“You really love her.”
“James and I both do. She means everything to us and her love for us is more than we could have ever hoped to have in our lives.”
Julie had a lot to think about. According to Abby, she was the problem, not Deanna. History really did have a way of repeating itself. She had simply waited and let Chad end their marriage instead of acknowledging what she knew to be true. By doing so, she had made herself the victim even though she had told herself she could have tried harder. The fact was she hadn’t. And it was the same with her family. She had in her own way encouraged the distance between them to grow. Not until she had shown up unannounced on their doorstep because she was running away from yet another situation she didn’t want to face did she see that she was as much to fault and maybe even more so than those she had convinced herself had turned their backs on her. She had embraced her own lack of confidence—never taking responsibility for her own actions.
And now, if she went to the three of them, would they want to hear the truth from her lips or accept her apology? Would it be enough for them to want her back in their lives? And if they did, would she be able to embrace the life they offered?
Chapter Twenty-One
A week had passed since she and Abby had lunch, and still she hadn’t found the courage to go to see the men she knew she would always love. And she did love them. Wallowing in her own self-pity was something she had been doing for so long she wore it like a cloak. She knew what she should do, what she needed to do, but the thought of their rejection had paralyzed her. However, unless she wanted to live the rest of her life with a regret that could destroy any hope she had for happiness, she needed to overcome her fear and weakness.
James had a meeting scheduled with Mark the following day to discuss staffing for a couple of events that she was spearheading. She should be the one meeting with Mark, not James. Not that James had said that to her, but it was obvious he had enough of his own work to do without taking on hers, too. Seeing Mark could be the first step in taking back control in not only her professional life, but also in her personal life. If he refused to speak to her, she would at least know what she was up against.
The thought of seeing him again was exhilarating and terrifying. If he slammed the door in her face, she knew she deserved it. However, as devastating as that would be, it was a chance she had to take. When she had spoken with James, after a visit with a client, about the meeting, he had readily agreed.
“This is a move in a positive direction, Julie. Mark’s a good man, and just so you know, he always asks about you. Not that he dwells on it, but he always wants to know how you’re doing.”
“Does he? You never told me that before.”
“Well, you acted like you didn’t want to know anything about our meetings other than the end result. Unlike Abby, I’m not one to push when I think it’s not my place.”
“And yet you agreed with both her and Kelly to go to Noah behind my back.”
“Yes, I did. I’m sorry if you felt betrayed. But if Abby’s meeting helped you to take back your meetings with Mark and possibly confront your own demons, then so be it.”
“Abby did the right thing. I still have demons, as you referred to them, but I’m trying.”
“I know you are. We’re here to help you, Julie. I think seeing Mark again can do nothing but help regardless of what transpires.”
“So, tomorrow’s meeting is off your calendar and on mine,” she said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster. First steps were always the hardest.
That night, she tossed and turned. Images of how Mark had taken her right there in his office made it difficult to keep her body under control. She tried to put them out of her head, but details she had fought so hard to suppress wouldn’t leave her alone.
When she woke, she felt the effects of a restless night. She downed several cups of coffee before she took her shower. Walking naked from the shower into her bedroom, she began to dress for what could be the most important meeting of her life.
Julie knew it was highly unlikely that Mark would want her the way he once had, and yet when she went to pull on her little white lace panties, she ended up tossing them on the bed. It was stupid to hope that he would pick up where they left off, but for some reason leaving her apartment pantyless gave her confidence. No matter what happened, she was taking control of her life and not letting her insecurities control her. She prayed Mark would be, if not happy to see her, at least willing to meet with her. She had thought about asking James to call him, but had thought better of it. She hoped having the element of surprise would work in her favor.
The door to Mark’s office was open, and his secretary was not at her desk. Julie hesitated before she knocked on the open door and walked in. Mark looked up. His jaw dropped. It took him a second before he spoke. “Julie? My God, is it really you?”
“Hello, Mark. I’ll be meeting with you today. I hope that’s okay.”
“Of course,” he said, recovering slightly from the shock of seeing her. “It’s good to see you.”
“I wasn’t sure if you would feel that way or not. It’s good to see you, too.”
Mark motioned for her to sit down. He turned from her to pull a file from his desk drawer. She couldn’t help but let her eyes drink him in. He looked like he might have lost a couple pounds. She had never thought he needed to, but he had always joked about eating less and working out more. She liked his husky frame and how easily he could fold her into his massive arms, making her feel so small and feminine. She envisioned him naked, his cock dripping for her. She unconsciously licked her lips. She felt his eyes on them. She wanted to look away but forced herself not to look away. She shivered slightly.
He looked broke their gaze first to rummage through his bottom desk drawer for another file. Coughing, he placed the files on his desk and opened the one on top. “I think I have all the details James gave me concerning your upcoming events. I just want to confirm the numbers and then look at the staff that are available. I know he had issue with a couple of the bartenders. Do you have anything to add before we get started?”
