by Mia Ford
There wasn’t a whole lot to our little town, and I knew that was something that really got to Courtney sometimes. For me, a town that not only had the beauty of Alaska but also had a friendship like the one I had with Courtney was a pretty great place. This was what I was busy thinking about when Courtney spoke again and totally derailed all of my thoughts for the rest of the night.
“You know, there was another pretty interesting topic of conversation last night.”
“I’m sure there always is,” I said, trying not to take the bait.
“Right, but I think this was one you might find of particular interest.”
“Okay, I’ll play along. What was the topic of conversation?”
“Neil Driscoll.”
It was pretty clear to me that Courtney had been going for a dramatic effect with the way she delivered her news. If that was the case, it totally worked. She delivered the news right as I took a bite of my salad, and I almost choked on a leaf of lettuce. It was so noticeable that our waiter actually approached our table, apparently prepared to thump me on the back until I stopped choking.
“No!” I managed to get out, completely mortified at the thought of him drawing even more attention to the scene I was making, “No, I’m fine, really. I’m sorry, it just went down the wrong way, I guess.”
“Are you sure?” he asked uncertainly, looking from me to Courtney and then back to me again. “You were turning pretty red.”
“She’s good,” Courtney interjected, taking mercy on me and doing the talking for me. “I just said something at the wrong time. You know how it goes.”
“Sure, sure, I know. Still, just wave if you need anything ladies, all right? Seriously, anything.”
I gave him what small smile I could manage. Courtney thanked him before the two of us fell silent while we waited for him to be totally out of earshot. Once I was reasonably confident that he wasn’t paying attention to us anymore, I looked at Courtney closely, trying to figure out if this was some kind of a weird joke, or if what she was telling me was the truth. When she didn’t crack at all, didn’t even blink, I knew she was telling the truth. For whatever reason, the conversation at her party last night had turned to Neil, the only boy I had ever said “I love you” to.
“Sorry, Fay. I honest to God wasn’t trying to mess with you. I just thought you would want to know.”
“But why were people talking about him? He hasn’t been back here in almost ten years, Courtney.”
“He came up because of his dad.”
“What about him?” I asked, trying to ignore the little shiver that went up my spine at the mention of Neil’s father. Neil and I had dated for most of high school, and by the time he left, we were pretty hot and heavy. His father had never been anything but cold when it came to our interactions.
The Driscoll family was beyond wealthy, and my mother had always told me that it was their wealth and our lack thereof that made him that way. But that didn’t make his chilly treatment of me any easier to take. I never had trouble getting along with people and getting them to like me. Neil’s father was the exception. Even after Neil was gone, the weight of his father’s dislike had been heavy on my shoulders.
“What about his dad?” I asked again. “I’m surprised that anyone at Rocco’s place would have much to say about Mr. Driscoll. I don’t think he ever had much to say about many of us.”
“He definitely won’t now. They were talking about him because he’s dead.”
“Dead? What the hell? How, Courtney?”
“I guess he had a heart attack. I’m not really too sure, but I know he’s gone. Neil just kind of came up because of that.”
“Is he okay? Where’s the funeral going to be held?”
“In Texas, I think,” Courtney said. “At least that’s what I heard.”
“That would make sense. That’s where most of Neil’s family lived while we were together. I would be surprised if they’d left. Jesus.”
“You all right?”
Courtney looked genuinely concerned now, and I assured her that I was just fine. In my heart, I wasn’t too sure. In my heart, I felt like I was being torn in half. I tried hard not to think about Neil too often, especially since I was sure that he wouldn’t even know me now if he saw me. Hearing him brought up this way made it so that he was the only thing on the planet I felt capable of thinking about at all.
Part of me was sure that I should just pick up and make my way to Texas. I should figure out where the funeral was and go there to be his support. His mom had died when he was a baby, and even though he hadn’t come back to visit his dad, I knew he was the only family Neil felt he had left. Now he would be alone in the world, with nobody to stand by his side and grieve with him.
On the other hand, it was entirely possible that I was the biggest idiot in the world for even thinking something like that. It had been eight years since Neil and I had seen each other. He was both incredibly good looking and unbelievably rich. The idea that he wouldn’t have found a girl to stand by his side was stupid and naïve. I knew it full well. There was nothing to be done by me, nothing but lie awake that night and think about Neil and the life the two of us might have had if the world had been a different place when the two of us had still been young.
Chapter 4: Neil
Texas always had a confused and mixed place in my heart, and I suspected it always would. It was the place of my father’s birth, the place he called home for the whole of his life, regardless of where he was actually living. I had grown up in Ashville, Alaska for my entire life. That whole time, my dad referred to Texas as his home anytime somebody asked. Hell, he would make sure to let people know he hailed from Texas whether they asked or not as if it gave him some kind of leg up on everyone around him.
There had been times when I was younger when I found myself actually jealous of the state, wishing my dad would talk about me with the same reverence he used for his home state. At the same time, the family ranch had always been one of my favorite places in the world to go to. I had many childhood memories of family vacations at that ranch, and they were things I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have traded for all of the world.
