by Starr West
“You know it’s not all about casting spells and riding broomsticks.” Although Phoenix meant this as a joke, I had actually considered the broomstick thing.
“It’s more about the earth and connecting to its energy.” Phoenix was thoughtful and little wrinkles formed in the corner of his eyes. “You’re a little strange, you know; you hug trees but don’t believe in magick.”
“Mum always says that everything is alive and that we should acknowledge the living spirits, especially when the trees are really old.” It wasn’t the first time I spent an afternoon hugging trees. Phoenix just smiled.
“I can show you something, if you like,” he said.
“Sure.” I’d just rammed my toes amongst the dirt and bugs, why would I say no to this?
Phoenix took my hands and held them together as if I were about pray. “Close your eyes, and take some deep breaths. Breathe deep, down into your diaphragm,” he instructed me as he placed his hand lightly on my stomach, just above my waist. He was so close that I could feel the warmth of his breath. A tiny butterfly fluttered in my stomach and my toes tingled.
“Yeah, that’s right,” he said. I could feel the cool air seeping slowly into my lungs. I took slow deep breaths for a few minutes. The vibrant sounds of the forest faded and grew distant until I was only aware of my breath and Phoenix’s voice.
“Find a quiet place in your mind, where your own thoughts don’t interrupt… now, focus on your hands… call the energy to you… you’ll feel your fingers tingle… good, move your hands apart a little… feel them resist… it should pull like they’re magnetic.” My fingers tingled, everything tingled and I was amazed to feel a slight repulsion, exactly as if my hands were polarized magnets.
Phoenix continued to speak slow and soft. “Good, try a little more - cup your hands like your holding a ball. Yes. Can you feel that? Slowly… just move a little bit at a time… play with the energy for a minute… hold it… allow it to grow… feel it between your hands… don’t rush, take it slow… now… open your eyes… cool! Hey, don’t move too fast. Just hold it and look down at your hands. Can you see the colours? The swirling?” He was excited and didn’t wait for my answer, “That energy comes from the earth, from the trees and the flowers and from you; it’s all around us everywhere. Psyche, that’s magick. It’s a tangible essence, not make-believe. It’s just like the spirits in the tree.”
I was smiling now; I bit my lip and wrinkled my nose, embarrassed, “That’s really cool.”
Phoenix was delighted and his crooked smile tugged at my heart. It was as if we had achieved something special, like we shared a secret, and I guess we had.
Phoenix reached out and touched my hands, causing a small, visible spark of electricity to zap. I pulled away in shock. Phoenix frowned and looked at me again with that same intense gaze, the look that pulled at my soul and searched for answers. I was still suspicious, I guess, but maybe that was just his way.
The ground trembled beneath our feet. Another aftershock maybe, or a tiny earthquake; it’s hard to tell. We were getting used to them now, more or less.
“We should be getting back; Libby will think I kidnapped you.” We stood up, turned around, took no more than fifty steps and were back in the garden, but now we stood at the top of the garden, directly opposite the place we had entered the forest a few hours earlier.
“I thought you were supposed to show me how to find my way and not get lost. I don’t think you were very successful.” A minute ago, I was quietly confident, but as I absorbed the view in front of me, I realised there was no way I could have found my way home. I thought I knew where we were. I was wrong. I looked at Phoenix, heaved a sigh and stomped off towards the house, leaving Phoenix behind. In the distance, I heard the rumble of thunder.
Dinner was ready and the house was warm and inviting. It was autumn but already the night air had begun to chill. It’s not unusual to get frost this time of year, I’m told, and it already felt as if this year would be especially cold.
“How’d you go?” Libby asked and I waited for Phoenix to respond. My anger dissolved as quickly as it had formed. I knew how my day had been, but I wondered what he thought.
