by Bill Hicks
Folks, there are no bitter grapes on my part. I love what I do, and I will do it forever – creating and sharing and trying to shed some light and hope to my lovely lost Brothers who need to laugh and be free just like me. Whether I’ll ever be asked to return as a guest on the Letterman show is of no consequence to me. I still think Dave does the best talk show on TV. (Along with Bob Costas and Charlie Rose.) I do not fear CBS, Letterman, or anyone or anything anymore. I’m at peace with myself and the world and my God. I only pray everyone will find that same peace within themselves, as I know in my heart they will. The Voice of Reason told me that, and if you think about it, it really is the only thing that makes sense. The answer to the philosophical question I posed earlier, ‘What could oppose God’s will?’ is ‘Nothing’. And God’s will for his beloved children is perfect happiness and remembrance of Him and his eternal love for us. We are undergoing evolution, and will continue to do so until all of us awaken to this Truth. Our awakening can be as gentle or harsh as we want to make it. Personally, I prefer the gentle awakening I’ve experienced in my own life. But, as always, you are free to choose your own route to Heaven. In the end, it really doesn’t matter. We’ll all make it there in the end. I’m reminded of a quote by the brilliant Noam Chomsky, a personal inspiration to me: ‘The responsibility of the intellectual is to tell the TRUTH, and expose lies.’ While I do not consider myself an intellectual by any stretch of the imagination, his quote, coincidentally is the same way my parents taught me how to live. So in honor of them, I’ll continue doing what I’ve been doing, the best way I can. Then, I’ll see you all in Heaven, where we can really share a great laugh together . . . forever and ever . . . and ever. With love,
Bill Hicks
Final thoughts . . . You know. This postulating on the power the pro-life movement wields against the cowards (co-conspirators?) of network television and mainstream media in general has finally led me to a conclusion I’ve been trying to draw on my own thoughts and Feeling about abortion. Here it is: the answer to that confounding question of when, exactly, does the foetus become a human being? Well, after my dealings with television producers and the bureaucratic twits that run the networks has led me to a rather novel answer to that question: I know now of some adults who have yet to develop into real human beings. This realization helps me rest easy with my own pro-choice stance regarding abortion. The pro-lifers themselves remind me less of human beings than a frothing pack of mad dogs impervious to logic, reason, or facts that seem to be the defining characteristics of human beings, and the difference between the lower’ order of animals.
I’m reminded yet of another quote, one by Thomas Jefferson that I believe sums up my whole problem with mainstream television. He said, ‘I know of no safe depositary of the ultimate powers of society other than the people themselves; and if we deem them too unenlightened to exercise their power with a wholesome discretion, the answer is not to take it from them, but to inform (them).’
If television considers itself in any way the moral arbiter of our society, I think it goes a long way towards explaining the awful situation our culture is in. For television has not ‘informed’ the people but instead deformed them by deforming reality and presenting it 24 hours a day on 52 channels . . . no wonder we feel so confused, afraid, and out of control when this is the reflection presented to us as life’. There can be only one answer – turn it off, open your window and listen to the breeze and the crickets and the silence that has nothing to sell to us, but gives freely – this is Reality.
A copy of the original letter from Bill Hicks to David Letterman. A transcript of the letter is printed opposite.
Dave,
I just wanted to drop you a line wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
David, apparently some misunderstanding has occurred between us all, leaving me in the dark with just my version of how things were, and many unanswered questions. As we have been, in my mind’s eye, at least ‘friends in the business’ I thought maybe you could help me understand just a little better.
Starting in January, I became a regular contributor for the prestigious (read: no money) newspaper – ‘The Nation’. (For some reason, egg heads treat me as their own. Hmmm . . . well, they’re nice enough folk!) Anyway, I’ve enclosed a copy of my first contribution, to be used by ‘The Nation’ as a running series entitled ‘Bill Hicks on Television . . . Sometimes.’ The events and aftershocks of that last ‘situation’ on your show have inspired all these introspective ideas regarding television. If you have time, I’d love for you to read this, and perhaps add your version to my tiny understanding. I’ve yet to send the article to ‘The Nation’, and I’d love to rewrite it so it has a happier ending. Again, at your leisure. But just remember – they’re going to request this soon.