Because of those fond memories, being back at the ranch for the first time in almost a decade for a funeral made it feel even more like hell. I was here for my father’s funeral.
I stood beneath the endless Texas sky and listened to my father’s funeral service. The whole scene felt surreal. I was twenty-six years old, but until I had actually seen the jar of ashes my dad had been reduced to, a big part of me still believed he would live forever, just like a little kid would.
It was stupid, and I knew it, but stupid rarely stopped people. It sure as shit hadn’t stopped me. Even while spreading his ashes into the strong Texas wind, I’d hardly been able to believe that what I was doing was real. I had hardly been able to believe that my dad was actually dead.
“Jesus, Neil,” Brent said. “I don’t know what to say. I’m really sorry to hear about your dad.”
With a great deal of effort, I focused my eyes on Brent Faulkner, the man who had been my dad’s go-to person for as long as I could remember. He had always been my dad’s number two, essentially the next in line when it came to the business and the company.
For that reason, some people probably thought I had it out for him. That I considered him a rival or something. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. I liked Brent, and I’d always liked him. Even during the years when I thought everyone else around my dad and me was a complete asshole.
Brent had always been nice to me, and I hadn’t ever gotten the vibe that he was trying to do anything shady. I was glad to have him there with me at the funeral, especially because he was the only one there that I could stand at all. That was a pretty fucked up thing to think, considering that most of the other people standing around beside me were technically family. But it had been a long time since I’d considered them to be anything of the sort.
When I lo
oked at them, I was reminded of that scene towards the beginning of the movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Everyone milling around the casino lobby was a giant reptile dinosaur thing, and nobody could see it but the totally fucked up Johnny Depp character.
I hadn’t seen any of them in a hell of a long time, years probably, but I would have been happy never to see them again. I didn’t even have to talk to them to know they weren’t really at my dad’s funeral to pay their respects. They were there to grovel. They were there to offer fake condolences, and then see what kind of piece of the pie they could get their hands on. Even thinking about it made me want to kick somebody’s ass, which made focusing in on Brent all the more important.
“Hey, man, thank you for coming.”
“Of course, Neil! As I said, I’m very, very sorry. Last time I checked, everything was fine with your dad. This heart attack came as a surprise to everyone, I think. I know I always thought your dad was going to outlive us all, and my guess is that everyone else did, too.”
“I think you may be right about that,” I mumbled, looking around at the people who were family, according to blood. They felt a lot more like enemies.
“Don’t worry about them,” Brent said in a low, mistrustful voice. It made me feel better, just because it seemed to so closely mirror my feelings for the vultures circling my dad’s grave. “I already had nice chats with a couple of them.”
“Oh yeah?” I answered as nonchalantly as I could manage, feeling a wave of hatred run through me so strong it made me shiver. “Want to tell me a little bit about that?”
“Let’s just say there were a few people with a little more interest in your dad’s financial situation than they had any right to have. They had some questions for you, and I decided to step in and answer them instead. I hope that’s all right. Please tell me if I overstepped.”
“Jesus, no. Thank you, Brent. I’m going to wind up in jail if they try to milk me for money now. Do you know how long it’s been since any of them have seen my dad? I don’t think they’ve even spoken with him, for Christ’s sake.”
“No,” Brent said slowly, the tendons in his neck popping out a little as he spoke and simultaneously surveyed the little clumps of my family members standing around and eyeing us. “Unfortunately, that’s not true. I happen to know that first hand.”
“Tell me.”
My jaw clenched before he even started talking. By the time he was done, I was ready to set the whole worthless group of my dad’s remaining family on fire and take whatever consequences might come to me.
There was no doubt in my mind that if we were still living in the kind of society where justice was primal and in our own hands, I would be able to do whatever the hell I wanted to those assholes without having anything happen to me at all. Brent had several examples to give me of my dad’s charming family, but they all amounted to the same exact thing.
Over the years they had made as many attempts as they could get away with to take as much from my dad as they could get. Sometimes, Brent had been able to talk him out of it, and sometimes, he hadn’t been, but the requests had been there consistently. Those requests were the only times dad’s family had ever bothered to keep in touch with him, which solidified their spot as complete assholes in my book.
It did one other thing for me as well, something I had been kind of uneasy about in my own mind before coming to Texas to lay my father to rest. There was no question that I was going to have to go back to Alaska, at least for a little while, and that was a truth I was just going to have to find a way to live with. When it came to my dad’s company, though, my mind was well on the way to being made up. It would be my company, because that was what my dad wanted, and I knew it. But Brent would be the one to run it, and that was a good thing to have figured out.
It meant I could get the hell out of Ashville sooner, rather than later, and there was nothing I could think of that I would want more. The only thing that came close to competing was getting out of Texas and never coming back. That was something I was going to achieve the moment I left the ranch and drove my shitty rental car to the nearest airport. I was going to get on a plane, do my duties in Ashville, and then I was never going to fucking look back.
Chapter 5: Fay
Neil grabbed my face and pulled me to his mouth. His kiss was full of passion and lust. He paused, pulled back and looked down at me. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Neil asked me.
