by Mary Head
“I know,” David said gently, smiling as he turned his head to kiss the top of hers.
After a moment, he leaned back against the couch cushions, bringing her with him. She wrapped both of her arms around his as she curled against his side, and he pressed another kiss to the top of her head when she rested it on his shoulder again.
Chapter 61
A few hours later Juliet was staring at the TV, watching the news with the volume down low. David dozed beside her, snoring quietly with his head tilted back against the cushions, and she smiled a little as she looked over at him.
Their hands were joined loosely on the couch between them, and she ran her thumb lightly over his. His fingers tightened briefly around hers, and her smile widened. She knew she needed to go home, since she had to go to work in the morning, but every passing minute made it harder for her to want to get up.
The sound of Hannah’s name made her glance up at the TV, and she watched the newscaster relate to the city at large that Hannah had been found, and that one of her captors was dead, the other in FBI custody. She smiled when Chris appeared, listened to his brief statement, and watched the rest of the story numbly, always finding it a little strange to see how events were related after she’d already lived through them.
When the broadcast moved on Juliet sighed, looking over at David. She was contemplating waking him when she thought she heard a sound, almost like a whimper, and she froze, her eyes turning towards the stairs.
Listening hard, her frown deepening, she reached for the remote to mute the TV, and heard it more clearly now in the silence, the sound of crying. She reached for David, saying his name softly, and then a short scream sounded from upstairs.
David was instantly awake and looked quickly at Juliet as another scream sounded, followed by a loud cry of, “No!”
He launched himself off the couch and dashed up the stairs, Juliet close behind. He pushed open the door to Hannah’s room, flipping on the light and hurrying over to the bed.
Hannah was drenched in sweat, her clothes and sheets soaked, and her eyes were tightly closed, her brow creased in a heavy frown.
“Hannah, baby, wake up,” David said urgently, placing his hand on the side of her head. She shied away from his touch, whimpering and raising her hands as though trying to fend him off. He said her name again, louder this time, and her eyes snapped open suddenly, her expression fearful as she looked at him.
“You’re okay, baby, it’s me,” David said softly, staring intently at her. “It’s Dad.”
“Daddy,” she breathed, and then her arms were around his neck, clinging to him as she cried.
“I thought I was ba – back down there.” She struggled to speak through her sobs, her voice muffled against his shirt. “With – with him, and he – he –”
“Shh,” David whispered, stroking her damp hair and touching his lips to the top of her head. “I’ve got you, baby, you’re home. You’re safe. He can’t hurt you anymore, I promise.”
He kissed her again, rubbing her back as he held her tightly, her whole body shaking as she cried.
It was some time before she calmed down, and David pulled back a little, staring at her tear-stained face. Her hands gripped his arms as she stared at his chest, and when she finally met his gaze, her expression was guilty.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, her eyes flicking over his shoulder to where Juliet was standing quietly just inside the door.
David shook his head, taking her face in his hands and pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, sweetheart,” he assured her, staring into her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
Another few moments passed as she took several deep breaths, slowly calming herself down. When her grip on David’s arms relaxed and her shaking subsided, he smiled and pressed another kiss to her forehead.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, glancing at Juliet.
She smiled and nodded as she moved to pull some fresh pajamas from Hannah’s dresser and hurried to place them in the bathroom before returning to help Hannah, leaving David to change the sheets on the bed.
Hannah was quiet as Juliet washed her hair again, and Juliet started to ask if she was okay when she looked up suddenly, her gaze sharp.
“What’s up with you and Dad?”
Juliet froze in the act of reaching for Hannah’s body wash and stared at the younger girl for a moment.
“You’re not gonna buy it if I say ‘nothing,’ are you?”
Hannah gave her a look, and Juliet sighed, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly as she settled back on the edge of the tub, the bottle of body wash in her hands.
“Last night we sort of –” She broke off, her grin widening at the hopeful look on Hannah’s face. “We kissed.”
A tiny squeal escaped Hannah before she clapped her hand over her mouth, and Juliet laughed as she reached up to grab Hannah’s loofah.
“How was it?” Hannah asked as she squeezed a little of the body wash onto the loofah.
Juliet raised an eyebrow, an amused smirk playing on her lips. “Are you asking if your dad’s a good kisser?”
Hannah giggled, her nose crinkling a little as she shook her head, and then shrugged, running the loofah down her arms before moving to her legs.
“For your sake, I hope he is,” she replied, grinning broadly as she glanced up.
Juliet laughed again and nodded. “It was nice,” she said softly, smiling slightly.
Hannah bit gently on her lower lip in an unsuccessful attempt to tamp down her grin and brought the loofah to her torso, carefully scrubbing it over the bruise on her ribs.
When she was clean again, Juliet helped her from the tub and patted her skin dry before helping her into her pajamas. She sat her on the toilet to dry her hair, and Hannah sighed.
“I’m sorry, Jules,” she murmured.
“For what, sweetie?” Juliet asked, rubbing the towel over the ends of Hannah’s hair.
