He was acting the perfect gentleman, and thought of how proud his Nona would be, despite the fact that his thoughts were far from noble right now. She grabbed her purse off the table then turned and smiled at him.
“Ready.”
He took her hand in his, and escorted her toward the door. Once they got outside, he turned to look at her. She was looking around and appeared to be searching for her car. Knowing it was now or never, Leo put his arms around her waist and gently pulled her closer to him, encouraging her to meet his gaze. He smiled warmly at her, turning up the charm.
“I don’t want this night to end, Nora. Come home with me,” he stated confidently, certain that the night would end with her clothes on his bedroom floor. It always did.
Nora looked back at him kindly, searching his eyes, then slowly shook her head. For a moment, he wasn’t sure what the gesture meant, until he realized she was declining his invitation. He cocked his head and grinned, unsuccessfully masking his surprise. Did she need more reassurance?
“I had a really great time, Leo, but I’m going to call it a night. The dinner, the conversation, our connection, all of it was amazing. Thank you so much for inviting me,” she offered warmly.
Leo’s surprise quickly gave way to curiosity. Was she really saying no? He opened his mouth to speak, hoping to find the right words to persuade her, but she jumped in before he could.
“I would love to go out again and get to know you even better. You’re a great guy,” she assured, this time more confidently.
She placed her hands gently against his chest in a gesture that indicated their date was over. Leo exhaled slowly, unaware he had been holding his breath. He nodded at her begrudgingly, reluctant to concede to her, but a gentleman nevertheless.
“I would like that. Can I text you next week?” he asked, awkwardly, unaccustomed to not being in the driver’s seat. It felt foreign to him, yet at the same time intriguing.
“Yes, please do,” she nodded, offering him one of those all- encompassing smiles.
He leaned down to kiss her, certain she would at least accept an intimate goodbye. She did not disappoint him there.
CHAPTER 5
NORA
Nora practically floated through her apartment as she got ready for bed, her mind replaying their date over and over, her body tingling with happy hormones. Leo had surprised her. He was just as engaging as he was handsome, and his confidence was sexy as hell. His was the demeanor of a man used to getting what he wanted, when he wanted it, and Nora found that damn near irresistible. She liked that he had no problem complimenting her. He made her feel desirable, and what woman didn’t want to feel that?
The night couldn’t have gone any better, as far as she was concerned. Leo had a way of making her feel safe and at ease, encouraging her to bring out her playful side. There was no question that she was focused and driven, she definitely was. After her marriage had failed so miserably she felt like she had something to prove. Her parents had been so disappointed with her choices, and if she was being honest, she didn’t blame them.
She had been rebellious and even a little reckless in her late teens, frustrated by their stringent rules and unrealistic expectations. She and her twin sister had been sheltered from the typical teenage lifestyle, their 11:00 o’clock curfew ensuring that they would be home well before the parties were in full swing. It was no surprise that both of them had a hard time cultivating friendships and had spent the majority of their time together. She adored her twin, but Nora was restless and grew to resent her parents for holding her back. She wanted to experience the same freedoms that her classmates had, to stay out late and have some fun.
Then she met Devon. He had transferred to her high school in their junior year and became a primary object of attention for many of the girls in the school. Everyone seemed to crush on him, including her. He was a renaissance man, one of those guys that just seemed to be good at everything. It seemed as soon as he arrived at the school he was welcomed into every clique and club. The jocks embraced him without question, but he was just as comfortable with the brainy kids and the drama geeks. He excelled at sports, but his true passion was acting and it was no surprise that he quickly established himself as the leading man in almost every high school production. Even the teachers loved Devon.
They started dating just before the end of the school year, in May. She was seventeen. Nora always had a flair for fashion, even in high school, and was invited to help out with the year-end production of Grease. She was in charge of costume design. It was also her responsibility to make sure that costume changes went smoothly during performances. She loved being a part of the theatre and it was really the only opportunity she had to be social and build friendships. Her parents supported school activities and would give her lots of leeway for them, rarely questioning the time she committed. Theatre gave her the freedom she craved.
Devon played Danny Zuko, of course. Not only did he have the looks, but he had the singing chops for it, too. Nora sat through every rehearsal, watching him perform from backstage and wishing she was his leading lady. She would have loved to have been the girl playing Sandy, but two things held her back. One, she had terrible stage fright, and two, she couldn’t carry a tune if her life depended on it. So, destined to be behind the scenes, she was certain that the chemistry that ‘Danny’ and ‘Sandy’ had on stage must have translated off-stage too. She thought it unlikely that Devon would ever notice her, but he proved her wrong.