Also I’ve included a Macanudo cigar, to return the wonderful favor when you gave me that Cuban beauty during the commercial break. I know Macs don’t hold a candle to what you smoke. Then again – my career is not at the well-deserved lofty height of your own.
Your ‘TV pal’,74
Bill Hicks
P.S. I’m writing you on the eve of my 32nd birthday. Christmas is just around the corner. You know what I want, besides us clearing the air? A copy of my last set on your show! My folks think I fucked up! Help!
A copy of the original letter from Bill Hicks to Jay Leno. A transcript of the letter is printed opposite.
Jay,
Just wanted to drop you a line, wishing you and Mavis a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Look, my friend, I know I’ve perhaps seemed a bit . . . impassive (?) . . . in responding to your extremely cordial and personal invitation to be on your show.
The reason is, as I said to you before (or tried to) was that I’ve finally got my own series green-lighted for the prestigious (read: artsy) Channel 4 in the UK. Literally, all of my time is being spent preparing for the show. (A situation I’m sure you’re familiar with!) After I get this ‘bug’ out of my system, if you are still interested, I’m all ears for your ideas. (Jay, I’ve been asked repeatedly to go back on Dave’s show and have demurred for this exact reason . . . Well, there’s a couple of other reasons as well, I’m sure you can imagine.)
Look, I can take a hint. For some unknown reason, I’ve been allowed to ‘do my thing’ in the UK, where I am totally accepted for who I am, and for all the right reasons. So I’ve had to go pull a Hendrix thing . . . so what? Not a bad set of artistic footprints to follow in, eh?
And one other thing: what I’ve ever said regarding your show, is being said by a lot of people other than myself. Alexander Woolcott of New Yorker fame to name just one. These things are not said in ‘hate’, nor said by ‘enemies’. It’s more or less like how we all will ‘run down’ our own best friend (or even ourselves at times). ‘You know what Mark needs to do is . . .’ etc., etc. These statements are done from a concerned and interested party. Not an ‘enemy’. It is in fact a sign of how much an influence you’ve played in my life, this interest and intriguing kind of questions. I hope you don’t take it personally, or seriously.
Your friend,
Bill Hicks
The Vision
(18 December 1993)
I had a vision last night while getting my first massage in over five months. The masseuse’s name was Lola and she brought out the best in me. As you know I’ve been trying to learn to ‘transcend’ my whole life. Last night, while she massaged me to the music of Yanni (of all people), I transcended at least once, maybe twice. I’m absolutely positive I transcended once because I saw into the future and had a vision. The vision details how I, my lovely wife Colleen and my two children (also in the future) will leave this world, and this planet, and it was most fine. Let me tell you about this vision I had . . .
First of all, obviously Colleen and I were mates and had two children. The children were around four and five years old. I’m not sure if they were a boy and girl, or two boys, or two girls, but I can g
uarantee you one thing – they were one or the other. In fact, the more I think of it, I saw a boy around five, and a little pigtailed girl, around four, both with golden hair, wearing jeans and dungarees, just like their Pa. Pa was also wearing a cool hat and jacket like Jed Clampett of Beverly Hillbillies fame, or Paul Newman in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Pa seemed to be around forty-six years old. By the time this occurred, Pa and Ma had built and lived in their house for several years. In fact, long enough for Pa’s dog Lustre to mature and act as general to two Danes who were now three or four. We were all totally at peace, living Heaven on Earth, or so we thought at first, although there was still more to come – we were already living much of our dreams, had realized them, or were basically just rich in abundance beyond our wildest imaginings. We were free in all aspects of the word. We just kept giving love freely to make room for new love and new happiness. God was guiding and teaching us, and we were happy to follow, just basking in his peace and his never-ending love. On this particular day, we had been playing in the yard, swinging on swings, wrestling with our two Dane pups named Crotus and Chiron, cuddling with The General – Lustre, a handsome Border Collie who sometimes takes his duties far too seriously. Lustre was my best friend, my first dog. He’s sharp as a whip and can keep Crotus and Chiron in line with one commanding yap. Crotus and Chiron look up’ to Lustre. He is their leader, The General, and he’s all dog in the best possible sense of the word.
