by J. A. Owenby
“No, it was Patsy who called, so that means something’s up,” I said as I rubbed my forehead.
“You do realize you’re eighteen, right? You don’t need to run home whenever she says to.”
“I wish it were that simple.”
Joss knew when to let it go, and we rode in silence until she pulled up to my car.
The mall was dark and empty and my car was the only one in the parking lot. It creeped me out a little that no one else was around. I knew mall security was inside, but that didn’t help me out any.
“Thanks, Joss, I really appreciate it.” I reached across the seat and gave her a hug. “Enjoy the rest of the party.”
“Don’t worry, Lacey, I’ll throw more parties,” she said. Her nose crinkled as she smiled. I loved her smile. It was the kind of smile that made life a little better because you knew you had a good friend.
“I’ll wait to make sure your car starts.”
“Thanks, Joss,” I said as I closed her car door.
Chapter 3
I didn’t drive the speed limit. I drove right under it until I realized my heart was pounding so hard it was making my head hurt. Life was a roller coaster with Mama. I never knew what to expect from one minute to the next. Patsy wouldn’t call me home for any reason at all, though. It was something big.
I reached our street and stopped on top of the hill for a minute. I stared down at the two-story log home, but it was hard to see the house in the darkness. Even though we had neighbors across the street and here on the hill, our house was well hidden at the end of the cul-de-sac. The grass was overgrown, and the trees were so thick in some places that you couldn’t see the house at all. That’s how Mama liked it. She went to great lengths to protect her privacy.
I pulled into the driveway and hopped out of my Mustang, Georgia. Mama and Patsy had bought her for me not long after graduation. Most of the time throughout high school I’d driven Mama’s car, since she rarely went anywhere. I came home one afternoon to a car in our driveway and asked if we had company. They toyed with me for a while and finally told me it was mine. My face lit up brighter than a Christmas tree when they handed me the keys. That had been a great day, not only because of the car, but because Mama had stayed in a good mood. Those days were few and far between, though.
I took a deep breath and tried to control the rapid pounding in my chest. Rex and Ruger met me at the base of the stairs and demanded my attention. I reached down and pet them both as they licked my hands and face. They always got so excited when I arrived home that they’d beat me half to death with their tails. They were good dogs, and nothing got by them. They barked at anything and everything, and that was one of the biggest reasons I’d never tried to sneak out of the house. I wouldn’t have a chance; they barked to high heaven at the slightest sound. Not only would they wake Mama, but the rest of the neighborhood as well.
As I climbed the stairs to the side door, I heard Mama and Patsy arguing. I quietly opened it and stepped into the kitchen, unsure of what to expect. A large coffee mug flew through the air and smashed into the kitchen cabinet to my left. It broke into a million pieces.
“Dammit, Patsy, you’re just jealous! You’re jealous that I hear God better than you do. I call long distance, two thousand miles away, just to find someone else with the same gift so I can save your sorry ass from going to hell!”
I assessed the situation as quickly as possible: shattered cup, Mama’s hands bunched into tight fists, and her face reddened with anger. Mama’s size alone was intimidating, but when she was mad, her presence was overwhelming.
“That’s not true, Lynn. I brought it up because $932 is a hefty phone bill that we can’t afford to pay. That’s the only reason I asked you to cut back on the calls,” Patsy said.
“I can help pay it,” I said and stepped forward.
Both Patsy and Mama finally acknowledged I was standing in the room.
“Lacey, that’s sweet of you, but it’s not your responsibility,” Patsy said. Her large, brown eyes flashed with gratefulness.
“Patsy’s right, Lacey. You can’t even take care of yourself and stay out of trouble long enough to be of use to anyone else.”
I tried to shake off her words, but they still stung.
“Patsy just doesn’t want me to talk to anyone else,” Mama whined.
I recognized the shift in her voice. We both did; we’d witnessed it a million times.
