Right about the time Lucas and I were talking to Victoria at Barton Springs, an internal memo hit my inbox. Azure Group was acquiring one of the major, nationwide dating apps--Datability. Excitement kindled in my tired brain. This could be great! Lucas’ app technology could be merged into this company’s existing infrastructure.
I opened another email entitled ‘Notable Match Post-Acquisition Strategy’ from McKenzie.
Dear Michelle, Kyle, and Annie, I’m sure that you three have seen the recent company confidential memo about the acquisition of a competitor of Notable Match, Datability. This does not change our acquisition strategy for Notable Match, however, we are embargoing the public announcement for now. In order to make our purchase yesterday, I had to sweeten the pot. My solution was to show Datability’s CEO the details of Stevenson’s technology. Datability agreed to the acquisition on the condition that Azure Group not materially modify any technology or algorithms for five years. That means Notable Match will be a containment only acquisition…
Containment. It was the approved Azure Group euphemism for a company we wanted to kill. My stomach clenched, and my headache pounded. This was my least favorite part of my job, and why I specifically didn’t work containment deals unless I had to. There was nothing quite as soul crushing is purchasing a company and then turning around and firing everyone that worked for it. Although I didn’t have to personally fire anyone, I always knew in the back of my mind that I was working a containment deal. It was just too depressing.
Lucas thought we were acquiring his company to grow it and make it successful. To either take Notable Match and infuse it with enough capital to properly launch it or integrate the technology into another company. Either way, the plan was to create a future for Notable Match. We’d told him all about our plan to do just that. He wasn’t selling his company to us so that we could kill it to prevent him from competing against another portfolio company. But now that was exactly what Azure Group wanted to do.
I lay back on Lucas’ pillows and stared at his loft ceiling high above my head. I couldn’t tell him. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. If I told him what we wanted to do with Notable Match it would kill the deal. Not only that, I would also lose my job and be virtually unemployable forever after. But once Azure Group owned his technology there would be nothing to prevent them from immediately liquidating it and locking his precious algorithms in a safe somewhere to rot. I felt like I was in a no-win scenario. No matter what I did, the answer was wrong.
If I thought everything was complicated before, now it was a thousand times worse. Lucas’ bed smelled like him. My body smelled like him. I’d almost slept with him, and now I was going to betray him.
It was a very long time before I fell asleep that night.
17
Lucas
The next morning found me sore, cold, and disoriented. My couch was plenty comfortable for sitting. It was plenty comfortable for sleeping, too, if you’re five-foot-two. I’m almost six-foot-two. I spent the whole night trying to figure out if it was better to have the top of my head or the tips of my feet more cramped up against the arm rests. The answer was neither.
When I woke up, Rae was already awake and active. It must be her east coast biological clock. She’d stolen out of the bedroom and started another shower. The fact that there was a woman in my house in the morning was immediately apparent, although I tried not to be offended that she must want to wash me off of her.
From the high heels next to the door, to the prepared pot of coffee, to the soft, feminine singing I could hear beneath the water noises, it all made me smile. God, I’d really missed having company in the mornings. I don’t think I’d even realized how lonely I was until Rae stayed the night. The idea of spending another night on my torture couch was somehow a lot more appealing if it meant waking up to Rae.
My two shy little cats, Moxie and Bob, were sitting outside the bathroom door. They’d been invisible all the prior night, hiding from the stranger, but now their curiosity had gotten the better of them. The two roly-poly tabbies typically didn’t like company, but if anything stayed in their environment for long enough they had to claim it. I was willing to bet they slept with her the night before. I envied them.
The sound of the shower (and singing) cut off while I was getting myself a cup of coffee, and Rae emerged from the bathroom a few moments later.
“Hello there, sweet kitties,” she whispered. She hadn’t realized that I was awake yet and was trying to avoid waking me. “Did you sit there the whole time I was in the shower? I missed you too.” They looked at her with interest.
