“And if I don’t want it?” she asked, a little breathless.
“Then we’ll know, and we can all still be friends. If you come to us, it will be freely and because it’s what you want. If you leave us, we’ll understand.”
“And if I like it, then what?”
“Then I promise you, you’ll experience the best sex of your life. You’ll also learn what it means to be a submissive and to freely give another control of your body and mind. I’m a Dominant, as are my brothers, but what we want from you will only be what you’re willing to give. Just thinking of you totally and completely giving yourself to us makes me happier than I can tell you. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you, and my brothers can’t think of anything but how badly they want to make you ours.”
“You make it sound so easy, but this is all so new for me. I know being submissive may be my nature, but it’s not something I’ve ever embraced. I don’t know if I can.”
Nick stood up suddenly. “That’s what we need to find out, and the only way to do that is for you to be exposed to our lifestyle. Come to the house at nine on Saturday night. We’ll be waiting for you.”
* * * *
Brianna watched as Nick walked to the front door and left her without a backward glance. She knew he wanted her, and he had struggled with himself not to take her right there on the sofa. However, he had a plan, and he was going to wait until Saturday before he or his brothers gave in to their desires. She was wet and needy. By the time Saturday arrived, she would be nothing more than a mass of sexual nerve endings that were screaming for release. Nick and his brothers would only have to glance her way, and she would be ready to do whatever they wanted. She was sure that was the plan. She only wished that Saturday was tomorrow.
She needed a cold shower, but if she took one, she would miss her meeting. Instead she went to the bathroom and sponged herself down quickly.
When she arrived at the meeting, it had already started. She slipped quietly into a seat in the back of the room. There were a good number of people there, more than usual. She was listening to an older woman speak when she felt eyes on her. She looked over her shoulder and gasped when she realized Malcolm’s wife was staring at her.
Chapter Seven
It took all of Brianna’s willpower to not just up and run. Seeing Malcom’s wife after all this time brought back memories that Brianna had worked very hard to put behind her. Now they were all back, and the self-loathing she had felt for herself was back too. Taking a few deep breaths, she turned and forced herself to listen to the speaker. She had heard him speak before, and although he was somewhat dry, his message was clear: sobriety was the only way to maintain control of their lives.
Brianna had known once she had detoxed from the pills, she would never take them again. It hadn’t been just the pills that had held her to Malcolm…It had been her need not to face her father’s death and the part she felt she had played in it. The pills had made her weaker and more pliable, but it was Malcom in her life that had consumed her and made him all she thought about. It was only when she went to therapy that she began to understand why she had allowed herself to become someone she had ended up hating. She had wanted to punish herself. Was that what she was doing with Nick and his brothers? Did she want their punishment because she thought she deserved it? Would they become what Malcolm had been to her? Was she really not past that time in her life?
She looked around and realized that people were getting up from their chairs. The meeting was over. She wished she could just disappear because she knew Malcolm’s wife wouldn’t just let her escape without saying something. The woman’s stare had been intense. Steeling herself, she walked over to the coffee pot. She had just poured herself a cup of the hot liquid into a Styrofoam cup when she felt someone beside her. She turned and looked into the face of the woman she had hoped to never see again.
“Hello, Brianna. How are you?”
“Miranda,” Brianna began with a sigh, “what are you doing here?”
“I imagine the same thing you are, although I had no idea I would see you here. When Malcolm told me you left him, he was quite devastated. I think that’s when I knew I had to leave him too. I couldn’t do it anymore.”
“You knew all about what he did with other women?”
“I knew he had affairs. I thought I was okay with them, until he fell for you. Part of the game he loved so much was making sure I found out and having me confront his latest conquest. I knew when I confronted you that you had no idea he was married and that you were nothing like the other women. The look on your face made me ashamed of not only him but myself. I guess I woke up and realized that all the self-medicating in the world wasn’t going to make my life right. I left him soon after you did.”
“Good. I’m glad you found the strength to do it. It took a lot for me to leave him and begin again. It was the best thing I ever did.”
Miranda put her hand on Brianna’s arm before she said, “I’m sorry for all the pain he caused you and for not leaving him sooner. Maybe if I had, he would have changed his ways.”
“You can’t blame yourself for what happened to me. I’m better now, much better. I hope you are too.”
“I think fate brought me to this meeting tonight.” She smiled somewhat warily. “I’ve moved to Oregon, to where my family has a home. I like it there. I just came back to tie up some loose ends, and I felt the need to go to a meeting. I found this one on the Internet and just took a chance and came. I’m glad I did. I’ve always wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for the way I treated you. I verbally took out all my frustrations on you when you were an innocent. I knew you were crushed. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. But like I said, it’s not your fault, and I don’t blame you for anything. Part of our recovery is taking responsibility for our own actions. But thank you. It means a lot to me to talk to you like this. Knowing that you knew Malcolm for who he was, and that you don’t hate me, means a lot to me.”
“I never hated you, Brianna. I hated myself.”
