My Once & Future Love (Unsung Knights of the Round Table #1)

by Ruth Kaufman

  “Annora,” he whispered against her ear, “Think clearly for a moment…with your head and not your desire. Are you sure you want to make love? There are other ways a man and a woman can pleasure each other. I won’t ask again.”

  “I want it all,” she whispered as she slid her hand into his hair. “But I want you to be sure, too.”

  In between soft kisses down the side of her neck, he said, “No matter what happens between us, never doubt my desire for you since the day we met. And it seems to increase with each passing day.”

  Annora rejoiced. Morgan had said the words she so needed to hear. He wanted her.

  “Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

  He smiled and took her face between his hands. “Then I have another question for you.”

  Chapter 10

  “Will you take off your clothes?” Morgan asked. “I want to see all of you. I’ve often thought of your lovely body since the night at the stream.”

  The way his softly spoken, erotic words made her feel surprised Annora. She felt no fear that he’d ask her to do anything she didn’t want to do, no worry that he’d dominate her. He’d been thinking about her. Warm tingles blossomed between her legs. She yearned to pleasure him, to learn from him.

  A nagging thought stopped her hands mid-air as they moved to her boy’s tunic.

  Tell him, tell him before you go any further.

  But if she told him, he might not want to proceed.

  “If my seeing you makes you uncomfortable, I can blow out the candles,” he said. “Lovemaking in the dark can be pleasant, also.”

  He thought her hesitation meant she was embarrassed. Which she was, but not enough that she wouldn’t comply with his intriguing request. Only one thing held her back. Shame had kept her from speaking of it to anyone, even him. Yet her past haunted the nether parts of her mind each time he touched her.

  If he were to be her husband, she’d have to bring herself to reveal this deepest secret. But he’d only be with her for a short while. He certainly hadn’t shared his past, much less his deepest secrets. Best to keep the past in the past.

  No need for him to know.

  She slipped off her shoes. Tugging her tunic over her head, she stretched her arms and arched her back. She propped a leg up on the edge of the bed frame and reached beneath her chemise to roll down her hose. Ninian had said no matter how fast a man wanted to move, slow was better. Prolonging the anticipation was key.

  His heated gaze never left her, making her insides quivery. Undressing for him, while he remained completely clothed, roused her need further.

  The last item to go was her chemise. Proudly she stood before him, denying the sudden urge to cover herself with her hands or jump under the covers.

  “Beautiful.” For another long moment, he looked at her. Then he rose.

  Her heartbeat quickened as his garments fell to the floor.

  “You’re beautiful, too.” Perfect, in fact, from his sculpted muscles to the heat of his gaze. She relished the strange, heated sensation at her core. Her fingers itched to touch him.

  Already his manhood was erect.

  She couldn’t wait to find out what he was going to do with it.

  • • •

  At last. Within moments his flesh and hers would meld in one of the oldest rites to survive the centuries.

  Morgan took her in his arms, closing his eyes in bliss as their bodies touched. Skin met skin, hers so smooth and soft. Her breasts flattened against his chest, her woman’s hair tickled his leg. His hand slid down her back to the delectable curve of her rear. He held her, savoring the moment and allowing her to become accustomed to his touch as his erection pulsed.

  He kissed her as he’d longed to do for days, clasping her tight as the kiss deepened. She moaned low in her throat, arousing him all the more. Carefully, he picked her up and lowered her to the bed. Easing himself next to her, his leg over hers, his erection slid deliciously against her thigh.

  “Morgan, wait a moment. I must tell you something,” Annora said.

  He nuzzled her neck, enjoying the softness of her skin and its sweet rose scent. “There can be nothing more important than this. Not now.”

  She put her hand over his. “Please. It has to be now.”

  He sat up, as did she. She slipped beneath the covers and pulled them over her breasts. Her slightly swollen lips and rumpled hair were irresistible, but he kept his hands to himself.