I nodded my head. “Yes.” I said.
Neil grabbed my head again. His soft lips felt so much better than I had remembered. His tongue circled mine. I found my body began to respond in ways I hadn’t realized would happen. My panties felt wet and my nipples were hard. They brushed gently on the fabric of the white t-shirt I was wearing.
Neil slid a hand under my shirt. Guiding it up my stomach and to my breast. He grabbed it and I could feel his fingers finding my nipples. He squeezed and twisted it just a bit. I was surprised that it felt so good when he did that. He continued to kiss me, tasting me. He slid his hand back down my stomach and down to the button and zipper of my pants and undid them both. He slid his hand down farther, into my panties and then I felt his fingers on my clit. He began to move them up and down slowly and then around in circles.
“Mmm, Neil.” I moaned against his mouth. He pulled apart and helped me remove my jeans and shirt.
“You are absolutely perfect.” He said, observing me. Looking over my entire body. His eyes on me made me feel hot and bothered. “Lay on the bed.”
I walked the few steps over to my bed and got on. I laid down in the middle and looked at him. I wasn’t sure what to expect, as I had never done this before. I watched him remove his pants, his dick was huge. Bigger than I had imagined.
I watched him climb on the bed between my legs. He grabbed my panties and slid them down my legs.
“You don’t need these.” He said and flung them across my room. He looked at me as he reached down and with his thumb, proceeded to rub my clit hard and fast.
“Oh my God.” I said. The pleasure was intense and my body was involuntarily jerking as he continued to rub around my clit. He slowed his movements and took his hand away, leaving me wanting more.
“I want to taste you.” He said and I watched as he laid down in between my legs and pressed his mouth to me. He began to lick my clit. The feeling was absolutely sensational.
“That feels so good.” I said. He increased the speed at which he was licking me now. He moved his head as he moved his tongue, pressing so there was some force behind it. He stopped and looked at me. “You taste so good, but now I just want to feel you. Are you sure, this is okay?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, Neil. Please let me feel you.” I said, almost begging him. I was so turned on and wet. I wanted to feel more of him, all of him. I needed to feel every bit of pleasure he could bring me.
Neil laid down next to me. “You should get on top. That way you can go at your own pace.” He said.
I gave him a small nod and then straddled him. I slowly lowered myself onto him. I felt the head of his dick at my whole, pressing, trying to get inside. I lowered myself a little farther down and I felt him enter me a little bit. I braced myself for the pain as I lowered myself even more, but there was no pain. Only pleasure.
I lowered myself all the way onto him and I gasped from the pleasure.
“You’re so tight.” He said.
I moved my body up and down, bouncing on his large dick. It was an almost indescribable pleasure. The feeling of him fully inside of me, my body moving with his, was amazing. It was pure ecstasy.
“This feels so good.” I said to him as I leaned forward and placed my hands on his chest to get a good grip. I moved my body up and down, allowing myself to slide on his dick.
Neil wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me forward. He began to fuck my pussy with his dick. He moved himself so quickly that I thought he might burst through me. And then he stopped. “Bend over” He said to me and I
nodded my head in response. I moved myself off of him, which was almost torturous. I wanted to keep riding him
I bent over in front of him and I felt him slide a finger inside of me. He moved it around, slowly causing me to wiggle my ass a little bit. He pulled his finger out and then I felt him pressing into it.
He leaned into me and whispered, “Tell me how bad you want it.”
“So bad, Neil. I want it so bad. Please fuck me.” I begged.
Neil pushed and I suddenly felt him inside of me. He moved his hips, thrusting in and out of me. He started moving faster and faster. He had me calling out, my body was tensing.
“I’m gonna come.” Neil said as he thrusted harder and deeper inside of me.
I felt myself getting closer, a build-up of pleasure that had been slowly building up for years now. I felt myself on the edge of the most beautiful orgasm ever and suddenly I rolled my head back, closed my eyes, and began moaning so load. I was having my first official orgasm and it was the best feeling of my whole entire life.
The sound of my alarm going off, startled me from my sleep. I sat up, disoriented and reached for my clock to shut the noise off. I was panting and sweaty. But I felt so relaxed. I thought about the dream I had just had. I was having sex with Neil. It had felt so real, though I wasn’t really sure what sex felt like, I had an idea. I was also, ninety-nine percent sure that I had just had an orgasm from a dream.
It had been almost two weeks since Courtney had told me about Neil’s father passing away. I hadn’t been able to get the conversation out of my head. I hadn’t been able to get Neil out of my head. It was more than a little bit unnerving after spending years trying to achieve that very thing.
Even now, trying to get ready for work, I could feel him in the back of my head, trying to make his way up to the front again. It was a place he’d occupied for quite some time, for several years after he’d made what he liked to call his “escape” from Ashville. It felt shockingly natural to let him come right back to it again. That was something I couldn’t let happen. It was awful, what had happened to his dad, but that didn’t make him any more a part of my life now than he had been before Courtney had told me what happened. I would do well to remember it.