“Goddamn it, Edge,” she moans as her hips start to move. I lay my hand on her stomach to still her.
“That’s it, baby. You want to come?” I lick her clit as I watch her eyes open and shut in ecstasy.
“Talk to me.”
She doesn’t say anything yet bites her lower lip and nods her head yes.
“Fuck, you taste good.” I spread her lips open more so I can fuck her cunt with my tongue. In and out until I feel her submission. She’s lost the battle and she doesn’t even know it. Her hips arch up as she wraps her hands in my hair and the room fills with her moans.
“Oh God, I’m going to—” She arches into my mouth… and I stand.
Her eyes bolt open as I look down at her taking in her dark hair on the white sheets, full tits rising up and down, rock-hard nipples, and dripping cunt. She’s like a dark goddess and I inhale her scent while I jack myself off in front of her, her nails making a scratching sound as she claws at the sheets.
Dolly’s lips part and a groan fills the room as she whispers, “Please, Edge.”
“You ready to lick?” She blinks as if she can’t quite understand me.
“Oh my God.” She sits up and then falls back as if she thinks I’m stupid. She doesn’t even get her hands anywhere near her cunt before I lower my body on hers, my face inches from her flushed lips.
“Do it, Dolly.” Her eyes caress my face; they look almost feverish as tears pool in them, showing me her frustrated need. Slowly she licks the dried saliva from my cheek.
I turn and take her lips and kiss her. She mumbles that she hates me but kisses me anyway as I take the tip of my cock and rub her swollen nub. In a moment, she starts to convulse. Not giving her time to think, I ease my cock inside her walls and think that no matter what happens, I’ll never need another pussy if I can have hers.
“Jesus,” I grunt as I pump into her, my hands lacing with hers. It’s slow and with each thrust, I go a little deeper until I can feel that she’s ready to come again.
“That’s it. I’m going to watch you come all over my cock and I’m gonna fill you up.”
“Edge… Oh God,” she screams. Her pussy latches on to my cock as it pulses and grabs it tight. My balls tighten and my climax builds. She’s my greatest love and my biggest downfall, but none of that matters as my body jerks and fills her up with my hot seed.
“Fuck,” I hiss. The closest way I can describe this feeling is euphoric. I stay inside her when I should pull out. She’s dangerous for me, but I can’t seem to quit her.
Dolly reaches up to touch my lips and I stare at her. We don’t have to say the words. We don’t have to do anything but be. It swirls around us, the connection we both need.
I’ve gotta break it. It’s clear she’s going to speak and I’m not ready yet. Pulling out bit by bit, I kiss her forehead and reach for my cigarettes. She turns to her side, maybe to see my next move, maybe to get a hold of her own emotions.
We’re connected now. I stand, light up, and gaze at her. Edge and Dolly, neither of us complete without the other. Have I forgiven her?
No.
Has she forgiven me? Fuck no, but she sighs and snuggles in the bed peacefully and I walk to the phone to order room service. I don’t need to ask her what she wants. I know, somehow. I always know.
I keep her with me.
Like a fucking junkie, I’ve locked us inside the room. But instead of hoarding and absorbing drugs, I bury myself inside her, letting her saturate my bloodstream.
The afternoon’s descending sun snakes into the room making me turn toward her. We passed out after we fucked all morning. Not once did we talk.
We let our bodies try to get rid of the craving we have for each other. I place a hand over my eyes as I block out the sun and feel her stir. She smells like us and I fucking love my scent on her. I roll onto my back and stare at the white ceiling, but instead of being happy and satisfied, I’m pissed at myself. Now that we’ve fucked all day, I should be done with this sick craving. She needs to go.
“Dolly?” I stand and reach for my cigarettes.
She stretches and blinks her doe eyes at me, which enrages me more. I don’t need a lying bitch in my life.
“Oh God, can you shut the curtains? The sun is right in my face.” She turns her back to me, her naked ass calling my name.
“Get up.” I toss her piece of shit silver dress at her; it lands on her face. Inhaling, I cross my arms as she bolts up.
