Between her mom being gone and all this stuff with Julian, Cruz, and now Rachel—it was just too much. She flung herself onto the bed, burying her face into the pillow, and gave into the tears which soon became full sobs.
By the time she was done, she didn't feel any better. And her head hurt on top of everything else. Maybe she should just call Cruz instead of wasting her time and energy worrying. None of this was getting her anywhere.
Talia found her purse, dug out her phone, and called Cruz. The call went to voicemail. "You know what to do, yo." Beep.
She ended the call. That message was so… Cruz. She thought about texting him, but he would see the missed the call, so there really wasn't any point.
Her Bible caught her attention, sitting alone and neglected on the shelf. She picked it up and sat down, flipping through the pages. So many pages had highlights and notes written the margins. One in particular caught her attention and she stopped.
He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name.
The creation is all important to God, but the most important is people—those created in His image. She read the psalm a few more times. If God took so much care with the stars, how much more did He take with her?
Everything in her life had been determined by Him, no matter how painful. Somehow, even if she couldn't see any possibilities, everything would work out. Maybe giving Cruz space was what was needed. It was glaringly obvious that she needed some time to herself, too.
Twenty Three
Guilt tugged at Cruz as he scrubbed the mirror. He'd spent the last few days ignoring the world—including, or maybe especially, Talia—while cleaning and organizing the shop. He'd gotten a lot done, but knew he couldn't hide forever. It was easier to clean than to face his feelings, and the ones he had for Talia were strong.
He pressed harder on the glass. He'd seen—and ignored—her missed calls. She hadn't been overbearing, calling only a couple times a day, not even leaving any messages.
She'd also looked over at his shop from in front of the church. He'd seen her a few times when he'd peeked out between the drawn blinds. Cruz just wasn't a feelings kind of guy, and he didn't know what to do with the ones plaguing him, aside from hide and smoke.
He was being an ass, and he knew it. Talia hadn't done anything to put doubts in his head—he had Julian and his mom to thank for that. After three days of stewing over everything they'd said to him, he was convinced that he would ruin and totally destroy the pastor's daughter if he spent any more time with her. He'd gone through a pack a day and nearly put a hole in a punching bag while working out his thoughts.
It was probably best for everyone if he just high-tailed it out before things turned serious. They'd had a couple nice days, but maybe that was it. All they needed. Just enough to give him a glimpse of what a relationship could be—everything that each one before wasn't.
But the problem was that he didn't want just any relationship. He wanted Talia, no matter how selfish that was. The thought of her smile set his heart racing. Remembering the feel of her hand in his brought a smile to his face. And kissing her soft, sweet lips…
Cruz leaned against the counter. What was the answer? Let her go so she could find someone more like her who would be better for her? Not that Julian was that guy. He'd give him a right hook in the jaw before he'd let that creep near Talia.
A knock sounded on his door. He scuffled over to the window to check through the blinds. It was Talia. He wasn't ready to talk with her yet. Maybe he never would be.
He watched her as she knocked again. If he ignored the door as he had his phone, she would probably go back to the church. She glanced up and down the street before knocking a third time.
"I know you're in there," she called.
Cruz didn't say anything, but continued watching from behind the blinds.
"Your motorcycle's out here, Cruz." She pounded on the door. "And I'm not going anywhere. I'll wait out here until I freeze if that's what it takes."
He stepped back. Talia wasn't serious. She had on a dress. It wouldn't take long for her to get cold. He waited. No. She'd go back. Surely she knew she could find someone else—someone better for her. Someone who knew how to find the right songs in the book and who was more like her.
Talia rapped on the door again. "I'm still out here, and it's getting cold."
There was no way she was serious. Talia would go back to the church as soon as she got too cold. He watched her standing in front of the door, staring at it. She was beautiful and so sweet, waiting patiently.
Worry ran through him again. He didn't want to do anything to ruin her—and he certainly had the potential.
He flashed back to high school when he'd lost his temper with a punk named Gabe Dice. He'd forgotten about him until that moment. His family had moved away as soon as Gabe had been released from the hospital.
Cruz had been grounded for six months because of that, plus he'd had to clean the school grounds for a year. He'd barely escaped legal action. Thankfully, Gabe's parents had agreed to his punishment.
"Still here, and I'm not going anywhere," Talia called, pulling Cruz out of his thoughts.
Cruz peeked out again, and sure enough, she was shivering. He noticed her coat was pretty thin, too. She was stubborn. Maybe they weren't so different after all.
What if Cruz ever lost control again like he had with Gabe? If he beat up Julian, Talia would never want to speak to him again.
He took a deep breath. Gabe had been ten years earlier, and Cruz had matured a lot in that time. There wouldn't be another Gabe incident.
"I'm going to stay out here until you let me in," Talia called.
Did she mean literally or metaphorically? He was definitely shutting her out in every sense of the word. He waited, but finally couldn't take it any longer. He knew what she was doing, but wasn't going to let her stay out there, shivering.
Grumbling, he opened the door.
