Finally Tex stumbled out of the bedroom. At least he'd managed to put jeans on although he was naked on top. He jerked his belt through the buckle as he walked out.
"I didn't order pizza," he said.
The girl's face turned grey. A really sickly, horrible grey, like nothing I'd seen before. I thought she was going to collapse on the porch. Sweat ran down her face and the tendons in her neck throbbed.
She opened her mouth in a silent scream. No sound came out for a moment then a cry like an animal caught in one of those steel traps. The noise pierced through me.
"Are you okay?"
She dropped the pizza on the doorstep, the box bouncing open and spraying sauce up my legs.
Then she ran.
"Do you think she's okay?" I asked. I stepped out on the porch to look for her in case she collapsed in the garden but heard the wheels of her car spin on the gravel and saw the headlights through the trees of the driveway going faster than was safe.
Her reaction worried me. Maybe she'd seen a rat or some kind of vermin in the room. That was something I didn't want to deal with. Tex’s naked chest was pretty darn hot but I didn’t think it’d cause that kind of reaction.
"Is any of that pizza still good?" Tex asked, picking up the box.
"You're kidding, right? Mr Rock Star eating reject pizza off the ground? Imagine if your fans saw you do that."
"Hey, three second rule. Anyway, it's not like it touched the floor. It was in the box."
He stuffed a slice of pizza in his mouth before I could stop him. Actually, it looked really good and, as he said, it hadn't actually touched the floor.
I grabbed a cloth and wiped the sauce off my leg.
That girl, she'd been really strange. I didn't know why but I had the feeling I'd seen her before. Not delivering pizza but somewhere else. I shivered and not from the cold. Something about the way she'd looked at me had scared me. I shook the feeling off. What threat would some complete stranger hold for me? She'd even run off without getting the money for the pizza.
Anyway, Tex distracted me by wiping the pizza grease off my lips with his tongue. Soon all thoughts of strange girls and pizza were forgotten as he unwrapped me from my blanket.
"I haven't had you over the table," he growled in my ear.
"Actually, you have..." but I wasn't going to argue about that. Not with his arms around my waist and him unbuckling his jeans.
-0-
I'd gone to get the washing in when I noticed the clothes had mud on them. Splattered all over my stuff. Tex's clothes were fine. It looked like someone had hurled big lumps of mud at the line.
When I unpegged my things and smelt it, I realised it wasn't mud. It was shit. I dropped my clothes on the ground.
What the hell had been going on?
I'd forgotten to get the laundry in the night before so it'd been on the line all night. Maybe some animal had shit on it or a bird. It was really gross though.
It made my stomach churn but I picked up my clothes by the corners and put them in the basket. I'd have to run them through the machine again.
If it'd had been an animal, how did it end up so splattered? It was like someone had done it purposely but there was never anyone around except us and the builders. I doubted that the builders would do something like that. It's not like I'd done anything to piss them off and, if I had, they were the kind of guys who'd straight up say something not do some dirty trick like flinging shit on my laundry.
I mentioned it to Tex.
"It'd be an animal. A possum or something. Don't freak about it."
I nodded but I was freaked out. It wasn’t an animal. I didn’t like weird things happening around me. It was okay for him to tell me not to freak out, it wasn’t his clothes that were covered in shit.
But Tex had turned his attention back to his guitar.
I put my clothes back in the machine then tidied up. When I’d finished all that, I sat down to do some work on my laptop. Tex’s music drew me out of my bad mood.
I didn't want to disturb him while he worked on a new song but my body burnt for him to touch me again. I couldn't concentrate on anything so I put my laptop to one side to watch him. His face was completely different when he played his acoustic to when he played his other guitars. He looked more mellow, more relaxed. His gaze moved from his guitar to the middle distance, as though trying to pluck out the music he heard in the air. His eyelashes fluttered. His fingers toyed along the neck of the guitar. It amazed me that from just nothing at all he could create this music. All this passion and emotion coming from him through the guitar.
In the few weeks since the festival, life had been quiet. Tex worked on some new songs and I did some programming. And, okay, we had sex a lot. I couldn't believe I'd lived so close to this man and had kept my hands to myself for so long. I could only blame it on my past experiences being so mediocre that I had no concept that sex could actually be so amazing.
That man could do things to my body that I had never dreamed were possible. It was lucky that we lived so far from anyone else because the way he made me scream would wake the dead. That thing he did with his tongue... how had I existed this long in life without that?
He finally noticed me.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"Nothing." I looked away from him. I didn't want to say I'd been studying him.
"Are you happy, Ruby?"
"Hell yeah." I stretched out on the bed, sleek like a well-fed cat.
He played a little tune. Different to what he'd been playing before. This was cutesy and fun. It made me grin.
"I'm doing some shows soon."
"Aha." I'd been expecting that. I knew he couldn't just do the festival and let it go at that. I’d steeled myself for it. I couldn’t let myself be threatened by the outside world. Tex needed someone who’d be there beside him not someone who’d get overwhelmed by the crowds and the experience. I’d promised myself I’d try even harder to support him. He’d been so understanding after I’d left the festival but I couldn’t expect that kind of understanding to go on forever. People said they were okay with things but the okay-ness never lasted. Eventually, they got sick of it and left.
