CHAPTER 23
I don’t need magic, I need your arms around me at 3:29 am when the dark is too much. I need you to be real when nothing else is. - A.R. Asher
Jenna
A few days have passed since Dmitri found out about my son, but he didn’t say anything to anyone. He’s keeping my trust.
The clubhouse is having a party; it’s Friday and everyone’s having a good time. One of the brothers has a friend named Liza who is a psychic-medium who’s been going around giving everyone readings.
“Hello there,” Dmitri purrs into my ear, coming up behind me, his left hand wrapping around my hip. I love it when he touches me there.
“Hello yourself. I missed you,” I tell him, turning around. He bends down, and I kiss him with all my might, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulls me closer to him.
“I missed you too, girl.” Dmitri’s been gone the past couple days on MC business. I hated that they sent him.
Spart and Max come up to us, wagging their tails, and they growl at Dmitri. “Those two are the biggest cock blocks ever.”
“Only if you let them be that way.”
I pull on his cut, so his lips are back on mine. He shoves me against the counter, his hands roaming over my body, one hand gripping my ass. I let a soft moan out into his mouth. He pulls away suddenly, kissing me on the forehead. “Gotta stay for the party, just for a bit.”
“Dmitriiiii,” I complain. “You just got back, I’m sure they’d…”
“Babe.” One word, and I know to drop it. He takes my hand in his as he walks to the empty seat on the couch next to Daisy and Seamus, pulling me down onto his lap. Not that I am objecting. I slide my arm around his neck, gently massaging him. “It’s not happening, love.”
“Ugh, you’re killing me,” I grumble into his ear as his hand slides over my leg, stroking me. “Do you know how wet I am right now?” I whisper… “I’m soaked.”
“I bet you are,” Dmitri chuckles. I smack him on the chest.
Liza comes right up to Dmitri, and I pull a chair in front of us. “Your father has a lot to say to you, Lionheart.” My eyes widen. No one knew that nickname for me, I could throw up and cry at the same time.
“O-okay.”
“You should have left, you shouldn’t still be here. He’s very angry with you. He says that you shouldn’t be consumed with this, with righting the wrongs of the past. He’s mad you’re wasting your life on this….revenge.” I notice how brothers were turning to listen to what Liza was saying to me “He’s mad that you changed your appearance, you changed who you are. You aren’t you. You’re the person you created years ago.”
“He’s damn right I’m not the person I was, that girl is gone, that day destroyed her, she doesn’t exist anymore.”
“Your dad disagrees, says she’s right in here.” Liza taps on her chest, right over her heart.
“No, that girl is dead.”
“He’s telling me that you’re waiting for something that may never happen, it’s been this long, and it hasn’t happened, why would it happen now?”
“I’m not going to give up, not on this.”
“You’re true to your name, you are full of courage and bravery.” Dmitri grabs my hand and squeezes. I look to him, my eyes welling a little with tears. He kisses my cheek as we wait for Liza to continue. “The pain you’ve both had to experience in your life will help you heal each other, your coupling is a good match, a very good match. Your father likes him. You were destined from the start. It’s no mistake that you were both brought here, that you’ve stayed this long, that Elena asked him to stay…you’re soul mates.” All the brothers break out into laugher, but Dmitri and I exchange a look, neither of us smiling, or giving any indication of what we are thinking, but it would make sense. It would explain why we feel the way that we do, it just flows.
Suddenly my face becomes hot, and I start fanning myself. “Your father is touching you, that’s why you feel warm. He is saying that you need to live your life, you can’t right the wrongs of the past because he’s gone. For years he’s watched the hate consume you, you need to give it up for yourself, for Wyatt…and he…he doesn’t blame you for what you were forced to do. He’s glad you did that for him, you showed him mercy that he wouldn’t have gotten. He thanks you for giving him that painless death, he commends you for your strength, you have always been the strongest one, the bravest. Your father loves you so much, I can see that very clearly.”