“She’s a fast learner, Libby, so that makes the late start a bit easier for everyone.” He looked at me then and shook his head. “But I wouldn’t let her out alone just yet. I expect she’ll get quite lost.” Phoenix was laughing and they spoke about me as if I weren’t there. It was obvious that Phoenix spent a lot of time with Libby. They were comfortable with each other and I relaxed in the warmth of their company. Libby never tried to replace Mum by asserting parental authority, except for the day she forced me out of my room and made me promise to live. She had shown me respect and treated me like a friend, the same way she treated Phoenix.
Phoenix was watching me as Libby went about getting dinner. I watched her and Phoenix watched me. Every now and again I would sneak a peek to see if he had grown tired of waiting for whatever it was he seemed to be waiting for. Each time my eyes met his, I found the same look, seeking… searching… waiting… This time, Phoenix smiled, perhaps he had finally found the answers he sought.
I left the pair in the kitchen and hurried off to shower and change. I had muddy feet and my jeans were stained from rotting bark and streaks of moss. The shower was soothing once I warmed to the temperature of the water, but water was precious and showers were a privilege, so I hurried to finish.
I was thinking about how easily the tiny ball of magick had formed in my hand. It wasn’t really a world-changing achievement, but it was amazing. I hadn’t seen the swirling colours that Phoenix assumed I had, but the energy was real. Surely, there must be more to magick than that? Whispers greeted me as I opened the bathroom door. I listened harder and instantly felt like an intruder.
“Did you know?” Phoenix questioned, I didn’t have a clue what they were talking about and knew it was none of my business, but I was still curious.
“I guessed, but I couldn’t be sure, there was no real way to know.”
“You should have told me, given me some warning. What do I do now? Do I tell her? I thought I was here to help,” Phoenix said, sounding as if he were afraid or annoyed. “I didn’t know she would be the one. How can that be helpful?”
“You would give your life for her, Phoenix. How much more helpful can you be?”
It sounded like they were talking about me, but it wasn’t a subject I could grasp. What on earth were they talking about? Why would anyone have to give their life for her or anyone else for that matter?
When I walked back into the kitchen, both Phoenix and Libby smiled as if the previous conversation never happened and I couldn’t very well ask what they were talking about.
“Wow, you look different without the outer coating of mud,” Phoenix commented, making me blush. I hated blushing, but it happened to me often, too often. I always considered it the ultimate betrayal when your own body revealed your secrets.
“Shall we eat?” Libby served dinner and Phoenix stayed.
The conversation over dinner was effortless and the relaxed atmosphere surprised me. I ate slowly because I knew Phoenix would leave as soon as we finished, yet he too seemed in no hurry. I saw him looking at me with the same intent stare, but there was now a hint of sadness in his eyes, I think.
I was tired by the time Phoenix left. I didn’t cry myself to sleep for the first time in months. Yesterday I was lost, floundering in the darkness and seeking death. Today felt like the first day of my new life. I had a new friend and discovered that somewhere deep inside me, magick really did exist. Perhaps I had found a home after all.
~~~~
Thoughts of the day scattered and dissolved into the surreal world of my dreams. Rainbows danced across the sky and butterflies fluttered from flowers made of glass. A girl stood in the sunlight, dressed in white. Sometimes I was the girl, but today I watched her from a distance. She turned and peered into the shadows. I thought it was “the man” but the sh
adow moved and became a bird without eyes. Black feathers fell to the ground, bleeding into the rainbow sky. I became the girl in white.
Fear consumed me as I ran across a sparsely covered land. Trees were scattered and the open wasteland provided nowhere to hide. The bird grew larger as it approached and landed in the tall grass. Beating wings soon became thunder from the earth and a howling beast emerged from the shadows.
I ran through tall golden grass, which provided protection for the hunter, but not for me, the hunted. Large boulders jutted up and a stream ran beside me. In the distance, a light shone but I couldn’t reach it. I ran. The beast closed in… I could hear my heart thumping, my breaths turning raspy and a scream that cut the air. I would not survive today…
And then from the light, a figure emerged… I’d seen him before… he’s always here, waiting to rescue me. I had run from the beast, hoping to find him… my heart slowed, I knew I was safe… I would not die today.
