by Lora Thomas
Elena smiled. So Catrina did have a bit of bite to her bark.
“I beg your pardon?” Iris snapped.
“Living in the country makes one stronger. We are more acclimated to stimulating activities and physical exertion. It builds strong character and stronger women. Women who are willing to fight for what they want. Don’t you agree, Elle?”
Elena could not disappoint her friend. “Absolutely. That is why I insisted upon attending Miss Eddy’s.”
Victoria shot her daughter a confused look. Then she turned her attention to Catrina. She could feel the tension in the air surrounding the three younger women and knew the reason. Catrina was willing to fight for Thomas’s affections. Before Victoria could speak, a male voice came from behind.
“I have never seen a more beautiful collection of ladies,” Hawke said, stopping by the table. “And Miss Paxsley, your beauty called me here.”
“Lord Hawke,” Elena said, batting her lashes. “You are too bold.”
“I apologize, Miss Paxsley. It is just that some words must be spoken. I was wondering if I could persuade you to accompany me on a carriage ride this afternoon?”
“I would be delighted.”
Victoria spoke, “You have an appointment to go sea bathing this afternoon with Catrina.”
Iris’s eyes lit up with a predatory gleam. Perfect. In a honeyed tone, she spoke, “I would be delighted to go with Miss Wilcox so that Miss Paxsley can accompany Lord Hawke.”
The countess shot her daughter a confused look. Catrina’s eyes grew wide. Elena smiled as if she had just won a grand prize.
“Please, Mother,” Elena said.
Elena could see the “no” in her mother’s eyes.
Elena quickly added, “Mary or Constance can come as well. As chaperones.”
A sigh left Victoria as she nodded. “Very well.”
“Splendid!” Hawke said. “I will allow you to finish your lunch and return around one.” He bowed politely and left.
Catrina glowered at her friend. How could Elena do this to her?! She turned her focus upon Iris. Her nemesis was sipping her tea, glowering at Catrina. This day was not going to be pleasant.
Catrina left the luncheon early with the excuse of a headache. Instead of going to her room, she decided to go to the caves. Perhaps Mr. Heath would be there and need assistance with his mirrors.
Approaching, she saw Mr. Heath departing. Disappointment filled her until she spotted Thomas. He was just behind Mr. Heath. Thomas’s hair was damp, and he was carrying his jacket.
She opened her mouth to call for him but snapped it shut. Despite her desire to see him, it would be highly inappropriate to do so here without a chaperone.
Thomas must have felt her eyes upon him. He stopped and turned. He shouted something to Mr. Heath and headed towards the beach again, causing Catrina’s heart to pound with excitement.
Thomas descended the slope, his gaze never leaving Catrina. He had awakened that morning with a contentment he had not had in years, and he realized that Catrina was the reason. She brought happiness to his life and a peace he had not known in years. He wanted Catrina in his life but did not know how to make it happen. The happiness inside him had grown as a notion came to him. He would end his relationship with Iris and start anew with Catrina. He knew Catrina’s brother would never allow a relationship between Catrina and him, but he would find a way to make it happen. As he was dressing, he had received a summons from Lady Iris. He met her in the center courtyard. Iris appeared distressed. He soon discovered the reason when she revealed to him that she was carrying his child. The contentment that had filled his soul was replaced with bitterness.
The announcement sent Thomas’s plans crashing down around him, and he felt like his soul was being ripped from his body. Iris’s condition was going to ruin the one chance he had with Catrina. Yet, something seemed too coincidental about Iris’s announcement. Thomas had no proof, just a feeling that something else was at play. But he was an honorable man and informed Iris he would speak to her father upon returning to London.
After his conversation with Iris, Thomas went to the caves and decided to swim. He needed the cold water to clear his mind. A way to help him remember…or should he say forget…why he and Catrina could never be together.
Yet, as he saw her there upon the beach, he felt drawn to her. She was the breath he needed.
Stopping before her, he smiled, but his green eyes lacked warmth, and Catrina’s smile faded.
