He spent the first few years in Ojai causing all kinds of shit. He had been in trouble with the law on a few occasions too, nothing that landed him in juvie or anything, but enough to get a shitty reputation. Two events finally got him back on the straight and narrow. He met a girl that he fell madly in love with, and his buddy saved his life. Both were significant enough to make him seriously reevaluate his life choices, and oddly enough, they occurred on the same night.
“The house is amazing,” Nora gushed, admiring the view through the patio doors of the sunroom, “it is so quaint!”
Leo knew she would love it. The house was decorated much the same way Nora furnished her own home, very bohemian. His parents were pretty much hippies, having grown up in the seventies, and their taste very much reflected that. When they lived with his grandparents everything was crisp and clean, the way Italian people liked it. Even the furniture had been covered in plastic, to keep it “new” looking. As soon as his parents bought their own home on Ojai, they made sure it fit their unique personalities.
They were like newlyweds again once they hit the west coast, a couple of 40 year old kids. Ironically, his mother seemed to blossom when they left the garden state. She’d had so much responsibility from such a young age that she never got to be a proper teenager. The youngest of five siblings, she was the one expected to stay behind and take care of her parents. Even after she and his dad married, they lived with her parents to help pay the bills. She and his dad worked while Leo’s grandparents took care of the bambinos. It never bothered Leo. He and his brother were spoiled rotten, the apples of their Nona’s eye. For him, life seemed damn near perfect. But his mother was not happy. She and his father married at 22 and by the time she was 25 she already had two kids, Leo and his older brother Gianni.
How his parents stayed together in those early years, Leo would never understand. Especially for his father who was the outsider. It must have felt like a rebirth for both of them when they finally left it all behind them. They tried to visit family every couple of years, back in Hoboken, a town famous for two things—Frank Sinatra, and more recently, Buddy Valastro, The Cake Boss. Leo and his brother used to go to Carlo’s Bake Shop every Saturday morning with their grandfather to purchase their world famous cannolis.
This trip was the first visit his parents had made to Jersey since 2012, when hurricane Sandy had filled Hoboken like a bathtub. Luckily none of their relatives had lost their homes in the storm, but many people did.
Leo wrapped his arms around Nora and pulled her against him, back to chest. He kissed her neck playfully, drawing a giggle from her.
“I thought you would like it here,” he agreed, as he swayed her gently in his arms. “I always like coming here. Can’t beat that view.”
“You said your parents moved to SoCal when you were fifteen? To this house?” Nora questioned, turning herself around to face him.
He looked down at her and nodded.
“Yes, right here. Moved here in 96. Oddly enough, I despised it here in the beginning. Hated the fucking place, but now that I am older I can understand the appeal it held for my folks,” he shared thoughtfully. “My brother lived a few blocks over until just recently, but he moved back to Jersey last year with his wife and kid. My parents are actually staying with them for the next few months because Gianni’s wife just had their second child. They have two little girls now. I’m actually planning a visit back east myself before long.”
“Why did you hate it?” Nora asked.
She seemed pleased to see him opening up about his family. He hadn’t talked about them since their first date, and even then he kept it pretty casual. He shared the logistics but not the dynamics. It wasn’t easy for him to share his personal stuff, but she made him want to try.
“It just felt like a foreign country to me. It was so different from home, and of course my grandparents had just died. They practically raised me and my brother. I had a hard time working through it,” he admitted despondently.
“Sounds like you had a lot of grief.” Nora offered, her voice trailing off.
Leo nodded his head slowly, his thoughts drifting back in time.
“I guess so. Of course, at the time my parents were so damn happy that it made me even more miserable. I hated them for it. On top of all my teenage hormones, I was filled with rage. Not a good combination, I got into a bit of trouble,” he confessed awkwardly.
He hated drudging up the past. He hated how uncomfortable it made him. Inevitably his thoughts would always come around to Corrine and that would just mess him up. He released his embrace with Nora and sat down on one of the two wicker chairs in the sunroom. Nora took his cue and sat down on the chair beside him.
“What kind of trouble?” Nora pressed gently.
“Oh, I don’t know. Stupid stuff. I vandalized the post office with an inappropriate painting, beat up the school bully, and took a baseball bat to half the mailboxes over on Grand Avenue,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders.
It was embarrassing to think about that shit now.
“Inappropriate painting?” Nora smiled curiously.
“Yeah, I used bright red spray paint and drew a picture of an exploding penis on this really pristine white wall. Actually it was a man in a suit with a penis for a head with Prez Clinton scrawled underneath,” he grinned sheepishly. “Pretty prophetic if you ask me, given the oral sex scandal that broke all over the news a few months later.”
Nora laughed wholeheartedly, “That was pretty insightful! What happened?”
Leo rolled his eyes at her and smirked.
“Well, I wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. I brought the spray cans home and tossed them in the garbage in the garage. My mother was sorting through the trash, she was a recycling fanatic even back then, and she came across the cans. It didn’t take a genius to put two and two together.”
“Oh no, what did she do?” Nora asked, still giggling.