I cry, cry harder than I have since my nightmare. Dmitri pulls me closer to him, wrapping his arms around me. He presses kisses to my cheek and forehead
.
CHAPTER 24
Chaos is an angel who fell in love with a demon. - Christopher Poindexter
Jenna
I look over myself in the mirror, smoothing over my jeans. They are tight against my body, and Dmitri comes up to remind me of that, his hand sliding over my ass. I can’t help but smile even though I want to pretend to be angered by it, that he just comes up on me like that. I find it hard to be angry with him at all anymore, though. I have entrusted him with so much, and he has yet to let me down.
I turn around and pull him to me, grabbing his cut so that he is forced to put his lips on mine. We are about to head out to go to Sherry’s. I have never dared to do this before, bringing a man home, but I am doing it with Dmitri. I am so nervous, nervous that Dmitri and Wyatt won’t get along, nervous that Sherry will say he is not good for me. Though, not much can deter me from him now. I am stuck with him, and I am happy to be stuck. What has fuck happened to the secretive, club whore Jenna? Maybe she is finding that little part of Tegan that’s left to cling to, the one that deserves a future of some kind, even if she does still have to kill an ex MC Prez in cold blood.
I let him go and lead him out, heading straight for the lot, but he pulls me by the hand and drags me into church instead. I am not sure why until we walk in, and I see that Elena, Reed, Enzo, Dais, and pretty much everyone else important has gathered in there. It’s for a reason.
It’s for Kyle. He is home.
When I see him, I run to him, pushing through the crowd of people around him to land in his arms. Sometimes, I want to tell him who I am, especially at times like these, because he doesn’t understand exactly why and how I love him so much. He is family to me; him and Reed both. It is so hard to believe that they are genetically half of the scum of the Earth that killed my father, that ruined my life. They deserve this club in a way he and his old cronies never did. They make this MC shine.
“I can’t believe you’re back. How did you even get out like that, especially after taking the deal?” I lean back to look up at him, my arms still loosely around him. He smiles down at me, but I can still see how tired and thin he is compared to the Kyle I am used to. He is going to need a little while to feel normal again. He is about to answer when I just squeeze him again. He has plenty of time to tell his story. “Never mind, I am just glad you are here. We can talk about it later,” I tell him, and he chuckles.
“Gee, if I thought everyone would be this happy to see me, I would have gotten myself put in jail a lot sooner,” he teases, causing me to slap him on the arm.
“That is not funny.” I am still smiling, though. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. “Look, Dmitri and I have plans, but I will be back tonight, and we will celebrate,” I tell him, and he wiggles his eyebrow at me to tease me.
“Dmitri and you have plans, huh?” I give him a look and grab onto Dmitri, practically dragging him out of there. Kyle can tease me once I am good and drunk on some delicious vodka. For now, I need to get to Sherry’s on time. The last thing I need her to think is that Dmitri is the type of guy to be late for a family meal. It already feels like there is so much riding on this.
We get out to the car, which I insist on taking. I don't want us to pull up on a bike. I don't need Wyatt thinking that is cool and getting into it. I want him so far away from the MC life that he is on another planet. He will
never go through this, not if I have a say. And, honestly, that would be the other reason this is a secret. Wyatt would have no normal childhood if he was known as the heir to the club’s throne.
Dmitri pauses and looks at me, coming around to open my door like the gentleman he is proving to be under that hard, secretive exterior of his. He may be dark, but he knows how to treat a woman still. “I have never seen you so nervous. I don’t think I have really seen you nervous at all about something. This is really important to you, isn’t it?” he observes.
I don’t answer, but it’s not like he doesn’t know what that means. My silence is practically an admission, along with my jittery body. It feels like my nerves are running away with me. I am going to need a good run tonight which means he will have to come with me.
We get in the car and begin the drive. I turn up the AC, feeling extra hot today, and not just because of the Tennessee heat. I am sweating from the pressure of all of this. Dmitri knows Wyatt is my son, which makes this so different from just bringing a guy home.