  “I thought I could do this without telling you, but you deserve to know,” Annora said. She tucked her chin to her chest. “I’m not a virgin.”

  Morgan smiled. So that was her concern. He lifted her chin with a finger until she looked at him. “Ah. While I’d have liked to be the first—”

  “The only,” some relative whispered inside his head.

  The first. “—perhaps ’twill ease your mind to know I’m no virgin either?”

  “For some reason men aren’t always expected to be. Another advantage they have over women,” she muttered. “’Tis more than that. How can I say it?”

  His heart began to thud. Uneasiness crept in to replace arousal. He slid closer and wrapped her in his arms. What else could he do to comfort her? “You can tell me anything. It would be an honor for you trust me.”

  How had those words slipped from his mouth? How could it be an honor for her to trust him when he wasn’t willing to honor her in return?

  Fortunately she seemed too caught up in her tale to think of that. He knew she would. How would he handle that reckoning?

  “My uncle Roger thinks everything I have belongs to him. Everything. Including me.” She bit her lip. “Do you know what I mean? Please don’t make me say the words.”

  Morgan swore in several languages. Annora’s uncle had assaulted her.

  If Roger had been anywhere nearby, Morgan would’ve killed him with his bare hands. He tensed in sympathy with the abuse Annora had suffered.

  Annora recoiled, fingers clutching the sheet. A tear tumbled down her cheek. “I know what you must think,” she whispered. “I’m ruined. You see why I had to tell you. You deserve better.”

  With utmost care, he wiped away the tear and forced himself to relax. “Sweet, forgive me. ’Tis not you I’m angry at. Your uncle sparks my rage. What he did doesn’t change what I feel for you.”

  He vowed to make Roger pay for the harm he’d caused her as drew Annora against him and stroked her hair. Each tremble racked him with compassion.

  “He stole my honor.” Her voice was so soft he could barely hear her. “At first I feared Roger had ruined me for other men, that I’d anyone’s touch as I did his. But you and your kisses made me want more. Yet guilt has been eating at me because you didn’t know.”

  Guilt gnawed at him for the secrets, far bigger and much stranger, he kept from her. “It wasn’t your fault.”

  “Roger tried to make me think it was,” Annora said. “He threatened to tell the authorities I seduced him, that immorality and lust were symptoms of my lunacy. He made up a tale about how I went naked to his room night after night and begged him, how he tried to resist but that in the end the flesh is weak.

  “Even if his crime went to trial, I couldn’t be sure a jury would believe me over him, made up as it likely would be of men of the area who might have already heard his other falsehoods about me. I prayed for guidance, for aid.” She bowed her head against his chest. “I was sure God had forsaken me. But since my escape, I’ve been able to find the comfort in prayer I thought lost to me.”

  It both flattered and scared him that she put him on such a pedestal. Despite his unusual powers, he was a man with flaws like any other.

  “Annora, your God would never forsake you,” Morgan said. “He tested you. And you proved you had the strength and courage to survive Roger’s horrid acts and his harsh treatment. Can you accept that?”

  “You aren’t disgusted that I’ve been so used? You still want me?” Hope shone in her golden eyes.

 
“I do,” he said. “I always have. Let me show you how much.”

  “Don’t do it, Morgan,” a voice hissed. “She is not for you.”

  “Call upon your training. Your flesh should not be weak. Exercise restraint,” another added. “’Tis not too late to stop this foolishness.”

  His relatives didn’t know him very well if they thought that. ’Twas far too late. His need for Annora exceeded his will to control it.

  And now he had another reason to introduce her to the wonders of making love. He wanted to replace her memories of violence and force with those of mutual desire and pleasure. He had to restore her faith in herself, her value as a woman. They had no future, but this gift he could give her.

  Morgan would make love to her every way he knew how, but ultimate ecstasy would be denied him. He couldn’t come inside her. No matter what, he wouldn’t risk creating a mixed-blood child.

  “When you bathed in the stream on the way to Llanarglyn—”

  “I’ll never forget our first kiss.”