“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”
“No. I have to check out and we’re done anyway.”
She blinks at me and cocks her head. “What the hell?” She laughs, but it’s bitter and her voice cracks at the end.
I can’t be near her anymore. She’s a weakness. I don’t have weaknesses anymore.
“Look, I wanted to fuck you, and I did. It’s over. Done.”
She tosses off the sheet and stands in front of me in all of her five feet two glory. Her hair wild, cheeks flushed, tits jiggling, and nipples hard. And I want to put my fist through the wall when my dick gets rock hard once again.
“You’re insane.” She grabs her dress from the bed, shaking her head at the wrinkled mess.
“At least we still have that in common.” I look out the balcony.
She starts laughing as in the crazy, I’m-going-to-lose-my-shit way she gets when agitated. And all I can think of is that she’s a liar, a bad person. She let me go to jail and never visited. But the thought of not keeping her makes me turn away in disgust.
“That’s perfect. Go ahead and turn away, Edge. Act like I don’t exist. It’s what you do best.” She pulls her dress on violently, then looks around the room. “I did everything for you my whole fucked-up life.” She points at me. “You have no idea what I’ve been through. All I see is judgment,” she yells, and angry tears form in her bourbon eyes.
“God. You’re such an asshole. You’re the liar and a cheat, not me.” She grabs a red pump and throws it at me. Of course it misses me and hits the silk silver chair. “Why? Why didn’t you once contact me?”
I reach for her and she twists away, but I couldn’t care less and jerk her to my chest. I’m naked, and a small whoosh comes out as she bumps up against my erection.
“What are you babbling about?” Cold dread goes straight to the pit of my stomach.
“I’m not babbling.” She pulls away, her face flushed. My chest aches.
“I’m stating facts. You, Edge. You’re the one who takes and then blames.”
“You’ve got to be kidding!” My head starts to buzz. “I went to jail for you. I would kill for you. And what have you done, Dolly?” I roar at her, causing her to jump but hold her head high.
“Nothing. You let me rot in jail? You let me fuck you without telling me you’re a fucking virgin?” I run my hands through my hair. “Jesus, Dolly. I would have made it so good for you, and you can’t even give me that.”
Her lips part but no words come out. She walks over to the chair to get her shoe. “You want to blame me so you feel better? Fine. But I’m not the bad guy. I think you need to talk to your beloved club.”
The room is silent save for our harsh breathing and the never-ending sound of LA’s traffic.
“The fuck are you saying?” She’s so magnificent in all her rage that my brain is slow to process what she’s telling me. Either that or I’m in denial.
She sighs and looks at the ceiling then straight at me. Frustration, pain, and regret, it’s all there and I almost take a step back.
“Jesus, Edge. I tried. From the moment you saved me from Troy, I wanted to testify. They locked me in my room. I tried to see you, and they said no.”
“They? Who the fuck is they?” I snarl.
“My dad. The club. All of them. I was told that if I tried to contact you, you’d get raped in jail.” She waves her hands around. “But like a fucking loser, I still tried. Unlike you,” she hisses.
My mind spins as I remember back to the numerous tim
es I asked Chuckie or Prez about her. All my constant questions about where she was, how she was doing. On and on and Shark and the Prez always said she was fine and that she had moved on. Or was busy in school. That she was free to contact me if she wanted. I grab my jeans and pull them on.
“Edge? What are you doing?” She reaches for my arm.
“Get ready. We’re leaving,” I spit out. My mind seems unwilling to face anything other than the idea that Dolly is to blame.
Not the club, my brothers. Everyone I love.
“Fuck.” I grab the lamp attached to the nightstand and rip it off. Rage. It can make even the weakest strong. I’ve lived on it. It’s what made me get up and stay awake at night.
They lied. They let me bleed. Let me lose faith in the one person I love. I throw the lamp off the fucking balcony and hear the satisfying sound of broken glass.
