Threads of Silk

by Grieve, Roberta

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Ellie opened the office door, shook the raindrops off her umbrella and hung it with her coat behind the door. She had hesitated with her hand on the doorknob, expecting to see Alex perched on the corner of her desk, swinging his leg and smiling that quizzical smile. But the room was empty.

  After a sleepless night wrestling with her conscience, she had come to a decision. But it was a relief to be able to put off telling Alex a little longer. Norah, of course, had been delighted. Marrying the boss had been every young girl’s dream in her day. But Ellie still wasn’t sure whether she was doing the right thing. True, she was fond of Alex and they shared common interests in the textile business. As his wife, she would continue to work at his side and, she was sure that together they would be a successful team. But was that enough?

  Unwittingly Ellie thought of her mother. Mary had married her first husband for love, but after his death, struggling to bring up a family alone, she had been tempted into a loveless match which had proved disastrous. Mary must have asked herself the same questions she was asking now, trying to persuade herself that affection and commitment were enough.

  Ellie took the cover off her typewriter and gave herself a mental shake. It wasn’t the same at all. Alex was good, kind, hard-working and Ellie knew he would try to make her happy.

  And she would make him happy – she would, she told herself. A little shiver ran across her shoulders and she thought someone had opened the door. She turned, but there was no one there. As she settled to work, she promised herself she wouldn’t put off telling Alex what she had decided. And there was something else she couldn’t put off either. She must confess her past. If this marriage was to work, there must be no secrets between them. Alex deserved total honesty.

  Norah smiled across the table at Trevor. He was looking very pleased with himself – as well he might, she thought. A new business and a new wife – both in one day. Well, not quite. They wouldn’t be able to get married until his divorce was final. But that shouldn’t take long, now that she’d persuaded Trevor to allow her name to be cited in the petition. He had tried to protect her from Gloria’s vindictiveness, never staying the night at the cottage and refusing to let her remain at the café after it was closed. After all, Gloria had left him and he didn’t see why he should be the guilty party in the divorce.

  But it had dragged on too long. Norah wanted it all settled – neither of them was getting any younger after all. And if it meant she had to bear the brunt of any scandal, she could put up with that. Trevor had needed quite a lot of persuading though, the dear old-fashioned man that he was.

  She touched his hand as he spread the papers across the table, the deeds and inventory of their new business.

  He smiled up at her. ‘Happy, love?’

  Norah nodded. She hadn’t been this happy for years, not since Bob had come home from the war, a shadow of his former self. That should have been a new beginning, but she had always had a queer feeling that it wasn’t meant to be. Now, after the years of loneliness she was being given a second chance.

  ‘You’re sure you’re gonna like Southwold? I mean, you’ve always lived in and around Chelmsford. It won’t be too much of a change will it?’ Trevor’s brown eyes gazed into hers anxiously.

  ‘I love it – I’ve always wanted to live by the seaside.’ Norah sighed with pleasure. She’d never dreamed it would really happen. Trev’s café was sold, she’d given notice to her landlord and by Christmas they’d be in their new home. She wasn’t going to wait until Trevor was free to marry before moving in with him. As far as their new neighbours were concerned they were already man and wife.

  The little cottage on the seafront near the pier was ideal for turning into a tearoom. And there was a spare room so that Julie could come and stay in the holidays if she wanted to. The planning permission for the tearooms was all settled and they would make a start on the work in the new year. By the time the summer visitors arrived in the picturesque little Suffolk town, they would be ready to open.

  And it would be no greasy-spoon café either – not like Trev’s Transport. They would serve good wholesome home-made food, Trevor’s pies and pasties and Norah’s cakes and scones. There’d be no opening at the crack of dawn either, or staying open all hours. They’d still have to work hard of course. But with Trevor at her side, Norah wouldn’t mind that.

  The only worry was Helen – Ellie as she now liked to be called. ‘Do you think she’ll be upset?’ she asked.

  ‘Why should she? She must have realized something was up.’