Suddenly, the Danes and Lustre pricked up their ears, looked at each other, then me. They seemed excited and a little nervous. They began running in a circle around me, then suddenly took off, towards the rolling hills that surrounded our beautiful house. I called for them to come back, but they were really hot on the trail of something. A rabbit? No, they’re better trained than that. Something ‘big’ had captured their entire attention, and off they went. Colleen and the children were laughing excitedly, then they went running after the dogs, laughing all the while. I was a little miffed, because I called out to them as well and their response was much like the dogs. Totally ignoring me. ‘It’s probably just a rabbit!’ I yelled. But they didn’t even hear me, intent as they were on ‘getting in on the hunt’, as it were. I sighed, then took off after them all. By this time, the dogs were out of sight, over a hill, and all I heard was their occasional manic barking. ‘Wow,’ I thought, ‘maybe there’s an intruder on the property.’ With that thought in mind, I picked up the pace a little bit. As I closed the gap between me and my family, we were going up a rather large rolling hill. The dogs were just over the hill and they were barking furiously, though excitedly. As Colleen and the young ’uns reached the top of the hill they stared in wonder and pointed excitedly down into a little valley where the dogs were. Colleen then turned towards me, wide-eyed, and said ‘Come here! You’re not going to believe this!’ Now I was most curious. I then noticed a sun in the sky. Not the sun, because the sun was setting behind and to the left of us. Another sun shone brightly in the sky, and in fact seemed to be floating right above the little rolling valley where all this interest was being focused. My jaw dropped a little, and I paused in my efforts to take a deep breath and ponder about what this could mean. Colleen yelled ‘Come on! You don’t want to miss this!’ Finally I revived my pace and then was standing with my family in my arms looking at the new ‘sun’ and then down into the valley. ‘Oh,’ I thought, ‘it must be time to go . . .’ There in the valley, pretty as you please, sat a huge round disc. The sun overhead started circling rapidly around us and the disc. My hands were being tugged by the two children, and Colleen was pushing me from behind. ‘Come on!’ she said, laughing. ‘This is what you’ve been waiting for your whole life!’ We started down the hills towards the disc. The only dog visible was Crotus. He was standing on a ramp that led to a door into the ship. He was barking furiously at me to hurry up and come. We started running now towards Crotus, all of us laughing, crying, and trying to take everything in at once. We ran up the ramp to Crotus, who leapt up on his back paws and gave me a big sloppy kiss. Colleen pulled on my hand, and we stumbled on through the door onto the ship. There was this great whooshing sound. I stopped on the ramp and looked back one last time at our planet. So gentle and sweet our life had finally become, the beautiful golden rolling hills, I could see our footsteps in the grass and wondered what all this would look like after we left. Our front door was left standing wide open, our footsteps running through the grass, up the hill then down into this valley where they would disappear in a great impression left by the disc. ‘What would people think?’ I wondered. Then I began smiling, and then laughing, then roaring with pure joy and laughter. They’d think, ‘Isn’t this just like Hicks?’ At this thought, I stepped into the craft, the door shut and we shot up fast into the space surrounding our planet. On we travelled till the earth was just a dot, then the dot disappeared and we were on our way to our new life and new happiness.
Amen
Bill Hicks Interview Taken From
Campus Activities Today
(January 1994)
After being censored by CBS on his 12th appearance on the Letterman Show, he might be considered America’s most rebellious comedian. But is he? The New Yorker says this Texas comic might have gotten a raw deal. In this interview, you can decide!
