidens would succumb and come to my bed. I gather you reconsidered my generous offer--or perhaps, you both realized how endowed I am of fortune and girth.” Reggie made a purring sound.
He obviously thought us someone else. As he turned his head, I saw his eyes were still closed, and a deliriously happy smile graced his features. Rapunzel wiggled on top of me, letting out a piercing scream.
“Get your repulsive, clammy hands off my posterior!”
From the sound of disgust in her voice, I was glad I hadn’t ended up on top of the dog pile. Rapunzel slapped furiously at Reggie.
“Hey, watch it!” I yelled, trying to keep my face away from the smacking. “You’ll hit me!”
With a fierce smack, Reggie’s dream abruptly halted. Reality engulfed him, and he stiffened at the sight of Rapunzel’s contorted rage.
“Get her off of me!” he squealed frantically. “Get her off! She’s killing me!”
He heaved to one side, tumbling both ’Punzel and me off him. Rapunzel rose to her knees, slapping for all it was worth, but obviously had no knowledge of hand-to-hand combat, so the dwarf escaped any major damage. Not that you could tell from his high-pitched shrieks. He scuttled back under the piano, still yiping like an injured pup. I rolled away just in time to see the carpet darken beneath Reggie’s squatted form.
“I am not cleaning that up,” I muttered.
“Well, I most certainly shan’t.” Rapunzel gracefully stood and offered me her hand. As she tugged me upright, she said, “And I say we leave that toad in his hidey hole!” Then she brushed at her clothes, raised her chin, and strode to the kitchen.
I wasn’t sure what to do with the ORBs multiplying in my care. I needed to get in front of the council and have them change their ORB exterminating policy. I needed help. As long as I kept these beings safe here on Earth, Jim and Sam would be left to their own devices on Ortharos. It wasn’t ideal, but I didn’t understand what was going on and, no matter what was happening, on Ortharos, I couldn’t bring myself to extinguish innocent ORBs.
I left Sir Reggie under the baby grand and found the rest of the household in the kitchen, finishing the last bit of potato chips and a jar of pickles. I laughed at the way the prince took a bite and then squeezed his eyes shut. ’Punzel sat sucking on a cherry popsicle, making her perfect bow mouth a bloody shade of red. If possible, her ruby red lips made her even more enchanting.
I stood in the doorway with one hand resting on my hip as the other pushed back my wayward chestnut brown hair. “Harry, any luck with getting through to the council?”
“Not yet, Mindy.” Eyes downcast, he moved away to the pantry and removed a box of Fruity Loops. Rapunzel waved him off, shaking her head with a grimace. I tried not to laugh--must have remembered the roof of the mouth effect. “The phone line has been down for hours and I’m not sure how else we can contact them, besides driving to ISMAT. I don’t think that would be safe, since you barely escaped this morning,” he warned.
“Hmmmm.” I looked up studying the tin ceiling tiles, wondering when they had been added to the old home.
“Why don’t Harry and I go into the city and bring Chief here. After seeing how everything is going so smooth, he couldn’t deny you are right in your cause,” Mom suggested from her place on the kitchen floor next to Grrrlec.
“I don’t know, Mom. You can’t really call the last few hours smooth and the chief has never been a fan of mine. He pretty much campaigned to have Harry put off the force, so you can see my hesitation. The chief isn’t right as rain, if you get what I’m saying.”
“I don’t think we have much choice, because the phone may be off for days if someone took out a line, and we don’t have days to keep tallying ORBs.” She smacked her leg as if she were a judge with a gavel, pushing herself from the floor. “Come on, Harry, let’s go.”
Harry smiled at the prospect of taking a drive with my mother. Under any other circumstances, I would be happy if Mom and Harry ran off together, but the idea of being alone with three ORBs didn’t appeal.
“What the...” Sir Reggie had found his way to the kitchen just in time to witness ’Punzel finish off her pop and smile with red lips and tongue. His mouth hung open in mid-speech, as he dropped to the floor in another faint. Geez, this time, I let him go. I was not getting molested again.
I directed my gaze to ’Punzel’s wicked grin. “While we are waiting for the phones to come back on, why don’t you tell us more about your friend Reggie?”
Chapter 39
Jim
Instead of following us inside, Sonic swung Nostril into the wagon and slammed the door shut.
“Hey! What the heck?” I banged on the door. “Hey!”
Sammy tugged on my arm. “Daddy.”
Little Nostril’s one eye was overflowing with tears and her chest heaved in an effort not to bawl.
I turned away from the door and knelt in front of the girls, placing a hand on each of their shoulders. “Hey, cuties. Sonic has probably barred us in for our own protection and will be back soon.” We staggered when the wagon moved. “Or she’ll be back later. Buck up, my beauties.” I chucked them both under the chin and ushered them to the bench nestled into the wall of the wagon. I saw Nostril had her dolls. I gestured to the toys. “Why don’t you two tell me about these babies?”