“For all of this. I feel so stupid,” she said with sudden anger. “It was just a dream – and then Dad having to help me walk everywhere, and you having to help me take a freaking bath. I feel helpless, and pathetic –”
Juliet laid the towel down and moved until she was in front of Hannah.
“Hannah, you’re not stupid,” she said softly, shaking her head. “You’ve been through a trauma, honey, and it’s going to stay with you for a while. It’s understandable, and nobody expects you to be okay right away. Your dad’s right, you have nothing to be sorry for.” She raised a hand to Hannah’s face, using her thumb to brush away the tear that fell from her eye. “And you’re not pathetic. Your body’s been through a lot too, and I know it’s hard, but the more you let us help you, the quicker you’ll get better.”
Hannah nodded, sniffling softly, and Juliet leaned forward to kiss her forehead.
“C’mon,” she said, pulling Hannah carefully to her feet. “I don’t think midnight’s too late for those Oreos your dad hides in the cupboard.”
Hannah gave a short laugh, and Juliet slipped her arm around her waist as they walked from the bathroom.
David found them in the kitchen a few minutes later, each with a glass of milk and the open package of cookies on the table between them.
“Look at you little thieves, stealing my cookies,” he muttered, leaning over Hannah to grab one.
Juliet smiled sweetly. “You’ll live.”
David grinned, taking a bite of his cookie and wandering over to the refrigerator for some milk.
Juliet sighed a few minutes later when she finished her milk, pushing away from the table. “I really need to get home.”
“Why not just stay here tonight?” David asked, brushing crumbs from his shirt.
Juliet raised an eyebrow at him. “Because some of us have to work tomorrow.”
“Oh, yeah,” David murmured, smiling a little sheepishly.
Juliet stood and walked around the table to drop a kiss to the t
op of Hannah’s head.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetie,” she said, combing her fingers briefly through Hannah’s hair.
Hannah nodded, smiling up at her when she stepped away, and David stood to follow Juliet to the door, telling Hannah he’d be right back.
“Lots of paperwork to do,” Juliet said quietly when they were in front of the door. “I probably shouldn’t have taken today off, but I just had to.”
“I’m glad you did,” David said, smiling gratefully. “I don’t know if I could’ve handled everything on my own, the bathing and the dressing and all of that.”
Juliet smiled. “I’ll come by tomorrow after work, to help again with the bathing and the dressing.”
David raised his eyebrows as he took a step towards her. “Is that the only reason?”
“Maybe not,” Juliet replied, arching an eyebrow back at him, her gaze flicking between his eyes and his mouth. He smiled again and kissed her softly, his hand resting lightly on her hip. She sighed contentedly when he pulled away, and smiled up at him before pulling open the door.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Though you’re on your own for the dressing in the morning.”
“Oh, God,” David groaned, slumping against the door frame.
Juliet laughed. “You’ll be fine, just close your eyes.”
David snorted and shook his head as they stepped out onto the porch. “Thanks, Jules.”
With a grin, she started for her car, and David waited until she was safely in, lifting his hand as she pulled away from the curb, before he stepped back inside the house.
After he closed the door, he looked up and saw Hannah leaning against the archway into the kitchen, a wide smile on her face.
“My daughter, the spy,” he muttered as he moved towards her, unable to keep from grinning when she giggled.
He took her upstairs and tucked her back into bed, sitting beside her as she settled against her pillows. She looked at him, her expression mildly apprehensive, and he smiled.
“It’ll get better, baby,” he murmured, passing his hand over her still damp hair. She nodded, though she still looked troubled, and David didn’t need to ask why. He knew she was still scared, that tonight’s nightmare would not be the last one, and that the road ahead of them was going to be a long, difficult one.
Still, he gave her a reassuring smile, and leaned down to kiss her temple.
“Night, sweetheart,” he murmured as he straightened.
“Night, Dad. I love you.”
Another smile curved his lips. “I love you too, baby.”
He stood to flip the light off, and then came back to sit on the bed, rubbing his hand over her back. He just wanted to sit with her a little while longer, wanted to appreciate the fact that she was home and safe, and knew she wanted the comfort of his presence.
Finally, when he was sure she was asleep, he gave her one more soft kiss on the side of her head, and then stood, slipping quietly from the room.
Keep reading for an excerpt from the upcoming sequel, Finding Home Again
Chapter 1
Hannah Cole jerked awake, her heart pounding hard in her chest as she pressed her hand against her mouth to muffle her sobs. She didn’t want to wake her dad again just because of a stupid dream, so she laid still, willing her body back under control.
Several minutes later, she sighed and rolled onto her back, swiping her hands over her cheeks as she stared up at the ceiling. The nightmare wasn’t always the same, but the main star always was.
Tonight, he had been on top of her, holding her down and ignoring her screams as he forced himself inside of her, his lips curved in that smirk she hated so much. He may not have followed through on the threat in real life, but the memory of his body pressed against hers, heavy and far too close, and his hand rough on her skin, was enough for her imagination to fill in the rest.
Nausea swept through her, and she sat up quickly, fumbling her lamp on to chase away the darkness of her bedroom. A stray tear slipped from her eye, and she wiped it away impatiently.