Her eyes lit up. "I kn-knew you were in there." Her teeth chattered. "Can I come in?"
Cruz stepped aside, resisting the urge to pull her close and warm her himself. He closed the door once she was inside.
"I like what you've d-done with the place," she said. "But then again, you've had plenty of time."
"What do you want?" he asked, trying to ignore his desires.
She frowned. "What's going on, Cruz?"
"Just cleaning."
"That's not what I mean, and you know it."
She had him there.
"You've been avoiding my calls. B-basically ignoring me. What did I do?" Talia stared into his eyes.
He couldn't take it, so he turned away. "You didn't do anything."
"Then what's going on?"
"I needed some time."
"For what?" she asked. "Rachel Fuller?"
Cruz turned back to her, his eyes wide with surprise. "What does she have to do with anything?"
"Julian said—"
"I don't even want to know. He's an idiot. I haven't talked to Rachel since high school."
Talia stared at him. She appeared both hurt and curious.
Since she'd brought up Rachel, a thought struck him. If he'd ignored any of his previous girlfriends for as long as he'd been ignoring Talia, they would have yelled and screamed, most likely even throwing things at him. Talia would have had every right. But she did none of those things.
She put her hand on his arm. "If I didn't do anything, can you at least tell me what's going on?"
How could he tell her she deserved better? Then he would definitely send her running. That was the last thing he wanted. Well, that and hurting her. It was either one or the other. There was no avoiding that fact.
"I'm not going anywhere. I have all day."
"You're still shivering." He frowned and then grabbed his coat off the hook in the wall and put it around her shoulders.
"Thanks, but I'd rather know what's going on. Are you sure I didn't do anything?"
He shook his he
ad. "You want to sit?"
She shrugged. "Sure."
They walked over to the stations and each sat in an old chair. He considered his words for a few moments before speaking. "You're right, I've been avoiding you."
Her mouth curved down.
"But it's not because of anything you did," he said quickly. "At first, I left the church because my cousin called. He's going to help me find a house to buy so I can get out of my parents' place, but he lives in Oregon and was only in the area a few hours."
"You could have told me you were leaving."
"I know." Cruz sighed. "I'm sorry. I just needed to get out of there."
Her head tilted. "Why?"
Cruz fidgeted. "It's hard to explain."
"Try me."
He took a deep breath. "I just… It's that…" He paused and then finally blurted it out. "You'd be better off with someone else."
"What?" she exclaimed. "Why?"
"You're gorgeous and sweet, and you're used to churchy stuff. I smoke, swear, and am basically a bad influence. Do I really need to spell it out?"
Her face softened. "Is that what you're worried about?"
"Yeah. I don't want to hurt you."
Talia shook her head. "Let me worry about that. And besides, you don't smoke and swear around me. That fact shows me how deeply you respect me."
"It does?"
She took his hand. "Yes. I don't care that we're different. You're the most wonderful person I've ever met, and I want to get to know you better."
"What about my tattoos?" he asked.
Talia raised an eyebrow. "What about them?" She pushed up one of his sleeves and traced his dragon tattoo. "They're part of you, and they're beautiful."
He stared into her eyes, not sure how to respond. So he changed the subject. "I don't know nothin' about church stuff. That's your life."
"You've done so much to help us. Who cares about stumbling through a songbook or singing off key?"
"I sang off key?"
Talia grinned. "It was adorable."
"Right," he muttered and looked away.
"It was." She put a finger on his chin and led his face back to her. "Why are you suddenly so concerned about our differences? It didn't matter before."
"Just some stuff people said."
Talia's eyes narrowed. "What? Who?"
"It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does."
He wasn't going to rat out his mom. "Julian."
"Really? You're worried about what he said? He's so full of himself, he's about to explode."
Cruz chuckled. "You got that right."
"So, why worry about him?" she asked.
"Julian may be a jerk, but he could be right, too."
"Oh, Cruz." She got up and sat in his lap. "You've got to be kidding me."
He wrapped his arms around her, taking in her sweet scent.
Talia kissed his nose. "You're so silly. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, okay?"
"But you don't know what I'm like. I really could hurt you. I have a temper—"
"Yeah, I gathered that much." She grinned.
"And I…" How could he tell her about all of his past girlfriends? Women so completely different from her. He recalled screaming matches and threats on both sides. Roommates. A life he was sure she had never even come close to experiencing. "I have a past I'm not proud of. I'd take it all back if I could, but I can't."
"I'm hardly perfect myself."
"Compared to me, you are."
She ran her fingers along his beard. "I don't care about your past. Everything you've gone through has made you the person you are today, and I happen to really like him. A lot."
He stared into her eyes and then pressed his mouth onto hers. She closed her eyes, and then he closed his and pulled her closer to him. Her hands moved down from his face to his biceps. He lifted arms to push her hair back, causing his muscles to flex. She ran her hands up and down them.
His pulse pounded in his ears. Never before had he moved so slowly in a relationship, but it had also never been so thrilling, either. The smallest things with Talia seemed greater—more special.
