by Penny Reid
“You would.”
I scowled at him. “Why would I do that?”
“Because, deep down, you like me.” He grinned. The grin looked entirely sincere, but also a little dangerous, and a lot sexy.
I crossed my arms over my chest, my water bottle dangling from my fingers, unimpressed with Sean Cassidy’s insincere smiles. “I would never—”
“Don’t you remember? At the end of season party back in Dublin?”
“I, uh . . .” I blinked, finally remembering. Okay, I had to admit, he had me there. “Look, maybe I did technically invite you, but that was before you bad-mouthed my brother over tuna.”
“I didn’t have tuna,” he denied as though tuna were horrifying.
“No, you had steak. I had tuna.”
“Oh yeah . . .” He nodded, his eyes shifting to the side, perhaps recalling his steak. Or my tuna. Or both. After a moment he shook himself and refocused on me. “And I’m sorry for that. Truly. I came here to de-stress, hoping to find a modicum of enlightenment and become less of a prick. Let’s be friends? Forgiveness is a virtue, Mini-Fitzpatrick.”
I pursed my lips and eyed him, trying to decide if he were being genuine. If he were faking the white flag routine then he certainly put on a good show. And really, if he was so determined to stay then there was nothing I could do to stop him.
What would it hurt to call a truce? Peace was the least stressful option available.
Huffing a breath, I replied, “Fine, we can be friends, just try to keep the prick side of your personality to yourself for a few days.”
He grinned again. “You’re in a lively mood.”
“Mmm-hmm, that’s what happens when people decide to gatecrash my sanctuary.”
I took a few steps forward and passed him by, uncapping my water bottle and taking a small gulp. Sean began to follow me through the trees, his shadow looming as we walked.
“So,” he broached, “who’s the Mocha Frappuccino back inside? Your boyfriend?”
I stopped immediately and turned to face him, my expression devoid of humor. “Could you be any more racist?”
“I’m not being racist. I’m being descriptive. I’ll have you know that some of the warmest nights of my life have been spent with women of color. Lovely, lovely colors.”
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about your conquests.” I started walking again, faster this time. Sean hurried to catch up.
“Why? Does it make you jealous?”
I laughed, incredulous. “It makes me feel sorry for all the women whose bathroom cabinets you’ve pilfered.”
Sean let out an amused-sounding laugh and brought the conversation back to where it had started. “You still haven’t answered my question, Lucy.”
I heaved a sigh. “No, Rick—Broderick—is just a friend.”
“Just a friend? Are you sure he’s not curious about the color of your knickers?”
“No. He’s a total lamb. He’s my best friend, so I’d appreciate it if you could keep your completely offensive comments to yourself when you meet him.”
“I’m not completely offensive. If you’re allowed to nickname me after a pale fermented-grape drink from France, then I can call—”
“Oh my God! Okay, you’re only mildly offensive, now can you please just shut up?”
Sean grinned and made a gesture as though zipping his mouth closed.
We’d reached the entrance to the house and I turned to him once more, emitting a long sigh. I didn’t want to be angry with Sean. I just wanted to enjoy the rest of my stay. He watched me as I considered what to say to him. In the end, I didn’t mince my words.
“Just . . . don’t be mean, okay? Try your hardest.”
His expression sobered and he gave me a tiny, almost non-existent nod. Without further ado, I hurried off to my room, needing some time alone to come to terms with the fact I’d be dealing with a daily dose of Sean Cassidy for the foreseeable future.
***
I spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out—not hiding out—in my room. First I took a nap. Then I got up and opened the windows to let in some fresh air. I ran a bath and put on a chill-out CD. After a long soak in the tub with some soothing essential oils, I felt a hundred times better equipped to face dinner.
