by Amber Lacie
"Matt and I were sitting at the table. I thought things were going great, besides the sudden surprise of him possibly moving away. He told me he loved me, Kayla. He told me he's always loved me. The focus on school and then his career, they were all for me. He was hoping to impress me, I guess. He wanted me to love him back. He said I was looking for love like I find in my books, and that maybe I was missing what was right in front of me." I'm crying so hard, I'm not even sure anyone can understand me. Kayla passes me some tissues and squeezes my hands. Theron has stopped twirling my hair. I'm not sure if he's shocked, or mad at me.
Wiping my tears away, I continue. "He said I was his person. He told me we each have one special person we were made to love. I was his. Then he leaned down and kissed me. I freaked out and I ran outside. I was leaning against the building and Matt came out to talk to me. The next thing I knew, he was arguing with some drunk. Matt told him to fuck off and pushed him. I tried to pull Matt away. He shrugged me off and I lost my balance. I don't know where he came from, but Theron caught me. I looked back at Matt, and I thought he was going to walk away. I thought he was going to go back inside, but then that fucking drunk lunged at him with a knife. I watched him fall. I watched the snow and slush around me turn red. I held his head in my lap. He looked right into my eyes, Kayla. He said, 'I love you, Eve. You, only you. You're my person.' I promised him I would love him forever if he opened his eyes. I fucking promised him and he died on me! It's all my fault. If I didn’t run off…he died because of me!"
I'm hysterical, hurt, and pissed off. I'm screaming out in pain. I have no idea what I am saying anymore.
Kayla is looking at me like she's scared out of her mind. She's sobbing and screaming for my parents. Theron slides onto the couch and holds me on his lap. He's trying to comfort me, but I just keep slapping his chest. I don't know how anyone is tolerating me right now and I don't care. I just want to die.
Robert comes rushing into the room, yelling at Theron to let go of me. He's screaming at him to leave. Kayla and my mom are screaming at Robert. Paul is just standing there in complete shock as my dad rushes to my side.
"Sweet pea, stop hurting him. He didn't do this to you. You need to stop." Grabbing my wrists in his hands, he pulls me towards him. I cry as my dad lifts me off Theron. "I'm going to put her to bed. Everyone is welcome to stay if they want, but the next person to make my sweet Evelyn cry like this, will answer to me. I don't know what you people did, but she's broken. You will let her be."
He carries me to my old bedroom, setting me on the bed. "Sweet pea, what happened in there? I know you are hurting right now and I wish I could take it all away for you, sweetie, I really do. That wasn't healthy, Evelyn. That wasn't my girl. Now I don't know this new guy of yours too well, but if he could take that kind of abuse from you without flinching, then I know he's a good man."
He tucks me in and I feel like I'm five years old again. It's a calming feeling. Sighing, he sits by me on the bed. "Evelyn, you have had it pretty easy. Nothing like this has happened to you before. You've never had to say goodbye to anyone, other than some goldfish over the years. I have always done my best to protect you, but I can't protect you from this. I'm so sorry, sweet pea."
"Daddy, I wish I could make this all go away. I wish I could bring him back."
"I know, sweet pea, I know…now as for the people we left in the other room, what would you like me to do? I can make them leave or I can send them to find you some ice cream. Whatever it is you need, I will make it happen."
"I'm okay. Some tea would be nice. Please, tell Robert to leave Theron alone, and could you send Kayla in here for just a moment? I promise not to freak out like I did."
"Sure thing." My dad walks out and leaves me to my thoughts. I need to get a better grip on things. I feel like I am sinking, and right now I am taking everyone else with me. I close my eyes just for a second and I feel my bed dip.
"I had no idea. None of this is your fault. I get why you left the bar. I would have too. That's a lot to spring on a person so suddenly. I kind of thought he had a thing for you, but neither one of you ever addressed it. I shrugged it off as me being nosy. If you don't want to go tomorrow, I'll understand."
Tears are sliding from my eyes into my hair. I don't have the energy to sit up. "Kayla, I love you. You have been my best friend since kindergarten. I just don't want you to hate me. Okay?"
