The bus door opens quickly behind me, I hear the heavy combat boots and am instantly relieved to find out it’s Slash and not Butch. “Damn, babycakes, you sure know how to use those itty-bitty legs you’ve got there.”
Evie catches a good look at him, glancing at me, then Slash. “This is who you’re staying with?”
“Well, me and my brother,” he tells her.
“You’ve got a brother…”
“Long story, we’re in an MC. We’re here to watch over this lil’ angel. Basically, I need every sort of security clearance that you can give me, Blondie.”
“We have a security team. Call me Blondie one more time, and I’ll shove my Louis Vuitton so far up your arse, you’ll be screaming for your mum to yank the fucker out.”
“Evie…” I murmur quietly, not wanting to give her more details then I absolutely have to. “Can you please make sure that they get the proper clearance that they need? I need them to be close by…please.”
Evie glares at Slash, but I know that she’ll give in. She always does when I need something. “Fine. I’ll give your tattooed wanker the proper security clearance and make sure the rest of the guys know; but we’ve gotta talk, missy. You rolling out of Summer’s office like that stirred up a little bit of shit, and I’ve heard a nasty rumor that we’ve better get handled as soon as possible.”
“I had to do a bit of damage control yesterday, imagine my surprise when I found out that you stormed out of Summer’s office. She was very offended by your irrational and rude behavior, and personally feels insulted.” Evie accentuates the words, telling me that she knows it’s bull hockey just like I do. “I did what I could, and the only way to make sure she doesn’t slander your name any more is to have a one on one interview with you. Face to face, no limitations on questions, and it will be streaming live on her Facebook page.”
“Why would you agree to that?” I snap, my anger seething out of me. “Why in the world would you agree to that? You know what she did. She is the catalyst for everything horrible that has happened to me. She…she worked with Zac to ruin me!” I scream at Evie like my very life is being threatened. I feel achy, my hands and legs are shaking, and it takes every ounce of me not to walk across the floor and rip her extensions out of her head.
“I did what had to be done. You don’t quite understand that because you don’t deal with this side of the business. It’s my job to do what’s best for you. It is my job to make sure that we not only think about you but your reputation as well. Agreeing to do this on your behalf was a way to shut Summer up, a way to make sure that she didn’t drag your name through the mud yet again.”
“She’s going to drag my name through the mud when you let her do that damn interview!” I yell, tears threatening to pour out of my face.
I hear the bus door open and in comes the cavalry.
“What the hell is going on in here?” Syd asks,
“Miss Perfect is making a damn scene, oh, how I’m so shocked,” I hear Miles say, and it sets me over the edge. Any filter that I had is now gone. There is no fight left in me to handle Miles’ attitude combined with Evie’s actions.
“Shut your fucking mouth before I make sure it stays that way,” Slasher hisses out to Miles. I grab his forearm, and he looks at me, almost as if he’s waiting for an order, for a confirmation to lay it into the dick, or to stop. One look and he knows not to engage, that’s not what I need, nor want right now. To be honest, I just want some damn peace and quiet.
“Care to tell me what the rumor was about, Evie? Or are we just going to talk about that next time?” Evie and I have a love-hate relationship. In my heart, I know that she makes what she believes is the best decisions for me. The only thing is that she isn’t me, so she doesn’t realize how things make me feel. She also doesn’t understand the constant pressure of having to deal with everything I have the last year. My name has been tarnished so much and the only thing that I’m trying to do is build is back up, brick by brick. Needless to say, this isn’t the first time that Evie and I have gotten into a blowout fight. I can guarantee that this won’t be the last, either.
“My friend gave me a heads up that more nudes leaked.”
“What?” I ask, shocked beyond belief. There was no possible way. NO possible way.
“I haven’t seen them yet, but I will within the hour. Did you…”
“No! I didn’t send anyone nude photographs.” I cry out, pacing back and forth.
“Shit, Bell,” Syd mutters.
“You need to see if I have my tattoo,” I tell her, “You have to see. Promise me you’ll look. They…they won’t have the tattoo Ev’. I…Oh my god…I didn’t…I swear to you.”
“I know you didn’t take more photographs. You learned the first time, and honestly, we all know it’s that fucking wanker, Zac, trying to fuck up your lovely career. Wait until I’m through with him, I’m just trying to find a way to tie him to everything, sweets, and once I do, he’ll wish that he never even heard the name Bellamy Mason.” And this, right here, is exactly why Evie is my manager.
She is harsh, a stone-cold bitch, and ruthless as fuck.
She’s what every musician needs in their corner because at the end of the day it’s sink or swim and Evie, boy does she make sure that I fucking swim.
***
“I’m sorry for the way I told you about the interview. I probably could’ve passed along the news a little easier,” Evie chuckles, sitting down next to me on a couch at the venue we’re performing at tonight.
“Being warm and fuzzy has never really been your strong suit,” I admit, laughing next to her. “You know, there’s a reason they call you the shark”
“I’m a great white, bitches!”
“Yeah, you sure as heck are.”