“Everything will be fine, kotenok. I will be on my best behavior.” I can’t help but notice the smirk that is on his face as we pull up to the address I gave him.
There is an undertone in those words, and while this is so not the time for that, it helps calm me and take my mind of the nervousness and pressure surrounding this meeting. I don't know what to do if Wyatt can’t stand him. Wyatt is the single most important human being in the world to me, even if Dmitri might be becoming the second, nothing and no one trumped my son.
When we knock on the door, it is Wyatt that answers. “Just friends. Huh?” he teases me before looking over to Dmitri. “I don’t think you bring just a friend to the family barbecue.” He nods his head to Dmitri all cool like, and I try not to laugh. Wyatt is always trying to act like a little man, and it is both endearing and tears me apart. He is growing up too fast. “Nice to see you again,” he tells Dmitri, though I can tell he is sizing him up. Suddenly, he holds out a fist, and the two fist bump.
He opens the door all the way to let us in, and I giggle as I rub the top of his head. “Since when do you fist bump?” I ask him as I pass by, smelling the barbecue in the backyard already. The door is open, and the smells are wafting through the house. It smells so familiar, and I am transported back to a simpler time, a simpler person, one who had a mother type to look after her after all the trauma she went through. It was a time where I was not quite as obsessed with my perfect persona.
“Since when do you bring men home?” he counters like the smart ass he is. I love him for it, though. How can I not when he gets it from me?
I just shake my head and follow him out, standing in the doorway and taking a deep breath in as I get a look at the small crowd. There are a few other family members there; Sherry’s two siblings and their small families. At least I didn’t have an overwhelming amount of people for Dmitri to meet. I don’t know how those people with 100 or more relatives handled that sort of stuff.
I feel Dmitri squeeze my hand with encouragement, and we both step onto the grass together. I haven’t seen Sherry for a few months with everything going on, only able to pick Wyatt up a couple of times and have a meal with him. Looking at her as she approaches us, I can see some signs of aging I didn't notice before. I feel guilty for not being able to get here more often, but my life was complicated. She knows that.
Sherry surprises me by pulling us both into a hug, and we both laugh at Dmitri’s face as we pull away from each other. He clearly wasn’t expecting that, and it’s a total photo op because it’s laughable the way he is caught off guard right now. “So, Wyatt tells me you have a boyfriend,” Sherry states, getting a little nosy without having to say anything. It is a talent, at least, that’s how she refers to it. It makes me smile, and it feels much more normal than I expect, being here with my adoptive family and Dmitri. For just a little while I feel like I am not a part of two MCs, that I am not hiding my identity, or the fact that I had a child as a young teen that came of raped by a prominent MC Prez. I just feel like a young woman having barbecue with my family, introducing my boyfriend to them for the first time. It is so refreshing.
I get up after eating to go wash up, having had a blast so far, laughing at my uncles’ jokes and talking to Sherry and Wyatt. The whole family has taken turns asking Dmitri questions and testing him. He has taken it well, especially for such a secretive man. I am proud of him. I don’t realize I have been followed until I reach the bathroom door and feel the tap on my shoulder. I turn around to find Sherry there, smiling at me. “Sorry, I was coming in to pull out dessert, and I wanted to just tell you that I really like him, even though he does look a little scary.”
That makes me laugh, truly laugh. From an outside point of view, he would look scary. “You know what, I really like him too.” Sherry smiles at me and rubs my shoulder affectionately, a feeling I have missed trying to keep my distance all these years as much as I can. I almost forgot what the touch of a parent can do. I don't know why I was so worried.