Chapter 4 ~ THE SMELL OF DEATH AND DEVASTATION
We were living as if the world had already ended and in many ways, it had; but today we were driving to town in a four-wheel-drive wagon. It was strange to hear the motor hum and watch the trees flash past as we drove there. I could almost imagine that life was normal, but the narrow winding road was deserted, littered with debris and led to a ghost town.
The town of Mount Misty was only ever a small country town with less than a thousand residents and no industry other than a few dairy farms and some logging in the early days. As a ghost town, it was destined to become a boomtown because it was the perfect location for survivors seeking refuge from a broken world.
Situated on the top of the Great Dividing Range, Mount Misty sat safely at more than a thousand metres above sea level. In a time of cataclysmic natural disasters, it was probably one of the safest places on earth. If sea levels continued to rise, we would be sitting high and dry, but this was no secret and any survivor looking for a haven would probably head this way.
Altitude was an important fact, but the region was also safe from other disasters. Earthquakes had not affected the area, though small aftershocks were still a daily occurrence. Volcanic eruptions were a possibility, but the local volcanos had been extinct for millions of years, so the only real threats to the region were from cyclones and violent storms.
Yes, Mount Misty was safe.
Ruben drove the wagon with Libby strapped into the passenger seat. Ruben was Phoenix’s father, a tall sturdy man, ex-army and Vietnam vet.
“Do you think there will be many people in town?” I asked.
“I hope there are thousands,” said Raven, “That way I can ditch this crappy life and do something fun.”
“The area won’t cope with thousands, but I expect there to be some refugees, maybe a few hundred.” Ruben thought the refugees from the city would be heading to higher ground and eventually find Mount Misty.
“We came into town a couple times in the first few weeks; but most of the arrivals had family here or were heading further west,” said Phoenix.
“You think people will still be coming? It’s been so long.”
“It depends on how many survived and what happened on the coast and in the cities. It’s hard to know what we will find. Maybe there will be no one.”
We still had no reports of what was going on in the cities, but there was some hope that the government had been able to scrape up the remnants of civilisation and save society. It was unlikely, but there was still hope.
“Maybe it will be good news,” I said. I was hopeful, but Mum and I drove to Mount Misty as civilisation was crumbling. We saw the devastation and death. It would take a miracle to fix this and even that wouldn’t be enough.
“Of course it will be good news. We should have gone to town weeks ago instead of hanging out, thinking that the world had ended.” Raven’s view differed from everyone else in the valley; she thought it was a massive overreaction to a power outage.
“Either way, we need to be careful what we say,” said Libby. “These are desperate times and we need to be cautious. I suggest we lie.”
“Yes, that’s the only way to be sure. We have to protect what we’ve built,” said Ruben. “If anyone asks, let them know that life is a real struggle, lay it on a bit if you have to. It wouldn’t hurt to mention that we’ve had sickness and death.”
“But don’t let them think we’ve had the green plague; that would be a disaster. We might even get shot for spreading the sickness,” said Libby.
“Raven, I want you to be very careful what you say today,” said Ruben.
“Whatever! What about Phoenix and Navarre? Why don’t you tell them to keep their mouths shut?”
“Don’t worry about me,” said Navarre, “I just want to check out what’s going on. I don’t plan on tellin’ anyone anything.”
“But if you’re asked, you must lie,” Ruben said.
For me, it wasn’t really a lie. I wasn’t starving, but I was miserable most of the time and I had lost a loved one to sickness. I knew it wasn’t the green plague, but I wasn’t planning to talk to anyone, so it didn’t matter.
“We should pull into Nell’s place,” said Libby. “No one will hear the vehicles and we can walk to town from there. Plus, I’d like to make sure that Nell is okay.” Libby had never mentioned Nell, but then again, she’d never mentioned any of her friends.
