by Alexis Angel
Teagan is a sweetheart and when she was like hey you wanna read I was like looking at the tagline and thinking, I should probably be writing tonight. But the guy on the cover was scrumptious and now it's like 4 am and I just finished and I'm all hot and bothered and I figure I'll call my friend. He was actually asleep but I texted twice. He didn't understand why I was calling so late (seriously when the booty call partners fall asleep, you've been staying up too late reading too long).
Anyways, I'm probably not gonna wake up in time tomorrow, so I'm just writing to tell you I'm okay. Don't worry, you'll hear from me in the afternoon, but if you wanna know why I'm gonna sleep in - this is why below lol.
Hugs and kisses and lots of love,
Alexis
100 bucks 4/9/2017
$100 in Amazon smutbux is a whole lotta O's...ya know?
Did that rhyme? LOL!
And, for the first time, even if you're not on Facebook, you can participate! Yay! I know some of you guys have been blowing up my mailbox saying oh no I don't trust FB so how do I get in on all your stuff that you do? So this way you totes get in and win some Amazon gift card maybe! The details are below.
Like, 100 bux can get you 100 novels that are priced at 99c. Like that's like having sex with 100 guys. Imagine what that's like just for a moment!
Like two hundred hands. 100 cocks. 100 tongues. Uhm, I'm a teeeeny tiny excited but also kinda scared hahaha.
Like, do they stand in line. Because this isn't like a menage or anything where you reach over and grab one guy's zipper and get him all excited while another guy is kissing you and stuff. And there is like no way you can have a happily ever after with 100 guys, unless you're like a Queen Bee or something. Ironically, one of my Naughty Angels calls me Queen Bee lol.
But, like I remember someone back in the day did like a gang bang on porn. It was like 300 guys or something. I think it was Jasmine St. Clair. I only know this because I remember I snuck upstairs to watch E! Online when they were playing the Howard Stern show. My parents wouldn't let me watch E! because I was too lil so obviously I would sneak watching it. That's the first time I ever found out what a gang bang was. I think I musta been really little because I don't think I even knew what sex was. Or maybe had a very small idea. I knew what love was. And that I was a princess. But I just didn't know how princesses were supposed to get bent over a desk and....okay anyways.
Wow I've gone off on a tangent here. I hope I don't bore you. I just put out the giveaway on Facebook so wanted to let you guys know!
Paying It Back
Sooo....I had a great time yesterday, but I got to thinking...
I have something I wanna say.
There have been a lot of authors who have come before me or who are way bigger than me that totally helped me when they had no reason to. Like they went out of their way to help me - either by swapping, giving advice, telling me things, or anything else. I have only a tiiiiiny bit of success through good luck, but no way I did this on my own. It was all the wonderful authors.
But what did I do to repay them thus far?
It's been me, me, me, me, Alexis Alexis Alexis Alexis blah blah blah. I mean, I won't stop that, but it's important that I recognize them and do it in a way that's more meaningful than just words.
So, from now on, I'm gonna try and think lil bit less about myself.
Every week (not sure what day yet) I'm going to do something called a Naughty Angel Spotlight. Where I highlight a new author that maybe doesn't have a giant newsletter with 18,000 people to swap with. But they wrote a good book that's to market that you guys will enjoy. I'll highlight it.
Freebies from up and coming authors. I'll feature them through the spotlight as well.
I'll also share all this on my wall too. And in time I'll make a separate page and separate mailing list if ppl like it. But for now, this is my tiny way of giving back.
Because here is the way I see it.
You guys read books waaaaay faster than I can write them. You reading more authors doesn't harm me. An author doesn't have to jealously guard their readers because it takes them 2 weeks to write a book and it takes readers like 4 hours. By authors promoting each other and sharing each other, all it does is allow people with good stories to reach more readers, making more people happy.
I guess I just wanna do something that will sort of give back to the community that's given me my dream job, you know?
Anyways, I'll be planning this the next week or so. Today though, my dear dear friend Jess Bentley has released a box set that has all my favorite books. And FREEBIE from Vivian Phoenix! After the jump!
Me and Cheryl
So I forgot to tell you I have a new release coming up!
That's right!
I've been busy finalizing the book this week and I'm writing the final chapters today before it goes to ARC.
Anyways, tonight, I'll be sending out an excerpt AND doing a new giveaway because just the 12 Inches giveaway which announces on April 15 is great but it's only $100. I wanna do another giveaway to give you guys more chances to win because you guys are so awesome! So I plan to do more giveaways that's for sure.
Anyways, I have to go back to writing but I'll have the excerpt later on today and the new super secret giveaway ready too.
If I don't go back to writing Cheryl will totally be mad at me. She's like sooo patient with me. Because this is literally what it's like when I write.
I'll message her on Facebook.And the transcript will look like this.
Me: Hey! What u doing?