On October 1, 1993, Bill Hicks, after making his 12th appearance on the David Letterman Show, became the first comedy act to be censored at CBS’s Ed Sullivan Theatre. It was the Ed Sullivan Theatre where Elvis Presley was censored in 1956. According to New Yorker Magazine ‘Presley was not allowed to be shown from the waist down. Hicks was not allowed to be shown at all. It’s not what’s in Hicks’ pants but what’s in his head that scared the CBS panjandrums. Hicks, a tall thirty-one-year old Texan with a pudgy face aged beyond its years from hard living on the road, is no motormouth vulgarian but an exhilarating comic thinker in a renegade class of his own.’ (November 1, 1993 by John Lahr)
Bill Hicks is a thinker. A bit of a philosopher . . . perhaps a bit of a rebel. He believes that comedy should carry a message and it should be a learning experience. In a review for the San Francisco Chronicle, Gerald Nachman wrote, ‘Bill Hicks is as American as Apple Pie à la cyanide. Love him or leave him, but listen to him. This rapidly emerging comic voice, cutting through the bland comedy-club air like a persistent, ear-shattering smoke alarm, is a different sound in contemporary stand-up humor . . .’
Rick Vanderknyff of the Los Angeles Times says ‘When stand-up comedy experienced its renaissance in the late 70’s, it was heralded as the new rock ‘n’ roll, a clearinghouse for cutting-edge ideas. It was going to be dangerous. It was going to be subversive. Anyone who follows comedy knows what has happened since. The scene flourished, but in all the wrong ways, becoming little more than a proving ground for faceless hacks hoping to land a sitcom or a movie or a TV commercial. Truly funny, original comedians are hard to find: funny comics with ideas should be put on the endangered species list. Bill Hicks is one such comic . . . When Hicks looks out at America, he worries, and when he worries, two things happen: He gets angry, and he gets very, very funny.’
We will admit to you readers. Bill Hicks is different. In this interview, you will have the opportunity to learn more about him . . .
CAT: Tell us a little bit about your style because it is probably a little different from what most schools are used to seeing.
BILL: Well, what I believe, and it is very archaic, by the way, I hold comedy in very high regard. I believe my style is kind of a letting everyone know – I believe that everyone has a voice of reason inside – I believe that it is quelled by the shrieking idiocy of mainstream media that we hear and it has added to our hopelessness on the planet because mainstream doesn’t offer answers, they only continue the problems. And I believe the voice of reason inside of us has the answers if we’d only calm down and listen to it. But what I do on stage is let that voice speak through logic and reason. And of course, I make it funny. The medicine goes down a little e
asier. I don’t know if that is different from other guys, but . . .
CAT: One thing you do is try to make a point. Some comedians are out there to frolic and carry on and to get somebody’s attention but not really to deliver anything serious. I have noticed with your stuff that there is a message to be heard.
BILL: The message is generally reason versus unreason. What makes sense and not what doesn’t make sense. In other words, besides our preconceived notions about the world, the way that we are raised with certain religions and upbringings and the way we’re told ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’, let’s see what really works. Everyone can benefit from logic and reason. That’s kind of the way I take it.
CAT: When I talked to some of the agencies about interviewing Bill Hicks, they say ‘You are not going to want to interview Bill Hicks because he is so blue . . . he is a club comedian.’ Some of the things you say are certainly considered controversial.
BILL: Blue is another connotation. Blue is like I am some guy up there spewing filth out of my mouth and that is not the case. That is really annoying and I haven’t heard that in a long time.
I think we transcended that. I think the profile in the New Yorker, brought out who I truly am by a very learned reviewer. Blue connotes such meaningless filth to me. It’s like the old Red Foxx albums doing nothing but obscene jokes.
CAT: When you think of ‘Blue,’ you think of someone doing just filthy jokes . . .