We’re both silent for a moment. This happens every time we get into a spiff, there’s always this weird couple of minutes were neither of us know exactly what to say to the other. I thought that we’d grow out of it, but it continues to happen.
“My source sent me the photos, and you don’t have your tattoo – which I suppose is a good thing, and a bad one. Zac’s doing it again.”
I sigh heavily, knowing that I have to tell Evie about the text. Quickly, before I change my mind I grab my phone, unlock it and go to my messages. Pulling it up quickly I show her the messages. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”
“I was ashamed, could you really blame me?”
“Yes, I can damn well blame you! This is solid evidence that he threatened you. If he does anything, we can use this in court and he can go to jail for years. This is revenge porn. This isn’t some low charge. This is a felony. He has no fucking clue”
“I don’t want him to leak this, Evie. The photos are one thing, it was so horrible to go through. You know, you saw me crumbling when they came out…. what everyone said about me. What they still continue to say about me every single day. What do you think a video will do? It’ll make it worse. How will my reputation ever recover from something like that?”
“The same way Johnny Depp bounced back after his scandal with Amber. The same way President Clinton survived the affair with Monica. My point is, this kind of shit happens every single day. Your sex tape will not be the worst thing that ever happens, it will only feel that way to you for a time, and then we’ll move on. The important thing is that I know about the situation and we now have a leg up for whenever it does leak. This…right here, is evidence. Solid. Concrete. Evidence.”
“It’s a gun pointed at my head with a loaded bullet, Evie. That’s what that is, and I hate just standing around waiting to get shot.”
“There’s only one answer then, and I highly advise against it.”
“What?”
“Leak it yourself. We can either have full control over what happens, or we can wait for Zac to do it and then press charges against him. Those are your options, and honestly, I’d love to see the bastard suffer for everything that he’s done to you. There
aren’t many people I wish would rot in jail, but Zac is one of them, and that little bitch is gonna scream like one in the slammer.”
There’s a light rap on the door and in comes one of the guys. “You realize you’re up in less than 5 right?”
Crap! I jump up off the couch and dart out, following him through every turn, up every stairwell until I’m backstage. I thank goodness that I always make sure I’m changed into the proper attire well before it’s time to sing. As he adjusts my mic, I mentally prepare myself for the very high that I live off of.
The crowd.
The energy.
The hoots and hollers.
At the end of the day, this is who I am. I’m not a victim, or some woman scorned.
I’m Bellamy Frickin’ Mason, super talented bitch.
CHAPTER 11
Your fingers entwined slowly with mine, and suddenly, life made sense.
-Perry Poetry
Butch
Watching Bellamy perform was so much more than I ever envisioned it to be. I partly thought that the hype surrounding her was just based on what I’d heard about her nude photos being leaked. Who knew that the girl had undeniable talent? Shit. She’s hot as fuck and talented. Every moment I’m with her I’m becoming more and more fucked. The kicker is that she doesn’t even know how much I want her.
Today I plan on changing that, I want to take her in ways that she’s never been taken before, showing her exactly just how much I want her.
Bellamy and The Stones performed last night, and we’ve got plans to leave in just a couple of hours, heading towards Pittsburgh. We’re lucky in the sense that it’s only about a five-hour trip, and the weather couldn’t be better. It’s still in the mid-seventies, which gives us a great day of riding ahead of us.
I’m sitting in the chair off to the side in the hotel room that Bellamy, Slash and I are all sharing. My phone starts to buzz quietly, as I lift it from the bedside night stand I see Elena’s name plastered across the screen.
“What’s up?” I ask her immediately.
“Nothing. I’m just checking in, to see how things are going and all that,” she mumbles, a nervous wreck if I’ve ever heard her.
“You’re a shitty liar.”
“Yeah, well you’re shitty period.” There’s a good ten second pause before she begins to speak again. “Is everything going okay?”
“It’s going as good as it can. Luckily for me, your sister is a pretty chill girl.” I wasn’t lying, I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Every word that I told Elena was nothing but the truth. There are definitely parts of Bellamy that I don’t know, I’ve only known her for a few days. It’ll take much longer than that for me to get the full picture, to get to know everything there is that makes her tick the way that she does. I guess part of me that I’m still struggling with, is the fact that I want to know more about her. I haven’t wanted that since my ex. Deep down, it scares the shit out of me. I’d be the first to admit that I have trust issues, especially since I put all my trust in one woman and she let me down on the most important day of my life – the day that was supposed to be the beginning of our life together.
“I…yeah. I don’t know much about her yet, and I’m hoping that you guys can bring her to the Halloween party in a few days. Can you? I’d love to get to know her more. Please try to get her to come. If she can’t, I totally understand, but I’d really like the opportunity to get to know my sister. So, please try to convince her that I’m not as awful as I was the first time I spoke to her. Ugh, I was such a bitch.”
“When are you not a bitch?” I chuckle into the phone, waiting to hear Elena berate me. Her giving me shit reminds me of home. I may have only been gone a few days, but that doesn’t take away the fact that I’m already home sick.
“What have you found out about her?” Elena asks me. I think a moment before I speak.