  ‘I’ve been afraid to say anything until it was all settled. I don’t know how I’m going to break it to her that she’ll have to find somewhere else to live.’

  Trevor put his arm round Norah. ‘She’ll be all right, love. Didn’t you say the boss had proposed to her?’

  ‘But suppose she turns him down.’

  ‘She’s not that daft,’ Trevor said with a laugh. ‘Besides, if she does, she can always come and live with us in Southwold.’

  Norah gave a little laugh. ‘She won’t want to do that. I can’t see her working in a café again now that she’s doing so well at Turner’s. She’ll be able afford a flat in Chelmsford.’ She sighed as she heard the click of the front gate and Ellie’s heels clicking on the stone path.

  Ellie hadn’t expected to see Norah back yet and had been so preoccupied with her own thoughts that she hadn’t noticed Trevor’s van parked on the grass outside.

  She’d been surprised when Norah told her Trevor was closing the café for the day and taking her to Southwold. They’d been there several times on Sundays throughout the summer, taking Ellie with them once or twice. It wasn’t like Trevor to take a day off in the week though, especially a wet autumn day like today.

  Now, her own news went right out of her head as she stopped just inside the door, looking from Norah to Trevor and waiting for one of them to speak. They both looked like naughty schoolkids caught out in some prank – part guilty, part excited.

  Ellie looked at Norah. ‘Go on, tell me,’ she said.

  ‘Trev’s bought a café in Southwold. We’ll be moving up there in a month or two.’

  Ellie squealed with pleasure and gave Norah an unrestrained hug, then turned to Trevor and hugged him too. He blushed a little and ran his hand through what remained of his hair. ‘Don’t know what she sees in a boring old codger like me,’ he said with an embarrassed grin.

  ‘I do,’ Ellie said warmly. ‘She’s a very lucky woman – and you’re a lucky man. And I hope you’ll both be happy in your new life.’

  Norah was looking worried. ‘But what about you, love. I feel awful – as if we’re turning you out on the street.’

  ‘You mustn’t feel that way,’ Ellie said sincerely. ‘Besides, I’ve got some news of my own. I’m getting married too.’

  ‘You said yes,’ Norah squealed.

  After that the evening got rather noisy. Norah got out the bottle of gin she kept for special occasions and they drank toast after toast. Norah and Trevor were so happy that Ellie was relieved they didn’t seem to notice she wasn’t celebrating quite as enthusiastically as her friends.

  Later, as she lay in bed listening to Trevor’s old van coughing its way down the lane, she wished she hadn’t blurted it out like that. She hadn’t even told Alex her decision. As she drifted into sleep she realized that marriage to Alex would solve the problem of where she would live. But was that a reason to accept his proposal?

  Alex was in the laboratory when Ellie arrived at work next day. But he came into the office seconds after she’d hung her coat up.

  ‘I heard you arrive. I don’t want to rush you, Ellie, but I need to know. Have you thought any more about…?’

  ‘Oh, Alex, please….’

  ‘I’m sorry.’ He shook his head. ‘There isn’t anyone else, is there?’

  ‘No, Alex. I would have said.’ Ellie felt herself flushing and gave a mental shake of her head. Stupid to hold on t
o dreams of Harry. It had been so long now, and besides, he probably had a couple of children by now.

  Alex sighed and turned away. ‘Better get on with some work then.’ He went back into the laboratory and Ellie sat down at her desk, trying hard to concentrate on the column of figures in front of her. She had intended to give Alex his answer today. She was fond of him and they worked well together. But now her mind was in turmoil again.

  She typed frantically for a few minutes, then muttered under her breath. Another mistake. She ripped the sheet of paper out of the machine and screwed it up just as Alex opened the door. He was holding a fabric sample, his expression grim.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, her own concerns temporarily forgotten.

  ‘Another failure, that’s what,’ he said, handing her the material.

  ‘This one looks OK. I don’t understand,’ she said.