Julie breathed a sigh of relief. He was letting her off the hook. He wasn’t going to demand she explain herself. But was that what she really wanted? She felt her naked pussy contract. What she wanted was him. But first, she’d talk business.
James, as usual, had been very thorough. He had made her aware of the bartender issue. They had to take responsibility for the guests not getting drunk. It was a legal issue as well as one that their clients wanted to control. She and Mark discussed it at length, and the two new men he suggested who were older would be less intimated by the guests. The rest of the staff issues were easy and within less than an hour, the meeting was concluded.
“If you feel you need more waiters, just give me a call. I think that wraps it up.”
“Thank you, Mark. As usual, you’re taking good care of us.”
Mark smiled, but she knew it wasn’t a real smile. Maybe he wasn’t as happy to see her as she had initially thought. It was now or never, if she were going to say what she really came to tell him.
“Mark, I wanted to see you. I needed to see you,” she began. He leaned back in his chair, his arms folded, his features stony and cold.
“If you want me to leave, I will. But I hope you’ll hear me out.”
“Noah warned me that this could happen. You coming to my office.”
“What else did he warn you about?”
“He told both Keith and me about his meeting with your friend Abby. Did you think he wouldn’t?”
“No. I mean, of course I thought he would tell you. I had no idea she would go to Noah. But, honestly, I’m glad she did.”
“I wish you had gone to him first.”
Julie nodded. “I know what I did was wrong on all counts. I’ve only recently begun to understand what motivated me to act so horribly to you. Deanna was the catalyst, but I let myself be manipulated, and then I made everythin
g worse. I’m so sorry, Mark.”
She didn’t want to cry. She didn’t want him to feel sorry for her. Looking down at her lap, she waited for what could be her dismissal from his office and his life.
“Trust is everything to us. I thought you knew that. Noah was actually somewhat prepared for your complete lack of consideration. Keith and I, on the other hand, weren’t. You have no idea how you hurt us, do you, Julie?”
“I hurt you, but I hurt myself, too. I used Deanna and my own insecurities to make what I did seem like the right thing to me. I told myself I was putting Kelly and our business ahead of my own needs, but the truth was, I was looking for a way to run from a love that I wouldn’t let myself embrace. I was wrong to do that. I wish I could change what I did, but I can’t.”
“Do you? Do you really? Or are you just saying that to make yourself feel better for the pain you caused us when you told us you didn’t want us? You basically said you didn’t want the kind of relationship that you had with us.”
“You never told me you loved me,” Julie shot back. “How was I to know you really cared for me? I thought it was just sex for the three of you.”
“We didn’t tell you we loved you because we didn’t think you could handle it. We knew you were new to our lifestyle and we didn’t want to frighten you. We wanted to continue to show you our love in hopes that you would see it for yourself. We wanted you to love us, Julie.”
“I do. I do love you.”
“Nothing but words,” Mark said, pushing himself away from the desk. “Let’s face it. If Abby hadn’t gone to Noah, you’d never be here now. The fact is, I’d probably never have seen you again. So much for love.”
“I’ll admit my imperfections run deep. But I’m trying to change. Can’t you see how hard it was for me to come here today? If it’s more than words you need to convince you…”
She walked around the desk, glad his door was shut. With both hands, she lifted the skirt of her suit up to expose her naked pussy. She moaned softly from the feelings of lust that consumed her.
Mark’s eyes widened. “Julie, don’t.”
“You wanted more than words. I want you to see my need. I dressed for you, Mark, just the way you like. I love you and I want you to love me. Can’t you give me another chance to prove my love?”
“This isn’t fair,” he uttered, his eyes glued to her pussy. He groaned as his fingers reached out to touch her.
She spread her legs wider, encouraging his exploration. “I want your cock inside me. Please, Mark.”
He removed his hand. “Pull your skirt down.”
“Why?”
“Because as much as I want you, I’m not playing this game with you. If all you want is a good fuck, I’m sure there are men out there who would gladly give it to you.”
Releasing her skirt, she stood back for a moment before turning around in defeat. She picked up her purse and started to walk to the door. How could she have thought he would ever want her again? She had betrayed them and now it was too late. She was almost out the door when she stopped herself. She couldn’t just walk away like she always did. She had to fight. She turned around to face him.
“I’m not giving up so easily, Mark. I always have in the past, but not now. Tell Noah and Keith I’m coming over tonight. If you’re not all there, I’ll come again tomorrow night and every night until I see all three of you. If you don’t want me in your lives anymore, I’ll have to learn to live with that. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to repeat my past mistakes and just walk away without telling all three of you how I feel.”
Not waiting for Mark’s response, she turned on her heel and left. When she was finally in her car, she let out a cry. She hugged the steering wheel as her body was wracked with sobs. Regardless of her false bravado with Mark, she wasn’t sure she would be able to suffer all three of them looking at her the way had.