Cruz's phone rang. He groaned, but pulled away and checked it.
"So, am I the only one you've been avoiding?" teased Talia.
"The only one I didn't want to hurt," he corrected. "It's your dad."
"Probably trying to find me. I think I left mine on silent."
Cruz accepted the call. "Hello?"
"Hi, Cruz. Is Talia over there with you?"
"Yeah. She's uh…" On his lap, kissing him. He couldn't tell the pastor that.
"I'm glad you're both there. Can you come over? I need help with something downstairs."
"Is everything okay?" Cruz asked.
"Just hurry." The call ended.
"What's going on?" Talia asked.
"Your dad needs help with something. It sounds important."
She jumped off his lap. "We'd better go over there. As long as everything is good between us." She looked at him expectantly.
He nodded. "It is. Thanks for not putting up with my sh… I mean, my crap." He grumbled. "See what I mean?"
"Don't worry about it. I do plenty of stupid things and I'll want you to put up with me, also. You want your coat back?"
"You need it more than I do." His voice was gruff.
"I shouldn't have worn my springtime coat. Take your jacket."
He shook his head. "Nope. I can be just as stubborn as you."
"Hey." She laughed.
Cruz locked up the shop and they made their way over to the church. When they got downstairs, he noticed it looked as good as new, except that the 1970s carpet needed replacing. He opened the door to the reception hall and after Talia walked in, he went inside. Allen stood at a table behind a cake.
"Is it someone's birthday?" Cruz asked.
"No, this is a hero's cake."
Cruz arched a brow. "Never heard of that."
"Talia told me about her mishap and you saving the day—and my little girl. So, this is a thank you since I can't afford a gift."
"You don't have to give me anything. I'm just glad I was there when I was. It's like I told her, someone was definitely watching out for her." He shrugged.
"And you didn't have to risk your own life, but you did," Allen said. "Have some cake."
"Okay." Cruz laughed.
A hero's cake? He felt like even more of a heel for having ignored Talia the last few days.
Twenty Four
Talia clutched the paper cup filled with hot chocolate and glanced around the packed living room. All of the Hunters plus extended family members filled the room. She'd met Jasmine's mom and Amara's brother's family, but couldn't remember anyone's names.
"They're going to light the tree in a half hour," Zachary said. "We should get going."
"It'll take twenty minutes—tops—to walk there," Rafael said. "And they never start on time."
"I heard they did last year," Zachary said, glancing back at the clock on the wall.
Talia turned to Cruz. "What's with your brother?"
He shrugged. "I guess he really wants to see the tree lighting. Maybe Jasmine's excited about it or something."
Everyone spoke excitedly around them. Talia sipped her cocoa, glancing around at all the people bundled up in their warm winter gear. They'd need to leave soon before she broke into a sweat. Another minute and she'd have to remove her fleece Seahawks scarf. At least it was green—kind of seasonal.
The Christmas music suddenly stopped.
"Is everyone ready?" Dawn asked.
"Yes!" Zachary exclaimed.
"I think we're set." Allen grinned. "I can't wait to see if the tree is as great as everyone says."
"It's better," Robert assured him.
Zachary and Jasmine were the first out of the room, followed by everyone else. Talia nearly lost Cruz in the mad dash, but he wrapped an arm around her and kept it there as they made their way out into the snowy
front yard.
Everyone paired off in couples, with some of Amara's nieces and nephews grabbing some hands. Even Talia's dad walked with and talked to Jasmine's mom.
"What's the tree like?" Talia asked, sliding her fingers through Cruz's.
"It's kind of the like the one in front of your church, but on steroids." He chuckled. "With as many strings of lights as they use, I'm always waiting for it catch on fire. So far it hasn't."
She laughed. "That's always good."
"We're leaving," Zachary announced. He and Jasmine headed down the sidewalk.
Talia shivered, watching. "She's got to be freezing wearing that dress."
"She's crazier than you." Cruz looked lovingly into her eyes and then gave her a quick kiss.
Her stomach flip-flopped. She glanced over at her dad, who hadn't seen the display of affection.
Others followed Zachary and Jasmine. Talia and Cruz had people in front of and behind them, and everyone stayed close, keeping warm. Before long, they came to the tree. It was impossible to miss. Most of the town was gathered around it. Some people shone flashlights onto it, showing the multitude of colored lights. There had to be millions of tiny bulbs.
Talia couldn't help being excited just from the buzz of excitement that ran from the throng crowded around. Being there with Cruz made it all the more exciting. More families came in from all over town, pushing them even closer to the large tree.
Cruz stood behind Talia, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. He pressed his scratchy cheek against hers. "This is nice."
She smiled. "It certainly is."
A beach ball was thrown into the air, sailing halfway across the crowd. Someone hit it back into the air, sending it over Talia and Cruz's heads. Then it flew back over them in another direction. Another ball went up and before long, half a dozen went back and forth over the audience. At one point, Cruz jumped up and hit one, sending it over the tree.
"Nice shot," Talia said, impressed.
"What's taking so long?" Zachary asked from in front of them.
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