“There is no need to apologize for a comment I was not supposed to hear.” Her reply was curt. Her gaze remained fixed on a point past his right shoulder. “If that is all Mister Stuart, I have duties to attend to.”
“It was thoughtless of me to refer to ye in such a manner. Ye are important to me and I am not sure why I said it. The only excuse I have is that I am a horse’s arse.”
She didn’t move or look up at him. “I am a servant; therefore, ye did not say anything that should affect me.”
“It was thoughtless and not at all true. I do have feelings for ye and hope to get to know ye better.”
They were silent for a long moment until Cait finally sighed. “May I go now please?”
“Forgive me,” he repeated. “Allow me to make it up to ye.”
She nodded. “Ye have nothing to make up for.”
“I am leaving,” Stuart blurted. “To my lands.”
“Aye, I have heard. I wish ye well.” Again, her tone was flat.
As she went to turn away, he reached out and touched her still crossed arm. “Perhaps ye and yer family will wish to move there. Once I get everything settled.”
It was then that her gaze lifted to his. For a moment he was struck silent by her beauty. The woman appealed to him like no other. Leaving her there would be one of the hardest things he could ever do.
“Say ye will come,” Stuart repeated.
“I cannot.” She let out a long breath. “I do not understand what ye wish from me. I have been clear that I will not be more than a servant to this household.”
“Is something wrong?” Torac, her half brother neared, his eyes fixed on Stuart. “Mister Stuart is there something ye require of Cait?”
Stuart shook his head. He was not intimidated by Torac—quite the opposite—he admired the willingness of the man to stand up for his sister. “I was telling Cait that I am leaving and asked if she, her mother, and her brother would be interested in going to the northwest eventually.”
Torac studied him for a long moment before looking to Cait. “It could be something beneficial for ye. To start at a new household.”
“I will consider it,” Cait said, and gave her brother a searching look before turning to him. “Is that all Mister Stuart?”
“Will ye truly think about it?”
She let out a sigh. “I will.”
Stuart nodded.
She then looked at her brother. “I must speak to ye about something that is of great concern.”
Dismissed, Stuart walked away, lighter at the being given a glimmer of hope that Cait would consider moving.
Chapter Ten
Cait glared at her brother. “Cora is bereft. Why do ye ignore her?”
“I have been busy. Ye know with that little thing called: a battle. And I have been given new responsibilities as head guard for a contingent of men.”
Rolling her eyes, Cait gave him a pointed look. “Ye returned unscathed. Thank God. Honestly, I am glad. But Torac ye cannot simply ignore Cora after… well after everything.”
At least her intimidating brother managed to look uncomfortable at her words. His wide shoulders lifted and lowered as he considered what to say.
“I need time. She wishes for more than I am willing to give now.”
“Then ye should not have taken things so far. Her heart is broken, and she’s scared. Her parents wish her to marry someone from the village.”
Torac wiped away the sweat from his face with his forearm. “It would not be a bad thing for her to marry someone who will give her all she wants.”
“Torac,” Cait gasped his name. “Ye will have her marry someone else and not bat an eye?”
Her brother’s temper came to the surface. “Let it be Cait. This is none of yer concern. What about ye and Stuart Ross. Why does he show so much interest in ye?”
He was not about to abruptly changed the subject and throw her off balance. “He caused me to cut my hand. Before that, he happened to run into me in the forest just as I was hiding from a boar. There is nothing else. I believe Lady Ross is behind it. Making him feel responsible for my well-being. Nothing more.”
Torac gave her a dubious look, then glanced over his shoulder toward the front door. “Never forget dear sister, people like them are not like us. They marry within their social circle and any interest in us is for nothing more than a dalliance.”
“That is the reason I am not certain about going to the northwest. I do not wish for him to think I aspire to be more than a servant.”
“I believe Stuart Ross to be an honorable man. If he brings ye there, he will give ye a good position. Perhaps head cook or housekeeper,” Torac admitted. “But just make sure he is aware ye will not be interested in anything more.”
Cait let out a long breath. “A post that would allow me to provide more for Mother, would be good. I will think on it.”
Watching her brother walk away, she considered how she’d feel when Stuart married a woman of his status. If she went with him, would it be possible for her to push her feelings away? It was not an easy choice. On the one hand, if she went with him, it would be easier to support her family. On the other, every day she’d be forced to watch Stuart with his wife.
“What did he say?” Cora asked as soon as Cait walked into the kitchen. The kitchen maids were chopping vegetables for last meal, not paying them any mind. Still, Cait did not wish to be overheard.
“Come let us take cups out to the great hall and begin setting up.”
Seeming to understand, Cora began placing cups on the tray, in clumsy stacks. Cait did the same only much neater. Keeping her tray light so that she could hold it using both hands.
They hurried to the great room, which—lucky for them—was empty.
“He does not care for me, does he?” Cora said, her eyes bright with tears. “Just say it Cait.”
She wanted to come up with a way to convey the truth without making Cora feel horrible. And yet, Cait considered if it were her, she’d want the pure unadulterated truth.
