by Jillian Hart
Maybe she couldn’t. Remembering last night, he could still see her with that look of resignation, thinking he might want to end the marriage and send her away. She didn’t understand who he was because of the man she’d been married to before, the one who must have broken every dream she’d ever had.
He didn’t know how to fix that, but he intended to figure out a way. He reached the door, stomped snow off his boots and stumbled into the house. Warmth met him like a welcome friend as he hung up his wraps and tucked his boots in the corner. He listened to the sounds of her in the kitchen. The sizzle of the bacon, the scrape of a spatula against a fry pan and the clunk of a platter on the table.
He should have known she’d fix breakfast for him even when she felt queasy. His gait sounded on the floor, drawing her gaze. Pale as a sheet, she stood at the stove concentrating on her work. When she turned and saw him, a question quirked up her eyebrows. He remembered what she’d told him last night. I can work hard, I can keep my promise to be a good wife. That mattered to her. That was what drove her. Hope shone blue in her eyes as she watched him approach.
He should have known. He should have figured this out sooner. He raked a hand through his hair, frustrated at himself. He’d been a bachelor too long, maybe, or perhaps it simply wasn’t easy learning to take another’s outlook and needs in account at every turn. He curled his fingers around the top rung of his chair, taking in all she’d done for him. The napkins folded just so. The table set with care. His cup of coffee steaming on the table, waiting for him. Pancakes, bacon, eggs sunny-side up and some buttermilk biscuits that looked delicious. Even the butter was cut into little rosettes.
He swallowed down the first words that slid onto his tongue, words that hadn’t worked before. No sense getting upset at all the work she’d done, when she had to be struggling to hold it together. Her hand trembled with the weakness of her condition as she reached out to take the pail of milk from him, the pail he’d forgotten he was holding. She captured his senses—the light on her hair, the fragrance of soap, the flash of her blue dress beneath the faded apron she wore.
“This is a very fine table you’ve prepared.” He tried to keep his worry for her out of his voice and his appreciation in. It wasn’t easy when he wanted to order her to lie down, to bring her a damp cloth to lay across her forehead and let her rest. But he knew what pride was like so he pushed his needs aside and thought of hers. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a finer breakfast.”
“I’m glad.” She lit up at his praise like a winter’s dawn—slow and sweet and quietly spectacular. “Go ahead, sit down while the food is hot. On a morning as cold as this, things will cool off fast.”
“You’re looking better than you did yesterday about this time.” He walked around the table to pull out her chair. He watched her struggle with indecision, perhaps thinking there was more work she wanted to do, before she quietly slipped onto the cushion.
“Your sister’s tea made all the difference. My stomach is much calmer.” She laid the napkin across her lap, still wearing her apron.
He hesitated a moment and gazed down at her, taking in little details about her he’d missed before. Like the tiny curls of short hair at the base of her neck, swirling darkly against her ivory skin. Like the straight line of the part in her hair, somehow vulnerable. She brought out powerfully protective feelings he didn’t know he had. He resisted the urge to curl his hands around her slender shoulders and squeeze gently, just to touch her, just to offer her some comfort. He’d never met anyone who needed it more.
It took all his willpower to step away.
“You won’t need to worry about cooking the rest of the day.” He sat down and dug in. Almost a shame to use the butter she’d prettied up, he thought, as he dug his knife into a rosette. When he broke apart a biscuit, the aroma nearly made him groan. One thing was for sure—the woman could cook.
“Why not? Will you be going to town?” Gingerly, Willa took a small bite of her dry toast, looking as if she were praying it would stay down. “It’s Sunday, surely the livery is closed for business.”
“It is, and I have a hired man who feeds and tends the horses and keeps an eye on things for me, so I have one whole day off in a week.” The biscuit practically melted on his tongue. Delicious. “No, my brother Brant stopped by the livery last night. It seems Evelyn was taken with you and praised you so much, that everyone else can’t wait to meet you. Pa has invited us over for dinner.”