Cheryl: I'm working on the things you asked me to do. What are you doing?
Me: I'm writing!
Cheryl: Good...
Me: But I'm sorta bored...
Cheryl: LMAO
Me: What are you gonna do after this?
Cheryl: I have a lot of work to do.
Me: O ya, can you also do (insert something I just thought of)
Cheryl: Ok...let me put it on the list
Me: Thanks! But I NEEED to write! I'm soooo behind!
Cheryl: Well, go write...
Me: You're distracting me!
Cheryl: Sorry?
Me: Okay, I'm not answering any more PM or playing in DLA or doing anything! Gonna write!!! I mean in.
Cheryl: Bye...
Ten minutes later:
Me: Hey. What u doing?
Cheryl: Sigh...
Although today I got Rock Hard Seal from Rye Hart and a FREEBIE From KB Winters!! After the jump!
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis
Some Things I Won’t Do
So...ya, there are some things I just won't do.
So, I’ve gone on maybe about 2 dates with this guy from Match.com. But maybe about a week and half ago, this guy came on to me at this bar I was at with my friends and was hitting on me and I was horny so I went home with him. The whole thing is purely sexual and he’s not like my lobster at all. So I know that. But the Match.com guy miiiiight have boyfriend potential. I mean, he’s playing it slow, which is fine by me. We haven’t even really kissed yet. Just after dinner he gave me a kiss on the cheek last time and the first time we just shook hands (WTF?).
I know he’s into me, but he’s just taking his time and sometimes the dance before the actual fucking is so oh my gosh and crazy. I think it’s getting to that slow burn right now with the guy before we do it. But we really aren’t that sexual just yet. He’s mildly amusing and he has potential, but nothing where I’m about to climb on him during dinner.
So yesterday I was going out for a drink with Match but before that I really really had this urge to see Horny Bar Guy. So I went over to his apartment which was a few blocks from the bar I was meeting Match Guy at and we fooled around for a bit.
Problem is Horny Bar Guy is a slob and no way I’d ever use his toothbrush or anything. So now I have cum breath (you can guess what I did when I say I fooled around) and I’m off to meet Match Guy. And today is the day Match Guy
wants to try and kiss me! On Date #3! When he should be trying to fuck me instead!
I’m sorry, I may write a lot of smut and I may have pretty liberal attitudes on women and sex, but one thing I do not do is kiss another guy with another guy’s cum breath – even if its been washed down with two glasses of pinot.
So I’m like uhmm no and Match Guy is like whats wrong. I couldn’t say.
So now I have to go see him after work for a drink and hoping that I can get it all sorted!
Just wanted to share with my Angels. I <3 writing to you!
Recommendation for today is from Amy Brent. It made Top 100! Yay! I’m so happy and proud for Amy baby! And if all goes well, I’m gonna read it tonight! OH, also FREEBIE!
Take care and talk to you tomorrow! <3
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis
Spilling
Oh, I told Match.com guy the other day what it is I do for work - which is basically be a smut queen - and he was so intimated it was crazy. Makes kinda a bit of sense though. I mean it took him 3 dates to even try and kiss me and I couldn't because I had cum breath from Arrogant Bar Guy and seeing him earlier so when we finally met for a drink I was like look I like you I think and I didn't want you to think I wasn't feeling you. So he was like oh, then why did you back away? And I was just trying to figure what to say because you can't be honest in this situation. So I was just whatever, I'm exhausted from a long day at work can we talk about something else.
So he was like, wait, what do you do anyways. And I looked him in the eye and I was like, "Match.com Guy, I write smut."
And he was all like, "What do you mean you write smut? I thought you worked in finance."
"I do work in finance," I replied. "I still do consulting a few hours a week to pay the bills, but I also write smut."
"What do you mean by you write smut?" he asked again.
So rather than tell him about you know filling holes with 12 inches of lust muscle, I opened my phone and showed him 12 Inches.
Yeah, so he hasn't called back yet. I think it's time to move on to next guy. I'm with the parental units for Easter, but Match#2 is actually in the same neighborhood for Easter and we've been texting and I might hang out with him Monday before going home Tuesday.
Oh, check out my new video trailer for Dirty Lil' Angels below! And be sure to catch the new Mona Cox - its a collaboration between Jess Bentley and me. Its basically about a girl going through life kinda like what I basically talked about above lol.
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis
Parting the Red Sea
I wish I could like part the Red Sea. That was pretty cool!
We used to watch the Ten Commandments like every year when I was growing up right before Easter so yesterday it was a great thing to be able to go back and watch it with my parents. I'm talking about the Charlton Heston one.
Although, I gotta say, I get pretty pissed off when Moses goes to the mountain and everyone seems to forget in like ten minutes what they're supposed to be doing and start building the golden calf.
Also, I never realized this before but that was a real live frat party that they were having at the end when Moses comes back and gets mad at everyone.
