Kandy gasped, turning her head and tugging her T-shirt down where I had slid my hand up to palm her breast.
We both looked at Lora, who was grinning like a fucking loon. I stepped back and Kandy slid off the counter, fighting the biggest blush I’d ever seen.
“Lora,” I breathed. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I told you I was coming by to use the hot tub again, Q.” She had a tote bag on her shoulder, and indeed, she was wearing a swimsuit cover-up. Lora had a hot tub where she lived, but she didn’t like staying around the apartment for too long. Apparently she needed an escape from Mama’s overbearing ways. “But, of course, when it comes to mouth-fucking someone, it’s easy to forget shit like that,” Lora went on.
She walked by the opposite side of the counter, dropping her bag on the middle of the four-top table in the corner. She walked to the fridge and opened it while Kandy stepped closer to me, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ear.
“She’s your sister,” Kandy whispered.
I looked down and nodded, and Lora turned back around, smirking at us. “Cane, I have to admit, she’s fucking adorable. That family photo didn’t do her any justice.”
I rolled my eyes. “Go to the hot tub, Lora.” I reached for Kandy’s hand, ready to leave the kitchen and take her someplace more private, but Lora yelled, “Wait! I want to talk to her.”
“She’s having a rough day. I’m sure the last thing she wants is to be hounded with questions from someone like you.”
Lora gasped, pressing a hand to her chest. “Someone like me? What a dick-ish thing to say! I am one of the best people on this fucking earth.”
Kandy laughed a little.
“See, she thinks I’m funny. And besides,” Lora went on, opening the bottle of water in her hand, “she’s a grown woman. Let her speak for herself.”
I looked down at Kandy who shrugged and continued to smile. See, this was the only downfall of having family around. They invaded my space, my privacy—everything. Though I was grateful to have them back in sound mind and body, they were really starting to get on my fucking nerves.
Honestly, it was Lora bugging me more than my mother. My mother had her own hobbies. She attended AA meetings, still sought therapy, was learning how to crochet, and was constantly baking to take her mind off of old habits. Lora on the other hand, didn’t have shit to do other than annoy me.
“You want to talk with her? You don’t have to if you don’t feel like it,” I urged, looking at Kandy.
“No.” She smiled at me then put her focus on Lora. “It’s okay. I’ve always wanted to meet her.”
“How fucking sweet.” Lora put on a shit-eating grin and I narrowed my eyes at her.
“Don’t say or do anything stupid, Lora. I mean it.”
“What?” She threw her hands in the air, a guilt-free gesture, but her eyes were too sparkly, her smile mischievous. “I just want to get to know the girl who has my brother wrapped around her young, little finger. Is that so bad?”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” I gave Kandy my attention. “I’ll be in the office in the den,” I told her.
“Okay,” she murmured.
Lora placed her water bottle down and walked around the counter to meet with Kandy. “I’m not big on formalities or introductions, so yes, I’m Lora, Q’s sister, and you’re Kandy, Q’s obsession. Nice to finally meet you!”
I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose and walking out of the kitchen. “No stupid shit, Lora! I mean it!” I yelled over my shoulder on the way out, just as Kandy broke out in a laugh.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
KANDY
I could understand why Cane was so nervous about leaving me alone with Lora. She had no filter whatsoever.
She asked me to come out to the deck with her. While she relaxed in the hot tub, I sat on one of the pool chairs, my legs crossed, watching as she sipped from a bottle of wine. Yes, the actual bottle. Apparently she’d had a rough week and needed to unwind.
I thought it was strange she wanted to use the hot tub before we came out, but of all the times I’d been to Cane’s house, I’d never really given much notice to the smaller hot tub that was sectioned off by a glass door and glass windows. I always thought it was a pool house or a garden room, neither of which intrigued me.
The windows had fogged up a lot when she started the heated pool. “So tell me, Kandy Jennings,” she sighed. “Why do you like Cane so much? He told me you’re nineteen. God—I remember those days,” she sighed. “So young. So naive. I had no idea what the hell love even meant.” She looked at me with eyes that I swear were just like Cane’s. Calculating. Observant. Hers were grayer, which made them colder and more intimidating than his.
In fact, they had a lot of similar traits. They could have passed as twins if Lora’s hair wasn’t dyed a bold aqua. She had sleeves of tattoos on her arms, just like Cane. She even had one on the inside of her wrist that said RISE. Hers was in a pretty script font, more feminine than Cane’s, but it was the same word and seeing it made me utterly curious about the meaning of it. Apparently, that one word was very important to them.
“For a lot of reasons,” I answered as she looked me over before taking a gulp of the wine again.
“Like?” she pushed, eyes expanding.
“Like how he’s always there for me—has been since we met. He’s always respected me and since I can remember, him and I have had this deep understanding and connection to one another.” I struggled for words, trying to find the right ones to use. It was always harder to explain why you loved someone when you were put on the spot. “He was supposed to be like family to me—I’m sure it’s what you’re thinking—but I never saw him as family.”
“Well, what did you see him as?”
I shrugged, lowering my gaze. “Someone I knew I couldn’t have.”
