“You can still say that after everything?”
“Most definitely.” She wrapped Melody in a warm hug. “Don’t be a stranger, now. And please write. And please remember that you are welcome anytime. Anytime! As our guest.”
“May God be with you, Melody,” Mr. Brenneman said.
Next Katie approached, her eyes filled with tears as well. “Your being here has been so special. It’s changed my life. You’ve changed my life, Melody.”
She felt the same way. For some reason, Melody knew that her visit at the Brennemans’ inn had been meant to be. And that she was a better person for the experience.
But all that felt like too much. “I will miss you.”
“We want to see you soon.”
“I will try,” she promised. In truth, nothing could make her happier than another visit to the inn.
Next came the rest of the family. Melody noticed that Levi took care to stand to one side as one by one each approached, hugged her close, and took one last adoring look at Faith.
Then the only person left to say goodbye to was Levi. Turning to Leah, who’d been hovering nearby, she asked, “Could you take Faith for a moment?”
“Sure. I’ll go to the truck.” Giving Melody a meaningful look, she murmured, “Take your time.”
Her heart beating fast, Melody walked to where Levi stood. Off to the side. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“I … I will miss you.”
“I will miss you, too.” Oh, there was so much she wanted to say, but not here, in front of everyone.
Gently, he reached out and placed a finger under her chin. Pressed slightly until she was looking into his eyes. “Don’t forget that I’ll write you.”
“I promise I will write you back.”
He nodded. Then, to her surprise, he said nothing more, just enfolded her in his arms. Not caring what anyone thought, she rested her head on his shoulder and hugged him back.
Oh, how she wished she could take all his goodness, all his warmth home with her!
His arms tightened around her. She felt the briefest of kisses on her head. And then he stepped away. “They’re waiting,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “It’s time.”
“Yes. I suppose it is. Goodbye, Levi. Goodbye … and thank you.”
He smiled gently, then turned away.
The only thing to do was walk to the truck. Each step away from him felt like a mile.
Chapter 28
December 28, noon
“You went away for Christmas, didn’t you?” Kevin asked around a bite of roast beef sandwich.
Levi swallowed his own bite of ham as he nodded.
Yesterday, when he’d traveled all day to get home, he’d been too occupied with his own thoughts. Too often he’d find himself looking out the window and being reminded of Melody. The golden sunrise reminded him of her eyes. The shy tilt of a woman’s chin at a rest stop made him think of her as well. He had been looking forward to going back to work just so he wouldn’t be remembering so much.
But with one question from his boss, he was transported back again to the inn.
“Where did you go?”
“Cincinnati.”
Kevin looked at him in surprise. “That’s quite a ways. What was there?”
“An inn. I had heard about a special bed-and-breakfast, the Brenneman Bed and Breakfast. It’s family owned.” Still struggling with how to make his words sound nonchalant, he shrugged. “I thought it would be a good place for me to be.”
“Ah. Did you enjoy yourself?”
Had he? It had been an eventful visit, that was for sure. But enjoyable? Was falling in love unexpectedly an enjoyable thing? “I did enjoy myself.”
“I bet it did you good to get away,” Kevin murmured. “Are Christmases still as painful as ever?”
It was sometimes a surprise to realize everything he’d taken such care to hide hadn’t been hidden at all. “I had thought it would be a painful time, but it was an easier thing.”
“Then you made the right choice, going away.”
“Perhaps.” Now, instead of only thinking about Rosanna’s death on Christmas Eve, he found himself reliving the miracle of Faith’s birth. “As a matter of fact, I think the pain has lessened quite a bit.”
“What did you do with your time?” Ivan asked from across the table. “I think I’d be bored silly, sitting by myself at a bed-and-breakfast.”
“I was planning to be bored. Actually looking forward to it, but I wasn’t that way at all. For one thing, we went hunting.” And, of course, he’d fallen in love.
Kevin raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t know you hunted.”
“I don’t. But the men invited me along, and I enjoyed myself. They got a six-point buck.”
“You got lucky.”
“We did. Other things were exciting as well,” he allowed. “A storm came and turned the area pitch black, right on Christmas Eve. And while we were stranded in the dark, another guest gave birth to a baby.” He was proud of himself for sounding so matter-of-fact. So easy. His palms still shook when he recalled how afraid he’d been.
Kevin and the other men in the room who’d recently joined them looked shocked. “Well, there’s a story right there,” Ivan quipped. “A baby born on Christmas in an inn—just like in the Bible.”
“It was quite an event.” It was on the tip of his tongue to try and describe just how remarkable a time it had been … but of course, there was no way he could reveal his story without giving Melody’s private business away.
So he ate his sandwich, listened to the other men talk of lumber prices and cranky wives, eating too much ham and other travels. And as the other men talked, Levi let his mind drift again to Melody and the last look she gave him before slipping into Zack’s truck and taking off.
Last night he’d written her. The note had been short and to the point. He asked after her trip and inquired about her health. Of course he also wished for Faith’s continued health as well.