This was the nightmare that had woken her up four times in the week since she’d been home. There was a variation where Jackie stood by, refusing to help her, and another in which Eddie came back and killed her dad, Juliet, Chris, everybody she loved, and saved her for last.
There were others, all of them different, but with similar themes, just her subconscious coming up with new ways to torment her.
With a sigh, she threw the covers aside and swung her feet to the floor, slipping from her room and padding silently down to the kitchen. She filled a glass with water from the dispenser in the refrigerator door, downed it quickly, and then filled it again before moving to stand in the archway between the kitchen and the living room.
The memory of that night rose once again in her mind, every detail still perfectly clear: Eddie grabbing her, the two of them struggling on the floor, Jackie holding her down as Eddie jabbed that damn needle into her thigh. She didn’t know what they had given her, and she didn’t really want to know, but she could still remember that heavy feeling that settled within her after they drugged her, and then waking up later with no idea of how much time had passed, or what might have been done to her while she was unconscious.
Tears rose in her eyes again as she stared into the living room. Everything was back to normal, the coffee table centered squarely in front of the couch, no broken laptop or scattered books. The rug was different, though not new, just one of the two they switched out, but she had no idea where the other one was.
Turning abruptly, she took a shaky breath as she raised her glass to her lips, and her eyes fell on the back door, staring at the window. She had never seen it for herself, but Juliet had told her that the glass had been broken, and that was how they had gotten into the house. She felt a dim flash of anger at herself for not noticing the window when she had walked into the kitchen that night. She had been lost in her thoughts, and hadn’t even turned on the kitchen light, the glow from the lamps in the living room enough light for her to see what she was doing.
She wondered what would have happened if she had seen it. Maybe she could have gotten to her phone before Eddie grabbed her, or locked herself in the panic room, or her dad’s office. She felt certain that if she had just noticed the stupid broken window, none of this would have happened. She would have gotten away, she would have saved herself, and it would be just one bad memory, of one bad night, not a seemingly never-ending onslaught of memories and thoughts and images from almost a week of captivity, memories that kept her from sleeping at night, and randomly flashed through her mind during the day, scaring her and taking her back to those moments.
Her dad was always there for her after those daytime moments, holding her, helping her calm down, his voice soothing as he stroked her hair, telling her she was okay, that she was safe. She was grateful he was there, but at the same time felt like such a burden, knowing what this was doing to him, knowing how worried he was, and hated herself for making him feel that way. She loved him for protecting her, and taking care of her, but she hated feeling so dependent on him.
What she needed was to move on; she needed to shove all of this to the back of her mind, lock it away and leave it there forever. Her dad had less than a week before he had to go back to work, and she needed to go back to school. More than that, she wanted to go back to school, and she couldn’t very well do that with all of this stuff still hanging over her head.
It was time to let it go. Eddie was dead, and she needed to get on with her life.
She finished the rest of her water, and then set the glass in the sink before heading back up to her bedroom.
Acknowledgments
The idea for this story first came to me in late 2010. At the time, I was still very new to the idea of writing anything original, and it literally came about from me thinking that I’d really love to see Gary Oldman and Dianna Agron play father and daughter in something. (They are still my ideal David and Hannah.)
The idea wouldn’t go away, though, and the more I thought about it, and talked about it with Lindsay (a.k.a. my braintwin), the more it started becoming an actual Thing, and in January 2011, I began writing it.
In July of 2011, coinciding with my very first trip to visit Lindsay, I finished it, and began posting it online, just as something shared between myself and a few friends. The feedback was overwhelmingly positive, and I idly entertained the idea of self-publishing, but didn’t get very far. Mostly I just enjoyed playing in the universe I had created, continuing to write about these characters’ lives well into their futures.
It wasn’t until after I published my second novel, The Only One, and started writing my third, the upcoming Crimson Hollow, that I decided to pick this back up again. It had been languishing for three years, having gone through one round of edits, and then set aside in favor of other exploits, but I knew that if I kept putting it off, it might never get published. So I set Crimson Hollow aside and dove back into this one.
This story is very close to my heart, for a number of reasons, some of which I may not even be aware of. It’s the first full novel I wrote, my first foray into writing suspense, and I love these characters so much, particularly Hannah. I love all of my characters, in all of my books, but Hannah is the one I hold dearest, and perhaps it’s because I poured so much of myself into her; I’ve always said she’s like an idealized version of me (traumatic kidnapping aside).
I have to thank Lindsay, first and foremost, for being there from the moment this idea began to take shape. Without her there to help me shape this idea, it probably would’ve never gotten off the ground, and I wouldn’t be doing this right now.
To Leah, who was a constant cheerleader for this story, from the moment the first chapter was posted up until the very last fic, and who helped me with my very first round of edits way back when, thank you. Your feedback and opinion has always been so valuable to me.
Hoppy, Jeff, Kelsey, and Jess, your feedback in the last few frenzied months of getting this ready to publish was especially valuable, and I cannot thank all of you enough.