“Shit.” She took another drag from the bottle. “You are pretty fucking deep for a nineteen-year-old.”
“Does my age bother you?” I tilted my head.
“Me? Psshh, not at all.” She placed the bottle down then moved to the side of the hot tub closer to where I was sitting. She rested her elbows on the cement edge and smirked. “To me, age is just a number. It doesn’t determine anything in life other than being able to vote and buy liquor. When love hits you, it doesn’t care about age or color or even if it’ll hurt. Love is fucked up, man. But it’s real. There is no denying when it’s present and when I look at Cane, I see that. I didn’t think it was real for him—thought maybe he was in it for the lust—but seeing him just now with his hands all over you and the way he looked at you before he left the kitchen gave me all the holy shit feels. I have never—and I mean never—seen him like that with a girl and he’s had so fucking many.”
That made me frown. “He has?”
“Oh!” Lora clamped her mouth shut and pretended to lock her lips and throw away the key. “Not, like, a lot,” she went on, and then she rapidly changed the subject to one that I really wasn’t up for discussing. “Is your dad still pissed about finding out about you and Cane?”
“Oh, I’m certain.”
“I heard what that skanky bitch Kelly did. I told Cane I could punch her right in the nose and make her bleed when I first saw her, but he told me to stay calm and to keep my hands to myself.” She let out a ragged breath. “I hate her. I really do, and there aren’t many people that I hate on this earth. She’s stringing my brother along like a fucking dog, trying to get him to bend and break for her. I hate seeing him in such a bind and if she didn’t know so much, I’d beat her ass.”
“What does she know exactly?” I asked, hoping my question came off light and harmless.
Lora glanced at me before pulling her eyes away. “A lot of shit, Kandy Jennings.”
“Like what?”
“Just…shit. She’s a psychotic bitch and he needs to whack her upside that narcissistic head of hers and leave her in a ditch in the middle of nowhere.” She climbed out of the hot tub, grabbing her towe
l and wrapping it around her, securing it at the chest. “And don’t ask me what all of the shit is,” she went on, like she knew the question was running through my mind. “He told me you’d be coming home for the holidays and made me promise not to say anything to you about it. I’m tipsy and shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place. My bad. But…I’m sure if what you guys have is real, he’ll tell you eventually. He’ll have no choice.”
“Is it bad?” I asked, pushing off the chair and standing.
She shrugged. “To me, not so much. But I can understand how it could be bad and a big deal for someone like you. You didn’t grow up the way we did, so it’d be harder for you to understand why he did some of the things he had to do. Sometimes we did things we weren’t proud of just to survive. When I think about it now, I don’t blame him for taking certain routes.”
Wow. Well, then I hoped what he and I had was real because now I really wanted to know. I mean, even though we’d settled with being together in private, I did have my moments of doubt. What if he could never get rid of Kelly? What if she kept coming back to tempt him and ruin him? Would I be strong enough to stay in a secret relationship with him, knowing I couldn’t do anything about it? Not only that, but Cane had so many secrets and so much mystery surrounding him, it felt like every day, I was finding out something new about him.
Though I despised Kelly with a passion, she was right about one thing. Cane was a man with many, many layers, and what he had deep down probably wasn’t pleasant.
I was almost afraid to find out the truth about him because a part of me knew it would determine whether we would stay together, or leave each other alone for good.
Chapter Thirty
KANDY
Lora announced she was going upstairs to shower. While she did, I shuffled around in the kitchen and living room. I heard clicking coming from Cane’s office and knew he was hard at work. Though I had a thousand questions running through my head, I decided to let him finish and find me when he was ready.
I went back out to the hot tub and twisted the knob to turn up the heat. There was still a chill in the air that definitely made goosebumps run across my skin, but I was certain that with the heat of the pool, it would make for a relaxing time.
I didn’t have a bathing suit. At this point, I didn’t care. I stripped out of my jeans and T-shirt, folding them and placing them on the chair I’d been sitting in previously. All I wore was a pair of nude panties and a bra to match.
Since being in college, I had more freedom with my wardrobe. Whenever Morgan or Gina wanted to go to the mall, I always made a pit stop at a lingerie store, hoping like a madwoman that Cane would give me another on-campus surprise and I’d be prepared the next time. It didn’t happen, but wishful thinking was what got me through the long days after he’d left.
I sank into the hot tub, allowing the heat of the water to consume me. It felt amazing.
Twenty minutes passed before I heard the patio door slide open. I looked back and Cane was walking toward the pool house. He opened the door and came inside. His hair was messier, his burgundy tie undone, hanging loosely around his neck. His shirt was unbuttoned at the collar, his belt missing. God, he looked so good like this—so appetizing. A small smile swept across his lips when he spotted me, his shoulders relaxing a bit.
“Did my sister influence you?” he asked, stopping at the edge.
I smiled, probably a little too hard. “She may have.”
“She has that kind of power.” He looked around, like he hadn’t seen the inside of this little pool house in months. “She didn’t say anything crazy, did she?”
I shook my head and laughed. “No.”
“Hmm.” He took a step back. “It’s kind of chilly today. Listening to my sister will have you as sick as a dog.”
“Not at all! It feels good. You should get in with me, let go a little.”