  Nor when I left you standing there alone. Tonight was about Annora, though, not telling her why he’d stormed away. He hoped she wouldn’t ask. Ever.

  “Would it help to think of that night as a new beginning? To decide that the waters cleansed you of your past and that your life began anew.”

  Her mouth formed an O. She smiled, a glowing smile that sent joy coursing through him. “Yes, that’s what I shall do. Morgan, you’re right. God answered my prayers by sending you to me.”

  By the Grail, Annora, don’t think that. That wasn’t what he’d meant at all. What god of any kind would send a mortal to mix with an immortal apurpose? Only a spiteful, vindictive one.

  “How wise you are. You show me how to believe in myself,” she said. “You make the greatest challenges seem achievable. What will I do without you?”

  His heart overflowed. Morgan kissed her again, infusing every touch with tenderness. Annora kissed him with such passion his erection returned. She slid her arms around him, pulling him full against her.

  “Love me, Morgan.” She wanted this as much as he did.

  Her words, the maelstrom of emotions rushing through him and the way she rubbed against him suddenly changed his mind about the gods and their plans.

  “You were right,” he whispered in her ear. “Divine intervention has brought us together.”

  Whether it had been her Christian God or one of his own leading him to her door, he didn’t know. What he did know was that leaving her would be the most difficult challenge he’d ever faced. Freeing his father, even restoring the true king to the throne would be child’s play compared to saying farewell to Annora.

  If he weren’t careful, he’d fall in love with her.

  • • •

  A huge burden lifted from Annora’s shoulders. Morgan had known exactly what to say, exactly how to ease her fears. She rejoiced in the feel of his body against hers. His heat permeated the coldness that swept over her whenever she thought of Roger.

  Morgan still wanted her. She felt proof of that against her thigh. Maybe he was coming to care for her, too. Despite his talk of leaving as soon as Roger had been displaced so he could continue his quest to rescue his father, Annora wished he’d promise to return to her.

  All thoughts of their problems vanished as Morgan caressed her breasts through the sheet. The warmth of his hand combined with the rasp against her skin sent desire pulsing through her most private parts. He peeled the sheet back to her waist. He looked at her, heightening her anticipation. Then his fingers tweaked her nipples, yielding a new and wonderful sensation. He continued to kiss her as he fondled her breasts, mixing gentle squeezes with tender strokes until she thought she’d melt with delight.

  When his hand moved between her legs, she did melt. A sudden burst of pleasure washed over her. Her body shuddered uncontrollably, making her gasp. Then the delicious spasms retreated.

  “What was that?”

  “Only the beginning of what we’ll share,” he promised.

  Her heartbeat was returning to normal. “Does that happen to you, too?”

  “In a different way.”

  “Show me,” she demanded.

  “I will, later, sweet. There are so many—”

  “Show me now. Make love to me.”

  “I like that you’re so eager.” Morgan moved over her.

  Slowly, carefully, his hard maleness slid over the delicate flesh between her legs, her moistness easing his way. Again pressure built within her as he rubbed against her.

  “Open your legs a little more.” He sounded strained, as if he was holding back.

  “I want it all,” Annora whispered.

  When he thrust into her, she tensed against the sharp pain she expected, but there was none. As she’d hoped, making love with the man she desired brought only pleasure. She relaxed as he slid in and out, increasing his pace, her body easily accommodating his fullness. This intense completeness had been worth waiting for.

  “Annora,” he said softly as he pushed deeper.

  She needed to move. He must’ve known, for he cupped her bottom and guided her hips.

  “Like so. Yes.”

  From deep within her, bliss built again, ready to explode. She couldn’t contain her passion. Her hips moved faster, harder against him. More, she wanted more.

  Rapture engulfed her.

  Morgan tensed and his head dropped back. He moved faster still. Suddenly he tried to pull out, but she raised her hips.

  She felt him pulse within her, and when he moaned and clutched her tighter, she knew he’d found his release. For a long moment he held her, then slipped out of her and left the bed.

