I sat back in shock. “What?”
Is that what she thought I came here for? To tell her that I was back with Victoria and that my harebrained plan had worked after all?
Her lips parted in surprise. “You aren’t here to tell me you’re back together with Victoria?”
“No.” I shook my head at her. “Rae, I admit I didn’t do well with our last conversation. It was bad, and I owe you an explanation. But as far as Azure Group goes, none of what they wanted to do was your fault. You were just trying to do your job.” I tried to grab her hand, but she pulled away.
“So were the guards at Auschwitz.” She pouted and looked out the window.
The return of her dark sense of humor was a good sign but also proof that she still felt guilty. I shook my head at her. “Rae, it isn’t your fault that you worked for someone dishonest. You just went way above and beyond any expectation I ever had for protecting Notable Match. If I’m being honest, I don’t even care about Notable Match enough to ask you to do something like that, and I care about it a lot.”
“It was the right thing to do.” She paused. “Plus, the culture there really does need an overhaul. The sexual harassment there was off the charts. I could tell you stories that would make your skin crawl.”
I didn’t doubt it. Still…
“You really thought I flew up here to tell you I was back with Victoria?” My heart squeezed.
She honestly thought I didn’t want her? How could I not want her?
“I admit that I thought you’d probably send me an email or something rather than coming up in person, but yeah.”
Her eyes were fixed on her coffee. I laughed. She said what she said because of Victoria. I knew that from the start. It was time to get to the point.
“Rae, I talked to Victoria.”
She looked up at me in surprise. Her big blue eyes blinked, and she said nothing. Her gaze went back to the coffee cup. I took that as a cue to keep talking.
“I told her to go to hell,” I continued. “It was exactly like I’d planned it up until then. She showed up in the lobby of my building. She’d been lurking down there for god knows how long, crying and waiting for me to come down by myself. She told me that she loved me and that she wanted me back. She said that she couldn’t stand seeing me with you and that she wanted to give our relationship another try.” I shook my head. “It was just like in my dreams. But when the time came, I realized that I didn’t love her anymore.”
Rae took a deep, shaking breath. The hands gripping her coffee cup flew to her face and then down to be clasped demurely in her lap. It was like she didn’t know what to do with them and they had a mind of their own. “But—”
I cut her off. “But nothing. I don’t love Victoria. She’s cruel, and she didn’t love me nearly as much as she hated the idea of me being happy without her. It took me eighteen months to come to terms with it, but now that I’m able to admit it, I’m free. I don’t love Victoria Priestly anymore. I love you Rae. I love you.”
An IHOP is not the most romantic place in the world at the best of times. This particular one was even less so than usual. Ellen took the moment I was confessing my love to drop off the check. She coughed a smoker’s cough before slapping it down on the table.
“Since your friends took off without paying, I put their food on your check.” She looked from one of us to the other in bland disinterest. “Take your time.”
I shoved a fifty-dollar bill at her and she left. Rae was continuing to stare at me, wide eyed and silent. The moments passed by quietly, ticking my tension up a little bit at a time. By the time that Ellen returned with my change and laid it on the table, I was about ready to explode.
“You two have a great day,” Ellen said insincerely. I honestly don’t think that she had the slightest idea what she was interrupting, but I got the feeling that she wouldn’t care either way.
“Rae, please say something,” I begged. “I know my speech isn’t as good as what you just did for me, but it’s all true. I love you.”
“You really told Victoria to go to hell?” she stuttered.
I smiled. “Not in so many words, but yes.” I just wasn’t mean enough to say something like that to Victoria, although she might deserve it, but I knew she got the message. “I even called the guy she’s dating and told him that she tried to cheat on him.”
Rae smirked. “That’s pretty cold, Lucas.”
“Nobody has ever accused me of being too nice.” I frowned. “Look, when you’ve been cheated on as many times as I have—”
She interrupted with a girlish giggle. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way. I would have done the exact same thing. I completely approve.” Her smile gave me hope.
“So, does that mean you will take me back?”
“As your fake girlfriend?” Her smile was lopsided. My heart leapt at her gentle teasing tone. Rae’s wry personality was adorable to me. I loved that she took no nonsense out of me or anyone else.
“No. No more fakeness. No more lies. I want you as my real girlfriend this time.” I smiled back at her hopefully. “What do you say?”
Her answer was a kiss. I leaned into her, wrapping my arms around her waist and crushing her into me. Rae was beautiful, fierce, brilliant, and mine. I was never going to let her go.
Epilogue
Lucas
Two weeks later…
“I told you so,” Cole said, wearing the shit-eating-est of all shit-eating grins.
“Yeah whatever,” I replied with a dismissive hand wave.
“I also told you so,” Ward chimed in, delivering the beer pitcher to our table. “And technically, I was the one who told him so first,” he added to Cole. Cole rolled his eyes.
“Anyway, regardless of who told me what first, we’re together now,” I told them as I filled up my glass and added an orange slice to the rim. “Rae’s up in New York today just packing up her apartment. I’m going to fly up there on Tuesday and we’re going to rent a truck and drive everything back. She’s going to help me run Notable Match. We’ll be scrambling for funding for a bit, but we’ll be keeping expenses low by living together.”
