by Starr West
“Your mother was smart, Psyche. If she made sure that I wouldn’t be able to sense that you were bound, then she must have also created a way to remove the binding without hurting you. Now, I think it is time I had a word with my daughter, if you’ll excuse me.” Libby went to her room and shut the door.
Chapter 21 ~ SECRETS OF THE DEAD
Libby was a medium. It was her gift and she cherished this above all else; but unless she was contacting a person’s guides or family on the other side, she preferred to “speak to the dead” alone. Today was no different and her displeasure with Celeste was more than enough reason for her to be alone. Readings usually took a little more than an hour. Spirits communicating between two worlds had trouble maintaining contact for even that long. On the other hand, guides were able to stay a lot longer, but it was emotionally draining for everyone in the room. Libby had now been locked in her room for over three hours.
This gave the rest of us time to reflect on recent events, as well as plan, fret, and drink copious amounts of tea and coffee. When Libby emerged from her room, Tahinah had cooked enough to feed both families and I had finished the afternoon chores. Libby looked completely drained and seemed years older than she looked this morning.
“Psyche, I love your mother, I always have, but I swear, if she were here now…” Libby never finished the sentence. “Basically I am no wiser than I was this morning. Celeste would only say she was sorry, over and over. She said ‘sorry and please forgive me.’ She also said she loved you and to take care of you.”
I honestly expected she would provide the pieces of puzzle we were missing. Why else would she tell us about Butterfly?
“I spoke to my guides, but every question resulted in a dead end. They just blocked me out with visions of mist and brick walls.”
Tahinah placed a cup of hot tea in front of Libby. Libby was quiet, thoughtful, and I knew she wanted to reassure me that everything would be fine, but she couldn’t. “I’m not sure if I was locked out because it involves Psyche and this may be considered interfering, or simply because of the binding. But there’s more going on here than we realise. Tahinah, you take the doll and see if you get anything from it.”
Tahinah took the doll. She was clairsentient, but didn’t normally read objects, although today she was willing to try. We fell silent as she sat quietly, holding the doll. When she opened her eyes, they were red-rimmed and glistening. “I see nothing helpful,” she said as she let out a deep sigh, “but the magick is so powerful and so tightly bound. I don’t know how Celeste did this, but if this is Psyche’s magick, I can understand why she did it. I think we should talk about this, Libby.”
“No,” I said, “if there is any talking to do, then you will do it in front of me. There have been enough secrets.”
“Psyche’s right. It is too late for secrets, only the truth can protect her now.” Finally, Phoenix was on my side, even if it meant standing up to his mother.
“It’s just… I don’t think you should have to worry about this, Psyche, at least not yet. I might be very wrong.”
“I know I promised you the truth, but are you sure you want to hear this? You may not like what Tahinah has discovered,” Libby sighed. I may not like it? Come to think of it, I didn’t like any of it.
Tahinah’s eyes were still rimmed with red and bloodshot. She pushed her hand through her hair as if she were trying to force the thoughts away. “I’m sorry… but that energy, I don’t think any human could handle that much energy. I think it would… kill the person receiving it. Especially if it arrived all at once. It would be like a tsunami, destroying everything in its path.” She looked at me before adding, “and you’re still so frail.”
Libby too, caressed her forehead, but I felt surprisingly calm.
“I don’t know what to do,” Libby whispered. “I am sure this is Psyche’s year, but we are running out of time. I really don’t know what to do.”
“I do,” I said. Libby and Tahinah looked bewildered. “Well, I don’t really, but I know what we’re going to do. We can research! We have the most amazing library of magical texts I have ever seen, plus we’ve got knowledge. Not me, of course, but you two and the other women. They can help and Phoenix has his memories, so technically, he is the oldest and the wisest person here. I’m pretty much deadwood, but I can read more and make tea.”
“You know, that’s not a bad idea.”
“Well it’s better than no idea.”
“There is one other thing,” I said, “what exactly do you know, Phoenix?” Phoenix had promised me the truth, but I knew there were many things he wasn’t allowed to tell me.
Phoenix shook his head. “Nothing really, not about the binding anyway.”
“But you were sent here for a reason, what was that reason?”
“I… Well, I was shown what was supposed to happen, and told there might be some who wanted to stop you.” He looked thoughtful and sad. “You know I love you, right? But I have to be careful. I would never keep something from you that could endanger your life, but there are some things that you must discover on your own.”
“Did you know about the binding? Or about Volante?” I asked, I could tell he was holding back, but exactly how much was a still a mystery.
“I knew that there had been a major change when you were young, something that could block your path and force a change to your destiny. I also knew that it wasn’t done with evil intent, but I didn’t know about the binding or that it was your mother. As far as Volante goes, and even your father’s role in all this, it’s complicated, really complicated.”
“You knew?”
“No, it’s not that I knew they would abduct you or that Volante was a soul-sucking vampire, but you must understand there has to be a very good reason to send someone like me back.” Phoenix reached out and held my hand. I resisted the urge to pull away and swallowed the feelings of deception like bitter medicine.