“Hello,” she spoke.
“Hello,” Thomas replied.
Neither one spoke, as their eyes locked. The breeze caused Catrina’s dress to pull taut over her body, revealing the curves that Thomas longed to touch. Her tresses lightly caressed her neck and her lips parted.
Catrina watched Thomas and inwardly chastised herself. She was such a fool! He had no desire to see her. If he had, then he would not be looking at her with disgust in his eyes.
“I am sorry to have interrupted your day,” Catrina said and turned.
Thomas reached outward and lightly took her arm. “Catrina.”
She looked into his eyes and saw something there that should have frightened her. Yet, it intrigued her. There was a look in his eyes. A look that she could not describe.
He released her upper arm and allowed his fingers to trail lightly up to her neck. They captured the dancing locks and tucked them behind her ear as he stepped closer. His hand then cupped her face, and she could feel her heart race as a strange flutter settled in her stomach. His lips found hers, and her hands intertwined around his neck as he pulled her in close.
Thomas knew he should stop. He knew he should leave and never look back. But he could not. There was something about Catrina that drew him to her. Like she was in control of him. His lips continued to brush over hers, and despite the coolness, he could feel the blood flow to his member. He released her and stepped back.
“I think I should go,” Thomas said.
Sadness pulled at Catrina’s eyes as she shamefully looked at the sand. “I…I understand.”
“I do not think you do, Catrina.”
She cast her gaze back to him. Tears glistened her eyes as she remembered Mrs. Paxsley’s warning to her. “I do. You used me, Lord Huntsley. For what reason, I do not know. Was it to make me appear like a fool?”
Thomas shook his head. “It is not that simple.”
“It is. I know we come from different worlds. I know I am not as beautiful or refined as Lady Iris. I know that no one would ever find me attractive—”
“Catrina. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.”
“Do not lie to me, Lord Huntsley. I am no comparison to Lady Iris.”
“No, you are not.”
Those words hurt her, causing her chin to quiver.
He cupped her cheek. “Your beauty far surpasses hers, Catrina.”
Uncertainty flashed in her blue eyes.
“You are the most beautiful woman I have ever met.” His thumb traced her trembling lips. “I have never met another who can compare. You are smart and caring. You have grace and elegance. As we danced, as my hands were upon your waist, I had to fight my body all night. When we kissed, I had to fight myself to keep from doing something we would both regret. And now, I am fighting the desire I have for you. If I do not leave, I am afraid I will carry you into those caves and make love to you.”
His words caused Catrina’s insides to quiver. He found her beautiful. He desired her! She looked into his eyes. Since she knew she would never have a blissful union, why not allow Thomas to show her what her body should experience?
She stood up on her toes and placed her lips to his.
“Catrina,” he whispered against her mouth.
“I know, Thomas. I know we can never be together. But I have sensations coursing inside of me that I do not understand. When you touch me, I feel like my insides are alive. I want to know what these feelings are, and I want you to show me where they will lead.�
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“Catrina, I cannot. It would ruin you.”
Heat flooded her cheeks as her lips parted.
His hand caressed her neck. “If I taste you, Catrina, I fear that I could never let you go. And we both know that we can never be together.”
Catrina closed her eyes and nodded. “Forgive me.”
Thomas took her into his arms, holding her tightly against his body, and a startled gasp left her as she felt his maleness press against her abdomen. “Forgive you? I should be the one begging for forgiveness. I want you, Catrina. I would love nothing more than to make you mine. But I will not do that to you. I will not taint you.”
His confession caused a tightness to settle in her chest. He was correct. Branson would never allow them to be together. But Thomas did desire her. He did care for her.
“Then allow me to taint you,” Catrina said.
“Catrin—”
Her finger covered his mouth. “Show me, Thomas. Show me what it means to be a woman.” Then she boldly reached between them and placed her hand upon him, causing him to swell. “Show me.”