“She’s been through a lot, maybe a lot more than we should ever go through, but despite that, she continues to follow her dreams; she’s relentless.”
“I’m relentless, am I?” Looking over to the left I see Bellamy’s eyes glued right to my body. I don’t know how much she’s heard, but from the looks of it, she’s heard it all.
“Your sister’s on the phone,” I tell Bellamy, handing her my cell as I rise from the chair. The only thing that I want to do right now is getting some air. Somehow, the room felt as if it was closing in around me. I grabbed my cigarettes off of my duffel bag and head towards the balcony. At least I can smoke in peace out there.
With every drag of the cigarette, I become more and more restless. Usually, smoking has the opposite effect. It makes me wonder why I’m so antsy. What in God’s name is making me like this? Is it something within me or is it the mere fact that there is something I can’t explain when it comes to this girl?
Maybe it’s fear.
Fear because I want her, and I shouldn’t. Fear because this girl has no idea what it’s like on my side of the train tracks. She doesn’t have the knowledge or understanding to know how dangerous I am, or even being tied to me is. Does it make me an awful person that even though I know she doesn’t acquire the ability to truly understand what the MC life is…that I still want to pursue her.
It’s not just her looks, it’s her aura. The energy that floats around her. Fuck. I sound like some jackass who thinks he’s found his soul mate.
But what if I have?
There’s only one way for me to find out, and it won’t be by smoking a cigarette and avoiding her.
***
Bellamy
“What is that look on your face for?” Evie asks, smiling like the Cheshire cat. She caught me red handed. I was thinking of Butch and I in the woods, how his lips felt against my own, the way he held me in place like I was his little rag doll, and good lord, the things he said to me. No matter what I do, I can’t get him out of my mind. I just want more. The only thing is, I’m not sure if he does.
We’ve both talked a bit since then, and especially last night when we had our heart to heart – if that’s what we can even call it, but he didn’t make a move, he didn’t try to kiss me or fuck me.
I’d pretty much figured out that if the man wanted to, he would have. But why didn’t he?
I shouldn’t even be thinking about this crap, that I know. I should be getting some work done, thinking about the name for my album, lyrics, something. Basically, there are a lot of things I should be doing instead of daydreaming about that caveman and how it felt to have his paws all over me.
“Just getting some new ideas for songs,” I lie, now trying to come up with something quick to tell her.
“What kind of songs?”
“A revenge song,” I blurt out, not fully thinking about what I just said. “I…I want to write something that other girls can listen to after they’ve been betrayed by the one person they never thought would do it to them. I want them to relate, and to know that they aren’t alone in someone completely destroying all of their trust, and…”
“And?”
“And I want them to know that even though they’ve been through something and think that they may never trust or love again, that they will, and when it happens – it will be the most beautiful thing on the planet.”
I’ve just shocked myself. No way did I have plans to do anything like that, but now I’m here…with a great idea. Something that will help thousands of girls who may not have gone through exactly what I did, but something similar.
I spend the rest of the long journey to Pittsburgh with my headphones in, writing lyrics down on my notepad as they come. A lot of musicians can’t write their own music and end up enlisting a ghostwriter or even co-writing. I can’t relate. No matter what has ever happened, I can always find a way to pull together some lyrics for a song. One of my favorite things about myself, is the authenticity of my music, and luckily my label loves that part about me as well. They’ve never once encouraged me to add another collaborator into my creative process, trusting that I�
��ll come up with the songs that speak to me the most.
I have spoken with Jase about co-writing a song, and we’ve been putting ideas together the last couple of months. I’ve put a spin on it, and it’ll be a surprise single that releases a few weeks before my album, of which I still need to decide on a name. I’ve been getting pressure from Evie to figure it out because we have to get a start on the cover art and branding for when I go on my tour.
I’m hoping that by the end of the tour we’ll have a solid game plan on exactly what it is that we’re going to co-write. I immediately think of a love song, because…who wouldn’t? Honestly, I’m my own worst critic. The songs that I have released are about the boys at the bar, death, or going out with the girls. I am early in my career, and yeah, maybe singing covers is how I was discovered, but I have plans to dig deep into myself for this album.
It’s my debut, and I want it to scream everything there is to know about me. Every dark and dusty part of me I want to showcase because my past isn’t just part of me, it’s also my inspiration.
CHAPTER 12
She’s never seemed shattered; to me. She was a breathtaking mosaic of the battles she’s won. -Anonymous
Butch
“I’m calling dibs.”
I know I heard him right, and still, I have to ask, “What did you just say?”
“I said, I’m calling dibs on that sweet ass little thing we’re sharing a room with. Hands off, brother.”
One look from me is all it takes. Slash and I have known each other for years, and never have I ever argued with him about a woman. Bellamy is different, this girl has been mine since the moment I laid my eyes on her, and I’ll be damned if Slash doesn’t know that.
“You’ll do one thing, and one thing only. If you so much as come near Bellamy I will make sure the rest of your face matches your name,” I hiss, determined to get him to leave her be. She’s mine, even if she doesn’t quite know it yet.
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