"Never, Eve, never. Do you want me to sit here with you for a while?"
"No, I'll be alright. Go be with Paul. I'm sure he thinks I'm bat shit crazy."
Kayla lets out a little laugh. "You have now raised the bar for the level of crazy."
"God, you're such a bitch."
"And you love me for it. I'm going to go check on Paul." She leans over and places a kiss on my forehead. I'm so glad I have her.
"Hey, Kayla, before you go, could you ask Theron to come in here? I wouldn’t be surprised if he left after that. I just want to apologize for losing my shit."
Casting her eyes downward, she nods her head at me. I hope I didn't offend her by asking for him. I just want to breathe and for some reason he makes that happen.
I'm sitting up in bed when Theron walks in. Tears start to fall from my eyes before I say anything. He doesn't say a word. Holding a finger to his lips, he pulls me into his lap as he sits on my bed.
"Don’t say anything, just nod if we are in agreement, okay?"
I look up at him and nod. Laying my head against his chest, I breathe him in. He smells so incredibly good. He spins me in his lap and holds me tight to him. Not being able to get any closer I wrap my arms and legs around him. I'm clinging to him and I have never felt safer.
"Baby, what happened in there needed to happen. I don't want you to apologize for any of it. You are allowed to hurt. I want you to express it however you need to, as long as you don't get hurt worse in the process, okay?"
I nod my head the best I can without removing it from his neck.
"I don't know what this is between us. I felt it the instant I looked at you at the laundromat. I can't stay away from you, Eve. My body is completely drawn to you just like you are drawn to me." I nod again. This no talking thing is helping me stay calm. "Eventually, I need to go back home for a shower and change of clothes. You can come with me if you want. I understand if you want to stay here with your family and friends. The offer stands though, okay?" I nod my head again. He doesn’t say anything this time, so I look him in the eyes.
"I want to go with you. You help me breathe."
He closes his eyes and when he opens them, I swear they are brighter and more alive. He plants soft kisses along my mouth. I part my lips willing him to explore my mouth, but he kisses me softly and holds me tightly to him.
"Not here, babe. I won't disrespect your parents like that." He kisses the top of my head causing me to sigh and melt into him. I'm so very thankful he is here with me in this exact moment. "Your mom made some pasta for dinner. She said it's ready if you're hungry." I nod my head and Theron stands up as I slide down his front. I'm still amazed he can hold me up like I'm nothing.
"Theron?"
"What's wrong, babe?"
"Nothing, I just need to get my car eventually."
"Consider it done. I'll talk to Paul and see if he can grab it for us. Okay?" Nodding my head, he grabs my hand as we walk out of the bedroom to join everyone else for dinner.
Dinner was quiet. I'm not sure what anyone could have said to make it less awkward. I know I lost my shit. I feel overwhelmed and sick to my stomach. I barely ate. Theron must have known how uncomfortable I felt because halfway through dinner he put his hand on my thigh and I instantly calmed.
I help clean up dinner and I am standing next to the sink while my mom washes dishes.
"Sweetie, we need to talk." My mom gives me a knowing look. I knew this was going to happen. I don’t want to talk about my meltdown. I'd rather not talk at all. "I'm not sure what happened today, but I know it's a direct result of what happe
ned last night. I know you are hurting. It's going to get worse before it gets better. I offered to let Kayla stay here, but she said she'd rather stay with Paul. I want to offer you the same. You can stay here if you need to. I don't want you to be alone right now. I'll help you as best as I can." She's wringing the dishtowel in her hands. I love my mom. She always knows what to say. Sighing I pull out two chairs at the table for us. She makes us each a glass of tea and sits down next to me.
"Mom, I love you. I'm sorry I lost my shit. This is all really fucked up and I broke."
"Evelyn, I know you have a better vocabulary than that. Choose your words better." My mom hates when we use foul language. I think I've only heard her curse a couple of times in my life.
"Sorry, mom." Taking a big breath, I puff my cheeks out as I release it. How do I explain the last twenty-four hours? I'm not ready to talk about Matt's conversation with me again. It broke me and I'm not sure I have recovered enough to survive retelling it.