“She smacked me with her shoe and then made me go downtown and confess. It was humiliating. I had to repaint the entire wall and she made me volunteer to pick up garbage in Libbey Park. They made me wear a reflector vest and everything,” he told her, laughing at his stupidity.
“I bet you never did anything like that again,” Nora teased, reaching for his hand.
He allowed her to take it.
“Well, let’s just say I got better at hiding the evidence. It took a few more years before I really settled down.”
“So what was the turning point?” Nora prodded gently.
Leo smiled at her but said nothing for a minute or two, his thoughts drifting to the night he met Corrine. The night he almost died. He wasn’t ready to share that with her yet. He had buried it pretty deep and wasn’t sure he wanted to conjure those feeling up again. He shifted in his chair, his physical discomfort suddenly paralleling his emotional unease.
“I’m hungry, are you?” he asked, standing up suddenly and simultaneously lifting her out of her chair.
Nora looked at him curiously and smiled. She knew he was sidestepping her question. He wasn’t fooling her, but she would just have to deal with it for now, he thought, swallowing his guilt. She had been more than patient with him since they had met, giving him plenty of space to ease into their relationship, and he knew he was running out of time, but it was so fucking hard for him to be vulnerable. It wasn’t her, it was him. She was an amazing woman.
“Sure, I could eat,” she agreed pensively. “Are we cooking?”
“No ma’am, I’m taking you out. One of my favorite places. I go there every time I come to town,” he said, pulling her in for a smooch.
She let him kiss her, but he could tell that she was holding back. He gave her two more little pecks, and then spun her around, landing a playful smack on her ass.
“Go freshen up, I’m going to call ahead and get them to save us a table,” he offered lightly, hoping to turn the mood around.
Nora shook her head and grinned at him, probably in complete f
rustration, but he preferred to think she just found him adorable.
* * *
“Oh my god! Is that you Leo? You look fantastic!”
Nora stepped to the side as a pretty blonde threw herself into Leo’s arms. He hugged her back with an appropriate amount of enthusiasm, given he was on a date. He smiled at Nora apologetically, looking over the woman’s shoulder. Nora grinned back at him, a question mark on her face.
“Hi Lynda, long time no see,” Leo greeted, peeling the blonde off of him.
He was grateful that she was wearing a name tag, otherwise he was pretty certain he would not have been able to conjure it up. He had no idea she worked at this particular restaurant, otherwise he definitely would have chosen somewhere else to bring Nora. He had hooked up with Lynda the last time he was in town. It had been a few years since he had seen her, but apparently she hadn’t forgotten him. The truth was, Leo had slept with lots of women in Ojai, so the chances of him running into someone he had fucked was actually pretty high. He had just hoped for a more subtle greeting.
“No shit, long time no see. What has it been? Two years?” Lynda gushed, caressing his shoulder.
Leo stepped to the side, just out of her reach and placed an arm around Nora’s waist. She smiled at him gratefully.
“Yeah, it has been a few years. This is my friend Nora,” he said, introducing the two women.
As soon as he said ‘friend’ he regretted it, especially since he saw Nora’s smile fade, ever so slightly. He shrugged his shoulders weakly, and offered her a reassuring squeeze.
“Oh,” Lynda croaked, raising her hands in front of her in a gesture that said ‘my bad’.
She looked Nora up and down, as if assessing her competition.
“Nice to meet you. Let me see if your table is ready.”
She gave Leo a ‘friendly’ pat on the shoulder as she walked past him, but Leo knew what the gesture meant. It wasn’t the first time a woman had signaled him that way. What she really meant was ‘if you lose the friend, we can hook up later.’ As soon as Lynda was out of their eye line, Leo cleared his throat and met Nora’s gaze. She was smiling at him knowingly. That didn’t surprise him. Not a whole lot got past her.
“Someone you dated?” she asked playfully.
“Not exactly. We had a few fun nights together last time I was here. Just a casual thing,” he stammered, keeping his tone as neutral as possible.
“Ah, casual. So just a friend then?” she observed flatly.
It was obvious from her tone that she had something important on her mind. Something Leo wasn’t sure he knew how to address. He shouldn’t have referred to Nora as a friend, but fuck, he wasn’t sure just how to define her. She was definitely somewhere between a fuck buddy and the potential love of his life, but he wasn’t exactly sure where she fell within that spectrum. All he knew was that he liked spending time with her, in and out of the bedroom, and that was more than he could say about most of the women he knew. She challenged him on almost every level, and most of the time he liked it, but every now and then—it scared the shit out of him.
“Not really,” he offered sheepishly, “just someone I killed some time with. Sorry about that. I honestly didn’t know she worked here.”
“Don’t be silly,” she assured with a smile, “running into someone we slept with was bound to happen sooner or later. That doesn’t bother me.”
Leo pulled her a little closer and casually kissed the top of her head, once again appreciating her maturity. He hoped that meant he was off the hook.
Nora had been quieter than usual throughout dinner. She seemed to have a lot on her mind, and Leo did his best to keep the conversation flirty and light, hoping to draw her out of her funk. It wasn’t that she seemed upset really, more introspective. He was grateful that their interaction with Lynda ended after she sat them down, but every now and then she would walk by and smile at him. He did his best to avoid eye contact, afraid he might give her the wrong idea.