"Are you fine with that?"
"Of course."
I reached down and scratched my leg. What did it matter if I was fine with it or not? He had to play. If I asked him to stop, I might as well ask him to stop breathing.
"Will you come and watch? For the entire night? We don't have to stick around for long afterwards. They are just going to be some smaller shows to keep us in practice before the big summer festivals."
I nodded.
Tex put his guitar down and grabbed my ankle. His fingers ran along my instep, my most ticklish spot. I squirmed on the bed, trying to pull my foot away from him.
"You'll stay for the whole night? Promise?"
I squealed and kicked out at him. He raised my foot to his mouth and bit down on my big toe.
"I promise," I screamed.
His hands crept down my leg and he lowered himself onto the bed beside me. His fingers inched inside the elastic of my panties.
"Why do you even bother wearing these?" he asked. "It just gives me the bother of removing them."
His fingers were inside the fabric now.
"Don't you want me gift wrapped?"
"It's hardly gift wrapping when they are soaking wet," he replied.
That cheeky glint in his eyes got me every time. I'd be flat on my back with my legs in the air any time he looked at me like that. My belly fluttered and I thought he wasn't doing nearly enough with his fingers.
Then we got interrupted by a knock at the door.
"That must be Hannah," Tex said.
He knew she was coming over and he’d started fooling around with me? I wanted to kill him. I was all het up and we had to stop. I tried to smile but gave an involuntary snort.
“Don’t start something you’re not going to finish!”
Tex got up t
o answer the door and I wondered if I should follow him. I could sit beside him and give encouraging girlfriend nods but was that even needed? Did he need an audience for everything?
"It's okay, isn't it? We won't be long."
"Sure. No problem." My voice sounded fake-cheerful even to me. It wasn't like I wanted him to not talk to his manager but I felt like I needed to lay down some ground rules. Like telling me beforehand if people were coming over. I hate people turning up unannounced. I needed time to prepare myself for other people being in my space, even if I really liked them.
Of course, the sex thing just made it even worse.
Maybe this whole thing would be easier when the house was finished and we'd have more space. Even though I'd been reluctant to get too involved in the decorating aspect of the move, when I started thinking about it, I could see the possibilities. A chance to create my own thing, from scratch.
I hid it from Tex but even going out with his friends drained my energy so that it took a few days for me to recover. It wasn’t that I didn’t like it. I just found it hard to handle.
In order to counteract that, I'd thrown myself into the plans for the new house. If I made it the perfect home, he'd be content there rather than wanting to go out more. One of the things I hated was having people in my house. It wasn't that I hated being hospitable, it was just having people in my space made me edgy. Very edgy. With the house being built though, I realised I could separate it into private spaces and public spaces. It was plenty big enough for that. Then, if Tex wanted to entertain at home, it would work.
And the whole idea of Tex wanting me to get involved was definitely exciting. Like he expected me to be with him for a long time.
I picked up my laptop. Hannah might think I was rude if I didn't go out and say hello but I just didn't have a happy, social face in me.
After about an hour though, I craved a cup of coffee. Tex had said this wouldn't take long but I had no idea what he considered “not long”.
If I went out and started making coffee, I’d have to offer Hannah one and even though that wasn’t really any extra effort, I didn’t feel like doing it. Tex would never think to offer. Even though she was his guest.
This whole housekeeper thing had gotten really complicated with the feelings added in. I knew it would. Feelings, not one of my favourite things. That’s why we should have ground rules.
I needed coffee. There was no denying it.
They had a lot of papers over the table. That was some high level planning.
"Sorry, this has taken longer than expected." Hannah smiled.
I smiled back. I couldn't complain. This was their business. Then Tex caught my eye and flashed me the most stomach-fluttering sex eyes. That fluttering didn't just stay in my stomach either. It travelled straight down to the Ruby Wonderland. Damn, he drove me crazy, doing that when I couldn't respond. My pulse raced and I wanted to throw Hannah out of the house so I could jump him. Instead, I did the right thing and acted polite.
"So, what are you guys planning?"
"Just a few shows and the summer festivals, like I told you. There's been an offer for me to do a film soundtrack too."
"Wow, that sounds amazing." I'd never really thought about people writing music for films. It was just there. It'd be a great project for Tex though. All the time though, I was wishing she'd leave.
Finally, we were alone. Tex grabbed me before I had a chance to talk about those ground rules. He kissed that spot on my neck that drove me nuts and, when he kissed there, the whole concept of logical thought disappeared from my brain. His hands ran under my shirt, squeezing my boobs while he kept kissing my neck. I wanted to wrap my legs around him, right there.
Then I froze.
There was a face at the window. I was sure it was a face. Chills ran through me.
"What's up, Ruby Red?" he asked.
"Nothing, I thought I saw something at the window and wondered if Hannah had come back."
"I didn't hear a car," he said and kissed my neck again.
I hadn't either but I dragged him into the bedroom. No way was I hanging around the kitchen. I didn't like the prickling feeling of someone outside watching me.