“He claims not to feel ready for any type of relationship. I do not know what made him change his feelings. Perhaps it was going to battle.”
“Does he need time?” Cora asked looking hopeful. “Should I be patient?”
“Nay, Cora. Ye should not wait for him.”
Cora’s face fell and she collapsed into a heap on the floor. Thankfully, she managed to keep the tray from spilling all the contents. Ever so slowly Cait took the tray and placed it on a nearby table. “I am so very sorry.”
“I may just need to get away from here and not have to see him every day.” Cora covered her face with both hands.
“I am so sorry. He should be more responsible with his actions toward ye,” Cait replied and hugged her friend.
Cait wondered why a person’s heart led one to feel for someone who did not return the sentiment. She ached for Cora. Perhaps this was a lesson for her as well. How ridiculous that her ignorant heart cared little about status.
“I will ask Mister Stuart to go with him,” Cora announced. “I am sure he will require help from someone who is familiar with the way things are done.”
Cait’s stomach dipped. “I would miss ye terribly.”
“Then ye should come as well…” Cora stopped. “I am sorry, ye are in the same predicament as I. What did Mister Stuart wish to tell ye?”
Cait looked around to ensure not to be overheard. “To apologize for saying the hurtful remark in the parlor. He seemed sincere.”
They gathered their trays to continue about their tasks in the great hall just as Lady Isobel and Lady Mariel walked in. It was obvious they weren’t sure how to address Cait, so she bobbed her head and dipped just a bit in a curtsy. “Good day, Lady Isobel. Lady Mariel.”
“How is yer hand?” Lady Isobel asked.
“It is healing well, thank ye.” Cait hurried to the farthest table to go about setting it, praying neither woman would follow her. It was painful enough to have been embarra
ssed in front of them, but now the awkwardness remained. Over time it would fade, and she would return to being just another servant in the household.
Darach, Gideon, and Stuart entered and continued toward the high board. Cait tried to figure out a way to return to the kitchen without attracting their attention.
“I’ll have ale,” the laird called out. Cait looked up noting that he spoke to a kitchen maid who’d followed them with a pitcher in each hand.
While they were served, she picked up the now empty tray and hurried from the room.
“It is a wonderful proposition,” her mother said. They’d just finished eating and sat in chairs outside the front door of the cottage enjoying the last of the daylight. “If we go with Mister Stuart, ye will have a good position and yer brother will have work as well.”
Her mother studied her for a moment. “Ye must push those feelings aside lass. Men like him, while enticing, are not meant for the likes of women like us.”
“I understand Mother. I heard it from Torac as well,” Cait replied. “That is why I hesitate to accept. I do not wish to continue pining over him. It is ridiculous. ’Tis not like I am a wee lass with little sense.”
Her mother laughed. “When it comes to matters of the heart, we are always wee lasses.”
“Accept the offer dear,” her mother said. “When he sends for ye, we will be ready to go.”
A rabbit hopped past and Cait considered trapping it until she noticed two tiny ones following behind it. Her lips curved as the rabbit hurried her brood back under the bushes.
“We have traveled far to settle here,” she said absently. “Lady Ross assures me I will always have a position. If we do not go, ye do not have to worry Mother.”
At her mother’s silence, she looked to her and noted she’d fallen asleep. Although she’d grown stronger, she was still delicate. Cait did want a better, more comfortable life for her mother. A home without drafts or a leaky roof.
She let out a sigh. “I could accept the offer.”
“Good,” her mother replied, her lips curving and eyes remaining closed.
Cait laughed. “Mother, ye were faking!”
The next day, Cait took her time walking back to the keep as she didn’t have to work until the next day. It was just easier to leave the day before her shift began to keep from having to walk there so early in the morning.
A long sigh escaped at the thought of Stuart leaving soon. As much as she had tried to fight against it, she was deeply fond of him. Accepting his offer to go to the new house still meant she would not see him for a long while. According to what she’d heard, it would be months before the house on his land was habitable.
So, she had to wait. Her mother would not withstand living in a temporary shelter, exposed to the elements. Although it was early fall, it rained often and there was no guarantee all would be completed before winter when the weather would become decidedly colder.
The sound of a horse’s nicker brought her out of her musings. She stepped sideways from the path to avoid being seen. Then peering around the tree, she saw Stuart. He held up a pair of ducks. “For yer mother.”
He beamed with pride and she couldn’t help but smile. “She will be delighted. Thank ye.”
“I will take them to her now.”
When he rode around her and went in the direction of the cottage, Cait wasn’t sure if she should follow. Instead, she decided to continue toward the keep.
It wasn’t much later when he returned and reported that indeed her mother was quite happy with the offering. He dismounted and walked alongside her.
“I have been thinking,” he started. “That I did not properly make ye an offer to come with me.”
Cait held out a hand to stop him from speaking. She wanted to accept, but first she had to find out as much as she could, as this move would not be only for her, but her family as well.
“Tell me about yer lands.”