“Dad, they aren’t babies. They are princesses, who were turned small by an evil sorcerer.”
I listened to the tale of the miniature princesses, narrated by the two girls, with Sammy translating Nostril’s contributions for what felt like a century. In reality, it was only enough time to get us to the gate of the fortress.
With a sharp jerk, we halted.
“Shhh...” I put my finger to my lips and cupped my ear to the door. There was a brief clamor of fighting and then the sound of gates creaking open.
A voice that sent shivers down my spine hissed, “They are ours to command?”
“They are mine to command.”
I recognized Sonic’s voice, but her English was much better than she had led us to believe.
The second voice was gravely and low. “The potion in the Cyclops warriors’ well water has made them susceptible to orders, be it yours or the necromancer’s.”
“They are Cyclops. Women rule here and the necromancer is male and has been remiss in only raising undead males.”
“What of the king?”
“We became lovers after my first menses. He will follow. Those most loyal to the queen, who didn’t drink the potion, were directed to the borders of the land. Let blood flow here, undead demon. But I rule this corner. Your necromancer is welcome to the rest.”
“Foolish woman. I have no loyalty to Liotte. I am bound as you, but you are too stupid to realize it. You receive a tiny key to rule your little speck of the world in exchange for your warriors to march on Rhineguard--those who think you their allies.” The awful, unearthly voice howled, “The necromancer has need of Rapunzel, his apprentice. Her tracks end here. Where is she?”
“The crazed princess breached the fortress, then disappeared within and never emerged.”
“Where? Where did she enter?”
“The queen’s chambers.”
“The
necromancer will want to speak to her then. It is of upmost importance that Rapunzel and Liotte be reunited. The queen is trapped within? What of her spawn?”
“The daughter is trapped with the strangers in this wagon.” I assumed she referred to me, Sammy, and Nostril. “The boy Blinked. The girl should be sufficient in encouraging my sister to be forthright.”
“You speak well--for a Cyclops.”
“You speak well--for a demon corpse.”
I heard movement and the rare outcry. Little Nostril was crying and Sammy was barely contained. I don’t know how much they understood, but the derision they got. I hugged them closer. Nostril stiffened but only for moment before clutching me as close as Sammy did.
“Okay, girls. We’ve got some trouble, but it will be okay. Samantha, your mom is a bad ORB exterminator extraordinaire. Nostril, your mama is queen. You girls be strong.”
Now if only I could.
We sped back as the door flew open, and a glazed-eyed Cyclops waited as we exited the wagon. I wished I could carry both the girls, but I could have only managed one, so we all marched back to the queen’s chambers.
I pulled the girls close and covered their eyes so they couldn’t see Fodjes’s loyal guards’ slaughtered bodies. Sonic strutted forward to face the queen. “One minute--one minute you, my twin, who preceded me. You didn’t want to rule. While I studied, you played in the woods. Fate will be corrected. I should have been first born!”
Okay, Sonic has gone bananas. Both the girls cried harder.
Fodjes smiled sadly and with regal calm said, “It’s Kwang, isn’t it? You know a queen has no choice. He, the strongest male, is always king.”
“I love him and yet you--you married him.”
“I only was with him to produce children. He’s been yours ever since. Perhaps not in name, but in all that matters.”
“Too late! You will die. The necromancer will take over all except the Cyclops lands in exchange for our might. I will have my Kwang and rule.”
Fodjes gasped when the undead entered. “What unholy alliance have you made?”
As a strip of skin peeled off the necromancer’s creature leaving a moist strip of oozing, yellowed flesh, it croaked, “Enough. Answer. Where is Rapunzel?”
“She Blinked.” The Queen’s voice was ominous.
Dead dude seemed taken aback. “My master will wish to question you further.” He turned to the drugged guards. “Lock up these four in the queen’s chambers.”
“But these are the royal rooms. They are mine!” Sonic protested.
“Yours when Liotte is satisfied. Gather your forces. Kill the remaining Cyclops who resist. You have an army to lead to Rheinguard before you have completed your obligation.” The door was bolted shut. Fodjes and I held armfuls of weeping children.
“You have a sister,” I pondered. “Lots of sibling rivalry, I guess?”
The queen spoke to her daughter. “You must be brave. The times my sister thought I played, I learned many secrets needed to be queen. All is not lost.”
The queen removed a leather-bound book from her massive case. The wall swung open revealing a passage.
I grabbed Samantha’s hand and made for the exit. “Cool. Let’s go.”
“No. This leads out of the castle, but still within the walls of the fortress. It is but a decoy. Now, listen. There are steps that open an escape that leads to far outside the fortress. It is very dangerous. The other two steps are decoys. This is the first.”
“Oh, great. So, they’ll think we went this way, but we aren’t.”
“When I tell you, close the secret wall and push the book back into place.”
Fodjes went to the window Rapunzel had entered. She reached under the sill with both hands and appeared to play a piano upside down. The sill tipped open revealing a rope ladder. She flipped the ladder over the sill, rushed to the oversized fireplace and pushed three bricks. The floor lowered to expose stairs.