Chapter 6
Denise
I chucked my phone across the room. Hopefully that would shut the bloody thing up. I couldn't answer it. Just like I couldn't answer it yesterday or the day before or any day this week. It would only be my supervisor ringing to see if I was coming to work. Since she was the one who'd told me not to come in unless I was capable of working, what was the point of talking to her?
I had to go back to work sometime or I wouldn't be able to pay rent this month. I considered it. I could give my landlord a sob story and ask for extra time to pay but my landlord had a heart of stone and would demand the money or kick me out. He wasn't the sort who worked within the law and he had goons.
Hell, I couldn’t even visit my lousy mother to get rent money since the last time I did that, she caught me with my hand in the cookie jar, the cookie jar where she kept her spare money. She said she wasn’t going to keep money in the house any more. It wasn’t like she needed it for anything important.
Anyway, maybe it’d be a bad idea to get evicted even if it was a shit box apartment. The place was one room with a tiny bathroom. The walls were covered in FORSAKEN posters that hid all the cracks and the bubbles in the yellowing beige paint work. I had a stove without a working oven and a wobbly table that held my computer. The blinds were down because the only view I had was of a graffiti-covered brick wall and an alleyway where late night partiers went to puke.
Every night I could hear the couple on one side alternate between fighting and having noisy sex. They hated me ever since I told the landlord they had a cat. I didn’t have a cat so why should they? On the other side, the Asian student was quiet but he cooked food that smelt so weird and wrong. And once the smell seeped into my apartment, it permeated everything. I told the landlord about that too but he didn’t do anything.
My clothes tumbled out of a fallen down wardrobe, the rest in a chest of drawers with only two drawers functional. That was my life. All broken and rotten, but it didn't matter. I didn't really live here. I lived in a world of my own creation. I'd go through my DVDs and decide which concert I wanted to watch and lose myself in my real life – the one with Tex O'Malley.
Now I didn’t even have that.
I'd barely been able to get out of bed since That Night. What was the point? Life was no longer worth living. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I'd have never believed it. Him with that woman. That whore. That evil bitch. Her there parading her body around and him obviously coming from the bedroom. Nothing else in this world could've hurt me like that. You could throw me face first into a fire or tie me on a rack and stretch my muscles out of their joints while giant rats gnawed at my flesh. That'd be a lark compared to the pain that woman had caused me. Who was she anyway? Some trumped up little harlot with a face like a ferret. I bet she even had a ginger minge.
The obvious solution was to destroy her – but how?
Two days ago, I'd actually worked up the strength to get out of bed. I had a secret hope blossom in my soul that she'd just been a random groupie he'd picked up.
She'd gotten lucky for the night then he'd kicked her to the curb without even asking her name. The guy was only human. He had needs. I couldn't fault him for that. Until he actually met me, he needed to have some kind of outlet. Hell, if you found out a 31-year-old guy was still a virgin, that'd be scarier than him having the occasional one night stand.
The woman looked like the same chick he’d been with at the festival but I hadn’t seen her up close then and maybe Tex just had a thing for skanky redheads. I could dye my hair red if that’s what he wanted.
So, I'd dressed in all black and put on a cap so I could sneak around in the dark and gather information. I'd paid them a visit. Secretly. Just to confirm that it was true. I parked my car down on the road and climbed up the hi
ll through the building site, thinking that the crunch of my footsteps on the gravel drive would alert them. On such a still night, the sound would carry.
I saw the glow of light from the studio window but didn't want to get too close. If I pressed my face up to the window, they might catch me. Although, if Tex was there alone, I could pretend to be lost and need directions. At first, I couldn't make out much in the dark then I found the washing line. It had her stuff all over it, like she was bragging. Look at my knickers hanging up here next to Tex's. The hate coursing through my body gave me a renewed strength and I crept closer.
I could see them through the studio window. Ick. They were getting all mushy. As I suspected, it was the same girl from the festival. How could he even stand to kiss her? I wanted to look away but couldn't take my eyes off them until she dragged him into the other room and I could no longer see a thing. I'd driven back home with tears in my eyes, not able to understand what had happened. What did he see in her?
Even then, I had to go back more than once, just to confirm things. And to do a bit of damage.
She was a witch using black magic to ensnare him. That was the only possible explanation. I needed to break that spell.
In every crisis of my life, every sorrow and every defeat, one thing brought me back from the brink. That was listening to FORSAKEN. Tex's voice was like a healing touch. Smooth and refreshing, it'd sweep away all my pain. What a betrayal. I couldn't even listen to him now or it'd start a fresh batch of tears. I didn't have his music to heal me. I just had hurt and pain. And sleep. That was the only time I could escape this agony.
The phone rang again. Smashing it into the wall obviously hadn't taught it a thing. I'd tell that supervisor to shove her job. I didn't want to work. I wanted to drown myself. Literally drown myself. What was the point of working and earning money.
I answered the phone but it wasn't my supervisor. It was Tony.
"Where's my car?"
"Huh?"
"My car. My pizza delivery car? You took it home the other night and you never came back."
Cry For You Page 4