by Adeera Lake
“Just tell him I’m late and to wait for me.”
“Yeah, ok. As you wish Sir,” she says with a sarcastic tone.
“Thanks, Chels,” I grin as I hang up the phone and get out of my apartment.
We have two elevators in our building and one is ready with its door opened, right on my floor. I get in and push the button to Grace’s floor.
I need to see her. I need to apologize for having left without even explaining why. I feel bad. She doesn’t deserve this. But damn! A guy was about to die in my apartment. I didn’t have time for explanations.
I step in, and in the few seconds, it takes to get down to her floor I fancy about what might have happened last night.
The ding tells me I’m at Grace’s level and I get out as soon as the doors open. When I’m in front of her door, for a moment, I wonder if I should just go to work and forget about this whole thing. In fact, I hesitate a couple of seconds staring at the doorbell button, but I finally push my thumb on it. I hear the muffled ring of the doorbell and I wait, but the seconds go by and she doesn’t show up.
I wait a little bit more, but I hear no noise coming from inside.
I try again, reminding myself it took a little time for her to open last evening, but nothing again. Now reply. No sounds.
I exhale the air from my lungs and I push the button one last time. Maybe she’s still sleeping, I think. The bell rings again, but nothing. A creepy silence fills the corridor.
“Alright, I tried?” I mutter to myself before turning and walking back to the elevator.
23
Grace
I don’t deserve this - well, I know, we are not a couple. We are nothing. We are not even friends. I just think he should have been a little more respectful. Why leaving like that? What happened? Why not tell me what was going on?
I waited for him until late at night to get back and explain to me what happened. Or at least call me through the night concierge, who obviously knows my number. So Zac, you don’t have any excuse for being so rude to me. But then again, what did I expect from a man with a killer body and a fucking attitude like his?
I even feel guilty for what I did after he was gone, but I am a woman for God’s sake. I haven’t seen a man in that department for more than six months and we were so close last night that I reached the point of no return. I blush when I think about it, and I even feel guilty somehow, but I know I have nothing to feel sorry for.
I haven’t slept much, constantly waking up for every little noise. My sleep was disturbed by my thoughts and at dawn, I gulped a couple of Tylenols using the bottle of water on my bedside table.
‘Shit!’
I know I’m done with sleep for the night and after lounging around in bed for an hour, I finally quit trying and get up, heading directly to the bathroom where I take a steamy hot shower that ends up relaxing me and calming me down. I take my time before getting dress, and I enjoy my microwaved frozen croissant, an orange juice, and a mug of whole fat milk, with my white comfy robe still on.
I try all my best to avoid thinking about Zac, but what happened last night keeps popping up in my mind. I still have a couple of hours before having to go to the restaurant and I’m tempted to go knock his door and ask for some explanation. I’m not a damn slut and I don’t want him to think he can play with me. I’ve always hated men like that since I was in high school. Those bastards think they can do whatever they want just because they are cool and popular. I’ve been hurt by one of those too, but I was so green and naïve that it couldn’t have been otherwise. But now I know how to handle it and he’s not going to use me. I need to make this clear and actually tell him to get lost. I don’t even want him to say hi to me from now on.
‘Damn it! Why have I been so stupid?’
But the thing that drives me crazy is his controversial behavior. He can be an Angel and a Demon at the same time.
***
I’m painting my toenails but I’m so annoyed by what happened last night that as soon as I’m done I wear my hoodie and a pair of jeans and stomp toward the door. As I get out of my apartment I realize I’m barefoot, but I don’t care. I’m not getting out of the building, I think before stepping into one of the elevators and pushing the top floor button.
When I hear the ding and the doors slide open I step out and in a few steps, I find myself in front of his door. My heart starts racing and my breath pushes my belly in and out. Suddenly all the fuss goes away.
I hate getting so emotional, especially for a douchebag like him.
‘Ok Grace, just do it!’
I take a deep breath and slowly blow the air from my lungs before hesitantly finding the courage to push the button beside the door.
As the bell rings inside the apartment my heart thunders.
I chew the corner of my lips, my brows furrow, and my hands get damp, but as the seconds go by, the silence reigns.
I wait a few seconds and then I push the button again. Still no reply and no sounds from inside.
There’s a part of me that’s even happy to have avoided all this. Yet, my pride tells me I need to get mad at him, even though in the back of my mind I hope he’s not home.
I wait a few more seconds and then I leave.
When I’m home all the braveness I seemed to have lost in front of Zac’s door, had come back. “He’s gone! I can’t believe this!” I hear myself blurting. “Thank God he left!” I murmur.
I don’t even want to imagine how bad I’d have felt had we gone further.
24
Grace
I’m not in the mood for taking the subway to go to work, so I decide to walk albeit the weather doesn’t look very promising. It’s chilly and gloomy but I don’t mind it. I like the beginning of the fall. The brown dry leaves on the sidewalk cracking under my shoes. I love the colors, the odors, the atmosphere. Maybe I’m just weird. But to me, it’s cozy rather than cold. It reminds me of my childhood when my parents drove me to school, or when in the afternoon, I used to do my homework with a steamy mug of hot chocolate on my little desk that faced the window.