“Mama, I love you and I don’t mind helping at all. You don’t ask me to pay any rent, so let me help.”
“You and Patsy do whatever the hell you want to do.” Her chin jutted upward as she turned around and walked to her chair. She picked up the remote control and turned on the TV like nothing had happened.
I shot Patsy a look. Relief washed over her face and she tucked a stray curl behind her ear. It was over, for the moment anyway. I’d talk to her about the bill later. I set my purse and books on the kitchen table and picked up the pieces of the coffee mug that were scattered all over the floor. I put them in the trash and arranged the dirty paper towels on top so no one could see the remnants. It was yet another moment where I swept something up and hid it so others wouldn’t see anything broken.
Patsy sat on the couch and acted as though she was watching TV. I glanced over at Mama. Her eyes were closed and she was gently rocking in her chair, which meant she was most likely praying. Hopefully, things would remain calm for the evening. At least tomorrow was Saturday so if Mama was in a bad mood I had an excuse to leave.
I made the descent downstairs into the basement. I reminded myself that I needed to clean the family room; books and papers had piled up over time. Some of it was mine—I used the area to spread my books and papers out for research and homework—but a lot of it was Mama’s stuff. My bedroom was through the family room and tucked away in the back corner. If you hadn’t been back there before, you would never find it. That’s why I picked it.
I kicked through the pile of dirty clothes on my floor, placed my purse and books on my dresser, and flopped onto my bed. I was exhausted from classes, work, and Mama not having a good night. A hot knife ripped through me every time she was upset with us. Part of me wanted to run, but even the thought of not having Mama in my life immediately brought tears to my eyes. She knew me so well; she knew what I could do and what I couldn’t.
The realization of how many times she was right when she heard from God terrified me. I stared at my buttercream-colored bedroom walls and remembered the times I’d been caught toilet papering someone’s house, lying about where I stayed the night, and committing a multitude of other sins. There was no way she could have known about those incidents, so God must really tell her stuff. And the last thing I wanted was to burn in hell.
Mama’s voice startled me from my mental descent to fiery darkness. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but she sounded unhappy. I heard the phone clatter and her footsteps across the living room floor above me. The tone and volume of her voice were enough for me to stay downstairs and out of her way.
Her chair creaked and I let out a slow sigh. I listened for a few more minutes, but I didn’t hear any arguing or loud voices. I glanced at the clock and groaned. How could I be so tired at 9:45 p.m.? If I were still at the party, I wouldn’t even consider crashing out this early.
The party brought my thoughts back to Walker and a small smile passed my lips. I’d never seen eyes so blue, and his dark hair made them even more prominent. He had grabbed my attention when the group arrived at the party. They were all hot, but he was by far the best in the group.
I grabbed my purse off the floor and rummaged for the small piece of paper with his phone number on it. Maybe I would call him tomorrow . . . or not. I wasn’t comfortable picking up the phone and calling a stranger, but he’d asked. I wondered if the phone number was really his.
I folded the paper and put it back into my purse. I would call him tomorrow.
Chapter 4
I rubbed my eyes and glan
ced at my alarm clock. It was 9 a.m. I sat up on the edge of my bed and slid into my fuzzy slippers. I paused for a moment to listen, but only silence responded. Hope flickered through me.
As much as I loved Fridays, I hated Saturdays. I made sure I was scheduled to work every weekend. If I wasn’t, I volunteered to take someone’s shift. My coworkers thought I was a great team player who needed the money, which was true, but I also needed a legitimate excuse not to stay at home.
As I made it halfway up the stairs to the living room, my skin began to itch with the tension in the air. I hesitated and considered going back downstairs, but my stomach growled and propelled me forward.
Mama sat in her favorite chair, and Patsy was on the couch.
“Morning, Lacey.”
“Hi, Mama,” I said. I walked over and placed a kiss on her cheek.
“Does anyone want breakfast?” I asked as I approached the kitchen.