  Had she pleased him as much as he had her?

  Annora felt bereft. He was mere feet away, yet she knew the pain of his leaving.

  He wet a small towel in the water pitcher. Gently he washed between her thighs. That he could so intimately touch her, look at her down there, should’ve been disturbing. But she found it intimate.

  He stood and cleaned himself. “We shouldn’t have done that last bit. Sometimes it takes but once to get a woman pregnant.”

  His concern shouldn’t have upset her. She knew he planned to leave. But she was stunned to find she wanted his child. Wanted to build a family with him.

  A dream that could never come true.

  Raising up on one elbow, she said, “Then you’ll be pleased to know I’ve just completed my monthly courses.” Handling them had been another thing that made living on the road a challenge. “’Tis not the time to worry. Come back to me.”

  Morgan returned to the bed and wrapped her in his arms.

  She snuggled, cherishing his comforting warmth. “Morgan, if I ask you something, will you answer honestly? Not just say what you think I want to hear?”

  “Ask.”

  “Did you enjoy that as much as I did?”

  She twisted in his arms so she could see his eyes.

  “My honest answer is yes.” She believed him. “But then, I know ways to enhance my pleasure.”

  Not exactly what she’d wanted to hear. But she wanted to learn some of those ways.

  Morgan looked chagrined, as if he realized what he’d said. “That was an honest answer, not a complete one. What I meant to add is that what we just shared is unlike anything I’ve ever known.” He paused. “Somehow that doesn’t sound as sincere as it should, does it?”

  “No.” Annora laughed, renewed happiness washing over her.

  “It’s true.”

  He kissed her, then blew out the candle by his side of the bed. Holding her, he fell asleep faster than she’d known him to do.

  Never had she been so content. If only he cared for her as much as she cared for him. How could she find such joy, not only of the body but of the spirit, with any other man?

  As he slept, she committed his handsome features to memory, along with the curves of his muscles and the breadth of his chest and shoulders. She had a sudden urge to snip a l
ock of his silver hair to treasure when he was gone.

  For in her heart of hearts, she had to accept that she was the woman of the moment, not the woman with whom he’d spend the rest of his life. They’d enjoy each other, be together for now, but he’d been very clear that his future lay elsewhere. What she’d already shared with Morgan was more than she’d ever expected. So why was she so selfish, so greedy for more?

  Already her body craved his touch, thrumming with need. Annora wanted him to fill her again. Now that she knew how wonderful they were together, she doubted she’d ever stop wanting him.

  Did she dare? Yes. She had to make the most of every minute they had. Her heart pounded in anticipation as she caressed his chest, circling his nipples with a fingernail.

  He slept on. She’d need to be bolder still. She slid her hand over his flat stomach down to his male parts, which rested as he did. Soft and squishy, the skin was wrinkled, so unlike his smooth, firm muscles. Both man and body had to awaken.

  Annora wasn’t sure what to do. She held him in her hand, then squeezed slightly. Nothing. She squeezed again, amazed and pleased when he started to grow and harden in her hand. Now that he was firmer, she could stroke him. She wrapped her fingers around his expanding width, then moved her hand up and down.

  Morgan moaned, a delicious, sensual sound. Her arousal increased as his did. After a few more slow strokes, he was hard.

  Of a sudden he awoke. He smiled at her, eyes half-sleepy but filled with promise as much a reward as his erection.

  “You’re remarkable,” he said, watching her fondle him.

  “Tell me what pleases you.”

  She cupped her hand over the tip of him and squeezed. Then squeezed again.

  He groaned. “Annora, if you don’t stop I’ll—”

  She didn’t want to stop. She wanted to bring him more pleasure than he’d ever thought possible. With slight twists of her hand she resumed up and down motions, applying a little more pressure.

  “If you don’t stop, I’ll—” he repeated as his hips pulsed in time with her strokes. “Oh. That feels good. Just like that. Exactly…like…that.”