  ‘Yes, I really thought we’d done it this time. But do you know how long it took, just to weave this small sample? It kept unravelling; we couldn’t seem to maintain the twist on the yarn.’

  Alex explained that they’d tried several different synthetic fibres, twisted with the raw silk in different weights but there was always something not quite right, whichever proportions they used.

  ‘We’ve tried just about everything,’ he said, pacing the floor.

  Ellie fingered the material, deep in thought. ‘I know this probably sounds silly,’ she said hesitantly. ‘Have you tried – no, I’m sure you would already have thought—’

  ‘What, what? Tell me. I’ll try anything once,’ Alex interrupted.

  ‘Well, let’s see if I’ve got this right. You make the synthetic yarn on Donald’s machine, adjusting the spinnerets to make different weights – deniers – right?’

  Alex nodded. ‘Go on.’

  ‘Then when you’ve got a length of yarn, you take a length of the raw silk and throw them together.’ Ellie paused. She wanted to put this in the right way, so that it made sense. ‘Have you tried mixing them up before you put them through Donald’s machine?’ She was watching Alex’s face, sure that he’d burst out laughing.

  But he didn’t laugh. He didn’t tell her she was a genius either.

  ‘No, no. Forget it. It’s a silly idea,’ she said, wishing she’d kept her mouth shut.

  But Alex’s thoughtful frown turned to a wide grin. He leapt up and threw open the door to the lab. ‘Donald, Don, listen. I think the fair Ellie’s cracked it for us.’ He turned round and blew her a kiss, his face red with excitement. Then he closed the door with a bang.

  Ellie couldn’t help being pleased that she might have been of some help. This was what she liked about Alex, his enthusiasm. She hoped the experiment turned out well. He deserved to be successful.

  The two men were hunched over the spinning machine, which broke down the chemicals and heated them to the right consistency before passing them through the spinnerets. They didn’t look up when Ellie put her head round the door to say she was going home. Alex continued to scribble notes in the little book that he carried everywhere, while Donald carefully dismantled the machine. As he worked he spoke in a low fast voice, explaining what he was doing and Alex nodded agreement.

  Neither of them seemed aware of her presence and Ellie couldn’t help thinking that, despite his seeming eagerness, marriage now seemed to be the last thing on his mind.

  ‘I’m off – goodnight,’ she said again in a louder voice.

  ‘’Night,’ they both said, without turning round.

  When she got home there was no sign of Norah but a note propped up by the teapot in the middle of the kitchen table said that she was staying at Trevor’s for the night. Ellie smiled but the smile was tinged with sadness. How she’d miss her friends when they left for their new life.

  She turned the wireless on for company and took her coat off. She didn’t feel like cooking supper just for herself. She looked round the cosy kitchen, suddenly realizing that it wasn’t cosy any more. Norah had already started sorting things out and packing for the move and, without the little ornaments and knick-knacks which usually crowded the windowsill and shelves, the room looked bare and unwelcoming.

  As she paced the room, she realized that, despite her interesting job and her growing pleasure in being able to use her artistic talents, she was really quite lonely. Yes, she had friends. She didn’t know how she would have got through these last years without Trevor and Norah’s love and support. And there were Jackie and the other girls at the mill, Fred and Donald – and Alex. What was she going to do about Alex?

  She sighed and got the bowl of eggs out of the pantry. As she beat them into a froth, there was a knock at the door. Alex stood there, a broad smile on his face. He swept her into his arms and swung her round. ‘You did it, Ellie – we did it.’

  ‘What?’ She struggled to free herself. ‘Alex, what’s got into you?’

  ‘The new thread – it worked.’

  ‘It wasn’t a stupid idea, then?’ She took his arm and led him into the cottage. ‘I was just cooking myself some supper. Come in and tell me all about it.’

  He followed her into the little parlour and sat down in Norah’s old armchair.

  ‘I’ll just go and finish off in the kitchen. You will join me? It’s only scrambled eggs.’ Ellie guessed that Alex hadn’t bothered to eat.