There was so much he’d ached to say, to ask … but had been afraid. He wondered how her parents were treating her. He wondered if she was happier, or if she still held the thick cord of grief around herself. Cutting off so much to the outside world.
Later that afternoon, he went to the store and picked up some freshly roasted chicken from the Yoder’s market. While inside, he saw his neighbors.
“We heard you were back, Levi. We’re glad of it.”
“Thank you. I’m glad, too.”
They exchanged pleasantries, talking about much of the same things that he’d discussed with the men at work. And then he went home and carefully prepared a dish and ate in the silence.
After the rest of his chores, the rest of the night dragged on. Giving him all the incentive he needed to pick up a pencil again and write. Now, at least, he could tell her about his workday. Perhaps that would interest her some?
It had to be better than to hear him pine for her again. Because that’s all he seemed to be able to do.
But he had to write. He had to keep that connection. In truth, he couldn’t bear the thought of having Melody out of his life.
As if he had a choice.
December 30, 2:00 P.M.
“A letter’s come for you, Melody,” her mother practically sang as she flew though the front door. “It’s another one from Berlin.” After setting the envelope on the table beside Melody’s rocking chair, she looked at Melody expectantly.
“Danke, Mamm.”
“Well, aren’t you going to open it?”
“I will in a little while.” No way did she want to read the letter in front of her mother. It was too personal. Too special.
“Oh.”
Though Faith was sleeping contentedly beside her and didn’t need her attention, Melody kept her eyes on the baby. Her feelings about Levi were too raw to even hide. She had a hunch that one look would reveal far too much to her mother.
But of course she didn’t take the hint. “What is this L
evi like? Why is he writing you so often?”
Well, she supposed some things couldn’t be put off forever. After taking a sip of the hot peppermint tea for fortification, she said, “He’s a good man. Quiet, I suppose. We became friends of a sort at the inn.”
“I suppose that’s only natural. After all, there weren’t many people there, right? Mainly family?”
“That’s right. There was only the Brenneman family, me, and Levi.”
“And so because you spent so much time together, you two became close?”
Thinking back to their relationship, back to their walk, their time putting together the puzzle or sitting at the table with the family, Melody knew there was no easy way to describe their connection. “We did.”
“Exactly how close?”
Melody looked at her mom. Everything about her was full of hope, full of optimistic interest. With some surprise, she realized her mother was happy that Melody had reached out to anyone.
That realization helped Melody lower her guard a tiny bit. “As close as two people with little in common can get, I suppose.” Melody felt slightly guilty about smoothing over their many common traits, but she felt a little diffident about them, too. After all, they’d only spent six days together.
After all, could a relationship ever be based on a history of regrets?
“Perhaps he will come out this way and visit?”
“Perhaps. He, uh, said he would.”
“Would you care for that?”
“Of course. It is always nice to have company.” Melody felt her mother’s frustration like a tangible thing, but she didn’t care. This letter beside her was only the second one he’d sent, and the first hadn’t been all that personal.
But it still hadn’t stopped her heart from beating a little bit faster when she scanned his note. It still hadn’t prevented a little seedling of hope to spring forth, allowing her to imagine another life than the one she was living.
Another life that was better. Not that things were so terrible now, of course. If anything, a new sense of peace had bloomed in her family, in a way that Melody hadn’t imagined would be possible.
From the moment she’d gotten home, her parents had done nothing but treat Faith with love and awe. Her father had taken to being the first person to pick up her daughter the moment she made a peep.
And her sister May, well, May had been especially kind. Gone were the stilted conversations where her sister seemed to want to pretend that Melody had gotten pregnant by herself. Gone were the endless questions about her future.
Now things were settled, calm. Perhaps it was time to even contemplate her future.
“Mother, have I thanked you for everything?”
“Thanked me?” She leaned forward, the muscles in her neck cording, revealing her tension. “For what?”
“You know.”
She shook her head. The confusion on her face couldn’t be masked. With a start, Melody realized that her mother really didn’t know what she’d done. “You put your personal beliefs aside and got me help. Let me go to the counselor. And now, you and Daed are treating Faith with so much love …” Her voice drifted off.
They had done so much! How was it possible to sum it up as a mere list?
With a crack of her knees, her mother knelt in front of her and clasped her hands. “Child, you have everything all wrong. Your father and I never ‘let’ you go to the hospital or ‘let’ you get counseling in spite of our wishes, it was what we wanted. We yearned for you to heal. To feel better.”
“But you always seemed so upset.”
“We’ve been upset because of your circumstances, Melody, we didn’t push our feelings aside. We did just the opposite! We put everything we had toward you. I’m sorry if it didn’t seem that way.”
Before Melody could even figure out how to respond, there was a knock at the front door. “We have a visitor.”
“I tell you, life never seems to slow down, now, does it?” With a sigh, her mother climbed to her feet. “I’ll get it.”
Two minutes later, Leah raced in, bringing with her the fresh scent of winter and cold. And a truly beautiful smile. Melody stood up and hugged her. “This is a surprise.”
“It shouldn’t be. You should have known I wouldn’t be able to stay away. How’s our girl?”