“Yes, they did, although they would have preferred to watch you shower,” I answered for Moxie and Bob. Rae jumped a little and looked over at me in obvious embarrassment. Was she embarrassed that she talked to the cats? I did it all the time. Me and those cats had long, drawn out, detailed conversations. I also let them watch me shower. They were super into it, and I felt cruel denying them such a simple pleasure.
“Good morning,” Rae said formally. She’d gotten partially dressed in the bathroom and was wearing a pale pink, knee length slip. Her cute, light dusting of freckles stood out better from her white skin when she wore pink. I tried not to stare at them and failed. She looked younger in the morning without her mascara and her freckles on display. I knew that she was twenty-seven, but she didn’t look a day over nineteen. Maybe that was why she always wore makeup and dark clothing. It was to make her look older and more mature.
“Good morning. Coffee?” I extended a second mug.
“Please.” She accepted the mug from me carefully, not touching my fingers or meeting my eyes.
She was nervous and jittery this morning. Maybe the coffee wasn’t such a good plan. I’d never seen Rae hesitant or unsure for more than a few seconds at a time. Usually she snapped back to bold and teasing within a moment or two. This morning her nervousness was sticking around.
The silence grew thick in my kitchen. I felt like I could have cut it with a knife.
“Did the cats bother you last night?” I asked her, trying to make conversation.
She shook her head. “No. But I like cats. They slept next to me. I woke up and they were just there, chilling. They’re very sweet, even though they wouldn’t let me pet them.”
Moxie and Bob didn’t let anyone pet them. Except me and Victoria. I quashed the thought. The two were winding around my feet now, staring at me and probably wondering where their breakfast was. I grabbed the bag of dry kibbles out from under the sink and they both started meowing excitedly.
“Do you have any pets?” I asked, although I couldn’t really imagine it. Rae’s job would make having pets difficult.
The moment the bowls hit the ground, both kitties had their faces buried deep in the food. They attacked their breakfasts like they were lions attacking gazelles on the Serengeti. That kibble never had a chance.
She frowned at my question. “I travel far too much. I used to have a dog, but I gave her to my brother when I got my job.”
“What kind of dog?” I tried to imagine Rae walking a dog and found myself imagining her with a big, elegant type of dog. An Airedale maybe, or a greyhound. Something with long, sleek legs like her.
“A Bullshit,” Rae said, grinning. I gave her a weird look and she explained. “Half French bulldog and half Shih Tzu. A Bullshit. She’s the best. Her name is Tootsie.”
Not what I expected. I grinned.
“Sounds cute. Would you have pets again if you could?”
“Yes definitely.” She smiled brightly, and I felt victorious for drawing her out of her silence and reserve. “If I could, I’d have lots of pets. I like animals.” Rae paused. “I volunteer at the animal shelter when I can. Usually in the kitten room.” She admitted this like it was a secret she was reluctantly letting me in on.
“Hanging out in the kitten room? That seems like something you should have to pay to do. That’s not volunteering, its entertainment.” My tone was teasing, but I wa
s secretly charmed. The idea of fierce, career-minded Rae playing with gobs of little fluffy kittens to de-stress was absolutely adorable. Every layer I managed to peel off her made me more interested to find the next detail, the next secret.
Even my gentle teasing this morning seemed to be too much. Rae’s expression closed up again. “You’re right, but maybe they’ve gotten wise. I haven’t been there in a while.” She sighed. “I’m too busy these days.”
“Do you want to go out and get some breakfast?” I asked, wondering if a change of venue would help bring her out of her shell. There was something strange going on with her this morning. She kept looking at me and then darting her gaze away. I must have really fucked up last night.
“Um, sure,” Rae answered, then froze. “Actually, I should probably go. I have work I need to do. You know, due diligence work…” her eyes flitted around onto every surface that wasn’t my face.
“Ok.” I nodded, but I don’t think she saw because she was already headed toward the bedroom, presumably to pack up her things and finish getting ready. She already had one foot out the door.