“Oh.” She laid a hand on her stomach and cut her gaze to the door, looking a little green. “Then it’s a good thing I’m wearing a new dress.”
“Yes, it is.” He watched as she poured a cup of tea and sipped it slowly. He wished he could do something for her, anything at all. “Are you sure you don’t need to lie down?”
“No, I’m fine, thank you.” Her chin came up, taking on that stubborn set he was staring to recognize.
That was the end to their conversation. He couldn’t think of anything to say and she kept her attention on her teacup. Sure, he could entertain her with stories of his family, warn her about his brothers’ wives, tell her tales about his pa, but he held back.
Willa didn’t seem to be looking for a family, or else she would be interested in more than being a convenient wife. That weighed heavily on him as the silence stretched until he wondered if it would ever end.
* * *
“Willa, you look very nice.” Austin’s voice traveled across the length of the cabin, through the open bedroom door to where she stood fussing with her new woolen hood. She drew the ties snug beneath her chin, realizing the importance of the new clothes.
Of course, he would want her to look presentable for his sake. She couldn’t very well do that in the garments she’d brought with her. Being the wife of a local business owner would take some getting used to. She hardly recognized herself in the mirror as she stepped away from it. “You look nice, too. I’m ready to go if you are.”
“The fires are banked. I have the sleigh waiting outside the door and a few extra blankets.” He lowered the lamp’s wick until the flame went out. “I don’t want you to get cold in your condition.”
She didn’t know what to do about the man. He made her feel inadequate. With every step she took toward him, she’d already failed him. What if his disappointment in her only continued to grow? She hated that notion, especially when she owed him so much. She ran her fingertips along the finely stitched edge of the sash at her waist, the fabric so soft she still couldn’t believe it was hers. “The blizzard is pretty much blown out. I should be warm enough.”
“Except for the mean wind that barreled in after it.” The chiseled line of his mouth softened in the corners. He looked terribly fine in a blue flannel shirt and new denims. “You didn’t need to bake anything to bring.”
“I wanted to.” She lifted the johnnycake which was well wrapped in a dishtowel, and wished she’d had more time to have made something fancier, like a frosted layer cake. “I wanted to contribute something to the meal.”
“I’m sure my sisters-in-law will appreciate it.” His hand brushed lightly against her shoulder, the faintest pressure seeing her out the door. He said nothing more, his tall, muscular body a big wall of heat a scant inch behind her. He stood so near, the hairs on her arms stood on end and prickled strangely.
Bitter air battered her as Austin bent to lock up. He moved beside her, blocking the wind. His hand caught her elbow. “Careful, there’s ice on the steps I couldn’t chip off.”
“That’s nice, but I’m not breakable.” She didn’t feel comfortable that he thought she was. “I know you’re being a good husband, and I appreciate that, I truly do, but you don’t have to do so much for me.”
“It’s my job and I intend to do it well.” He winked at her and in the sheen of his deep blue eyes there was something more. An unspoken sadness that when tempered with his
kindness, brought tears to her eyes.
She’d really hurt him last night, much more than she’d thought. She let him guide her down the steps, since it meant so much to him. Not that she needed his help, not that she wanted it. She was too independent, but it seemed the right concession to make. It seemed to make him happy, since the corners of his mouth turned up into the good-natured grin that came easily to him. She let him help her into the sleigh and even tuck the blankets around her.
What kind of man was this, she didn’t know. She huddled on the chilly seat, shivering while the horse swished his tail, impatient to move. The warming iron tucked at the foot of the sleigh warmed her toes as she watched Austin lift the horse blanket from the back of the gelding, pat him with a kind word and circle to his seat.
Austin was the kind of man who blanketed his horse in the cold, who saw his wife across icy steps and tucked her in first. Looking at him in the gray daylight, framed by the evergreen forest in the background and the satin roll of silver clouds overhead, she saw him clearly as he tucked away the horse blanket. Not framed by her own fears or from her own expectations.