“There is a hierarchy, a spiritual council, that plan and organise, and try to keep everything according to plan, but it’s more a game of chess than anything else. They have a strategy, but it doesn’t guarantee they win the game. There is free will to start with, and that always complicates things since not everyone is with the program, so to speak. There are those on both sides of the veil working to prevent the changes.”
I wanted to run so bad, the soles of my feet ached, but I knew I was past the point where running would solve my problems. Not that it ever had.
“I have more enemies?” I inquired. I thought Volante was just a twisted witch, but this tiny detail was about to change the game or at least explain why the game was so hard.
“It’s not personal, but you’re like the keystone. If you fail, then we all fail.”
“So I really need to learn how to play chess.”
~~~
Strategy wasn’t my thing and chess certainly wasn’t my game, but in the quiet hours before dawn, I came up with a plan that would change everything. I slipped on my jeans, now three sizes too big, cinched them in with a belt, threw on my coat and boots and walked to the bathroom. I carried a large pair of scissors. Not the sharp pointed kind that cut hair, more like the type psycho killers used in horror movies. My hair was long. Too long for what I had planned. I began cutting and watched the hair fall to the floor. I used my shoulders as a guide, but in the mirror everything is backward. My haircut ended up more crooked and jagged than was attractive, but I really didn't care. When I finished, I looked like Joan of Arc, the heretic, just moments before they burnt her at the stake. If I could channel Joan of Arc, I would probably do okay, but I realised that was pretty unlikely.
I returned to the kitchen and waited for dawn. I watched the sky changed from black to grey to pink and left the house to find Ruben and Navarre. At this time of day, they would be patrolling, watching for creatures of the night and strangers with murderous intent. I had thought Ruben was obsessing unnecessarily, but after everything that happened, I realised his concerns were justified. I arrived a
t my destination before the men returned and waited on the steps.
“Greetings, Psyche,” Tahinah smiled. “I thought we were coming to your house today.”
“I just need to see Ruben and then I’ll be home.”
“Ruben? Okay then, they should be back soon.” I could tell Tahinah was confused, but I still had some details to work out in my head before I revealed my plan. As plans go, it wasn’t that elaborate, but still it would take dedication and I needed Ruben on my side.
Ruben arrived just seconds before Navarre and Phoenix.
“Good morning, Psyche, you’re up bright and early.”
“Hi Ruben, we need to talk,” I said.
“Hey Psyche! I wanna see ya war wounds,” Navarre pulled his shirt off and showed me the jagged scar that ran down his arm. I slipped off my coat and carefully rolled back the sleeve of my shirt.
“Ooh, nasty,” said Navarre. Our scars would be much the same when mine healed. His wound had healed into three equally spaced pink lines that travelled the length of his arm from shoulder to elbow. My wound was fresh. It puckered beneath the stitches, still raw and angry. Three lines angled from shoulder to elbow as if a snake had wrapped around my arm.
“You know if you were Apache, you would be two missions away from becoming a real warrior.” I could see him working this out in his head, “That’s only if we don’t count the day you were lost, ‘cause that’s not really something a warrior would do. But being a prisoner and fighting the hell beast, they both count.”
“Cool!” I said. Navarre had most things calculated in Apache law, “But that’s kind of what I’m here about.”
“You want to become an Apache warrior?”
The look of confusion on everyone’s face was no surprise. “See, the thing is, I am always in danger; and if Phoenix is right, then it’s only going to get worse and I’m done with being the damsel in distress.”
I looked around at the faces of the men before me, “So… will you teach me to fight? To defend myself? Teach me warrior skills and how to find my way. I’m tired of getting lost, sick of being afraid, and most of all, I hate being a threat to everyone else. I’ll do whatever I need to do, learn whatever I need to fight.”
“Are you sure?” said Ruben. “We’ve tried this before, but you have to be dedicated, Psyche. If you’re going to hold a weapon, you have to be ready to use it, ready to kill. It’s not a game. Have you discussed this with Libby?”
“No I’ll tell Libby later, but I’m ready, I need this. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Alright then, we’ll start today!”
“No, she won’t. We have other plans today.” Tahinah had been listening. It was true we did have other plans and the binding wasn’t something I could ignore.
“Yes, we do, but there might be time this afternoon.” I said.
“If you’re serious about this, we’ll sort something out.” Ruben patted me on my back and left. I was surprised that Phoenix had not said anything, but neither had Navarre. He just smiled. His warrior tribe of one was just about to become a tribe of two.
~~~
Butterfly sat in the middle of the table like a guest of honour at her own execution. While I loved her and the memories she held, I had trouble feeling affection for her this morning. My memories of Butterfly were tightly woven with memories of Mum, my childhood and my dreams. I knew I would grieve again over the death of this doll.
I recognised Libby’s sourdough bread baking as the tangy aroma reached my tastebuds. Libby and Tahinah were already sitting at the table when I arrived. Tahinah considered my death to be a real possibility. Perhaps the doll was the only thing keeping me alive, but I no longer wished to die nor was I afraid to die. However, if I had to choose between the doll and me and one of us had to go, I would prefer it was the doll.
“So, no flashes of genius during the night?” I asked, hoping Libby or Tahinah had received some divine inspiration that would save us both and allow me to spend the day with Ruben. They just shook their heads.