They talked for a couple more minutes before they walked out of the meeting together. With a final look in her car’s rearview mirror, Brianna watched Miranda pull out of the parking lot. She felt good that they had resolved their issues, and yet, she knew she had to be sure that she wasn’t falling back into her old ways. It wasn’t the painkillers that she was afraid of, but her need for Nick and his brothers. Did her desire for them stem from some inner psychosis that had nothing to do with wanting them but had everything to do with wanting to punish herself?
Wiping away the tears that had suddenly dampened her cheeks, she drove home. How could she go to the party if she were going for all the wrong reasons? She needed to talk to someone. Tomorrow, she promised herself, she would call her counselor. She knew that Annie might tell her not to go to the party. If she did, then she wouldn’t go. She felt her heart drop. Until this moment, she hadn’t realized just how much going to the party with Nick, Toby, and Teddy had meant to her. She wanted them and the chance to find out if their world was hers too.
* * * *
Brianna slipped a tight black dress over her head and pulled it down to cover her curves. She turned toward the mirror and smiled, no underwear needed for this dress. She liked the way it hugged her figure, and she was sure the three men she was dressing for would like it too. She pulled her hair back in a high ponytail and secured it with a gold clip. Her makeup was next. She applied it with care, with special attention to her eyes, which she enlarged with a sooty-brown eye shadow that matched her eyes. She didn’t need much mascara since her eyelashes were so long. She liked the way she looked, with her bloodred lipstick and big-eye effect that she knew would capture a man’s attention. She felt sexy as she slipped into a pair of spiked black heels that showed off her long legs in her short, tight dress.
If her counselor, Annie, could see her, she wouldn’t know her. No one would. She reminded herself a little of the way she had looked when she was with Mal
colm, but that wasn’t who she was now, and with Annie’s help, she had come to realize that woman no longer existed. She knew she wasn’t responsible for her father’s death. He had lost control and could have killed them both. She forgave him, and that was what had ended up setting her free. Seeing Miranda again had been the catalyst for that revelation.
She had thought Annie would be appalled when she told her about her sexual desires with the three men who also happened to be her landlords. Instead, Annie asked her questions that were slightly embarrassing but forced her to look deeper into herself about what it was she really wanted.
Annie admitted she had been searching for a way for Brianna to open up more and discuss her father’s death, as well as Malcolm’s manipulation, without immediately making herself out to be at fault. She had wanted Brianna to face the men in her life, and if Miranda’s appearance had helped her to do that, she felt that maybe it had been divine intervention that had led Miranda to that particular meeting on that particular night.
Whatever it was, Annie pushed Brianna harder than she ever had in any session, and although it had been hours later before Brianna felt a breakthrough she hadn’t even realized she needed, she finally had to admit that she felt better than she could ever remember. Annie had tears in her eyes as they had hugged.
“Oh, Annie, thank you.”
“Sometimes everything comes together the way it’s supposed to. And when it does, it’s awesome to see the results. Nick, Toby, and Teddy…they are all part of your self-discovery. You need to finally be open to the woman you are and not be afraid of your past. Even if it doesn’t work out with them, you know what it is you want—what you’ve always wanted—in a relationship. That’s what’s important. And you also know that the painkillers were never really your problem. They were simply masking the emotional damage that you were drowning in. You knew this, but until now, you didn’t really believe it.”
Brianna smiled as she remembered Annie’s words. She did believe it now. She knew that Malcolm and his painkillers had been a quick fix to help her forget what had been too painful to confront. However, now she knew that regardless of what happened tonight, she would be okay. She wanted to find out if she were submissive sexually and if being with more than one man was what she needed. She needed to be true to herself. She was scared and excited all at the same time.
She had told Nick that she would walk over to the party. She shut her front door and began to traverse the lawn in her heels. Somehow she managed to stay upright and was grateful when she felt the cement that surrounded the pool under her feet. She could hear music from inside. She was deciding whether to walk through the French doors or go around to the front of the house when she saw Toby walk around from the side of the house.
“Toby?”
“Brianna. You look beautiful. I’m so glad you came.”
“Did you think I was going to change my mind?”
“The thought did occur to me, a few times. Nick and Teddy were worried too. We know this is a big step for you.”
“It is, but one that I want to take. I need to find out.”
“We’re honored that you want to find out with us. We want this to work, but we also want you to know that you are free to leave at any time.”
“I know. Nick told me. If I do need to leave, I’ll tell you.”
“Good. Now, take my hand, and we’ll find Nick and Teddy.”
She took his hand, and to her surprise, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her full on the lips. She felt her mouth open as his tongue caressed her lips. She moaned into his mouth as the kiss deepened. She felt her nipples harden and pussy begin to ache. This attraction she felt for him and his brothers was quickly going into hyper-overdrive.
When he pulled away, he grabbed her hand and led her through the French doors and into what looked like an office. The room was empty, so she figured it was probably off-limits to the guests. When Toby opened the door at the far end of the room, she followed him through it into a room that was lit with more candles than she had ever seen in one place. The room glowed. She immediately saw Nick and Toby, who were both dressed in jeans and tailored shirts not unlike the one Toby was wearing. They approached her and Toby with smiles on their faces.