When we pulled into Nell’s driveway, everything appeared deserted. The yard was overgrown and the house was closed up. It appeared that Nell might have left some time ago.
“Perhaps she’s gone to town,” Libby said, trying to sound hopeful, but she had a high-pitched twang of concern in her voice. “I’d know… you know that… I would know!”
Nell lived in a small cottage with an oversized yard. If she were still here, it was likely that she had suffered greatly over the past few months. I followed Libby to the back of the house, where the grass was waist-high and dewy wet. The back door hung open and one of the hinges was broken so the door hung slightly askew. The house was cold and dark and mouldy, stale air greeted us as we entered through the back door.
“Stay here, Psyche.” Libby put her hand in the middle of my chest to stop me taking another step. I knew she was afraid of what she might find. I was going to protest, but Ruben came to the door.
“Psyche! Go stand over there with Phoenix,” and when I hesitated, “Now!” he said.
We waited in silence. I knew they expected the worst and that’s what they would find. Navarre held a number of spent bullet shells in his hand and more lay on the ground at his feet. I felt the blood drain from my face. Life had not been a struggle for Nell after all. Her life had been taken along with her food and whatever else the thieves thought they needed more than Nell did.
I really wasn’t suited to this life.
“We must do the right thing for Nell and lay her body to rest,” Libby said when she returned.
“Phoenix? See if Nell has a couple of shovels in the back shed.” Ruben’s face was ashen. The shock and horror of the scene was difficult even for him. “I expect we will see more of this. As long as people think they can take whatever they need, no one is safe.” Ruben was angry and the colour that returned to his face was tinged with rage.
We dug a small shallow grave in the backyard. Phoenix and Ruben carried Nell’s remains, wrapped in a quilt. Black marks covered the quilt like inkblots, evidence of blood, old and dry, evidence of a life taken. Libby spoke words of friendship over the mound of fresh dirt and planted a rosebush she’d uprooted from the front garden.
My mind raced. The implications of this single act of violence made me realise life really had changed. Prior to this, I considered my life safe, our lives to be safe. It hadn’t occurred to me that people would be so desperate that they would resort to murder. It felt as if we had slipped backwards through time into the dark ages.
Her grave, a dark damp hole in the ground, was so final. Libby had taught me that it was only her body in t
he ground and that the essence of Nell had already moved on. Her spirit had returned home. But death is never easy, no matter what you believe. My heart ached for the life taken, for Libby’s pain and Nell’s fear in her final moments and the ragged edges of my own grief returned with renewed rawness.
We left Nell to rest in peace in her overgrown garden and headed toward town.
Seth and Lachlan had arrived in a small Jeep and were waiting beside the gate. Both men were tall and badly needed a haircut and a shave, although it was a look shared by all the men. Even Phoenix and Navarre had a scruffy “wild man” thing going on, but they were younger so it didn’t seem so frightening. They smiled as we approached, but said nothing.
At the crossroads on the outside of town, people milled in small groups and the soft hum of voices floated across the still air. Several vehicles were parked along the edge of the crumbling bitumen and a man stood on the tailgate of an old truck.
“I wonder what this is all about,” said Ruben. “I should have known Lon Everly would be at the centre of any effort to organise and gain control.”
Lon Everly, the man on the truck, was tall and thin with long, grey hair pulled into a ponytail. He nodded our way and called to the crowd as we approached.
“Can everyone head this way?” he yelled, “People! People! Can we get some action here?” He waved his arms and gathered the people. He looked like an evangelist desperate to spread to word of God.
“Oh, this will be good,” said Ruben.
“Welcome everyone! Many of you already know me, but for those who don’t, my name is Lon Everly. I’ve lived in the area goin’ on twenty years now, so I guess you might say I’m a local. I know you came here today hopin’ to get answers. Some of you are expectin’ to be rescued, while others are just lookin’ for good news. Well, it doesn’t look as if anyone is gonna rescue us, I have no answers, and dependin’ on your point of view, the only good news is you’re still alive.”