After a few months of rehearsal, opening night finally arrived. Both the cast and crew were nervous as hell, but determined to be brilliant. They had only one or two full dress rehearsals prior to opening night, so Nora was feeling especially anxious. She had to get the timing perfect in order for the costume changes to go smoothly, and she wished that she’d had more time to practice. During one of the scene changes, Devon came in for a costume switch and they just happened to be alone. Just as she finished helping him change, he turned to her and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before running out. She wasn’t sure what to make of it but it left her curious, and happy. The next time he came in there were several other actors in the room with them, including the one playing ‘Sandy,’ whose name she couldn’t remember now. Nora watched them playfully interacting and sadly came to the conclusion that his kiss had been nothing more than a spontaneous flirtation prompted by the adrenalin he felt. She watched as he quickly changed costumes, and was completely caught off guard when he threw her a flirtatious wink before heading back out onstage. After months of having no interaction with him at all, why was he suddenly paying attention to her?
The play ended to thunderous applause, and within minutes her dressing room was filled with cast members handing her their costumes. She had to make sure everything was organized and ready for the next performance, and was too absorbed in her task to notice who was coming or going. The room eventually thinned out and she was left alone to sort through the piles of costumes on the floor. She didn’t notice when Devon came in and was surprised to find him crouched on the floor in front of her. She was certain that she must have looked a mess, but he didn’t seem to notice. He asked her if he could drive her home.
From that moment on they were inseparable. It turned out that he had been waiting for just the right opportunity to make his move with her. He liked that she was smart, and so different from the other girls. She made him work to get her attention. Apparently he had been trying to catch her eye for weeks and she had been oblivious. That had always been the way with her, and continued to be a theme in her life.
It had been relatively easy to spend time together while school was in session. Nora just told her parents she was busy with the play and other school activities. It never dawned on them to question her because she never gave them any reason to doubt that she was telling the truth. Her sister knew what was going on, and was a good ally, often covering for her. Unfortunately, once school let out for the summer, it became more challenging to spend time with
Devon. She hated lying to them, but they never would have understood. She did her best to cover up their relationship, but it soon became obvious to her parents that there was something going on.
Initially, her father put his foot down, and they fought and fought. He was determined that his daughters wouldn’t date until they were finished with high school. Nora was not deterred. She just became a more creative liar, and they continued to sneak around. As the summer went on they fell more and more in love.
That was the summer she lost her virginity.
Devon had planned the whole thing out, and while she couldn’t describe the event as romantic, it was certainly a good effort for an inexperienced young man. She knew that they had been building up to it. Months of heavy foreplay had made them both hot and bothered, but being the good Catholic girl, Nora had reservations about going all the way. With the summer coming to a close and her senior year just around the corner, she knew the time had come. He wanted to be with her badly and told her so almost every day. She loved him and knew that he was committed to her, so she finally agreed.
He rented a campsite for the weekend, just outside of town, and pitched a tent he borrowed from his friend. He told his parents he was on a summers-end camping trip with his buddies, and she told her parents she was staying overnight at a friend’s house. Devon took care of everything. He cooked them a dinner of hotdogs and beans over the campfire, and opened a bottle of homemade wine he stole from his parent’s wine cellar. After they had cleaned the dishes, he invited her to join him in the tent. He had two sleeping bags zipped together and had covered them with rose petals. It was a sweet gesture that touched Nora’s heart.
His desperate touch made her forget her nervousness, and he could heat her up quickly, mainly because she was so into him. His breath on her neck, those deep, wet kisses that went on for forever, his hands exploring every curve of her body. By the time he was ready to fuck her, she was soaking wet. He had been so hard and anxious that she barely got her panties off before he climbed on top of her and slipped his cock inside. She had anticipated it would hurt, and in some ways it had, but it also satisfied a deep, primal yearning. The pain was like a rite of passage she needed to experience in order to pass through the gate from childhood to adulthood. Her innocence slipped away as the pain prepared her for life as a woman, teaching her to expect a little pain with the pleasure, a little shame with the desire to explore her sexuality, and that it’s the woman that carries the burdens of intimacy.
Devon had been gentle and caring with her and when they made love the next morning, it wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable. She actually enjoyed feeling him so close to her, his hardness deep inside her, their souls entwined together. She loved watching him cum as he pumped his cock into her, his body stiffening, his eyes riveted to hers. She felt, in that moment, like he was possessing her and claiming her as his own. Yes, these were the thoughts of a naive young girl, but she wanted to be his forever. It didn’t matter that he didn’t make her orgasm, the truth was that she had been too insecure to let herself climax anyway, even if he had tried.
Their senior year was not without challenges. Nora had always been a dedicated student, and her high marks typically came easily. However, because her relationship with Devon was so time consuming, she let her grades slip. Her parents were not happy with her, especially during such a vital year. Understandably, they were concerned for her and constantly pressured her to stay focused. They knocked heads on many occasions, but their interference only made Nora dig her heels in further. She was tired of them trying to run her life. Devon was her soul mate and her parents were trying to keep them apart. Nora worried constantly that he would grow tired of the drama they caused and leave her for someone that was a lot less trouble.
Looking back on the situation, she came to realize that it was the combination of the irrational insecurities of a teenage girl, her need to break away from her parents suffocating control, and a deep desire for independence that had created the perfect storm leading to the poor judgement and blunders that followed.
