by Penny Reid
“You shouldn’t say things like that,” I blurted.
“Why not?”
“Because they mix me up.”
His attention dropped to my lips. “Would that be so bad?”
“Yes.” I nodded once, very emphatically, and paired it with a strained laugh, speaking louder than was strictly necessary. “It would be the worst.”
He narrowed his eyes as though to protest, but I scrunched up my face at him, forcing playfulness. Pulling my hand out of his, I pointed a teasing finger of accusation in his face. I needed to break the tension.
“And you know why it would be the worst. So keep your compliments and hands to yourself while I’m trying to work.”
Because I’m weak when you’re kind to me, and I need to be strong. These were the words I left unsaid.
He didn’t respond. Instead, he just stared at me like he wanted to argue.
The taxi pulled to a stop and I dragged my attention away from Sean to see we’d arrived just down the street from Le Cirque. I made myself focus on work, in truth happy to have an excuse to change the subject, and craned my neck. I soon spotted a gaggle of photographers already gathered outside. They were hanging back, chatting amongst themselves, so I knew the happy couple weren’t there yet.
Sean’s hand went to my lower back as he ushered me out and I realized he’d already paid the driver. When we were on the street his hand still remained in place, and something fizzled in my tummy at the idea of us being together like this in public. In a way, I adored the anonymity. Nobody knew us here, who our families were, or where we came from, nor did they know all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together.
Catching sight of Mackenzie’s jet-black ponytail and red-tartan bomber jacket, I led Sean over before tapping her on the shoulder, trying to shake off the residual feelings of unrest caused by his closeness, and words, and . . . everything.
She turned and broke into a wide smile when she saw me, her expressive green eyes framed by thick tortoiseshell glasses.
“Lucy! I missed you,” she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug.
“Missed you, too. Any sign of Carly and Dean yet?” I asked and she shook her head.
“No sightings of Carl-D so far. I’m trying to make Carl-D a thing, do you think it will take?” She grinned impishly but then her mouth fell open when her eyes landed on Sean. She peered up at his face, her attention traveling slowly down his body before she let out a choked cough.
“Uh,” she croaked. I thought she might be a little tongue-tied.
“This is Sean. He’s my, um, my friend from back home,” I said, still feeling a bit muddled myself as I introduced him.
“Hi,” said Mackenzie, her voice going all weird and breathy. She’d always told me she became a stuttering mess around attractive men, but I’d never seen it in action until now.
“And this my friend Mackenzie,” I went on. “Sean, Mackenzie, Mackenzie, Sean.”
“It’s a pleasure,” Sean purred, taking her hand and lifting it to his mouth for a brief kiss. I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering if he did it on purpose just to fluster her.
“Oh my God, your accent,” Mackenzie blurted and then turned bright fuchsia. She glanced at me and not so discreetly mouthed wow.
Out of the corner of my eye I noticed two black SUVs arrive and hurried to pull out my phone. Mackenzie flew into action too, grabbing her camera that had been hanging around her neck, lifting it to eye level.
I held up my phone, frustrated by how far back we were. There were too many people in front of me and I couldn’t seem to get a decent shot. Since Mackenzie was a good few inches taller, she didn’t have the same problem.
“What’s wrong?” Sean asked, his arm brushing against mine as he drew close.
I huffed. “My vantage point is too low. I can’t get any good pictures.”
“Well, that’s easily remedied,” he said, and without another word he lifted me. I squealed in surprise as he hoisted me up onto his shoulders. Apparently I weighed absolutely nothing.
“Sean,” I yelped on a small, startled gasp.
“I’m just trying to help you,” he said, gripping my thighs, which were currently straddling the back of his neck. “Now quick, get your pictures before they go inside.”
I swallowed and turned my attention to the A-list couple who were now being ushered into the restaurant by their security team. The camera on my phone was decent, but the flashes from the photographers all around me were blurring my shots. I managed to get a decent one of Dean with his hand on Carly’s lower back, and I knew our female readers would either love or loathe the affectionate gesture, depending on what sort of fans they were.
Sean had done the exact same thing to me as we got out of the taxi. The thought caused a flutter of girlish exhilaration to rush through my belly. I needed to get a handle on this girlish exhilaration. This girlish exhilaration needed a reality check. Maybe even a bitch-slap.