“So, he found you,” Nick said taking her free hand in his to bring it to his lips.
“Yes,” she said softly, feeling weak with desire.
“You look lovely, Brianna,” Teddy said, his eyes devouring her. “That dress is lethal, and perfect for you.”
“Thank you,” she barely breathed. She felt overheated and knew it had nothing to do with the candles.
“Are you ready for tonight, Brianna?” Nick asked, his eyes registering concern.
“I’m ready. I want this. I spoke with my counselor, and she knows I need to find out if this is what I want.”
“You told her about us?” Toby asked, surprise written all over his face.
“Yes. I thought it would be for the best. I needed to talk to someone about how I was feeling.”
“I’m glad you talked to your counselor,” Nick said.
“Yes,” Teddy said. “That was the right thing to do.”
“It was, and now I know for sure that I’m more than ready to let you enlighten me.”
“And that”—Nick smiled, his sexy blue eyes snapping—“is exactly what we’re going to do.”
This time, the shiver that ran throughout Brianna’s body was almost enough to make her knees buckle. She had never felt so wanton or needy for sex. Whatever she had felt for Malcolm paled in comparison to what she was feeling now, and she hadn’t even had sex yet. Every nerve ending in her body was screaming for attention, and all she wanted to do was please the three men who were now staring at her intently.
“The first room we’re going to take you to is a scene I think you’ll find enjoyable and a good way to begin,” Nick said, his hand now on the arch of her back, pushing her slightly ahead of him toward a closed door. “There’s a new sub in training that one of the Doms from the club has decided to take under his wing. She’s around your age, and from what I understand, she has wanted this lifestyle for some time but wasn’t quite sure how to go about it.”
“Will we just watch?” Brianna had done some research online, and she knew that in most cases when a scene was being played out, there was no interaction with the audience. However, that wasn’t always true. She needed to know if she was going to be put on the spot. The idea terrified and excited her.
“Yes,” Toby said, stepping in front of her to open the closed door. “All you have to do is watch with us. Do you mind if we touch you?”
“Touch me?”
“‘Play with you’ is more in line with what we want. It’s common for those watching to want to play lightly with their partner. If you would prefer we not, we won’t,” Nick said standing in front of the open door, waiting for her answer.
“I want you to touch me,” she said softly, looking down at her hands. She could sense their smiles.
Nick kissed her forehead. “You have no idea how much we want to touch you.”
Nick turned around and entered the room. She watched as Toby followed, and then Teddy took her hand in his. “Just relax, Brianna. Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen. And if it makes you feel better, all you have to say is ‘red’ if you want us to stop, or just say ‘stop.’ Tonight isn’t about anything but you coming to a better understanding of what you want and who we are.”
She nodded as she let him lead her into the dimly lit room. There were sofas and overstuffed chairs surrounding what looked like a small stage with a young woman kneeling in the center of it with her palms facing up on her thighs. Her long black hair was tied in a ponytail, her head bowed, and her eyes closed. She was dressed in a white lace bra and matching panties. Brianna felt her pulse quicken with anticipation as she watched the woman, who seemed to be totally oblivious to the people that were talking in hushed voices from where they stood or sat near the
stage.
Teddy stopped in front of a large sofa that he motioned for her to sit on. She did so as both he and Toby sat on either side of her.
Nick stood in front of them. “Up, Brianna,” he said holding out his hands to her.
She looked at him somewhat quizzically, wondering where he was taking her. However, his look was cool and distant. She felt compelled to do as he said without asking.
When she did, he nodded and then said, “Good girl,” before he turned her around in front of him and sat between his brothers. Before she realized what was coming next, she found herself sitting on his lap.
“Lean your head back against my shoulder,” he ordered.
“Yes, sir,” she breathed out raggedly.
She heard him gasp before his lips brushed against her ear. “I love hearing you call me sir.”
She almost moaned from the sheer pleasure she felt from being held in his arms. Toby and Teddy both leaned into her and took her hands. She was captured between the three men, and for now at least, she didn’t want them to let her go.
Chapter Eight
Brianna was quite comfortable lying against Nick with both Toby and Teddy caressing her arms and whispering how beautiful she was in her ears. She wanted them, and this was making her wish they would take her to one of their bedrooms, where they could do whatever they wanted to her. She knew it was an unladylike thought, but nothing about the way she felt at this moment was ladylike. She was almost jumping out of her own skin from the needy way her body was responding to the three men. She knew Nick, at least, wasn’t unaffected. She could feel his hard cock rubbing up against her ass.
She heard the sound of a bell, and immediately the room became quiet. She felt her heart quicken as her eyes were drawn to the stage once again, where the submissive was still kneeling, but her eyes, although still downcast, were open, and her body had noticeably tensed. Brianna could sense the sub’s excitement that mingled with her own.
The Power of Her Submission (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 6