"Mom, I just broke. I can't explain it. I can hardly breathe. I feel so heavy, like I'm being crushed. I've let Kayla down and I shouldn't have behaved that way. I don't know how to handle this." My mom just nods her head at me. She waits for me to keep going, but I'm not sure what else to say.
"Sweetie, what is Theron?"
"Um, he's Theron. He lives with his grandma. He's helping take care of her after she had a heart attack." I give a brief rundown of Theron, barely brushing over any details. I'm not sure what she would think of his upbringing and his grandmother's estate.
"No, Evelyn. I asked what he is, not who he is. I'm not blind. He's incredibly gorgeous. I'm assuming from his mannerisms and the way he looks at you that he's capable of taking care of you, or at least he wants to. What is he to you? Kayla said you only just met. She seemed shocked that he drove you to the hospital. Robert had no clue who he was either. I know you guys talk enough for him to know if you had a boyfriend. So, my question is, what is he? Is he your boyfriend? I want to make sure he's not taking advantage of you." Taking a sip of her tea, she gently set her cup down on the table. She's staring straight at me. I knew eventually she was going to ask about him, but I was hoping it wouldn’t be today. I twist my hands in my lap and look up at my mom. How do I explain Theron?
"I can't explain it, Mom. He came into the laundromat and I was instantly drawn to him. I mean, sure he's good looking, but when his hand brushed mine it felt like electricity coursed through my body. I don't know how he ended up at the bar last night. I was standing outside and I could feel goosebumps crawl up my body. I lost my balance and he caught me. My body is so drawn to him. I'm like a moth to a flame." Shaking my head to clear my thoughts, I look at my mom and she's smiling back at me.
"I met your dad when I was fifteen. He was working at the hardware store in town. He was seventeen at the time and a senior. The rumor around town was he was a bad boy. He was always in trouble. My mom was picking out new wallpaper for her bedroom, when I saw him. He took my breath away. I couldn't explain it at the time, but if he would have asked me to run away with him right that second…I would've. He asked me out on dates a couple times, but my dad always told him no. He told him he needed to be able to take care of me. Working at a hardware store part-time didn't pay well. Your father got a job working at a garage. At first, he was basically responsible for keeping it clean, but the old man who ran the garage took a liking to your dad. He taught your dad everything he knows. After a couple of months, your father was working full time and pulling in a decent paycheck. He asked me to accompany him to a movie. I was permitted to go. It was the best night of my life. Your dad was such a gentleman."
Smiling wistfully, she takes another sip of her tea. "My heart was beating so hard in my chest I'm sure he could have heard it. That night when he dropped me off at home he kissed me. My whole body felt like it was on fire. We were inseparable after that. Once I finished high school, we got married. Your father ended up taking over the garage and eventually we had your brother. I've never said anything before because I know it doesn't happen for everyone. But, Evelyn, I've had fireworks. I still have them. If Theron is your fireworks, go for it. Just please be careful. Fireworks are beautiful, but they can burn you."
I always knew my parents loved each other, but to hear my mom describe it is something else.
“So…about my invitation, it's still open if you want it."
"Um, Theron offered to take me to get some fresh clothes and stuff. I'm not sure where I am going to stay tonight. I'm glad to know, if I need to, I can stay here." She pats my shoulder as she stands to finish the dishes. I sit there for a few more moments before I feel my skin prickle. I know he's behind me. It's not just the goosebumps on my forearms giving him away, but my chest instantly feels lighter. My lungs cool and expand. I can breathe easier.
"It's getting late, beautiful. Would you like to pick up some more clothes or whatever you need? I can run in the apartment if you don’t want to." Turning to look over my shoulder, I give him a soft smile. I'm becoming very addicted to him. I just hope I don't get burned.
After reassuring Kayla that this is what I want, I hand my car keys over to Paul. He's going to drop it off at my parents for me. Theron is waiting patiently for me as I say my goodbyes. Robert won’t look me in the eye, but I don’t care. He will just have to adjust.