Rationally, I knew that I shouldn’t be worrying whether Rae still liked me or not. We weren’t friends, or lovers, or anything. We were supposed to be business associates and nothing more. Sure, our arrangement was a bit unconventional, but it was based on an exchange of goods and services, not on feelings.
But you don’t choose your feelings. My heart had started to have ideas about Rae. Ideas about keeping her. Serious ideas. Ideas that stuck around. My body had ideas about Rae too, obviously, but if it was just that, I could probably ignore it. It was my heart that I was concerned about because I’d thought that Victoria had a monopoly on it and would forever.
“Lucas?” Rae snapped me out of my thoughts. She must have gone in the bedroom and turned right back around.
“Sorry, I was off in la-la land,” I told her, trying to smile reassuringly. She just stared at me with a determined look on her face.
“Lucas, there’s something really important I need to tell you about Azure Group,” she said.
“What—”
Ding-dong!
Someone was at the door? Rae and I exchanged a confused look. I shrugged. It was ten a.m. on a Sunday. I headed to answer it while Rae hid out of sight in the hall and stuck her head around the corner to peek. Who shows up unexpectedly at ten on a Sunday?
18
Rae
“Kyle?” Lucas’ surprised voice echoed against the hard walls of the loft. “Hey man, you know it’s Sunday today, right?”
I froze. He couldn’t mean Kyle Chen, my teammate. Maybe Lucas had a friend named Kyle. It was a common name.
“Hi Mr. Stevenson.” No, that was definitely Kyle Chen. I’d travelled all over the country with the nerdy little guy over the past six months. I knew his voice. “Sorry for showing up unannounced and so early. Can I come in? I have something important to talk to you about.”
“Uh, one sec,” Lucas said. He came back into view and gave me a ‘what the fuck do I do?” look. I shrugged, panicked, and pointed at the bedroom. He nodded, and I went to hide. I darted into the bedroom and left the door cracked so I could listen. “Sorry about that. Come on in,” I heard Lucas telling Kyle. “You want some coffee or something?”
“Oh, um, no thanks. I won’t be here that long,” Kyle said. He sounded profoundly nervous. I could imagine him shifting from foot to foot the way he did when he had to present in meetings. Cliff called it the “Kyle Shuffle” and teased him about it mercilessly.
I mentally flew through the reasons that I could think of that might bring Kyle to Lucas’ door this morning. There weren’t very many. One, he could have discovered something deeply problematic in the financial records that he’d been reviewing and wanted to discuss it personally with Lucas before telling me and Annie. Two, he could have his own weird side arrangement with Lucas that neither had shared with me. Or, three, he could have an unknown personal reason.
“What’s up?” Lucas asked Kyle casually. I could hear in Lucas’ voice that he was very curious as to why Kyle would show up here, which contradicted reason two. I didn’t really think that was likely either.
“Your app matched me with my coworker Annie,” Kyle said. The first few words had been slow, but he accelerated as he went on until he was speaking so quickly it was almost unintelligible. “I’d been trying to work up the courage to ask her out for months. You see, we travel together a lot for work. Cliff, Rae, Annie, and me. We’ve been all over the country together. So, I saw Annie all the time. But I was too afraid to ask her out and then your app matched me with her this morning when I picked her up at the airport and it was just like lightning… you know—bam—all of a sudden we just both knew.” He finally fell silent.
My jaw had gone slack in disbelief. Annie and Kyle?! I’d never would have thought. They were about as different as two people could be, although they were both mega-nerds in their own respective domains. Annie was zaftig, blonde, and techy. Kyle was short, quiet, and five years her junior.
“I’m, um, I’m happy for you,” Lucas told Kyle. He sounded as shocked and confused as I felt. Yeah, it was weird that Kyle and Annie had successfully been matched by Notable Match. Very weird. But it didn’t necessitate Kyle running over here immediately afterwards.
“How does your algorithm work?” Kyle asked. He sounded awed.
“You should ask Annie,” Lucas replied. He was using that smug, secretive tone of voice that he always had when he spoke about his app.