We ate all our meals in the spacious communal dining hall, so there was a good likelihood Sean would be there. I blow-dried my hair, put on a cozy, over-sized woolen jumper and some leggings, then headed out to find Broderick. He was in the lounge area chatting with a couple women who were all BFFs and had come for a relaxation weekend. Broderick had a really amiable personality, which meant people tended to naturally gravitate toward him. He was just plain cool, from the way he walked, to the way he spoke, to the effortlessly styled clothes he wore.
“Hey,” I said, doing a little wave as I joined the group. The women all chirped their hellos.
“Lucy, where’ve you been all day?” Rick asked, coming to stand next to me.
“I just felt like taking some time to myself. Can we talk?”
“Sure, I’ll catch you all later,” he said to the women before standing and offering me his arm. We walked toward the dining hall and I let out a slow breath.
“So, do you remember the guy I was telling you about from back home?”
“The prick who plays rugby with your brother? Yeah.”
“He’s here right now. At the retreat.”
My friend sputtered a laugh. “For real?”
I grimaced. “I might have made the mistake of technically inviting him. It wasn’t a genuine invite. If anything, it was a sarcastic invite, but now he’s here and I’m kind of freaking out.”
“So some dude you’ve got a crush on is here. Big deal. You’re Lucy Fitzpatrick, you don’t get fazed by the small stuff.”
“I do not have a crush on him,” I argued. And little did he know, I was fazed by the small stuff. It was the whole reason I was so obsessed with meditation and finding inner peace. Otherwise, I’d probably have a nervous breakdown. Broderick shot me a wry look.
“Man, you want him bad.”
“I don’t.”
“Just let him bone you already.”
“Shut up, I mean it,” I hissed.
Rick laughed softly. “Be honest, you’ve been dreaming about weddings and babies for weeks, haven’t you?”
“What? No,” I scoffed, responding honestly. “Sean Cassidy is the last guy I’d ever want to marry.”
“Oh, I see.” Rick’s eyes narrowed, like he was assessing me. “No weddings and babies. You just want his hands up your skirt.”
“I’m not wearing a skirt.”
“Sorry. My bad. I shouldn’t have been so nebulous. You want to skip the missionary position and do it doggy style.”
I scowled, flushing red because he was so right, and my words escaped in a mortified rush, “I kind of hate you right now.”
Broderick was still laughing when we reached the dining hall and found a table, but thankfully he let the matter drop. Meanwhile, I was suffering from hot flashes.
For dinner we had the option of quinoa and avocado salad or a superfood soup medley, so I concentrated on making my selection. I opted for the quinoa with a side of hummus and raw veggies. Rick got the same and we chowed down in tense silence.
Well, I was tense. He was smirking.
I was still annoyed with him for teasing me about Sean when a familiar shadow fell over our table.
“Mind if I sit?” he asked and Rick glanced up. I focused intently on my food, ignoring the blooming heat low in my belly.
“Seat’s not taken.” Rick shrugged, motioning to the chair then holding out his hand when Sean was seated. “I’m Broderick, and you must be Sean.”
“That’s right. I take it my reputation precedes me.”
“Something like that,” Rick replied in a friendly manner.
The chair next to mine moved as Sean adjusted himself, his knee knocking mine under the table. Stupid long-legged
oaf. I crunched away on my salad, silent as a mouse, while Rick initiated conversation with Sean. He just wasn’t the sort of bloke to sit in awkward silences. Broderick could find something to talk about with anyone, from your grandmother to the man who came to clean the windows of your house.
“When did you arrive?”
“Just this morning,” Sean answered. “I’m really loving the setting. It’s very beautiful.”
I glanced at him now, wondering if his statement was true. Sean didn’t strike me as the type to appreciate the beauty of nature. Or maybe I was just being cynical, allowing the way he made me feel and how easily he could push my buttons, to cloud my judgment. Maybe my loyalty to my brother was interfering with how I saw him.
“It’s definitely pretty. We’ve been here for almost a week, haven’t we, Luce?” Rick kicked my leg under the table. “I don’t think either one of us wants to leave.”