We arrive at the apartment and I rattle off a short list to Theron. I need clothes to sleep in and clothes for tomorrow. I also ask him to grab some of my bath stuff. He comes back with my rolling luggage packed and a bag slung over his shoulder.
"I'm not sure what you wanted to wear, babe. I put everything I could fit into this luggage I found in your closet. I grabbed some black dress pants and shoes to match. I thought you might need them." A tear slides down my cheek and I wipe it away. This amazing guy has been thrown into my life by such horrific circumstances and he thinks to grab my shoes. "Beautiful, please don't cry. Is there something else you need?" I shake my head at him. I won't be able to talk without crying. "I put a piece of tape under the number six on your door. I wasn't sure I had the right apartment last night, but the key worked. I figured the number had just spun."
"I was supposed to fix that. I kept forgetting. Thank you."
"No problem, babe. It was just tape." He puts my luggage in the back seat and he closes the door. Sliding into his seat, he places his hand on my thigh before starting the car. "Are you ready, beautiful?" Nodding my head, I mumble another thanks. I hope he knows it’s for more than just grabbing me some clothes.
It takes about half an hour to get back to his place. I'm not sure what to call it. Technically, it's his grandma's home, but it's separate. I'm lost in thought when Theron opens my door.
"Are you coming in?" I nod my head again and he helps me out of the car. Slinging my purse over my shoulder, I grip tightly to my body as I walk into the guesthouse. Theron follows with my luggage. "I’m going to put these in the spare bedroom for now, but that doesn't mean it's where I want you to sleep. I don’t want to be away from you, but my closet isn't that big. The spare bedroom is empty, so you should have plenty of room for whatever you'll need in there." He sets down my luggage, giving me a soft smile as he leaves the room.
I'm not going to question the sleeping arrangements. I follow Theron into the spare bedroom. I shed my clothes and bra, changing into a t-shirt he packed for me. I opt for no bottoms. I need to feel his skin on mine. I can only hope he feels the same.
When I walk into Theron's room, he is already in bed. The covers are pulled up to his waist. He's shirtless and I'm hoping he is sans bottoms. I set my phone on the nightstand by the bed. Slipping into bed, I pull the covers over me. I'm nervous, tired, and excited all at the same time. I roll over to face away from Theron as I feel guilt creep up on me. I try to push it away, but I'm not good at handling so many emotions at once.
"Beautiful, why are you way over there?"
I don't answer him, but I feel him scoot closer to me. Wrapping an arm around my w
aist, he pulls me to him. My body fits perfectly to his. His breath on my neck is comforting, even though it's spreading a tingling sensation through my body. All my tension and confusion melts away when I'm near him. Sighing, I push back into him. He kisses my neck and I giggle.
"Now, that is a very sweet sound. I know you are a wreck right now. I don't want to push you to do anything you don't want to do. Whatever it is you want or need, tell me and I'll do my best to fulfill them. Okay?"
Taking a deep breath, I wipe my tears away. My eyes are raw and my cheeks are starting to sting. I wish I could stop the tears from coming.
"Eve, are you alright? Tell me what to do. I've never done anything like this before. I mean I've dated, but somehow the girls would either know or find out I come from money. All they could see when they looked at me was dollar signs. I've never had to comfort someone either. When my mom passed, I looked to others for comfort. My Gram helped me the best she could. My dad was useless. He told me to handle things like a man, and pushed me away. I want you to feel safe with me. I want to help you through this hell. I just don't know how to do it. What can I do?"
I roll over to face him. His eyes are just so amazing. I know this is rushed from everything that has happened. Does it matter right now, though? No, it doesn't.
"I just want to breathe, Theron." I don't tell him my thoughts, because I'm sure he would run. I would run if someone I just met needed me this much. His eyes seem to search my face for permission before he gently placed a soft kiss on my lips. I part my lips wanting more. His tongue softly caresses mine. It's not rushed or hurried. It's soft, gentle, and sweet. His hands are softly caressing my face and my fingers are running through his hair. Our kiss slows and he pulls back to look at me.