Thomas closed his eyes and mentally cursed. Damn this woman! How could she control him so? Yet, he could not resist her. His mouth found hers in a crushing kiss as he swept her into his arms, carrying her into the caves. What was about to happen would change their relationship. It would change the course of their lives…forever.
The couple laid upon the floor of the cave, neither speaking as they allowed the aftermath of what had transpired to settle.
“It is always like this?” Catrina finally spoke.
Thomas ran a hand over her arm. “I cannot attest for women, but for men…yes.”
“Thank you.”
Thomas looked down at Catrina. Her hand came to his face. “Thank you for this, Thomas. Thank you for teaching me.”
Thomas did not answer. He did not know how to. Instead, he said. “We better get dressed before someone comes.”
Catrina’s eyes widened at the realization that they could have been caught.
Thomas laughed. “Relax. I would have taken care of the issue and not have allowed anyone to know whom I was with. I cannot have anyone speaking poorly about you.”
Placing one last kiss upon her lips, Thomas then placed his forehead to hers. “We better get you dressed.”
Standing, he assisted Catrina to her feet. Once the couple was dressed, Thomas allowed Catrina to exit the cave first. He would follow shortly after in order to keep suspicion down should anyone be present.
A few minutes later, Thomas exited the cave. He spotted Catrina in the distance and smiled. The smile faded from his face as he realized what he had just done. He mentally cursed himself as he realized that he had had sex with the most intriguing woman he had ever met while seeking the hand of another. He was a damned fool! He wanted Catrina to be his wife, not Iris!
The instant the notion entered his mind, his lips parted in shock. Surely, he did not love Catrina? He fixated his gaze upon her back as she disappeared around the curve. So what were these feelings he had for her? Desire? Yes. The need to protect her, yes? Love? He shook his head. How could he? Yet, he found that the notion of Catrina with another man caused a pain to surge through his chest.
The sound of the crashing waves captured his attention. They matched the emotions rolling inside of him. He wished Hawke were here, for he needed an out for his frustrations and nothing was better than a boxing match with the baron. But, alas, Hawke was not here. He was taking Miss Paxsley on a carriage ride. But a swim in the refreshing water might help. He would swim until he could swim no farther. And with any luck, the tide would carry away his problems and the feelings he had coursing inside of him for Catrina Wilcox.
Exiting the cave, Catrina could not control her smile as her hand came to her mouth. She could still feel Thomas’s lips upon hers. Her insides were still reeling from the sensations that Thomas had created inside her. Her actions were so naughty! Yet, she would do so again. If she was forced to marry an old miser, then the least she could do was experience what it truly meant to be a woman by a man she found irresistible. By a man who caused her to smile. By a man she longed to see every second of the day. The thought of Thomas caused her heart to swell. The tender way he made love to her and held her afterward were what dreams were made of. She loved the way she felt in his arms. He had been so gentle to her, so kind, and she did not regret her decision to ask Thomas to teach her what it meant to be a woman. Giving one last glance at the opening of the cave, Catrina’s smile widened.
Thomas was perfect in every way imaginable. Perhaps there would be a way to have a future with him after all. Perhaps, she could have Thomas in her life. There had to be a way. She had to get Thomas to see her as someone worthy to be in his life. Catrina’s family was from land gentry, not from nobility, and therein lay the problem. How to get a lord of the realm to accept a commoner?
Turning, she began walking down the beach. Rounding the bend, her eyes widened in horror, and the smile on her face melted away. In the distance, she could see the bathing machine. Groaning, she held in the desire to turn and head back to the caves. How could she have been so foolish as to forget she was to meet Lady Iris? Mustering strength from deep inside herself, she counseled herself to be polite. It was only for half an hour. Surely, she could play nice for that short length of time. It was what was expected of her. If she behaved less than ladylike, it would embarrass the Paxsleys. They had been so kind to her, and she could not tarnish their name by her hatred for Iris. With a knot in her stomach, Catrina trudged to the bathing machine.