When I come out of the bathroom, Dmitri is in there this time, waiting on me to get out. There is no one else in the house, and he pulls me into his arms, kissing up my neck. I feel myself getting very warm, and I can’t believe he is doing this here. I am about to push him away when he comes up to my ear and begins to whisper. “I am so proud of you, watching the way things are here and how happy Wyatt is. You are a good mother for doing what you did, adopting him out and keeping the truth for him. I can tell by the way you are with him that you wonder, but you shouldn’t. That is true love, what you have done for him, kotenok.”
I suddenly want to cry for two reasons; one what he just said to me. In my heart, I always wonder if I have done the right thing. Surely, I could not have raised him so young, but it was painful not letting him know I gave birth to him. It had to be the hardest sacrifice I ever made, to let someone else claim to be his mother.
Secondly, I know right now that what he is talking about, true love, that I feel it with someone else too. I shouldn’t tell him. I really shouldn’t let him all the way into my fucked up, bandaged up heart. I don't even know who I am in there anymore, Jenna or Tegan, and it is an ugly mess, but I can’t stay silent anymore either. Not after all we have been through. It feels so right. Not perfect, but perfect is not what I ever want anyway. I am too fucked for perfect. I’ll take Dmitri’s mess any day.
“Dmitri,” I whisper, not able to look him in the eye, even as I know he is looking over me. “I feel that about you too. It scares the shit out of me, but I can’t lie and say I don't feel that anymore. Damn it, I love you.” I finally look up to him, afraid that I might find something there less than what I feel, but I am taken aback when I don’t.
He presses against me gently, having me up against the wall like he always does before kissing me, but it is long, it is passionate, and it is soft. I can hear the husk in his voice when he finally tears himself away, both of us knowing they will be looking for us out there.
He stays close to me, whispering again in my ear. I want to be somewhere private right now and mentally kick myself for choosing right now, right here to tell him this. I want him to take me and show me he loves me too. “Ya lyublyu tebya. I love you. Let us go have some dessert, then, we can talk about this at home.” The way his hand travels lightly up my body when he says it lets me know just what he means, and I don't think a lot of actual talking is going to be involved.
CHAPTER 25
she wore her darkness like some girls wear a little black dress. - jw
Dmitri
I walk into church having left Jenna in my room to sleep in. We spent all last night and into this morning finding new ways to connect to each other physically after our mutual confession of love at her adoptive mother's barbecue. I don't think I have ever felt that way about anyone. Never thought I would be able to say that to someone. Saying it to Jenna, though, just seemed so natural. It flowed off my tongue like melted butter. It was just so easy
. It's been easier than I ever expected to fall in love with Jenna. And watching her with her son yesterday just made me feel even more for her.
I see that everyone is talking and hanging around Kyle, as they should be. We are all glad to have him back, but there is also a man who has just walked in that I do not recognize exactly; an older man. Though, there is something familiar about him.
I watch the way he interacts, sitting close enough to hear what is going on but not close enough to be actively brought into the conversation. That's when I hear it, as Reed and Kyle turn to him and call him 'Dad'. The man before me must be the old Prez of the club, a Michaels. Now that I look him over, I see the resemblance. He especially looks like Reed, with his long, whispy, dark hair and mustache. Considering how old the man must be, he still looks handsome and in good shape, though, when he smiled, there were crow's feet by his eyes. His eyes, there is something about them, more than their age. There is something in them like the kind of darkness Jenna and I have. No, it is more than that. It is actual darkness. It is more of something that Jimmy had, something that Sergei has, and it is strange to see this in the man that raised Reed and Kyle.
He starts to laugh and joke, mingling with all the members, and I decide to watch and study his movements and listen to all the old stories he’s telling. I am analyzing, sitting here and waiting for the confirmation I think I am going to get when my girl walks in here and sees him. I also calculate what to do if I am right about this, if my gut is telling me the right thing. It explains everything, but man does it make is fucking complicated too.
It is two hours later when she comes in, and everyone is still schmoozing, almost to the point of a party, sitting down with beers in hand. The tone is light, remembering what it was like to have him as the Prez as well as praise for Kyle being back.
Knox Brotherhood Page 40