I smiled my most cost-effective smile. It had only been a couple of days without her and I was desperately missing having her in my bed, even if she did hog the covers. I was looking forward to sharing showers with her too. To save on our water bills. Obviously.
“Already shacking up, too?” Cole teased, his smile growing even wider. “I’m so proud of you. Look at you rebounding from Victoria like a total pro. Sure, it took basically forever, but you still did it. Late is better than never. I knew you had it in you.”
“You’re proud of me?” I smirked at him. “For living in sin? Aren’t you Arkansas boys supposed to be virtuous and god-fearing?”
“I’m plenty virtuous and god-fearing,” Cole replied seriously over the edge of his beer. “Like my mom does with Kate and me, I simply assume you’ll be sleeping in separate rooms until marriage.”
Something told me that Cole’s mom’s charming cognitive dissonance might actually be sufficient for that. She was super nice, super Southern, and super weird. Cole’s entire family was a bit weird, actually. It helped explain him.
“Ok whatever you want to believe dude,” I told him. “We’re sleeping in separate beds like in old timey tv shows.”
Ward and Cole, both from good, old-fashioned Southern families, nodded appreciatively as if this were a remote possibility. I rolled my eyes. I’m from California. Rae is from New York. We don’t even pretend to subscribe to that nonsense.
“So, do I ever get to meet Rae?” Ward asked me. “I feel like you’re hiding her from me. What are you afraid of?”
“It’s more like I’m sparing her from meeting you,” I teased. “I already introduced Rae to Cole. I don’t want to overwhelm her with my friends all at once.”
“All two of them?” Ward retorted. “Cole told me about you cat-care emergency while Emma and I were in Cabo.”
&nb
sp; I smiled. “I’ll have you know that I figured that out no problem. Because, despite what you and Cole think, I have more than two friends.”
Both of them shook their heads at me. Cole spoke first. “Actually, I acknowledged that you had three and a half friends.”
Ward looked confused. “How can there be a half-friend? Is that someone who’s only nice to Lucas half the time? Like Kate?”
I laughed, and Cole frowned at Ward. “Kate’s really nice to Lucas.”
“Kate’s not really nice to anyone,” Ward replied and then paused. “Except you.”
I thought about making an off-color comment about why exactly Kate had an incentive to be really nice to Cole but thought better of it. Ward was her brother, after all. That situation was a constant minefield of familial discomfort without me wading into it on purpose. I could only imagine what it would be like when they had children. At least for now Ward could fool himself into believing that Cole and his sister were doing the whole separate bed thing.
“Actually, I was counting Ian as the half-friend,” Cole corrected. “He’s in rehab now though, so I really shouldn’t have been joking about him. The guy has a serious problem.” He shook his head. “I hope he’s doing ok.”
We all paused to appreciate the gravity of Ian’s situation by staring at our respective beers in silence. I, for one, was glad he’d gone to rehab. His drinking had gotten seriously out of control, and the wedding had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. Ryan had staged an intervention with their family. At least Ian was man enough to admit that he had a problem and do something about it before he or someone else got seriously hurt. Hopefully he would be able to win over his addiction. The fact that one of his friends owned a bar that the rest of his friends constantly hung out at could be a real issue for him, long term.
“Poor Ian,” I said, shaking my head as I thought about him. “I owe him one, actually. He was the one who helped me figure out the cat issue you were talking about.”
“Wait, you seriously let Ian feed your cats?” Cole asked. “I honestly did not expect that.”
I shook my head. “No. I didn’t let Ian feed my cats,” I said defensively. I loved my cats too much for that. “But he helped me get Jason Kane’s phone number. He was the one who fed my cats.”
Both Cole and Ward went still. I laughed at their frozen expressions of disbelief.
“Bullshit,” Ward said after a moment. His voice was beyond incredulous. “I’m calling bullshit. You did not get a rockstar to come feed your cats for you. You might be smart, but you don’t have that kind of power.”
“Power? No. That has nothing to do with it. We’re friends.”
“I am also calling bullshit,” Cole said this time, shaking his head at me dismissively. “Definite, pure, undiluted bullshit.”
I smiled at the both of them. “Ok. Sure. Well he’s supposed to be dropping off the key tonight, so we’ll just see about that.”
The two of them exchanged a glance between themselves that clearly said ‘Lucas is fucking with us’. While it wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility that I might be, this time I actually wasn’t.
Epilogue
Rae
“I really appreciate the offer, but I’m not interested in a role with your firm at this time.”
“Are you sure you won’t reconsider Ms. Lewis? We could make it worth your while.”
I shook my head at the phone. “It’s honestly not about the money. This is a very generous offer and I’m truly gratified that you would think of me. But I’ve decided to leave New York and take on some new challenges.”
“Well, if you change your mind, let us know. It was a pleasure speaking with you today. I’ll reach out to Annie Washington as you suggested. I’m excited to speak with her.”
“Fantastic. I know she’ll be interested in your organization. Have a great day.”
Once I hung up the phone I stared at it in total disbelief for at least five full minutes. This was the third call today. I could barely get any packing done because I kept getting interrupted by people offering me jobs!
