by Amber Lacie
I don’t say anything else, even if I did, I’m not sure it would make any difference. After everything that has happened, I’d prefer Evan to be close by. I find it kind of comforting.
Kelly and Theron help me with my shower and get me ready for my appointment. I still can’t shake the awful feeling that I had yesterday, but I chalk it up to nerves.
Everything went well at my appointment. The doctor is surprised at how well I am healing. I am fitted with a different cast. I can put weight on my foot now, just not a lot. I will still need crutches, but at least now, I will be able to make it to the bathroom without having to call for help.
Gray clouds now cover the blue sky and rain begins to fall around us, as Theron helps me back into Badass. It is still the best name that I have ever given anything, and this car fully lives up to its name.
I watch the windshield wipers flick away the rain, as we drive home. Evan isn’t too far behind us. We end up losing him at an intersection, but Theron doesn’t slow to wait for him. The rain has turned into a deluge now, and visibility on the road is almost gone. I suggest pulling over to wait for it to let up, but it seems that just my words alone have caused a break in the clouds. The rain eases up, just as we pull into the driveway.
That awful feeling is back, accompanied with my arm and neck hair standing on end. I place my hand on Theron’s thigh, as we enter the gates. Something is off, normally the gates make a grinding sound when they first open, but they were oddly quiet. In fact, I am not sure they were entirely closed. I look over at Theron, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
We pull up in front of the house, and Theron parks as close as he can to the curb of the walkway, so that I won’t have far to go in the rain.
Everything happens as if it is in slow motion. Theron steps out of the car, and I watch him walk around to my side to open my door. His hand pulls on the handle. He stops still, when a figure comes out from behind one of the trees. My heart is slamming in my chest, and my lungs burn. It is then that I realize that I am holding my breath.
I try to push my door to open it, but Theron won’t move. He stands in front of it, holding it closed with his body leaning up against the car. The figure slowly walks around to the front of the car. As the rain comes to a stop, my vision clears to see the man standing in front of us. Thomas.
“No, no, no. It can’t be him. Theron! Theron!” I slam my palms against the window, but Theron still won’t move. Thomas is holding something in his hands. It’s black and fits comfortably in his hand. It’s a gun.
“Fuck! Theron! No! No!” I am screaming, as if my voice is going to save the two of us from the deranged man in front of us.
Thomas is screaming at Theron, but I can’t understand all of it, it is too muffled from inside the car. Theron isn’t buying whatever it is that Thomas is throwing at him. I can hear him perfectly outside my window.
“Just go. What the fuck do you think you’re going to accomplish here today? Waving around that fucking shit in your hand doesn’t make you a man. I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be. You are nothing but a piece of fucking shit. I’ve taken your business. Your name has been run through the mud, nothing is left of you, but the trash that you are. Get the fuck away from us!”
“Theron! God damn it!” I desperately need out of here.
Taking my shoulder, I ram it into the door, while pulling on the handle. It barely budges. Theron’s fist pounds into the side of the door. I am not giving up.
Thomas’ right arm rises into the air at the same exact time that I hear tires screech outside my window. It is enough of a distraction for Thomas to lower his arm, turning away from us. Suddenly, Theron yanks open my door, quickly pulling me from the car, and setting me on the ground behind the car.
“Beautiful, stay down. Fuck. Whatever you do, please stay down. Jesus.”
“I’m not done with you, boy!” Thomas’ feet crunch on the gravel beneath his shoes. Theron stands, turning away from me. He leaves me alone behind the car.
I can see Thomas’ feet get closer, so I try my best to scoot myself around to the driver side of the car. That is when I see Evan. It was his tires I heard screech. His arms are raised, as he makes his way around his car. His eyes never leave Thomas, as his finger rests on the trigger of the pistol in his hand.
“Put down the gun!” Evan yells towards Thomas. Most people would probably cower from a gun pointed directly at them, especially when it is common knowledge that the man holding the gun is a trained marksman.
My skin crawls when Thomas releases an eerie laugh.
“Do it. Pull the trigger, and I’ll pull mine. Who should I shoot first? The bastard child who ruined my life, killing my reason for existence, or the whore cowering behind a car, as if it’s going to save her, or the bastard child she’s carrying?”
“Put down the gun! I will not say it again. This is your last chance to comply.” Evan’s feet spread to the width of his shoulders, his back straightens, but his aim never changes.
“Comply? Comply? I will never fucking agree to anything you have to offer me. He ruined my fucking life. He’s a murderer! He killed his own mother, and here you are protecting him.”
“I. Did. Not. Kill. My. Mother.”
“Sure you did, son. The moment your waste of a body came out of her, she started dying. You took her strength, leaving behind a weak woman to take care of a child who wanted nothing more than to destroy our lives since it’s very first breath.”
“Fuck you!” I am unable to sit here any longer, listening to this man blame Theron for all his hate. “Fuck you. You are nothing, but a worthless piece of shit. You are nothing. You have nothing, but that’s too much for you, isn’t it? Your dick is even smaller than your intelligence. Both are almost nonexistent, and now you’re angry with the world. You’re trying to overcompensate for what you will never have.”