I check the time on my phone and on a whim, I step into a scented candles shop. I’m a big fan, and I buy five different colors and scents to place in each room of my temporary apartment.
A few blocks before ‘my’ restaurant, I instinctively step into my favorite coffee shop and I get two blueberry muffins to go that I devour down the street in less than no time. If I had to name some of my vices, blueberry muffins would definitely be one of them. I just love them!
I suck the sticky blue texture out of my thumbs just before walking into the restaurant. “Hey,” I mumble to some of my colleagues who are setting the tables, and I head toward the crew room.
I’m dealing with the combination of my locker and I sigh, thinking how miserable I actually am. Never been lucky with men, and probably I never will be.
As I remove my worn out canvas shoes, I reflexively grab my foot and take a quick whiff of my big toe – that’s another vice of mine. I just can’t help it. I smirk with one side of my mouth and I start wearing my waitress dress.
“Hey, darling are you ok?” Nick asks me when he walks by one of the tables I’m setting the cutlery on. The restaurant is still closed.
“Oh, hi Nick.” I smile.
“Honey, I can smell blue moods a mile away, so what’s up? Tell me.”
“No, I’m alright really,” I murmur, not wanting to self-disclose about my inner feelings, although Nick is the only friend and seemingly sincere person I have in this city.
He rolls his green eyes along with his head and then sighs. “Listen, Grace, I don’t need sad employees in this restaurant. I’m the manager and it’s my responsibility to make sure you are alright,” he says with a tone that makes me understand he’s only trying to be helpful and that I can trust him.
I love him. He’s like an older brother for me. He’s such a kind person and I feel so lonely that I suddenly feel the urge to hug him tightly. But I kno
w I can’t do that in front of the others.
I smirk. “Thank you, Nick.”
He looks on his left for a couple of seconds. “Let me guess sweetheart. Does it have to do with that guy you told me about last time?”
My heart suddenly races. Of course, Nick is more sensible than the stereotypical man, he has what they call ‘women’s intuition’.
I feel my cheeks going warm and I let out an awkward smile.
He sucks the air through his teeth and sighs again smiling at me with his eyes. “Men…” he murmurs melancholically. “They are all the same,” he says.
He’s right, I think. “Yeah, they are,” I reply.
“But!” he says lifting his index finger up to stop me.
I widen my eyes questioningly. “But?” I timidly mutter.
“But are we going to give up just because most of them suck? The right ones are like precious diamonds. They are rare, but they exist. And sometimes they are simply rough gemstones that are very hard to recognize.”
I chuckle letting out a sweet smile. “Wise words Nick. But It’s so hard! I’ve never found the diamond so far,” I giggle.
“Darling, of course, it’s not easy. If finding precious gems was a piece of cake everyone would be billionaires.” He laughed. “But no, it’s not easy to find the right man. The one who will love you for the rest of your life. The one who surprises you every morning and doesn’t take you for granted. And why not? A damn smoking hot guy would be the cherry on top, wouldn’t it?”
I grin, and my thoughts go to Zac. ‘He is damn hot but he is an asshole!’
“So, what it takes is willpower and persistence. The same it takes to bring rough hidden gems to light.” His green eyes pierce me, and his sweet smile, along with his pearls of wisdom, give me a reassuring sensation.
“Yeah, who knows where my blue prince his?” I smile.
“He could everywhere,” he promptly replies. “You just need to look twice, maybe more. And most importantly, you should never give up, even if you have to go through a lot of suffering first. That’s the only way to find real love.” He looks at his silver watch on his wrist. “Now it’s almost time to open, but remember what I said, honey.”
I slightly nod letting out a soft grin. But what he just said keeps bugging me. ‘The right ones may hide everywhere like rough gemstones. Sometimes they are like hidden gems.’
I shake my head. “I don’t think I’m able to recognize a hidden gem.”
***
After almost fourteen hours I’m exhausted. A waitress called in sick at the last moment and I had to cover for her. Nick said he’d have handled it but I told him not to worry. I didn’t want to let him down.
But now I’m drained.
All my muscles hurt, my feet are sore, and my back is killing me.
“Now I don’t listen to any excuse sweetheart, you get your ass back home or I’ll fire you,” Nick says apprehensively when only a couple of tables are left with customers still sitting. “You have done more than enough today, thank you. I owe you. But now go get some rest,” he murmurs with emphasis.
I let out a soft tired smile and I nod. “I will, thanks, Nick.”
He chuckles shaking his head and strolls toward the kitchen. “I don’t wanna see you when I’m back,” he says without turning.
I quickly go change and in a matter of minutes, I’m out of the restaurant.
Like the first day, I’m really tired and the only thing I care for is a hot bath and a soft bed. I’m about to wave my hand to an upcoming yellow cab when I feel a presence behind me. It seems like some sort of déjà vu, and when I instinctively turn, exactly like the first time we talked outside the restaurant, Zac stands a few feet away from me.
25
Zac
I felt guilty all day.