“No, but get yourself something to eat and then I want to talk to you,” she said.
Patsy stared at her feet. I couldn’t read her face, and that put me at a disadvantage. I tingled with the all-too-familiar feeling that something was up, but I couldn’t tell which one of us was in trouble.
“What’s your schedule today?” Mama asked.
“I leave in a few hours and work from noon until six.”
“Well, this won’t take long. You received a phone call last night after nine o’clock and you’re aware of the rules.”
“Who was it?” I asked between spoonfuls of Grape Nuts.
“Some boy named Walker.”
My spoon stopped midway to my mouth.
“Walker?” I squeezed my eyes shut as I realized which one of us was in trouble.
“Do you know a Walker? Don’t you lie to me either. Who’s Walker?”
“I met him last night, but I never gave him my phone number.”
“Well, how in the hell did he get it then, Lacey? You’re lying—it’s written all over your face.”
“No, Mama, I swear I just met him last night. Maybe Joss gave it to him.”
“Tell me who he is and who gave him the number if it wasn’t you. Your friends know not to hand out your information, and they don’t call after nine.”
“Mama, I’m sorry. I’ll find out and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“Yes, you will. I pay for an unlisted phone number, and that means I don’t want it given to other people.”
I got up from the table, rinsed my bowl, and loaded it into the dishwasher.
“I need to get ready for work.”
“No, I’m not finished yet. Come sit down.”
I winced and grabbed the blanket off the back of the chair. I might as well get as comfortable as possible; this was going to hurt.
“Are you lying to me about going to work today?”
“What? No.” I tried to remain calm, but my heart knocked against my chest, and my head began a throb in rhythm with it.
“Where did you meet Walker?”
“At Joss’s last night. Her brother invited friends over and he introduced himself.”
Her eyes narrowed as she searched my face. I had nothing to hide, but I’d been defending my interest in boys since the age of thirteen. I’d been a late bloomer, and when I had my first kiss I told Mama about it. She screamed at me for an hour. She called me a slut and a whore. By the time she finished, I had promised myself never to share those first moments with her again. I took the piece of me that wanted a good relationship with her, locked it, and buried the key.
Mama turned to Patsy. “What do you think, Patsy? Do you think she’s lying?”
I turned to Patsy and mentally reminded her that she owed me for last night. I didn’t have to come home and help diffuse the situation. I could have made up a story about a flat tire and left Patsy to fend for herself.
Patsy glanced at me briefly as fear flickered across her face.
“No, I think she’s telling the truth, Lynn,” she said. Her body tensed up as the words left her mouth.
We both waited in silence for Mama’s reaction.
“Lacey, you’re not trustworthy enough to date boys. You’ve been boy crazy since you were in kindergarten and have made horrible choices since you were thirteen. I thought, after all this time of praying for you, it might help, but there’s something deeper here. I’ve been praying more, and God has shown me you are possessed by a demon. It’s a demon of lust, and it draws you to these boys who just want to sleep with you. Then, you give out our phone number to anyone who pays any attention to you. You don’t show any regard for me, Patsy, or even yourself. I’ve told you before, and I guess I’ll say it again to get it through your thick head. You don’t give out my telephone number unless you ask my permission first. I’ve told you that over and over again. Yet, here you are giving it to some boy you met for five seconds.”
“Mama, I didn’t give it to him,” I snapped.
I sank back in the chair realizing that my frustration had gotten the better of me.
“Shut up, you filthy demon! You won’t take my daughter!” Mama spat.
Silence spread through the air like a bad disease and Mama glared at me. I didn’t dare utter another word. I’d said too much already.
Fear flowed through me, and I tried to ignore the small voice inside my head telling me she was right again. A heaviness settled inside my chest as I realized she was telling the truth. I had made some wrong choices with guys. I didn’t know why I liked the bad boys, but I did. I tried to hide it, but she always found out. I was tired of screwing up and I was sick of hurting Mama. My eyes filled with tears.