“And what’s that? What could you possibly know? You’re nothing but a gold-digging whore.”
“I know what it’s like to love, and you will never know the joy of having someone to experience that with. She was afraid of you, she never loved you.” Gravel crunches, and I know that he is coming for me.
“Drop the fucking gun!” Evan screams at Thomas, as he comes around the front of the car. He trips over his own feet. Either that, or karma is truly a bitch because his body twists as he holds me in his aim. Thomas turns his head to Evan.
Someone screams my name, and I hear two simultaneous clicks.
I am told that if someone experiences something so horrific, they can block it out. It is as if your brain is trying to protect you, keeping you from living in the hellish reality surrounding you.
Everything blurs around me, and I feel hands pulling me from the ground. A voice looms around me, trying to pull me back to reality, but I can’t get rid of the loud ringing in my ears. Then it hits me. Two clicks.
I frantically pull at the hands trying to carry me away. I am desperate to see what has happened. Where is Evan? Why can’t I see Evan? Someone is screaming, crying. I can’t hear over the noise. It is so loud that I can feel it rumble in my chest. Fuck. It is me and I am the one frantically screaming. Why isn’t anyone listening to me? I can’t lose anyone else. I can’t do this again.
“Evelyn!”
My name registers somewhere in my consciousness. Turning, I find the face that belongs to the voice.
Theron is kneeling beside me on the steps, trying his best to calm me. Our eyes meet, my heart thumps in my chest, and I know. I know someone is dead.
“Beautiful, stop. It’s over. It’s all over. The police and an ambulance are on their way over.” He pulls me into his lap, rocking me back and forth. “It’s over. It’s all over.” He clings to me.
I am not sure if his words are for me, or more for him. No words escape me. I can’t even begin to put together everything that has unleashed here today. I am not sure if God exists, but I know with everything in my being that the devil does, and he was here tonight.
Words are spoken, but in low, hushed tones. All I hear is, “He didn’t make it.”
My heart drops, and tears sting my already hot cheeks, as anger boils beneath my skin. I watch as the paramedics push someone into the back of the ambulance, but I can’t quite make out as to who. Theron won’t let go of me. I honestly believe that he is panicking. We are still rocking back and forth when someone walks over, asking if we are all right.
He briefly lets go of me, so that they can look me over to make sure that I am all right. He pulls me back into his arms when he is satisfied with their assumption of my wellbeing.
I wrap my arms around him, and he buries his head in my neck. I am not prepared for his next words. They catch me off guard, stabbing me through my heart in one swift motion.
“He’s dead.”
My eyes scan the chaos of lights and people moving around us. I still can’t find Evan. The ambulance pulls away and that is when I notice the black shoes lying so still on the ground. This can’t be real.
Someone covers the figure with a blanket. I close my eyes and bury myself into the man holding so desperately onto me. My awful feeling has come to fruition, and I can’t help but wonder if I am not to blame. If I hadn’t spoken up, what would have been the outcome?
Theron stands and carries me back to the car.
Where are we going? Maybe he just needs to get away, and perhaps this has finally all been too much for him. I don’t ask him what his intentions are, I just accept them. It doesn’t matter where we are going, as long as I am with him nothing else matters.
Tears blur my vision, as I watch the trees pass by outside the window. Nothing has ever happened to me. I have never had any huge surprises, catastrophes, or excitement of any kind until these past couple of months. It is odd how quickly things can change.
Eve
I am sitting in a hard vinyl chair. My right knee is pulled up to my chest with my arms wrapped tightly around my waist. Theron keeps trying to get me to eat, but I can’t. Hot and clammy sweats keep taking over my body, and panic is hiding just below the surface, waiting to claim me.
I watch him pacing back and forth before sitting in the chair across from me, then standing to do it all again.
I wonder who is more broken. Is it me, Theron, or the man lying beside me in a hospital bed? All of us are shattered into to so many pieces that I wonder if someone could even possess enough glue to make one whole person out of us.
Theron hasn’t slept in two days. He is insistent on staying at the hospital. I can’t blame him, if it was Kayla, I would never leave her side. The doctors were able to remove the bullet with minimal damage. It turns out that Evan has great aim, but Thomas didn’t. He moved at the last second and aimed his gun at Evan. The bullet hit its victim, but it was the left shoulder that took the bullet. Evan had a clear shot. His bullet didn’t miss its target, and it slipped through Thomas just above the bridge of his nose, killing him instantly. We are hoping that Evan will be released tomorrow if he wakes up, otherwise it may be a few more days yet.
Bridgette has shown up twice at the hospital now, demanding to see Theron. I had her removed by security. I will deal with that crazy psycho once we are back at home. One panic attack at a time seems to be easier to handle.
My mom is here with me, and she keeps bringing me hot tea to sip. She has tried to mother Theron as well, but he is so unfamiliar with being taken care of, that he just gives her looks of confusion when she tries to comfort him.