* * * *
Mark went to his window and watched Julie emerge from the building and walk to her car. He could tell by the set of her shoulders that she felt defeated. His heart was breaking watching her, but he couldn’t just take her into his arms, not after the way she had acted, and certainly not without being sure she wasn’t going to run from them again. And it wasn’t just his decision. Was she really ready for what they offered? Once she was in her car, he turned back to his desk and sat down. He picked up his cell phone to call Noah.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Noah’s flight had arrived early. He saw there was a message from Mark when he checked his phone on the way to baggage claim. Mark rarely called him when he was out of town. Noah called him back as he waited for his luggage.
“Julie stopped by today.”
“I’m not surprised. What did she say?”
“You really aren’t surprised, are you?”
“No,” Noah said. “Not in the least. I knew eventually she would have to come to terms with what she did. I’m just sorry it took her this long.”
“She offered herself to me.”
Noah had to admit that did surprise him. He hadn’t expected her to use sex so quickly.
“Not even an ‘I’m sorry’ first.”
“She said she was sorry. She’s coming over tonight to see the three of us.”
“I wish you hadn’t agreed to that.”
“I didn’t. She said she was coming over tonight and every night until the three of were there and would talk to her.”
“I see.”
“Will you be home tonight, Noah?”
“I’ll be home, but I’m not sure seeing her is a good idea. I can’t go through this again. It was horrible having to acknowledge her lack of trust and faith in us. I won’t put myself in a position like that again. I wouldn’t think you would either.”
“I didn’t do what I wanted to that beautiful body of hers. I want more than that, too.”
“Have you talked to Keith yet?”
“I left him a message.”
“I’ll be home early. We’ll decide how to handle this.”
Noah went directly to the office and put out a few fires involving his authors, but all he could think about was Julie. Creative people could be so childish at times. However, they were brilliant writers and he didn’t want to lose them. The one he had wanted to lose, Deanna, was still hanging on for dear life even though he had banished her back to New York. He had no clue what a bitch she was when he married her and the lengths she would go to get what she wanted. By the time he had, the damage had been done. And the fact that she had the audacity to come back for a repeat performance, and that he had almost bought it, made him even angrier at himself.
The good news was she was back in New York and would stay there unless she wanted to commit professional suicide. He had played her game expertly when he had her sign a fifteen-year contract with him. He had counted on the fact that she would be so anxious to be back on his payroll, she wouldn’t bother reading the fine print.
He had taken pleasure in the surprise on her face when he had finally told her at what she thought was to be a romantic dinner exactly what the legalities of her contract entailed. He had exclusive rights over everything she wrote. Her stories would never see the light day if she ever bothered him or anyone he cared about again. She was lucky he hadn’t pressed charges against her for theft the first time around. This time, he wasn’t about to let her get away her manipulative game of blackmail. He had trusted her once, but he would never trust her again. Could he ever trust any woman?
He called Julie more times than he could count after she had left. She had either ignored his calls or sent a group e-mail to the three of them that was nothing but lies. He hated that she didn’t trust them and thought lying to them was her only option. She had not only disappointed him, she had broken his trust along with his heart. Mark and Keith had been devastated by her betrayal. They still hadn’t recovered. Mark’s call today only reinforced how vulnerable to her they all still were.
He knew they were going to see her toni
ght before they even met to discuss the possibility. How a woman could give herself to them with such uninhibited desire and what he thought was trust was a memory he couldn’t shake. But for her to turn on them without even giving them the courtesy of hearing the truth was unforgiveable. The night she had come over, she had her lies honed to perfection. The end result being their dismissal from her life.
He had sensed she was lying, and he knew somehow that Deanna was involved. However, he couldn’t completely blame his ex-wife. She had found Julie’s weakness and exploited it, but she hadn’t forced Julie to make the decisions she had with so little regard for them. No, that was all Julie. And that’s what kept him awake at night.
Mark and Keith walked through the front door soon after he had arrived home. They all got changed and then met in the kitchen. Keith spoke first.
“I know I shouldn’t want her back. I know she could still be lying to us. And yet, I want her.”
“You’re right,” Noah agreed. “She couldn’t accept our lifestyle before, why should we believe her now?”
“You didn’t see her today.” Mark shook his head sadly. “I don’t know whether she’s really come to accept what we wanted to give her then and I think we still do. I only know that it took every bit of willpower I possessed to send her away. I’ve never felt this strongly about any other woman in my life.”
“Then we should see her,” Noah said with finality.
“You know how it’s going to end,” Keith said.
“Yes. I know how it will end,” Noah said, his eyes hooded. “With her in our bed. We don’t have to deny ourselves. But we don’t have to be fools about it either.”
* * * *
Julie lifted her hand to knock on the door when it opened. Noah stood staring at her. He looked so damn good she wanted to jump him. However, his cold, deadpan eyes were anything but welcoming.
Catering to Three Page 16