“Holy shit.” Dolly runs out to look down. She spins and holds up a hand. “It’s okay. No one is out on the sidewalk and you missed a car.” From the sound of her voice, she’s trying to remain calm while I’m seconds from tearing the sheets off the bed and tossing tables.
My breathing is harsh as I close my eyes and talk myself down, much like I did as a child when my pain and anger wanted to take over. I’ve worked hard to be the one who stays even, never flinching, never scared.
“Edge?” Dolly’s hand touches my cheek. Opening my eyes, I see the love and sadness in her eyes. “What are you going to do?” She sounds almost tired.
“Get dressed,” I snap, picking up her shoe from under the chair.
“You’re scaring me. Don’t do anything stupid or… rash.”
I turn to her and cup her cold cheeks. “This matters. We matter. I need to talk to your dad and Chuckie. I was led to believe all sorts of things and I want an explanation.”
Our eyes connect. I see the truth now.
She’s not lying.
The thing is I’m not stupid or rash. I know exactly why Shark and the club did what they did.
The question is do I allow it?
EDGE
Eighteen years old
“I think she’s crazy. No. I know she’s crazy. How can she be the mother of my baby?” David sits in one of the booths in our shithole strip club. He’s supposed to be helping me get it in shape so that it’s not that much of a shithole.
Unfortunately, he’s been here for days and all he’s done is fuck and party with the girls rather than help me with what I’m trying to create here.
I glance over my shoulder at him and take a swig from the bottle of Wild Turkey on the table. Those new neon lights I had installed wrap around the bar area. I’m checking them out to see how they work. Seems I can switch them to pink, blue, or purple.
“You didn’t wrap it up, man. I guess you don’t have a choice,” I say and wonder why I’m even bothering to talk to him. He’s high on cocaine and I’ve lost count of how much booze he’s consumed.
“Fuck.” He shakes his blond head at me, his silver eyes bloodshot.
“When’s the last time you ate?”
“I had a burrito this morning.”
I want to say that must have been yesterday, but why bother?
He keeps talking to me over the music. “You don’t understand.” His head drops down and he does another line of cocaine.
“Christ, aren’t you supposed to go to the doctor with her in a couple of hours?”
His middle finger comes up and I roll my eyes as he snorts into the other nostril.
“Fuck, that’s better.” He nods at me, then lays his head back on the red leather booth as he watches a blonde sway around the pole.
“I’ve got to cancel that appointment. I have to be at your patching-in ceremony tonight.” He says all this as he grabs for the bottle.
“Edge?” his voice is rough.
I stop testing the neon lights to look at him.
“I’m not father material. I mean, what the fuck?” I nod. He rolls his head back to stare up at the ceiling and seems to find the new strobe lights fascinating.
I’ve never seen him like this. David is a champion—as in he can fuck and do drugs all night and then get up and repeat it. But this Debbie thing is not good.
He’s not exaggerating; there’s something wrong with her.
I can get on board with wanting to keep an eye on your man. But she’s not right. Debbie was a mistake and now she’s determined to become his old lady.
Jesus, that could have been me. I can’t blame him for hiding out for days.
Chuckie had to call a private meeting to tell him to get his shit together. He’s our historian, and he needs to be documenting the club’s business, not hiding.
If David’s situation is any indication, that old saying When you play you pay is a lesson we all should learn from.
At least the club is coming along. I had a whole new sound system installed and painters come in and patch the walls. The place smells better too. It still needs new floors and plumbing, but one step at a time.
As long as we don’t get shut down by the ABC, I’m rolling with it. So far, the Dream Room is kicking ass. I glance down at David who looks to be trying to text.
We’re making money even with David falling apart. The Disciples are using it as a prime spot to launder chunks of money. It goes in one door and out the other.
“I’m happy for you, brother.” He slurs the brother part as he keeps typing, and I wonder if he’s even hitting the right letters.
“You and Dolly are happy.” He snickers and raises his hips to pocket his phone, then slumps back and slams his fist on the table causing a couple of bottles to fall. “Edge and Dolly, man. I’m happy for you.” He starts repeating himself.