“She is fine. Sleepy.” Her whole being seemed to swell with a love and pride she’d only imagined.
Leah knelt down in front of the bassinet. Gently, she pulled back Faith’s pink fleece blanket. “Oh, Melody,” she breathed. “She is so absolutely precious.”
“I think so.”
“And she already looks bigger!”
“I hope she is. My sister and I took her to the doctor yesterday for a checkup. The nurse said she was as healthy and precious a babe that she’d ever seen.”
“I’ll tell Zack. He’ll be so excited.”
“So … you’ve been talking to him?”
“Pretty much nonstop. Several times a day he’s either calling me or I’m calling him. Or we’re texting each other on our cell phones.”
“Oh, my.” An unfamiliar pang of jealousy for English toys hit her hard. What she would give to be able to hear Levi’s voice. To have a conversation with him … to have a chance to see if what they’d shared at the inn was more than the simple product of two people spending time together.
Eyes glowing, Leah added, “He’s coming out here tomorrow to meet my mom.”
“That sounds mighty serious.” She’d been anxious to ask Leah all about her new relationship with the handsome policeman, but they’d never had time to talk. In the car on the way home, Leah had been sitting up front by Zack’s side. She had been in the backseat of the cab, dozing off and on with Faith.
Then, of course, had been the excitement and commotion of her arrival home, with a baby.
Slowly, Leah nodded. “We really are. Actually, I think he’s the one.”
“Oh, my! What does your mamm think?”
“What do you think?” she asked dryly. “She thinks I’ve gone crazy. No one falls in love over the weekend. Of course, I’ve tried to tell her how Zack and I spent hours and hours together. I’ve spent more time with him alone than I have with some guys I’ve dated for six months.” She wrinkled her nose. “Do you think I’m being ridiculous, too?”
“No.” Actually, Melody knew exactly how Leah felt.
Green eyes warming, Leah smiled. “Somehow I thought you might say that. You got to know Levi pretty well, didn’t you?”
Looking at the envelope still beckoning her, Melody nodded. “We, too, became close.” Because she still didn’t trust herself, didn’t trust her instincts when it came to men, she pushed the conversation back to her girlfriend. “So what you feel with Zack, it feels right?”
“It feels better than that. It feels amazing. Perfect.”
“Perfect,” Melody repeated.
“But even though my mom thinks otherwise, we’re still not going to rush into anything. Zack and I both want to date for a while. Just to be sure we’re in love.”
“But you are?”
Leah nodded. “Absolutely. Zack makes me so happy. It’s like he’s been waiting for me. Like I’d been waiting for him.” Leah spread out her arms. “It feels like all of a sudden, I’m part of something greater than myself. Almost like when I became a Christian.”
“Truly?” With all her heart, Melody wanted to believe that such a thing was possible.
“When I found Jesus, I discovered that it had been like I was living in a tunnel, desperately only wanting to see what was in front of me, scared to look right or left, for fear that I may not like what I see … or like it too much. When I became a Christian, my blinders fell off. I could see the world with a better perspective. All the good and all the bad.”
“Because you knew you were looking at everything through the strength of God.”
“Exactly.” She laughed. “Now, I’m not trying to say Zack is a saint or anything, but what he h
as done for me is given me that same incredible sense of belonging. I feel better, just knowing that someone cares about me. Someone loves me so much that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me.”
Melody felt that way about Levi. “You’re not worried his mind will change?”
“No. Because there’s no little worried flutters in my belly, warning me to be smarter. To rethink things. Plus, Zack feels the same way.”
“I hope your mother will like him.”
“She will,” Leah said with her usual confidence. “She has to. He’s going to be part of my life forever. Now, tell me about Faith, here.”
Melody laughed as her daughter’s eyes popped open and looked around. “She’s wonderful-gut. Would you care to hold her?”
“Melody, I thought you’d never ask.”
Chapter 29
January 6, 3:00 P.M.
Somehow, their letter writing brought them together in a way that Levi imagined nothing else ever could. For Levi, writing letters to Melody meant he could take his time to phrase his thoughts. If he messed up, he could throw away the paper and start over.
He had done that more than a few times.
But the best thing for him had been that each note he’d sent to her described his true feelings. Not ones he wished he had. Or emotions he was fumbling with, trying so hard to describe. In a strange way, he liked the exercise very much.
Melody wrote him back with regularity as well. In contrast to his painfully neat efforts, Melody’s were thoughtful and deep. She wrote lots and lots … letting him see into the depths of her soul. Letting him see into her heart. She spared nothing in her letters, and the pages looked like it. Words were crossed out, rewritten. Then rewritten again.
And she wrote like she talked to him, he thought. Most times, she never wrote a letter in one sitting. No, she’d write a few paragraphs, then let him know that it was time to nurse Faith. Or that she was needed to help with the laundry.
Or she was taking a nap. Or, like in her last letter, she was going to go to work for a few hours while her mother watched the newborn.
Grace: A Christmas Sisters of the Heart Novel Page 19