“Now!”
I slammed the wall shut and shoved the book into place. The queen gestured me forward, and I walked down the stairs with the two girls following. The queen followed, closing us in. An odd light illuminated the staircase. “When they return, they will believe we escaped out the window and waste time searching that area.”
“Hurry, quietly.”
“Why not just hit the hidden staircase right away?” I asked.
“To open it, you must activate first the shelves then the window, in that order. Only then will you be able to open the steps beneath the fireplace. The window ladder is still activated but the book case is no longer open. They cannot follow. It is a perilous trip we make. Monsters dwell here, but my people at the border are loyal and need warning as well as those of Rhineguard.”
Chapter 40
The Witch
“You dare tempt my wrath? You fools!” I cried out in fury.
I used the stall tactic to make them reconsider their ill efforts and take their attentions away from Max.
He taunted our capturers and was increasing the likelihood that we would be killed. Hawking up phlegm, he spat in the face of the ring leader whose hand crept to the hilt of his dagger. They would sooner be rid of Max than deal with further insult, but because of his odd dress, they knew not if he was worth a large ransom, or merely a servant. The hilt of the dagger came down hard across Max’s temple, rendering him unconscious.
“If you know my identity as a witch, then you must realize I may wield a curse to capture your ragged souls and trap them outside of your living shells until hell freezes over. Then I will send the necromancer to resurrect your thieving carcasses, to spend eternity serving his evil!” My voice tittered on in hopes to distract them from beating Max to a senseless pulp.
“Shut up, witch!” the leader bellowed, with his hand raised above my head. I trained my eye on the scar above his temple and did not flinch. He lingered in contemplation then barked orders to his men. His lackeys trussed us up like pigs for roasting and then unceremoniously tied us to the stolen wagon’s back board. I knew this, because of the Cyclops queen’s crest emblazoned on the side. The horses pulling the cart were too fine for these brigands. I wondered how they managed such a quest without getting their own throats cut. Things must already be in a heightened state, if they overtook Cyclopes’ property without a scratch. I would have made inquiries into the matter, except that a dirty cloth secured with a rope gagged me. Max was out cold by my side, and I was unable to communicate.
I didn’t know where they were taking us, but they skirted the outside forest so the wagon could be carted along. We moved farther away from the Cyclops fortress, and the undead army that surely lie beyond the valley. A shiver of dread ran down my spine and I searched through all I could remember about natural herbs and roots, making note of which I could gather to cast a paralysis spell when they made camp.
Hours passed and my bladder cried out for relief, but my muffled screams were ignored. I tried to nudge Max awake with my bound feet and jabbed an elbow in his ribs. Finally, he moaned and his lashes fluttered. I worried about the time he had been incoherent. He may suffer from a bruised brain, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. I needed him awake and alert, so we could attempt to escape. Wasn’t he supposed to be a special agent?
“What? Hmm,” he mumbled.
Curses seeped through my dingy rag and he jerked, suddenly awake. Looking at me, then all around, he assessed the situation. Two men, engaged in conversation, rode guard behind the wagon, and the ring leader was somewhere out front. Max realized our predicament as he struggled against the ropes. Knowing the futility, I shook my head at him. He struggled once more, grimaced at me, and finally settled. A few minutes later, his hand squeezed mine. My eyes widened as I looked at him. My ropes loosened by something that felt like cold steel. Of course, he possessed a knife. I wondered why he didn’t use this earlier, but they outnumbered us five to two. The element of surprise would be better. He held the rope firm in my hand and I understoo
d he wanted me to remain as if I were still tied. He brought his legs up to his torso and looked calmly at the brilliant stars of evening. The guards noticed Max’s consciousness and studied us. I had no tricks up my sleeve. They rendered me of my cloak which contained the clays and vials. I was powerless without a weapon to wield in my own defense, and none of the potions I imbibed at the castle would help me here. The council wouldn’t negotiate with brigands for my release. I had to find my way out of this. Sir Reginaldo would surely let me rot.
The wagon jolted to a stop, and the men made camp in the cloak of night. I stayed in my position of deception and noticed Max’s attempt at an opossum’s game with his feet tied. When they came to drag us from the wagon, I held fast to the ropes that bound my hands, so they wouldn’t detect my freedom. They tethered us to a tree and left us in the darkness to our own devices. Max waited silently until they ate and drank their fill by the fire, and moved off to slumber. I thought I might pass out from the pain of my own needs being ignored so long. The animals drank, feasted, and yet they neglected to offer us the smallest sip of water. I loathed their existence, but when Max finally took action, releasing us, I pulled him farther into the forest, instead of slitting their unworthy throats.
“It will do us no good to take their lives this night,” I whispered in hushed tones as I raced through the brush.
“Those thugs would have gladly slit our throats, and I don’t savor running into them again. I say we do Ortharos a favor and take them out.” The fervor in his voice told me he wouldn’t let it go.