Catrina gnashed her teeth together as she spotted her nemesis approaching the bathing machine. She was going to kill Elena! How dare Elena leave Catrina to face Iris alone. Catrina could feel her confidence begin to waver as she watched the beautiful lady approach. Envy entered Catrina as she watched the regal way Iris walked and held herself. How could Catrina ever hope to compete against such a beauty for Thomas? Catrina wanted to hurl herself into the sea and never return.
A tight smile came to Iris. “I am here.”
Catrina could feel the hairs prickle upon her spine. “You were the one who volunteered to do this.”
“I thought I would see what the enthusiasm for the activity is all about.” Iris breezed past Catrina and entered the bathing machine.
Catrina squeezed her eyes tightly closed and mumbled, “You can do this. You can do this.”
Once inside the machine, it lurched forward. Catrina did not speak to Iris as she picked up the bathing gown. She changed into the red garment, not acknowledging the other woman’s presence. Once dressed, she sat upon the bench, her eyes fixated upon a pine knot on the wall.
“I think we have gotten off poorly, don’t you think?” Iris asked.
“No,” Catrina said. “I am sorry you feel that way.”
“Well, I can come off as being somewhat aloof. Thomas said I need to open up more to others. After all, hosting parties and fetes will be part of my duties once we are married.”
“Married?” Catrina said, a tightness settling in her chest.
“Yes.” A vicious grin pulled Iris’s full lips as she plunged her knife into Catrina’s heart. “No one knows. Not even my mother. But just this morning, as we were walking along the beach at sunrise, he asked to speak to my father about our future.”
“Speak to your father?” Catrina repeated. Her head started to spin. No! This could not be happening! Only moments ago, Thomas was holding her in his arms.
“Yes. Thomas said the instant he returns to London, he would speak with my father.” Iris pulled the bathing cap over her raven tresses. “I can hardly wait to call myself Mrs. Thomas Summers. Or address myself as the Viscountess of Huntsley. I think mid-summer would be a lovely time for our wedding. Don’t you?”
The realization of what had occurred only moments ago hit Catrina like a charging bull. She had been foolish enough to allow Thomas to use her. Victoria’s warning from this morni
ng rang in her ears. “Only out to sow their wild oats.” And Catrina had fallen victim to his sweet, flowery words. She was the biggest fool imaginable.
“Are you well, Miss Wilcox? You appear pale,” Iris said, an evil slant to her eyes.
“Yes. I am fine. Congratulations,” Catrina answered woodenly.
“Thank you.”
The bathing machine stopped, and the door opened. Iris exited the contraption, yet Catrina kept her gaze focused on the knot. How could this be happening? Thomas had kissed her just last night and not even twelve hours later had asked Lady Iris for her hand. No! He made love to her after he had asked for Iris’s hand!
“Miss,” the dipper called from the doorway.
Catrina closed her eyes and wiped the tears away. “Coming.” She approached the door. Another dipper was assisting Iris. Catrina felt a tightness in her chest at the thought of Thomas and Iris being married. She had such a desire to grab Iris by her hair and hold her head under the water.
She was being foolish. Having foolish girlish fantasies. Thomas was not in the cards for her. Even if Iris hadn’t been in the picture, Branson would never allow it. As long as he was her guardian, he had complete control over her life.
Through gritted teeth, Catrina spoke to the dipper, “I do not have any extra funds, but if I did, I would give you every shilling if you would drown that viper.”
The dipper looked at Iris. “For her, I would be willing to do it for free.”
A puzzled expression came to Catrina.
The dipper spoke, “This is not my first encounter with Lady Iris.”
“She said she has never been sea bathing,” Catrina replied.
“At the hotel. My mother is a maid. I was there and heard how she addressed my mother. No one should be so degrading of others.”
“Then I can see she is just as vicious to all those she encounters.” Catrina slipped into the water.
“She is. But why are you with her, miss? If you do not like her?”
“It was not by choice, I can assure you,” Catrina said.