His eyebrows shifted up. “Not gonna happen.”
“Come on. Please?” I begged, moving closer toward the side of the hot tub he was standing on. “Ten minutes with me in a hot tub. Think of how much fun we’d have.”
He chuckled. “Very tempting, but I have more work to do. Just came out to see if you were hungry.”
“Hungry for you? Yes.” I smiled harder. “Come on! I dare you to get in.”
His smile was coy as he looked away, like he couldn’t look at me for long or he’d break out in a laugh. “Your age is showing,” he said, dropping his head.
I brought a hand out of the water to flip him off.
“Fine.” He stepped back and started unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. “Ten minutes.”
“Really?” My heart pounded. He was going to get in. He was undressing too. Holy shit.
I watched carefully as he finished with the buttons of his shirt and pulled it off. During the whole process, his eyes were locked on mine. Tossing the shirt and tie aside, he kicked off his shoes and unfastened his pants, sliding out of them too. All that was left were his boxers. He came closer, bending down and sitting on the cement edge to snatch off his socks. He slinked into the hot water, eyes glued to mine.
“For the record, I’ve never lost a game of truth or dare,” he said.
“I see that.” I swam toward him, locking my arms around the back of his neck.
I studied his face, but mostly his eyes. When I looked at him, I couldn’t figure out how he had so much in the world against him. I mean, his eyes were sincere, but maybe that was only for me. Because he loved me. But for the world to be fighting him and backing him into a corner seemed wrong. He was a good man. I could feel it…or maybe I was only seeing what he wanted me to see.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, lips brushing across mine.
I chewed on my bottom lip before answering. “Because…we get to do stuff like this again.”
“Ah.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “And I get to hold you like this? And kiss you wherever I want without anyone stopping me?”
“Yes.”
“Still feels wrong to you?”
“Sometimes,” I admitted.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “Me too.”
“Why for you?” My brows stitched together. Cane didn’t need to feel like this was wrong. He and my dad were no longer friends. Nothing was stopping him anymore, other than empty threats.
“Because when I see you, I think of D…and when I think of D, all I can remember is how much hurt was in his eyes that night he came here to confront me. I hated it—still hate it.” His throat bobbed. “The respectful thing would be to stay away, show him that I do care and respect him…but that shit is hard for me when it comes to you.”
I knew this topic pained him, but I couldn’t help feeling satisfaction when he spoke those words. How was this man so weak for me? How could I make him lose sight of right and wrong? Make him feel guilty and bad for wanting me?
“Perhaps I’ve broken you,” I answered.
“Broken me? How?” His brows dipped, curiosity burning deep in his eyes.
“Well, before we became a thing—before the lake house and the office—it was easier for you to stand by your morals. Easier for you to ignore me, keep a distance. But after becoming this,” I breathed, my lips hovering over his, “maybe having me broke most of your morals—your standards. Maybe being with me leaves you broken and complete at the same time…however that works. I know exactly how that feels because sometimes I feel broken too. Like we discussed at the lake house…when we’re together, it’s like nothing else matters. But when we’re apart, all of the demons start to pop up and reality is shoved into our faces and it’s harder to breathe—harder to think clearly.”
“But when we’re together,” he crooned, “thinking doesn’t exist. And that’s how it should be. When you’re with someone you love, they are your escape from the madness of the real world. With you, I have broken many rules and many morals and many standards and sometimes that wears me down…but I’ll be damned if it stops me from havin
g you.”
A shiver shot down my spine and goosebumps spread across my skin like wildfire. He ran a hand up my arm, but didn’t question the outbreak sweeping over my skin because even he knew that his words were powerful and raw and real and they were much needed in this very moment.
Moments ago, I had my doubts. I was questioning a lot of things about us, and even though those thoughts were still whispering, his voice was louder and so much clearer.
“Is Lora still here?” I breathed on his mouth.
“No. She left to pick my mother up from an appointment.”
“Good.” I pulled my arms away, swimming backwards. I brought my hands behind me and unhooked my bra, latch by latch. Cane’s eyes blazed with fiery hunger as he watched me, realizing what this was. He studied every movement until the bra was gone and I’d tossed it outside the pool.
“Kandy…you’re testing my limits,” he rumbled.
“I know.” I swam closer to him, my breasts on full display. “I like testing your limits.”
A feral groan came from the back of his throat and not much held him back after that. He reeled me forward, then tugged my panties down before lifting me up. Our lips locked instantly and I felt one of his hands drop to lower his boxers.
I moaned on his mouth and held on tight with one arm draped over his shoulder, as he lowered me back down, slowly entering me at a pointed angle. His lips parted, mouth wide open as my pussy wrapped around him.
“Shit,” he rasped.
A moan shot out of me as he held my eyes, bouncing me up and down on his thick cock. The water was still hot and with the movements, we both had sweat prickling on our foreheads and above our upper lips but we didn’t care. The water splashed between our bodies, fueling me.
I groaned as he sucked on my bottom lip. His upward thrusts were powerful and deep and they held meaning—I was his and he was mine. We were each other’s broken, fucked up mess and we loved it. We loved it so much it both hurt and felt good.
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