All this meant that I basically ignored Match.com guy when he texted me wanting to talk. Whatever dude. You weren't confident with a strong woman at first, I dunno if you will be now. Oprah always said the first thing a woman says is usually what they're really feeling.
So today is simple. Easter Dinner and stuffs. I had a relaxing morning. Read some B.B. Hamel to get into the Easter spirit lol.
Although you know the problem with reading BB when you're at your parents house? There's no way to relieve the.....tension.
Although, they did replace the showerhead in the guest bathroom. It's portable now. Hmmm...
Men Are Like Onions
I dunno if I can ever walk again...
Usually I say that because of sex.
Today it's because of food.
I ate soooo much! OMG. I think I need to go get on the treadmill and run for like 50 miles and then get on the stairclimber for like 98 hours and then have like 100 hours of vigorous sex to work off all the food I ate oh no!
But I got your emails and ok, fine. I will give Match.com guy a chance and respond back to his texts. So many of you were like oh my God, give the guy a chance he's probably intimidated by the whole thing I figured why not. But if he doesn't try anything - like if he doesn't put his hand on my knee or cop a feel or try to squeeze something or kiss me and just shakes my hand and says goodnight - that's it, I'm walking.
The best line I heard from your responses was:
"Men are like onions, they can either really enhance a dish or stink on your hands for a week. You never know, until you peel them!!!"
I LOLLed so hard!
Anyways, I'm going to go relax for the night, and actually Michelle Love sent me this book to take a look at and it was great! Take a look if you're in food coma with me and need to sit down with something sexy. Also, grab your freebie at the bottom!
Goodnight!
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis
Hopes and Dreams
So much stuff to give away...
Hey babes just dropping you a message as I leave the parental units and head back. It’s really awesome because I’m gonna be on an Amtrak train and sitting near the window as the train rolls along looking out the landscape and writing. Seems kinda romantic.
Maybe a handsome stranger will sit across from me and look me in the eyes and ask me what I’m doing. And I can tell him I write smut and I’m writing a sex scene. And he would ask me, do I ever practice what I write? Then he’d see the look in my eyes and we’d go into a bathroom (?) and he and I would proceed to have sex. Then he’d get off at my stop and live real close to me and end up being a world class billionaire chef who also gave amazing massages and he’d scoop me up and take me forever to heaven – also known as The Ritz Carlton Hotel. Here, we would live happily ever after.
Uhm, wow. I need to come back down to reality.
Hugs and Kisses and Lots of Love,
Alexis
Train
So I read this book on the train...
I loved it! It was so amazing!
Ashlee Price baby, I was reading your book on an BART train and getting all squirmy!
BART stands for Bay Area Rapid Transit.
But I couldn't do anything about it because uhm, hello, I'm on a train. So like I just kept reading. Anyways, I got home a bit earlier and I definitely uhm, rectified the situation.
Oh speaking of, I talked to Match.com Guy #1 after you guys were like yeah give him another shot. So we’re meeting up tomorrow now. He’s taking me to some wine and cheese cave in the Castro. Yeah, I don’t know about going on a date in the Castro. It seems kinda like a bad omen. But we’ll see. I mean, at least this guy is taking me on dates, and he’s not like lets grab a few drinks and then bone, you know? Because sometimes, that’s what it feels like dating has become. Sometimes you don’t even get a meal anymore! I dunno about you, but I’m not putting handling your sausage till I eat some steak.
And it doesn’t even have to be steak. I mean, I’m happy with shrimp! Or lobster. Even arugula. But definitely bread. Like breadsticks. No pasta though because summer is coming.
And oh my God, get ready to hear me moan about summer coming. So I have boot camp Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this week to get in shape for summer. I only have a month and half. Luckily, my book boyfriends won’t care if I’m pale. Or have that extra few pounds that winter seems to hide so well.
Taxes
If taxes were only like romance novels, life would be easier...
I swear, I can’t figure out which form I should fill out and what I should do. And before you tell me to use TurboTax or a service, need I remind you that I used to work on Wall Street. I should be able to do all this
stuffs! But I don’t really like it – I didn’t like it back in the day either! I’d much rather wear fluffy PJs and eat ice cream and write smut and then put on heels and cute underwear and go out with my girlfriends to some club where this dashing and handsome guy would sweep me off my feet and take me back to his place and he wouldn’t forget the condoms so I wouldn’t have to root around through my bag either at 2 am in the morning wondering which one of us is gonna have to go to Duane Reade (Walgreens for people outside New York City).
Anyways, we were talking about taxes. Seriously, so I have to do two sets of taxes. One with my business partner for my writing stuffs and one on my own for me. The Naughty Angel Publishing stuff at least someone else helps take care of – my rationale for this is that I’m too busy writing smut. But for me – I gotta do that on my own.