Austin Dermot wore a finely tailored black coat, fine leather driving gloves. His denims were crisp and new, just like his boats. His black Stetson crowned him, a finishing touch to the kind of successful, small-town businessman he was.
Willa swallowed, unable to hold back a curl of warmth in her chest for the man who settled down beside her. His steely arm pressed against her shoulder.
“Are you ready for this?” He gave the reins a snap, but the horse was already moving. Calvin had no fear of retribution as he took charge of their journey.
“My family is a lot to handle,” Austin warned in his good-natured manner. “I’ll do what I can to shield you.”
“What do you mean?” Uncertainty whispered through her. “I’ve already met Evelyn. She was nice.”
“And so you’re thinking, how bad can they be?” Austin grinned, bringing out a hint of dimples. “Well, you are about to find out.”
Chapter Nine
Her jaw dropped as the sleigh rounded a corner and a two-story house came into sight. The structure, with its gabled dormers and gingerbread trim, had a stately, faintly fairy-tale quality as it sat nestled in a field of snow and rimmed by majestic forests. Lemony lamplight glowed from the many windows and onto the covered wraparound porch, and when they approached the front door swept open.
“Austin!” A blond man wrapped a gray scarf around his neck as he bounded down the steps. “There you are. I had to be the first to get a look at your Willa.”
“Charlie. Should have known. Evelyn made you promise to be the greeter, did she?” Beside her, Austin glanced up at the front door and she followed his gaze. A bunch of people clustered together, craning their necks for a better view of her.
Goodness. Heat scorched her face. Everyone was staring and smiling at her. She wasn’t used to being the object of attention, so she swallowed and willed her stomach to stay calm. She may be dressed in fine clothes, but she felt the same inside. She hadn’t changed. What if Austin’s family saw right through the fine dress to who she was? What if they didn’t like her? How would that affect Austin?
“Charlie, this is Willa.” Austin handed over the reins and stood, impressive at his full height. With the breaking sun behind him he looked larger than life, as if he could right any wrong. He knuckled back the brim of his Stetson to reveal his magnificent smile. “Thanks for taking Calvin for me. You remember how he likes his straw arranged?”
“I do, and there’s never been a more spoiled horse than this one here.” Charlie winked, clearly an amiable young man, as he patted Calvin’s neck. The gelding stomped his hoof as if he were the one in charge. Charlie chuckled, amused. “It’s good to meet you, Willa. Calvin, I suppose I have to warm your oats this time, too?”
The gelding nickered his opinion, clearly in the affirmative. She looked up as Austin caught her hand and helped her from the sleigh in one swift tug. His grip unsettled her. His touch was like magic. For a breathless moment she felt disoriented, not sure what was up or down, as if gravity lost its grip on her. Weightless, her heart stilled and all she knew was the steel of Austin’s hand in hers and his blue eyes peering into her. She felt a snap of connection and a brand-new awareness she’d never known before. As if the distance yawning between them had swung closed and they were heart to heart.
Then her foot sank into the snow to touch the ground. Her pulse kicked to a start and the world came back into focus. Silent fields of snow, solemn evergreens, the gleam of lamplight on the shoveled steps. She blinked, unable to catch her breath. The connection between them remained. Not sure what had happened, she didn’t seem able to move.
“Don’t stand out there!” an older man called in a deep, smoky baritone. “Bring the girl in so we can get a look at her.”
“I will, as long as you all agree to behave,” Austin called out, chipper and happy sounding.
“We aren’t promising anything,” the man called out from above.
Dizzy, she stumbled forward as Austin gently led her. He tugged at her senses, making her aware of his hot palm against hers, the scent of wind and hay on his coat and the crunch of his step in the snow.