I glanced between the two of them before realizing I was taking forever to answer. “No, um, no, we don’t want to leave.”
The sentence came out sounding odd and stilted. Sean smiled like I was cute and something reluctantly warmed within me. He rested his elbow on the back of my chair, his arm touching against my shoulder. I could tell he was looking at me but I concentrated on my food, unable to meet his gaze.
I was relieved when two of Rick’s lady friends came to join us, introducing themselves as Cindy and Lisa.
“It’s so nice to see another male face around,” said Lisa with what I thought might be a hint of flirtation. “You don’t get many men coming to places like this.”
“I like to think I’m comfortable enough in my masculinity to know when I need to take some time out, get back to basics and all that,” said Sean.
“It really is important,” Lisa nodded enthusiastically. “We’re all so bogged down by obligations and technology these days that we forget to breathe and just . . . be.”
“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Sean agreed.
God, he was such a schmooze.
Now Cindy joined in. “One of my favorite Deepak Chopra quotes says, ‘In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.’ I feel like I can truly be still in a place like this.”
“Do you know, I’ve never heard that one before,” said Sean before turning his head to me. “Do you try to keep stillness inside of you, too, Lucy?”
He was trying to embarrass me, but I wouldn’t let him succeed. Instead I came up with a subtle put-down. “I’m more of a Gandhi girl myself. I particularly liked it when he said, ‘You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.’” I smiled at him while bringing a carrot stick to my mouth and taking a bite.
Sean’s eyes gleamed like I’d just baited him to a challenge he was happy to accept. Perhaps I’d bitten off more than I could chew – literally and figuratively.
“Ah, we can all benefit from getting a little dirty every once in a while,” he quipped and Lisa chortled. Yes, chortled. I cast my eyes to Rick and his face said it all, hey, you dug your own hole with that one.
Sean moved so it wasn’t just his elbow resting on the back of my chair now, but the entire length of his arm. His heat sent a bolt of electricity shooting right through me and I shifted in place, unsure how I felt about his closeness. His cologne was nice, that was a positive, but he was starting to make me feel penned in, that was a negative. He hadn’t said anything mean yet, that was another positive. Man, were Sean Cassidy’s positives actually outweighing his negatives?
“So, what’s a fella got to do to get some meat around here?” he asked, not looking too excited about the salad in front of him.
“This is a vegetarian retreat,” I answered. “Didn’t you read that in the brochure?”
He scratched lightly at the stubble growing on his jaw and frowned. “No, it was more an impulse decision to come here.”
“My husband loves his meat, too,” said Cindy. “I can take or leave it, but I do like to detox every couple of months. It’s highly beneficial for the digestive system.”
“You see,” I smiled widely at Sean. “A few meat-free days will do you the world of good.”
He didn’t look like he believed me.
“If we had more time, we could’ve hit up one of the nearby restaurants, but tomorrow is the last full day,” Rick offered. “I’ve been craving a steak.”
“That sounds like a great idea. We should go tomorrow,” Sean enthused. “Will you come with us, Lucy?”
“I can’t. I’m washing my hair.”
“We haven’t decided what time we’re going yet,” said Rick, the Judas.
“And your hair doesn’t need to be washed,” Sean added, leaning in to take a whiff.
I shot him a startled look. “Did you just smell my hair?”
He stared at me. “Yes.”
“Well . . . don’t.”
“I’d love to come, if you do go,” Lisa put in, inviting herself. “We could go for a drive and see some of the sights beforehand.”
“Oh, that’s a wonderful idea,” said Cindy.
“So, are you in?” Sean asked, refusing to drop the subject.
“Like I said, these locks won’t wash themselves.”
Both Cindy and Lisa were occupied in discussing the idea of venturing outside the grounds of the retreat with Rick, while Sean kept his attention focused on me.
“What will it take to get you to relax and enjoy my company?” he asked. “Do you want me to buy you something?”
“What? No.”
“A car, maybe?”