“You ok?” he finally asked, as soon as the waiter dropped off their coffee.
Nora looked up at him and smiled sweetly, but he wasn’t buying it. She had been writing a script all night. He could see it in those beautiful green eyes.
“I am,” she offered softly, “sorry, I just have a lot on my mind.”
He should have asked her what she was thinking about. He should have insisted she open up to him, and made her feel safe, but he couldn’t. He was too fucking worried she would bring up something heavy and he wouldn’t know how to make her feel better. So instead he nodded his head and changed the subject.
“I know what will make you feel better,” he flirted, taking her hand in his.
He kissed her knuckles tenderly, carefully avoiding her eyes.
“I’ve been thinking about your fantasy all week.”
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked cautiously, avoiding his advances.
“Sure,” he answered, just as tentatively, wondering where she wanted to take him.
“Have you ever been in love?” she challenged, her eyes searching his.
He got the sense that she was leading him somewhere important, but he wasn’t sure why. She had never asked him about his past relationships before. It was one of the main things that appealed to him about Nora. The truth was, he knew that this conversation was inevitable, but being home, in the place where everything had happened with Corrine, it was all just too much to handle. The flood gates were dangerously close to opening.
“In love?” he asked, stalling for time.
She nodded at him but said nothing.
“Yeah, I guess I have. It was a long time ago.”
He took a long sip off his coffee, hoping to signal his desire to change the subject. She didn’t bite.
“When?” she asked, massaging his fingertips with her own.
He knew she was trying to set him at ease, but it was having the opposite effect.
“When? In my twenties I guess. When I was married,” he revealed, regretting the words as soon as they were out.
After a confession that big she would need to know more.
“You were married?” she asked, failing to hide her surprise.
“I was. Divorced now. Been a long time,” he explained, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
She looked at him thoughtfully, as though carefully analyzing him. And he fucking hated it. It wouldn’t take her long to figure him out.
“Let’s get out of here,” he urged, tossing his napkin on the table. “You wanna go?”
He raised his hand, signaling their waiter to come over. He asked for the check and then excused himself to use the bathroom, all without making eye contact with Nora. As soon as he got inside he splashed water on his face and then leaned on the counter, looking at himself in the mirror. He hoped that a few minutes apart would shift the energy between them. Of course Nora had earned the right to know more, but now was not the time. He wanted to control the pace of that conversation, and reveal his shit in his own time, in his own way.
After a few minutes passed, he left the restroom, feeling more at ease. Just outside the door he found Lynda waiting for him. She caught him completely off guard.
“Hey,” he blurted, looking over her shoulder to see if Nora was in his eye line.
She wasn’t.
“Hey yourself. You okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” she observed, reaching out to touch his shoulder.
He looked up at her and smiled, reassuringly. She was just as sexy as he remembered, and if he recalled correctly, she had been a fire cracker in the bedroom, too. They had shared a couple of hot nights in bed together—fun, easy, and uncomplicated. Just the way he liked it.
“I’m good,” he said, slowly exhaling, “How about you? Have you been doing okay?”
“Same stuff as always. I just split with my boyfriend. Rooming with Amy Callahan. Do you remember her?” she questioned, her eyes deep with need, a suggestive smile playing on her lips.
; He knew Amy well. She was a hot little bi-sexual he had hooked up with right after Corrine and he had split. He nodded and grinned at her flirtatiously.
“Yeah, I remember her. You two together?” he winked, making a suggestive gesture with his hands.
Lynda giggled and shook her head.
“No, but we could be for the right guy. You know Amy, she likes to share,” she purred, leaning in closer.
Leo smiled, imaging how fun a little ménage à trois would be with those two little foxes.
“Mmmm, is that right? What about you? Do you like to share, too?”
“I could be persuaded. I’d just have to make a call and let her know I’d be bringing you home tonight. She would love to see you, I’m sure.”
In truth, Leo considered it for a moment. What red blooded American male wouldn’t have? The thought of it was tempting, but the timing was all wrong. He was taking Nora home that night and in spite of the fact that she challenged him emotionally, he wanted to be with her. Maybe he needed to be pushed. God knows, he had been evading intimacy for a long time. There was a part of him that wanted someone to love him. Really love him, and Nora had been the closest he had come to in all that time.
He smiled at Lynda and shook his head, noting the disappointment in her eyes.
“While that sounds very tempting, I’m going to have to say no. But say hi to Amy for me, okay?” he offered apologetically, carefully stepping around her.
She reached out for his arm to pull him closer and whispered in his ear.
“If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
“I won’t change my mind,” he replied confidently.
“Is that your girlfriend?” she asked, curiously. “Is it serious?”
“Serious enough,” he grinned, winking at her. “I better get back. Take care.”
He walked down the short hallway, spotting Nora across the room. She was looking down at her phone, the glow from the screen illuminating her pretty face. Her smile made it clear that whatever she was reading made her happy. She looked so cheerful and at peace, something he had been unable to draw out of her all day. He wondered what, or who, had made her smile like that and for a moment he felt uncharacteristically possessive.
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