One of his hands lightly squeezed my thigh and I yelped again. “Hey, behave,” I warned, glancing down at him. He shot me a smirk and then a flash blinded me. Turning my head, I saw Mackenzie facing us, snapping a picture.
I shot her a look. “What are you doing?”
She shrugged and glanced down, lowering her camera. “Sorry. You two are just adorable together.”
“Delete the picture, please,” I said, a spike of panic causing my back to straighten.
“Why?” she asked, not understanding.
“Just please delete it, Mack,” I said and she nodded. There couldn’t be any photographic evidence out there of our relationship—no, not relationship, agreement— because if it ever fell into the wrong hands, my brother would have my guts for garters.
Just like that, I emerged from the Sean Cassidy spell, because Ronan really would have my guts for garters. Being with Sean wouldn’t just anger Ronan, it would hurt him. He would feel betrayed.
And I’d rather chew on glass than hurt my brother.
Sean let out a sigh, like he was frustrated by something, then began lowering me down his body. Once my feet hit the ground, I tried to ignore the frown marring his features and clung to the sobering thought of Ronan.
“I need to eat. Let’s go.” Sean grabbed my hand somewhat gruffly. “Again, it was a pleasure to meet you, Mackenzie.”
I gave her an apologetic smile, told her I’d call her tomorrow, and then let Sean drag me away. We walked for a while in heavy silence, me fixating on Ronan’s reaction if he were to find out, Sean growing visibly more aggravated with each step.
Soon the roaring sound of his silence eclipsed my concern over Ronan discovering my disloyalty, and I pulled us to a halt. “You know, it’s a little weird to be holding someone’s hand when they’re angry with you.”
He arched a brow and glanced down at me. “I’m not angry with you. I’m . . . disappointed in you. There’s a difference.”
“You’re disappointed in me?” I asked, a pang of guilt seizing my chest. This day had gone from simple to complicated at an alarming rate. I’d woken up with a sturdy sense of self and a plan to give Sean a blow job. Just a blow job. An exercise in delayed gratification. A simple, impersonal lesson.
Now look where we were.
So much for well-laid plans.
Sean turned to face me. “Yes, Lucy, I am. Tell me, how is it that a girl with wild rainbow hair and such a fun, carefree spirit could care so much about what other people think?”
“You know why.” I stared at the ground because his gaze was too heavy for me to hold.
I felt him studying me as his hand came up to cup one of my cheeks. Finally, he let out a long sigh and said, “I’ll let you have it your way this time.”
His words multiplied my confusion, because as far we’d agreed, no one was ever supposed to find out about us. He told me himself he’d make sure Ronan never discovered what was happening.
The scary, inconvenient feelings that I didn’t want to think about flared more powerful than before.<
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I liked Sean Cassidy. I liked him with something more than just my vagina.
Giving him a barely there nod, I suggested, “There’s a really good hot dog kiosk nearby, if you’re still hungry, that is.”
His brow furrowed. “I thought you were a vegetarian?”
Thankful for the change in subject, I decided to run with it. “Only when I’m detoxing, the rest of the time I eat meat. Do you know how much we could reduce environmental damage if we all had one vegetarian day per week?”
“I didn’t, but thank you for informing me,” he said. I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic.
“You should consider taking part in World Meat Free Day this year.” I nudged him encouragingly with my elbow. “I’m doing it, and so is Rick.”
“You can’t maintain a physique like mine by surviving on chickpeas,” Sean replied. “Now come on, let’s go get some street meat for dinner. You really do know how to treat a man.”
“Oh, don’t be such a snob,” I chided, laughing, and led him in the direction of the kiosk.
Along the way I spotted a guy playing Frisbee with his dog in the park. Pulling out my phone, I snapped a few shots. Sean arched a questioning brow in my direction, so I explained, “Taking pictures of animals is a hobby of mine. I’ve been collecting them for a while now. I’m actually hoping to set up a blog. Instead of Humans of New York, it could be Animals of New York. Or something like that. I don’t know. Maybe it’s silly.”