According to her parents, she had done so poorly in that first term that they forbid her to see Devon anymore. In reality, her grades hadn’t slipped that much, but they had high standards and expected their daughters to achieve nothing below the eighties. So they watched her like a hawk, holding her accountable for every moment of her time. She was only permitted to leave home for school and her part-time job, and her father insisted on picking her up after work and bringing her straight home. On the nights when they allowed her to go out, they were adamant she be home by ten. This was all for her own good, they said, justifying their rules. They said they wanted her to focus on school, earning scholarships, and being able to choose any university she wanted.
In retrospect, this was all very reasonable on their part, and looking back, Nora could understand their concern. She was being irrational, distracted by her libido and her obsession to be with Devon all the time. She was young and in love, and very foolish. She hated being smothered, and at the time felt really disrespected. She had always been smart, hard-working, and considerate, and she resented that her parents didn’t trust her. She felt that they were forcing her to choose between them and the love of her life, and no surprise, she chose Devon.
Only one month after they graduated, they ran off to get married. Her sister Dana was the only person who knew of her plans, and she did her best to try to talk Nora out of it. Nora respected her sister, but the truth was, she couldn’t see any other way to resolve the situation. She and Devon loved each other and like most kids their age, thought they had all the answers. They were eighteen and didn’t need parental consent. They applied for a marriage license and three days later went to the city hall of the next town over to tie the knot. They were blissfully happy and fully expected their parents to disown them, but they didn’t care. They would figure it out and prove everyone wrong.
Their parents didn’t disown them. Of course, they weren’t happy, but they eventually accepted the situation and even helped them to set up their first apartment. Nora was determined to show her parents that she could still achieve her goals and be a great wife to Devon. She had been accepted to several prestigious schools but registered at the local university, so she didn’t disrupt their lives. Devon got a job working for an auto parts manufacturer and made enough money to support them both. Because Nora got a full scholarship, the plan was for her to go to school first and get her degree, and then Devon would pursue his education afterward.
That first year things were good. They were just two naive kids playing house. Nora did her best to maintain her grades, all the while trying to be the perfect wife. She kept a tidy house and groceries in the fridge. Devon paid the bills and they had sex almost every night, and for a while that was enough for her. They were honeymooners, still high from the newness of it all, driven by their desire for each other.
Of course, as time went on, reality set in. The monotony of day to day life gradually took its toll. It stopped being fun and the excitement of married life faded. Nora’s life was all about school and in spite of her best efforts, she and Devon started drifting apart. The deeper she immersed herself in her education, the less she had in common with her husband. Devon became restless, and perhaps even resentful.
The worst part of it all was that they couldn’t communicate with each other. Their relationship seemed unable to evolve, like they hit a certain point, and then just locked it in. They had the same problem with their sex life too, neither of them confident enough to ask for what they truly wanted, and too afraid to share their fantasies or explore their desires. Nora desperately wanted to experience the same kind of pleasure Devon did during sex, but she was always worried about hurting his feelings or alienating him if she told him she needed more.
Although they were growing up, their relationship was standing still. There was no blame to be placed, it wasn’t his fault, nor was it hers. It was a problem they shared, but not one they could address
together.
Although Devon was never cruel to her, he was often unhappy. They were on such different pages for the most part. Nora knew that they loved each other, but they had no idea how to address or repair the strain in their marriage. Things finally came to a head just before her third year at the university, they were both just twenty one, still kids really. Devon approached her one day and told her he was moving out to California to pursue an acting career. She was welcome to either come or stay behind, but either way he was going. He told her that he felt like his own opportunities were slipping away and that he couldn’t continue to work in a factory anymore. He was losing himself to a life he didn’t want. Nora empathized with him completely. He had done so much for them since they got married, the least she could do was support him.
So they moved out to California and Nora transferred from the University of Michigan to UCLA. It wasn’t easy leaving her family behind, especially her sister, but UCLA was a great school and had an excellent grad program in Psychology, so the transition would be simple. They could pick up and carry on with their lives, easy-peasy, she thought.
They moved to a very run-down apartment near campus, but still close enough for Devon to get where he needed to be. He took a temporary job as a waiter, just to pay the bills, but he also pounded the pavement, endlessly looking for acting opportunities. They barely saw one another and it didn’t take long for them to chip away at their savings. The pressure took its toll on them both, and after only six months in California, they decided to split up. Nora suspected Devon of cheating on her but she never confronted him. There were two possible reasons for that.First, she didn’t have the courage to tell him what she saw that day in front of his restaurant, only a few months after they had arrived in LA. The second reason? She had fallen out of love with him.
So they parted amicably enough, and although they both had regrets, they were also somewhat relieved. They would never have admitted it at the time, but the truth was, they had been too young to get married and they had simply grown apart. Nora came to realize years later that while Devon was a perfect first love, he was never meant to be her last love. They just didn’t have enough in common to sustain an adult relationship. They would have held each other back, no question about it.
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