I had fully expected to be totally unemployable after the way I had departed Azure Group. Usually whistleblowers are not well liked in any industry. But something strange had happened when I ousted McKenzie. All of a sudden, other people started coming forward at Azure Group against management for their misdeeds. Although McKenzie was gone, word got around that the bad behavior was no longer going to be accepted, and it shook loose and avalanche of allegations.
Azure Group’s stock price abruptly went bottoms up and the company was now being acquired by a larger, less horrifically corrupt competitor. But instead of putting an end to the chaos, the acquisition of Azure Group spread the news throughout the industry that harassment was no longer being ignored. Women and men at all level of the industry started talking. And once started, they refused to shut up again.
It shook the industry to its foundations. Private equity was the ultimate boys club, but it was impossible to put the genie back in the bottle. Loads of senior executives were ‘retiring early’ to ‘spend more time with their family’ and ‘focus on their health’. A lot of senior HR executives were ‘seeking new opportunities’ after they were shown to be total tools. A few C-suite types were even ‘seeking treatment’ at various mental health facilities for their ‘sex addictions’ that they claimed produced their appalling behavior. It was beautiful, sweet, long-overdue justice.
Watching the industry reel and reckon with what ought to be a thoroughly twentieth century problem was both gratifying and sad. It was wonderful that men and women now felt more comfortable complaining about what ought to be simply unacceptable. It was also sad that it had taken this long for the industry to realize that it needed to root out some terrible practices that had festered and grown for far too long. The strangest thing about it all was that people seemed to think that I was the hero behind it.
Annie, Kyle and I had done exactly one interview with a local magazine to tell our side of the story and it had blown up overnight. We became something of minor celebrities over the course of a single weekend. The funny thing about all of this sudden publicity is that it was me complaining that made everything possible. I went my whole life carrying around this complex about complaining and now that I finally got the guts to complain about something big, I was getting more accolades than I’d ever dreamed of. Out of all this chaos, I was getting requests for interviews, book deals, speaking engagements, and jobs.
But the only job I wanted was as co-CEO of Notable Match. Lucas and I were going into business together. Maybe it was a really, really bad idea. After all, we had only just met. Our ‘real’ relationship was even more new. If I were giving advice to any friend in my situation I would tell her to stay in New York and accept the one of the many high-paying, interesting-sounding jobs that had recently been offered to her. I would tell my friend not to get in over her head for a guy she barely knew. I’d tell her to listen to what her head was saying, because hearts lie. One thing I’d had to recognize about myself over the past couple of weeks, however, was that I needed to think with my heart a little bit more.
Or maybe I just needed to listen to Annie more. She seemed to have her shit figured out. I texted her about the most recent recruitment call as I boxed my shoe collection for the trip south.
Rae: I just turned down another one, but I told them to call you instead. Your voicemail and inbox are going to be trashed when you get back.
Annie: What was this one?
Rae: RAINN. It’s anti-sexual violence organization. It sounded really interesting.
Annie: Cool. I’ve always wanted to do NGO work. I don’t know how I’d be qualified to do anything but mop their floors, but I’m happy to learn! I can’t believe all of this is happening!
Rae: It’s truly bizarre.
Annie: At least we’re not unemployable freaks. That was kind of what I thought would happen.
Rae: I was sure that was what would
happen.
Annie: You’re such a sunny optimist.
Rae: I’m practical.
Annie: That’s what Kyle says when I tell him he’s crazy for drinking beer in the shower, watching television on the toilet, eating cereal for dinner or any of the other weird bachelor habits he’s picked up. He just says he’s practical.
Rae: Is it bad to drink a beer in the shower? I mean, it’s weird, but that actually sounds kind of nice. I don’t know how practical it is though.
Annie: He claims its multitasking.
Rae: I could see that. But the watching tv on the toilet thing? That’s not practical. It’s gross.
Annie: Welcome to the realities of relationship bliss. Soon this will be your life too!
Rae: I sincerely doubt Lucas watches tv on the toilet. He doesn’t even own a tv.
Annie: You know what I mean.
Rae: I’m actually looking forward to living with Lucas.
Annie: I know you are. You two are so sweet it’s going to give me a cavity from looking at you.
Rae: Says you. I saw those honeymoon photos. You and Kyle were absolutely adorable.
Annie: Yeah. We’re not too shabby.
Rae: And so modest too!
I finished piling my work stiletto collection into the box and moved onto my suit collection with mixed emotions. It would be strange to leave New York. I’d lived in the area my entire life. Now I was going to totally change my life, my career, and my relationship status all at once.
Suddenly, I realized the glaring error I was making. This was all wrong. Incredibly, completely, and totally wrong. Like a lightbulb going off in my brain, the realization struck: there was no way I would need so many business suits in Austin.
I started a new box, this one for donations. In my new life, I was going to dress in jeans and t-shirts. And shorts! I could wear shorts for most of the year. No more dry-clean only blazers. No more uncomfortable wool trousers. No more pussy bow blouses that deemphasized my chest. No more hosiery, except maybe in the bedroom. Lucas liked sexy thigh-highs. Those could stay.
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