I blinked at him, stunned. I was stunned because he was completely serious.
“Well, that escalated quickly,” I mumbled under my breath, still shocked.
“What’s your favorite color?”
“You’re not buying me a car.”
“Why not?”
“Because, why would you?”
“Because I want to.”
“It’s weird, Sean.”
“No, it’s not.”
I scoffed. “God, you’re completely out of touch.”
“I agree. It’s a terrible problem. I should touch you,” he answered low, and there was something about the way he said it that had my mind conjuring up all sorts of unwelcome images.
I surprised even myself when I turned my body so I faced him. My mouth was only inches from his when I replied quietly, “Are you sure you want to do that? Touch me and I’ll touch you back.”
I watched him swallow and a triumphant rush went through me to know my words had affected him. So he definitely wasn’t pretending. Sean Cassidy actually liked me. Wow.
“Which cabin is yours?” he asked.
I laughed. “I’m not telling you that.”
“Why not? We could be right next door to each other and not even know.”
“Rick’s cabin is next to mine, so no, we couldn’t.”
Sean’s lips curved into a smile. “Ah, so I’ll just ask which one’s his to find yours.”
“Your skills of deduction truly astound me,” I deadpanned.
His tone turned contemplative. “You know, I think you may have offered up the information because you subconsciously want me to find you. Shall I sneak in later? Crawl into your bed and wake you up with my head between your thighs?”
I raised both my eyebrows and pointed at him with my fork. “That is quite possibly the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. Do women typically enjoy this sort of talk?”
He seemed a touch petulant. “Yes, they do.”
His response lacked the usual Cassidy confidence and it made me curious. Perhaps he wasn’t the lothario he liked to lead people to believe.
“Are you sure? Because if I ever woke up with a strange man’s head between my legs I’d be straight on the phone to the authorities.” I tried to keep a sober face but cracked up a second later. Sean shot me a look of annoyance that I’d foiled his attempt at sexy talk.
“What’s so funny?” Rick asked, turning his attention away from Lisa and Cindy.
I leaned forward on the table. “So, hypothetical question. If you woke up in the middle of the night and a woman you didn’t know, or say you knew in passing, was giving you a blowjob, what would your immediate reaction be?”
Lisa and Cindy wore identical expressions of WTF but Rick wasn’t even fazed.
See? This was the reason we were friends.
“That depends. How exactly do I know her? Does she work in the local coffee house or is she the mother of a friend of a friend?”
I grinned. “I really want to go with the latter option, because . . . weird, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s imagine she’s the barista at your favorite coffee shop. She’s pretty, gives good head, but you know, she’s in your house, in your bedroom, and she’s taken the liberty of putting your cock in her mouth. What do you do?”
“This is a very strange conversation,” said Lisa.
“I don’t see the point,” added Cindy.
“Humor me,” I told the both of them. “There’s a point, I promise.”
Sean made a sound next to me, kind of a growly sigh.
“And tell me this,” Rick went on, seeming to enjoy the imaginary scenario, “when I go in for coffee, me and this chick, do we chit-chat, banter back and forth, or are we all business?”
“Does it have an influence on your answer?” I asked with a wide grin.
“Well, if we have a friendly vibe going on, maybe I mistakenly gave her the impression I wanted her to enter my house uninvited for oral fun. I can’t lose my shit if I’ve led her on.”
“Okay. You’re friendly to the extent that you say hello and know each other’s name, but you don’t chit-chat.”
“Right,” he chewed on his lip. “I think I’d have to respectfully ask her to leave, then report the incident to the cops. I mean, this woman is obviously psychologically unhinged.”
I sent a pointed look Sean’s way. “You see. It is creepy. I think you need to cut this whole scenario from your dirty-talk repertoire.”
My victory didn’t last very long because Sean just sat there staring at me, neither a smile nor a frown on his face. He looked like he didn’t know what to say, but also a little like he wanted to bend me over his knee and punish me for my behavior.