“She doesn’t have any idea how it works,” Kyle replied. “She’s been all over the code and she said it’s totally incomprehensible.”
I could almost hear Lucas shrugging. I imagined the look on his face as being a mixture of pride, amusement, and disinterest. “Is that what you came to tell me?” he asked. There was still confusion in his voice, and I shared it. This made no sense.
“No. I mean, partly, but there’s something else, too.” I heard him sigh heavily. “I really think your technology could help a lot of people. I’m not the sort of person who goes out of their way for no reason.” He paused. “I usually avoid all kinds of risks.” Another pause. “I really shouldn’t tell you this. I might lose my job. But maybe it’s worth it.” An even longer pause. I was starting to get very nervous. “You know Azure Group owns all types of companies in their portfolio, right?” Oh no. He was going to tell Lucas that Azure Group was going to kill Notable Match. There was only one thing for me to do.
“Good morning, Kyle.” I slid out of the bedroom and watched all the blood drain out of his face.
Surprise! It’s me, your boss.
“Rae?” Kyle stuttered. Lucas was watching me with wide eyes too. He looked almost as shocked as Kyle. I was still wearing just my slinky, pink silk slip, but I stood up straight and tried to look as confident as I could. I didn’t even care that my nipples were probably clearly visible. Well, I cared, but only a little. This was more important.
I know what you were about to do, I told Kyle with my eyes. He clearly knew he’d been caught. I arched an eyebrow at him and he turned a bright, frightened pink color.
Kyle swallowed hard and his adam’s apple bobbed up and down in his neck. I could see him weighing alternatives in his mind and trying to come up with an explanation for why I was there, dressed like I was, in the morning. He came to the logical conclusion a second later. I could tell by the way he glanced through the bedroom door at the mussed up covers on the bed. His gaze, when it came back to my face, was dumbstruck.
Don’t judge me. You’re fucking your coworker. At least I’m just almost fucking our client.
I smiled wide at Kyle. “I got your text that you and Annie were flying up early. I was already here. Actually, I was just about to tell Lucas the good news myself!” My voice was convincingly warm and enthusiastic. I usually wasn’t a very good liar, but panic was fueling me. In reality my tone was fueled by nervousness and desperation, but it still sounded
enthusiastic.
“Good news?” Lucas echoed. He looked incredibly confused. I swallowed my guilt and forced myself to be confident.
Do your job. Keep it together. Just do your job.
“Yes,” I said sweetly, coming up close to him and grabbing his hand in faux excitement. “Very good news.” He looked at our joined hands in surprise and up at me with a little smile. “Notable Match passed the preliminary due diligence examination. We can now start the final checks and begin our real negotiations!”
Technically this was not a lie at all. I had all the information I needed to move the process forward, although in an ordinary situation I’d wait until the end of the trip to announce that we were moving forward. But time was of the essence. McKenzie wanted this done, and done quickly.
“That’s great,” Lucas said, returning my smile. He still looked confused, but I could tell that he bought it. My heart twisted painfully in my chest.
I’m sorry Lucas. I don’t want to betray you. It has to be like this.
While I’d been hiding in the bedroom, I’d had a change of heart. As much as I wanted to, telling Lucas the truth would almost certainly destroy my career. I couldn’t let Kyle do it either. Lucas and I were just business associates. This relationship we had was fake and the rest was all business. I would do well to remember that. Lucas wasn’t going to worry about my feelings when this was over. He was going to be with Victoria.
At Lucas’ side, Kyle blinked at me. I could see judgement in his eyes, but also acceptance. He’d been beat and he knew it. He must have thought I flew down here and fucked Lucas last night to make sure this deal went off perfectly and as quickly as possible. It was a thoroughly Machiavellian way of making sure I took Cliff’s spot on a permanent basis and was more or less exactly what was expected in this business, although I’d long believed that I could succeed without doing deals on my back. Still, I’m sure McKenzie would be proud. The feeling didn’t comfort me.
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