“Mama,” my voice came out as a whisper. “I’m sorry. I don’t want a demon. I’ll keep praying and change.”
“That’s what you always say, Lacey, but nothing changes. Don’t you understand how much I love you? Don’t you recognize that I’m protecting you from making mistakes? Lacey, you’re my baby. I realize you’re eighteen, but you’ll always be my baby. I’m saving your soul. I’ll keep fighting and praying for you until we win this battle.”
Her expression softened as she began rocking. The squeak of the recliner was the only sound in the room. I glanced at Patsy. She remained tense and quiet.
I flicked a piece of lint off the blanket. I needed to tell Walker not to call again. I couldn’t date anyone right now; I was too screwed up. No one wanted to be in a relationship with someone who had a demon. I needed to make the bigger choice and stop things before anything else happened.
“Go get ready for work, Lacey,” Mama said.
I wasn’t stupid enough to sit there any longer. I wiped a tear from my cheek as I went downstairs and got ready for work.
Chapter 5
“Hey, Lacey,” Becky said as I walked into the children’s section of the department store.
“Hey, Becky. Was it busy this morning?”
“Not too bad. It’s so nice outside that I think people are at the lake instead of shopping today.”
“That could be good or bad I guess. There’s nothing worse than standing around for six hours,” I said as I punched my ID number into the register.
“Well, since tomorrow’s Sunday and a new sale is starting, I changed the signs for the petite section. You only need to take care of the ad for your department.”
“Thanks, Becky.”
“You okay, hon? You seem a little down.”
“Yeah, I’m good.”
“Okay then, see ya later.”
Becky waved and walked down the aisle past the fine jewelry and men’s suits departments. She’d taken me under her wing when I first started working at the store. Although she was in her forties, we worked well together and had become friends. I’d thought about talking to her at times, but if she ever found out how messed up I was, she wouldn’t want anything else to do with me. I didn’t want to lose her.
No one understood how Mama heard God. They didn’t realize how special her gift was. Even though she hurt me someti
mes, I couldn’t let my friends talk bad about her. She was still my Mama.
The day moved along quicker than I had anticipated. Although the children’s department was small, it typically stayed steady with customers. We sold great clothes, and some of the kids were beyond cute. I wasn’t sure I wanted kids personally, but I figured working around them would take care of any baby cravings for years to come.
I glanced at the clock: 5:45 p.m. Only fifteen minutes left.
“Hi, I was wondering where the toddler shirts are?”
I froze immediately, recognizing his voice. My eyes flicked up and met the same pair of intense blue eyes I’d seen at Joss’s last night.
“Walker? What are you doing here?” I tried to hide my surprise, but I never expected him to show up at my job.
“Well, I was a little concerned about calling you last night. Your mom wasn’t too happy when she answered the phone. I decided to call Tammy and ask her where you worked, so here I am. I wanted to talk to you,” he said. His eyes gleamed as he rested his hands on the counter and leaned toward me.
“Tammy? Did she give you my phone number too?” I asked as I crossed my arms in front of me.
“Yeah, after you left the party she came over and started talking to me. I’m sure she’s nice, but I wasn’t interested in anything other than getting your phone number. She was cool about it and helped me out.”
My brows knitted together as I realized who had caused me so much grief with Mama.
“Walker, Tammy wasn’t being cool about it, she was mad. She knew Mama would be hot pissed if you called after nine.”
“Lacey, I’m so sorry, I did call late. I just wanted to talk to you and make sure you were okay. You mentioned leaving due to a family emergency.” He stepped back from the counter and ran his hand through his dark hair.
“It’s alright, Walker. It’s not your fault. Tammy was playing her games. I’ll deal with her later.”
“Am I allowed to call anymore?” His jaw tightened as he waited for my response.
“I’m not sure. Besides, what if I don’t want you to call me?”