“Don’t worry, they’ll love you.” His words rumbled low and buttery and just for her. He leaned in, his lips grazing her forehead. “They can be nosy, so I’ll be right beside you until you settle in.”
His words didn’t seem to penetrate the fog of her brain. All she could feel was him. His arm pressed against hers, male-hard and reassuring as they took the steps together.
“We have been waiting a long time for this moment.” The same man smiled. Austin’s father. “We never thought he would marry. We feared no woman would have him.”
“We all worried and drew the same conclusion.” Evelyn’s familiar voice penetrated the fog of Willa’s brain, but only slightly. Austin dominated her senses. It was the knell of his boots she heard and the comforting squeeze of his fingers against hers she felt. He was all she could see—the dashing tilt of his Stetson, the jaunty grin snaring the corners of his mouth and the encouraging light as his gaze found hers. Looking into him made the world vanish again and her pulse slowed. Warmth ribboned through her chest.
What was happening? She’d never felt like this before.
“This is such a happy day.” A woman’s voice broke through and Willa shook her head, tearing her gaze away from Austin, disoriented again. The woman looked to be in her mid-twenties, with friendly green eyes and a lovely dress. “Austin has a bride. We’re all so excited.”
She felt shy, not used to being around so many strangers. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d attended any social function. She was tongue-tied when she tried to say hello.
“We’re so pleased you’re here.” Another woman reached out to draw Willa into the house where people crowded around her.
So many strangers, but they were Austin’s family. She spotted tall, broad-shouldered men, who must be his brothers, and the pretty women they were married to. Everyone smiled at her as Austin joined her in the foyer, while thumps and laughter in the background spoke of children playing in another room.
Somehow she had to untie her tongue. She wanted to make a good impression, for Austin’s sake. So he wouldn’t be disappointed in her in front of his family, those who mattered most to him. She steeled her spine and battled down her shyness. “I’m pleased to be here, too. Thank you for having me. Here is something for the table.”
“Hmm, it smells good.” Evelyn snatched the bundle, her friendly smile helping Willa feel more at ease. “If Austin will let go of you so we can have you, come into the kitchen with us.”
“Yes, come,” the woman who’d drawn her into the house said. “We still have a bit of cooking left, but that’s a good thing because we’ll hav
e you all to ourselves.”
“We’ve been dying to meet you ever since Austin told us you’d accepted his proposal. I’m Berry, by the way.” The woman with sparkling green eyes took off for the kitchen. “Come, we’ll get you some tea to help you warm up. Austin, let go of the woman.”
“I promised her I wouldn’t leave her alone with the likes of you.” His fingers remained locked in hers, his tone easygoing. He was the largest man in the room, taller than his father and the men who flanked him. His younger brothers, she realized, all had families of their own.
“Good decision, son.” Austin’s father had salt-and-pepper hair, Austin’s shoulders and Austin’s smile. He closed the door against the cold. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you, Willa. Welcome to my home.”
“Welcome to the family,” one of the brothers offered with a single manly nod.
“Thanks for marrying our big brother, Willa.” The other brother had Austin’s smile, too. “We feared no one would ever have the courage.”
“I’m more courageous than I look,” she quipped, aware of the exact second when Austin’s hand left hers. He moved behind her to help her off with her coat. She loosened the sash and fumbled with her buttons. “I was pleasantly surprised when I detrained here in town and discovered he wasn’t all that bad.”
His brothers roared with laughter. The women in the room chuckled merrily. Austin’s smile outshone them all, something she could not see because he stood behind her, but felt in the air as his hands settled on her shoulders.
“That’s a good one,” Brant barked out.
“We like her, Austin.” Derek nodded his approval while Pa watched over them, beaming approval.
“I got lucky when Willa answered my letter.” He lifted the garment off her carefully, feeling how shaky she was. She’d spent the last two years almost entirely alone on a remote farm with only the company of an abusive husband. But she was doing well. Already his family adored her.