  She left him gazing into the fire and hurriedly prepared the meal. Instead of laying the kitchen table she brought the food into the parlour on a tray. Alex had closed his eyes but he sat up quickly as she put the tray down on a low table between them.

  ‘Sorry, I’m shattered. We’ve been working flat out on this,’ he said.

  ‘You must eat though.’ Ellie passed him a plate and a knife and fork. He began to devour the food and she looked on, amused. Between bites, he told her about the experiments. ‘Donald was still there when I left, working out the calculations for recalibrating the machine. And he’s got an idea of how we can break down the raw silk and mix it with the liquid chemical before extruding it through the nozzles on the spinneret.’ Alex stopped speaking and grinned at her. ‘It’s all down to you, Ellie.’

  She flushed with pleasure. ‘You would have got there in the end – I know you would.’

  ‘Well, there’s a lot of testing to do yet,’ Alex said. He put down his knife and fork and leaned across to put the plate on the tray. ‘That was delicious – a good cook too.’

  The flush on Ellie’s face deepened and she looked away. He stood up. ‘Perhaps I’d better go. It’s been a long day. I just wanted to thank you.’

  She didn’t try to stop him although she had enjoyed his company and dreaded the rest of the evening alone in the cottage.

  At the door he took her hand and drew her towards him. ‘We make a good team, Ellie. Have you thought any more…?’

  On impulse she leaned towards him. ‘Yes, Alex. I will marry you.’

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Ellie and Alex were married in the village church at Little Howe a month after his proposal. He hadn’t wanted to wait – the house was ready and Ellie herself would have had to leave Norah’s cottage by the end of January when she and Trevor moved to Southwold. By the time Ellie and Alex returned from their Italian honeymoon, they would be firmly settled in their new life, with only Rex, the old Alsatian dog, to remind them of Trev’s Transport Café.

  Everyone from Turner’s was invited to the reception in the village hall. Trevor gave Ellie away, with Jackie as bridesmaid and Don as best man. Norah looked on as proudly as any mother as Ellie floated down the aisle on Trevor’s arm, turning to smile gratefully at the woman who had indeed been a mother to her over the past few years.

  Ellie managed to swallow a sob as she thought of her own mother. Clinging to Alex’s arm, she managed to convince herself, for the moment at least, that she’d done the right thing. Her new life beckoned – the door was firmly closed on the old.

  She still hadn’t told Alex everything, her resolution draining away at
the horror of revealing the real reason why she’d run away from home, cutting herself off from her family. Alex had nodded understandingly when she told him of her sister’s involvement with the dubious nightclub owner and her fears that she would be drawn into that shadowy world. But when it came to putting into words the reality of Bert’s assaults on her body, she just couldn’t find the words, the remembered shame and fear choking in her throat. And she hadn’t mentioned Harry at all. Her feelings for him were still mixed up in her mind with the awful things her father had said to her on that dreadful night.

  So she had let Alex think she’d run away to escape being forced to work in her brother-in-law’s nightclub and he had reassured her that the past was irrelevant. He loved her and their future together was the only thing that mattered now.

  And, as Ellie had sat by his side at the reception in the village hall, responding to the teasing and laughter of their friends with a flushed and smiling face, looking round at the people she now thought of as her family, the future had indeed seemed rosy.

  How quickly things had changed – and how devastating the realization, when it was too late, of the terrible mistake she had made.

  Now, two years later, she was rapidly reaching her breaking-strain; like one of the threads being tested on the machine at the mill, she was stretched as far as she could go. She wasn’t sure whether she could go on much longer. She should be happy, she told herself, as she gazed round the elegant room, blinking as the sun struck prisms off the cut-crystal vase on its low table by the window and bounced across the polished wooden floor. She had a loving husband, a beautiful home, everything a girl could wish for. She even had her own little car bought with her own money, a pale-blue Morris Minor, tucked away in the garage. The evidence of her success in breaking away from the past was all around her. Nothing remained in her life to remind her of those earlier struggles. But she was beginning to realize it all meant nothing.