My heart breaks knowing his confusion is all because his father. The man that was supposed to love him and raise him, but instead held Theron accountable for the death of his mother and the destruction of the world Thomas was so clearly accustomed to. I can’t fathom how someone could hate their own child. I don’t think that my mind will ever be able to wrap around it. Perhaps, it is because all I have known in my life is the love of my family and friends. Never have I ever been so grateful for everyone in my life, especially Theron. Even if he doesn’t see it all the time…he is my everything.
“Hey girl, are you planning on staying here all day again?”
I turn to see Kayla peeking in through the door. Her tight blonde curls are piled on the top of her head in a crazy mass. For some reason, I find this to be absolutely hilarious. I am not sure if it is from the lack of sleep, or if I have gone mad. It is probably both.
A giggle escapes me, catching both Kayla and Theron off guard. Their expressions of shock, only add to the hilarity I am finding in this situation. Doing my best to stifle my laughter, I bury my face against my knee. What ensues after is not a sound most humans make. I am laughing silently, my face growing hotter from the breath that I am holding. I breathe in while a laugh-like sound escapes me. I sound like a braying donkey.
“What the hell was that?” I look to Theron, but he shakes his head, letting me know that it wasn’t him asking.
“Jesus Christ, you sound like a fucking mule being murdered.” Kayla is now laughing with me.
I try to catch my breath, but I am failing epically. The sound escapes me again, this time followed by a snort. White little spots appear outside the corner of my eyes. If I don’t calm down, I am going to faint from not breathing.
“What the hell was that? Did you just fucking snort?” The voice is groggy, cracking as it questions the horrible sounds coming from my mouth.
“She did, Evan. She fucking brayed like a damn donkey and now the crazy cow is snorting. Jesus, Theron get your woman under control. We are in a hospital of all places.” At the sound of Kayla’s words, I pull my shirt just over my head and breathe deeply. I am now hiding like a turtle inside its shell.
“I can’t control that. I’ve tried and it only gets worse. Last time she fell out of the chair she was sitting in. I am not risking it. Just let her calm down. As for you, how are you feeling?”
“Like shit. God damn, my shoulder is on fire. What happened?” Evan’s voice is rough, but it brings me back from the psychotic break that I was starting to edge over.
“Thomas shot you. Evan, you saved us.” It is my voice that answers him. It is soft and muffled from inside my shirt, but I know that he hears me because of his sharp intake of breath. I peek out from my hiding place, not making eye contact with anyone. Laughing now would be completely rude to the gravity of the situation we now find ourselves.
“Have you regained your sanity now?”
“Yes, mother.” I scrunch my nose up at Kayla. She is so bossy sometimes.
“Ladies, although your concern for me is more than I could have asked for, could you let me talk to my man for just a minute?”
I am a little put off by Evan’s request, but I comply. He is Theron’s right hand man. I am sure there are things they need to discuss.
I follow Kayla out of the room and down the hall. She stops in front of the Family Waiting Room. My eyes focus on the door. I have encountered so much loss in that room. Seeing my hesitation, she follows me, as I continue to walk through the ending hallways, making my way to a bench outside the main doors.
It is almost two o’clock, the sun is shining brightly, high in the sky. Yesterday was unbearably hot and humid, while today has a slight chill to the air. Mother Nature is such a tease. Once you get comfortable accepting the idea of one season, she changes her mind, just to mix things up a bit.
Kayla sits beside me, neither of us say a word. It is not that we need to, there is just no reason to fill the silence. I take comfort in the little warmth the sun is offering, the birds singing in the trees, and the knowledge that no matter what is in store for all of us in the future, we will face it together.
A yawn escapes me as I lay my head on Kayla’s shoulder. “I’m suddenly very tired and very hungry.”
“That’s probably because you’ve finally le
t go of the stress that you’ve been carrying around for way too long. Why don’t you let me take you home? I can help you get everything ready for everyone to finally come home. We can order pizza, rock out to some Pandora, and just let everything go. A stress-free night.”
“Is that a good idea? I mean, what will they think of me just leaving them here? I should be with them.”
“You were. Now you need a break. You need to take care of yourself too.”
“I know.”
“Then it’s settled. Stay here, you don’t need to gimp around so much. I’ll get Theron.”
She kisses the top of my head and heads back inside with a little bounce in her step. As I sit outside waiting for them, I can’t help but take notice of the elderly couple walking out of the building and into the parking lot. He is using his cane to help support both of them. She has both of her arms wrapped around his free arm, and their steps are short but balanced. You can see the concentration on his face, as he makes sure that his wife is safely following him. A soft, sweet smile is on her face. She has complete faith in him.
I wonder what it will be like when Theron and I are older. Will we still love each other as desperately and passionately as we do now? I believe that we will, and I hope that it is so much more.
“I hear my beautiful girl wishes to go home and put her leg up.” Looking at Theron, tears well up in my eyes. Grasping my face with his palm, he wipes away the stray tear that has escaped and is now rolling down my cheek. “Hey, what’s this for?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, but why the tears?”
“It’s just because I love you so much.”
He leans in, and ever so softly, places a kiss gently on my lips. It is just a feather of a kiss, but it resonates throughout my entire body. Electricity courses through my veins, searing the fireworks from his touch to memory.