I made a mistake last night. I should have gone back to her apartment and apologize.
But that’s not me. I’m not the kind of guy that needs to say sorry.
The mask I built in all these years refuses to even consider any kind of apologies.
I’m not a sweetheart, but for the sake of God she needs to know what happened last night, and on the spur of the moment I decided to surprise her like I did when I first met her.
I lean on the wall next to the restaurant when Grace walks out. She doesn’t notice me, and I furtively step forward until I’m almost behind her, but she must have felt my presence and when she turns and sees me she gasps and drops her jaw like the first time. But this time her eyes glow.
“Oh God, I can’t believe this. Again?”
“Again what?” I reply not able to hide my amusement.
“You did it again!” She squeals letting out a half smile but all of a sudden she glares at me and her expression gets serious. “What do you want now?”
“Well, I actually wanted to tell you why I left last night.”
Her eyes widen. “Oh really… Some hot chicks called you and you couldn’t resist?” She crosses her arms over her chest.
I chuckle slowly shaking my head.
“There’s no excuse for the way you treated me.” She turns her head to her left.
“What if I told you I had to save a life?”
She turns heard head to me and looks up seemingly baffled. “What?”
“There was a party at my apartment and a guy passed out. My friend Daniel panicked and called me saying the guy had stopped breathing. I didn’t have the time to explain.”
She slightly discloses her lips pondering on what I’d just told her. “What are you? I mean, really? You are not making this up, are ya?”
“I’m not that kind of guy, trust me. I never lie.”
“But, but. I mean… Maybe I’m just too naïve but… Why didn’t you come down afterward?”
I don’t want to tell her I knocked at her door this morning.
I smirk with one side of my mouth and I snort.
“I thought the heat of the moment was gone.” I blurt.
She chews the corner of her meaty bottom lip seemingly pondering about what I said. Her brows furrow slightly. “So, you did what you did just because you were horny? Is that what you are saying?” She blurts tilting her head to one side.
“That’s not what I meant.”
For a moment I wonder if she’s right. But then I remember how I felt before deciding to go knock her door. And the way I’m feeling now tells me I wasn’t just horny. But I’m not going to break my promise. I don’t want to end up like my father. I don’t want to suffer for a girl again like I did in high school.
I grin. “You didn’t seem a piece of ice either.”
She lets out a silent gasp dropping her jaw. “Oh my…” she shakes her head. “Alright, I’m not gonna play this game…”
I snortle. “What about a drink?”
“No thanks, I’m really tired and I just wanna go home.”
“Well, I’m not gonna pray ya, but since we happen to live in the same building I can walk you home… How does that sound?”
I’m so tempted to kiss her that I clench my jaw to refrain from doing it.
She looks away for a couple of seconds then back at me. “Whatever.”
26
Grace
When Zac says he wants to walk home with me I don’t tell him I was going to get a cab. I’m really tired but I felt bad for having said he’s an asshole. Yeah, he might have come down and said ‘hey I’m sorry about the way I left…’ and explain to me what had happened, but who am I for him? No one. Besides, he actually did it now.
So, apparently, I was wrong.
However, I’m not going to act like an infatuated teen just because he said he saved a guy’s life. I’m definitely glad he did but that doesn’t change my opinion about the opposite sex.
‘What does he want from me? If it is just a one night stand that he wants, why bother to come here and explain why he left? Maybe he does have a heart? But does he like me? I can’t deny there’s an attraction between the two of us.
But how much? I don’t want a one night stand. I don’t want to take the risk to like him too much. What if I start getting too close and he doesn’t want to see me anymore?’
“Hey?”
“Oh, um yeah?”
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Oh, I’m sorry I was thinking about something really important I gotta do tomorrow,” I blurt, feeling my cheeks getting warm.
“I asked you if you like sushi, this one’s great if you want we can get some to-go.”
“Oh, I actually love it.” I smile realizing I didn’t eat. And when I look at the little Japanese restaurant, I suddenly feel really hungry. “Um, sure let’s go get some.”
Zac grins and for a moment I’m tempted to kiss him, but I quickly push that stupid thought away. “Ok you are warned, I can eat a lot of it!” I tell him just before stepping in.
He chuckles. “Me too.”
I smirk delightedly. “We’ll see.”
We got a bunch of Sushi, maybe too much. The paper bag that contains the different boxes with Temaki, Nigiri, Maki, and Sashimi of various kind feels pretty heavy, and when we step out of the very small restaurant we stare at each other for a second and then we both start laughing. A good, long laugh that makes our eyes watery.
“Ok, can you resist till we get home?” he asks with a sincere smile. His expression seems suddenly more relaxed. His forehead looks smoother, like if we had just broken the last boundary between us. Our minds have just naturally connected, and for the first time since I met him, I feel that the invisible, metaphorical veal we have been wearing to protect ourselves from the unknown has vanished. Something as silly liking the same food and having bought maybe too much of it has made us laugh like thoughtless teenagers, and the tension between us has suddenly disappeared. Now he looks even hotter than he was. I see him with different eyes.