“What on earth did you do to your hair?”
“I just needed a change and it’s a distraction,” I said. Libby just shook her head.
“Well, I wish we could find Celeste’s book. I know she would have recorded the ritual there.” Tahinah said as she nodded in agreement. “Some habits are hard to break.”
I still had no idea where she would have hidden the book or why I had never seen it. “I can look in the bus again,” I offered.
~~~~
The bus was a mess. Splinters of wood impaled the walls, and large wads of hair hung from the shattered timber frame of the narrow doorway that had trapped the beast long enough for me to reach the house. Now a gaping hole extended across the centre from one side of the bus to the other.
The stench of death still lingered in the air and the sour taste that rose in my mouth was insignificant compared to the raw emotions so fresh in my mind. I forced myself to push the memories away and focused on finding the book. I struggled to keep it together. My heart thumped in my chest and my mouth was as dry as an old piece of Egyptian papyrus. I moved the mattress sideways as I had two nights before.
Most of the items stored in the bus were important to me, but no help in finding a solution to the binding. Just trinkets we saved and collected. I sifted through a pile of books, but other than a few notebooks, most were recently published novels or maps.
The bus moved, sinking slowly under the weight of something… My heart stopped beating and a pain stabbed me in the chest. No, not again. I thought to scream, but my dry, papery throat made no sound. As I retreated toward the broken window, my eyes focused on the doorway and there stood Phoenix. I swore and let out a gasp of hot air.
“Sorry, Psyche, I didn’t think…”
I wanted to scream at him for terrifying me, but I should have waited for him; I shouldn’t have come here alone. When we arrived back at the house, the women were busy, not researching, but cleansing and protecting. Candles burned in the centre of the table. Lilly held a large wad of smoking sage, while Emily was sprinkling salted water over the floor and across the doorways. Trinity, with her fiery red hair and pixie features, sat on the floor with her eyes closed, ignoring the activity around her.
Yale and Abigail arrived just as the last wisps of smoke dissolved into the air. Abigail placed pine needles outside the doorway. “Looks as if I’ve arrived in perfect time,” she said.
Libby owned hundreds of books. Everything from large leather-bound monsters, older than the combined ages of everyone in the room, to modern paperbacks published within the last few years. I selected a couple of modern paperbacks, thinking the language would be easier to consume than the words in the old, musty tomes. Flicking randomly through the first, then the second, I realised I had no idea what I was looking for. I thought this would be simple. I wanted a book titled ‘How to Bind and Unbind Your Daughter’s Magick for Dummies’.
Butterfly sat waiting to learn her fate. I felt her smile at me or at least I imagined it. With all the secrets uncovered, she held the biggest secret of them all. She didn’t really look much like me, but that didn’t seem to matter. It was the intention of her creator that connected us.
“What is this?” I pointed to a symbol embroidered into the front of the doll.
“That’s your name. Your mother used an ancient language to dedicate the doll.”
The symbol was simple, a few straight lines and angles with a line and a small circle at either end, it didn’t seem that important, but it meant that the doll represented me and the bindings were not only wrapped around the doll, but also around me. The binding stopped the magick, without any side effects.
I may have had doubts about magick in general, but when I held the doll, my mind cleared, and with clarity came honesty. I knew that the binding was meant to protect me. That motivation felt true, and deep down, I knew it was true. Besides, my flaky mother wouldn’t go to this much trouble unless there was some truth she were tryin
g to hide. To bind, control, protect… above all else, I knew Mum loved me.
“We’re not getting anywhere, are we?” I said. We had been reading for hours, either too scared to stop, or just determined to find an answer before the sun set. I found a book on ancient myths and lost myself in the familiar world of gods and goddesses. Pepper had pushed the books out of the way to snuggle in beside me to sleep. I pulled out the ornate pillow that Mum and I sent Libby, laid back in front of the fire, and ditched the research for a journey into mythology.
I was fascinated with the myths and continued to read while everyone else took a break. There had been little discussion during the day and I took this as a sign that we were facing an impossible situation.
“I think we are approaching this wrong.”
“Maybe… but what do you suggest?”
“What are we really looking for anyway?”
“I suspect that Celeste found the spell here, or at least something that helped to create the spell.”
“Oh Libby, you’re just annoyed that you couldn’t sense it. You’re more disappointed with yourself than anything else,” Abigail smiled as she nudged Libby with her elbow, trying to lighten the mood.
“I told you she wasn’t right. Her aura was all wrong but nobody listened,” Trinity said, casting a glance my way. She had always seemed a little cold and this explained why she was suspicious of me.
“Yes, yes, but it could have been the magick. Psyche’s different for sure, so it makes sense that her aura’s different.” Libby was trying to defend me.
“You know it makes sense, the magick had to be bound. She has no connection to magick at all.”
“Hey, did you all forget I’m here in the room? I can hear everything you’re saying,” I suddenly interjected.
“Sorry, honey,” said Libby.
I brought my book of mythology and sat at the table with the women. “I’ve been thinking. Mum only did this to protect me, not hurt me. Maybe she knew something we didn’t.”