He nodded. “It is not as flat as here. There are tall hills and a deep valley. Near the hill furthest from the seashore is where the larger house sits. The nearby village is by the shoreline and a bit smaller than the one near here, my family has a smaller house there. The people there are a hardy lot. A bit rough, but I suppose that is the way of living by the sea.”
“Where will ye live?”
“At the larger house, which is in dire need of repairs.”
He became animated as he spoke. “I wish to clear the land and raise livestock and have fields of wheat and . . . well, lots of other crops. To be honest, I am leaving that portion to men who understand farming.”
“It will take ye a long time to have everything repaired and ready then?”
“Aye,” he met her gaze. “It will take months.” Stuart took her hand, and she was too shocked by the action to do more than allow it. “Come let us sit for a moment.”
They walked off the path and into a small clearing. Like most highlanders, he had a tartan in the bag that hung from the saddle. He spread it on the ground and motioned for Cait to sit. Then he produced a carrot and gave it to his horse. Finally, he pulled a wineskin from the same bag and sat down next to her.
“I understand yer reasons for hesitating. It is all my fault. To help ye understand, I must explain that compared to my brothers, I have felt adrift. It is as if each of them has accomplished something. This move, to take control of what is mine and rebuild it, has given me purpose. I wish to share my life there with ye.”
Cait met his gaze. There was so much in his eyes that she didn’t understand. It was as if he wanted her as a woman, but at the same time, she sensed he held back.
“I do not know what to say…”
“Say that ye will consider it.”
She smiled and nodded. “I am considering it but understand that I have to think of my mother and brother first.”
“Of course. They are welcome to come as well. It may be late fall, perhaps winter, before the house will be habitable.”
A noisy flock of birds flew overhead, and they both looked up following their flight. Cait wished time would stand still and that for a while longer, she could pretend Stuart was a man who could be hers. Someone she could trust with everything. Her heart. Her body. Her soul.
“What are ye thinking about?” he asked.
“What I have noticed about ye,” Cait replied. “Each of yer brothers look to ye for council. They trust ye to keep a level head and see predicaments from all angles. Even the villagers and servants, when presented with a particularly difficult situation ask to speak to ye.” She let out a breath. “Ye have been fulfilling a very important role in the family all along.”
His eyes widened and he studied her before finally nodding slowly. “Thank ye for saying that. It was not something I had considered.”
“I am right in what I say. I have observed as much,” Cait said, enjoying the moment. Spending time with him there that afternoon was like a gift.
“Ye are a good woman Cait. It would be an honor if ye would accept my courtship.”
“I-I…” She wanted to accept, to think he was sincere. Yet her mind and heart conflicted with one another, and she was left without words.
However, she wanted one moment for herself. A selfish interlude that would belong to her alone. On impulse, she slid closer, leaned forward, and kissed him. Stuart needed no further prodding. His muscular arms came around her, pulling her close as he deepened the kiss.
His lips traveled from her mouth down to her neck. Cait gasped when he kissed a trail to the top of her breasts, pushing them from below so that they were exposed.
She slid her hand under his tunic enjoying the feel of his warm skin. It was bold; but at the same time, she was possessed by a need she didn’t understand. Cait tugged the fabric upward and Stuart removed it.
He remained still as she ran her fingers across the expanse of his bare chest and then down the center over a thin trail of hair.
Stuart was magnificent.
Once again, he took he
r mouth and guided Cait to her back and he lay beside her. As they continued to kiss, they became entangled. Her leg over his. His between hers. Their hands discovering all they could of each other.
Moments later, Cait’s top was untied and her breasts free. Stuart covered them with kisses, sucking the tips into his mouth sending her to heights she never knew existed. She was aware there was more to come, and she craved it.
She gasped with delight when Stuart’s hand slid under her skirts and up her leg. The calloused palm sending waves of sensations up her body and back down to between her legs. There it pooled into a delicious molten heat that needed sating.
“Oh,” she whispered into his ear, nibbling at the lobe with quiet desperation. His soft moan telling her he enjoyed what she was doing. Emboldened, she licked down the side of his neck, loving the salty taste of his skin.
“Cait,” he whispered, turning his head, and taking her mouth. When his tongue delved into her mouth, she loved the intrusion.
Her breath caught as he ran his fingers up her inner thigh. It was too much. She could faint from so many sensations at once. And yet, she urged him to take more.
At first, she wasn’t sure what to think as Stuart slid his fingers between the folds of her sex. The touch jolted her and she tensed. When he repeated the movements, she was lost and gave into what would come next.
Every nerve in her body tingled with anticipation and she clung to him wanting to feel more, the need insatiable.
His harsh breaths combined with his touch was so unbearably wonderful that she cried out. Thankfully, his mouth covered hers in time to quiet the sound.
“Stuart,” Cait gasped. “I cannot withstand more. I-I . . .”
It was as if she fell to pieces, broke apart into fragments of herself that would never return to their proper places.
In that moment, she was forever changed.
Chapter Eleven
Cait leaned back against him as they rode to the keep. Every few minutes, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
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