“Okay, man.” I cut off his Edge and Dolly chant. “Let’s get you to the office and a nap.” We opened a little while ago, but he needs to sleep this shit off. I don’t want to have to deal with Debbie today, blaming me and the club for David checking out.
He looks at me as if I’m speaking a foreign language. I sigh and rub the back of my neck. I feel for him, but he’s got to pull himself out of this, even if it’s only for his kid’s sake.
“David, it’s gonna be fine, brother.” I sling his arm around my shoulder and pull his sloppy ass up.
“I’m proud of you,” he grumbles.
The DJ starts spinning “Cherry Pie” by Warrant. A washed-up redhead with not very good moves takes the stage. Even with the new lights I had the electrician install, she looks to be in about the same shape as David.
“Who is this girl? She’s a fucking mess.” I stop to watch her attempt to make a full twirl, her eyes almost shut.
David leans on my shoulder as he squints at the stage. “Georgia Peach.” He smiles and tries to point. “Or maybe Diamond?”
“Fuck, man. I rarely say this because I pride myself on not judging, but get it together.” I start to drag him to the office.
He pulls back and straightens. “I can walk.” Swaying, he grabs my chest. “Dolly, she makes you happy. She doesn’t suck the very life out of you?”
I almost say she has, and it’s always in the back of my mind. These last three months have been good. But I’m always waiting for the shoe to drop, for something bad to happen and have her taken from me. It’s morbid and a shitty way to live.
“Get some rest.” I kick open the door to our black office. This area hasn’t been painted yet, so it’s all black. I kind of like it though. Maybe I’ll keep it. We’ve already nicknamed it the Black Hole.
Maneuvering David close to the leather couch, I let gravity bring him down. He grunts out a fuck, then closes his eyes and moans as if he’s in pain but goes silent.
Despite two days of cocaine, the Disciples drug, and booze, even the mightiest need sleep at some point. “I got nothing, Edge… nothing but a fucked-up bitch who is trying to ruin my life,” he mutters and starts to snore.
I lower myself into the chair I got on sale at Staples and swivel around to my comput
er screens. My phone vibrates. I pull it out and stare at Dolly’s picture. I took it a month ago when I surprised her with a night at the beach. We fucked in the sand. Skinny-dipped in the ocean.
I snapped this shot in the morning when she was walking out of the ocean, her face glowing, her hair wet, and her face full of love.
The most beautiful woman in the world.
“Hey baby.”
Loud music plays in the background and she yells over it and into my ear causing me to smile.
“I’m so excited. I’m almost finished, and I’ll be done for the day.”
“Babe, you don’t have to yell. I can hear you.”
“What?” she yells “Hold on.” I reach for my cigarettes and prop my boots on the desk.
“Edge? Are you still there?” Her voice is raspy and my cock hardens. The music is gone. I’m assuming she’s outside.
“What time did you want me to get you?” I growl. No matter how many times I fuck her, it’s not enough. I’m not even trying to pretend I’m normal with her.
“I’ll call you when I’m done. It shouldn’t take long.”
This is it—what I’ve been waiting for my whole life.
Getting patched in.
Besides Dolly, getting this has been an obsession. It means I’m a brother in every sense of the word and this is my life, what I will be, what I am.
I will live as a Disciple until the day I die. I know Dolly still struggles with it, but if she wants me, then she needs to wrap her mind around the fact that this is it.
Hell, I was gonna wait, but I might go ahead and make her my old lady tonight.
“Dolly?” The phone is silent.
“I’m here. I was thinking about stuff that doesn’t matter anymore.” Her voice is a little less enthusiastic and I drop my boots to the floor as I lean forward, my elbows on my knees.
“You okay?” I inhale deeply.
“Yes.”
“You sure? I need you to be sure. Otherwise, don’t come tonight.” A small whoosh comes through the wire and I know she’s getting pissed. She likes to get all sassy when she’s on the phone and knows I can’t throw her on the bed and fuck her.
Repent (The Disciples Book 3) Page 15