“I don’t think it’s silly,” said Sean warmly. “I think it’s a great idea. Plus, if the millions of views videos of kittens get on YouTube is anything to go by, there’s certainly a market for it.”
I shrugged, bashful but pleased he hadn’t thought it a stupid idea. When I’d told Mam about it she’d laughed and said I was just trying to find another way not to have a real job.
“I thought I could pair stories with the pictures, too,” I went on. “At the animal shelter we always get dogs coming in with tales of abandonment or how they’ve been left to fend for themselves. I feel like people need to hear their stories.”
Sean nodded enthusiastically. “And if these dogs get adopted into homes, you know, rehabilitated, you could add that, too. Give the story a happy ending.”
I smiled widely, taken aback by his suggestion. “That’s a lovely idea. Anyone might think you have a soft heart under all that muscle and brawn, Sean Cassidy,” I teased.
He lifted a shoulder. “I just like a good underdog story, that’s all. Every stray deserves a chance at love.” He stared at me a moment, and I was captured by the sincerity in his gaze. After a second, he grew self-conscious. “And you know, a home, a warm bed to sleep in at night.”
“You’re right. No dog, or person for that matter, should ever be left out in the cold.”
Right after I said it, Sean seemed to still, like I’d just said something that resonated with him. The intensity coming from him was almost too much, so I decided to move the conversation along.
“Anyway, if you’re interested, you should come along with me to the shelter some time. They always need the extra help, and I’m sure they’d be more than happy to welcome a big strong guy like you. There’s this gigantic malamute named Stan, and I swear he’s so powerful he almost pulls my arm from the socket when I take him for walks.”
Sean chuckled loudly. “When I was a kid I had an Irish wolfhound. His name was Wolfie, original, I know. The dog was huge. Up until I had my growth spurt at fourteen he’d run circles around me.”
I could tell by the way he spoke about the pet that he’d loved him, and something in my heart warmed to think of Sean loving something other than himself. It was a dangerous sort of warmth, one that could transform into true feelings if left unattended.
“I wish I could have met him.”
“He was . . . a good friend. I had him for ten years. He died when I was twenty-one and I never quite had it in me to get another. This is going to sound ridiculous, but it was like losing a person,” he said, laughing tenderly as I heard something catch in his voice.
I grabbed his arm and squeezed it. “It’s not ridiculous, far from it. You loved him. And,” I went on, grinning now, “as far as I’m concerned, dogs are people, so never let anyone tell you otherwise.”
Sean smiled back at me, and in that moment it felt like we truly “got” each other.
We walked a bit farther in comfortable silence, the type of pleasant limbo one shares with a friend, until we reached the hot dog kiosk. Once there, I ordered for him, and then we sat on a nearby park bench to eat. Sean took several giant bites out of his hot dog and it was already gone. I was a little bit stunned by how fast he ate.
“Wow, do you rush through everything the same way you rush through sex?” I asked honestly, truly wanting to know. Meanwhile, my entire hot dog sat untouched in my lap.
He considered me as he chewed the final bite. “That’s a low blow, but yes, I just don’t see the point in waiting around. If you want something, go for it.”
“Well,” I said, lowering my voice, “you don’t know what you’re missing. There’s a lot to be said for savoring things.”
“Are we talking about hot dogs now, or sex? Because I’m a little confused.”
I lifted my shoulders then let them fall. “We’re talking everything. Sex, art, books, movies. Would you put on a DVD and fast-forward right to the end? No, because then you can’t enjoy the progression of the story.”
“So this is like the foreplay thing again, right? You want me to tease it out, take my time, tantalize you.” His grin was devilish.
“Exactly,” I said, finally lifting my hotdog and taking a bite. I chewed slowly, then swallowed before turning back to him. “If you just shove food down your throat you’re going to miss out on all the wonderful flavors.”
He was focused on me now, his eyes growing hooded and sexy. “Speaking of, when do I get to taste your flavors again, Lucy?”
I cleared my throat, unable to meet his gaze but still trying for sassy. “No one’s stopping you, Bubs.”
He let out a deep, hearty laugh and draped an arm around my shoulders. “I’m not sure that nickname suits me anymore. Think of another one,” he said in a husky tone.
“Bubs suits you perfectly,” I threw back. “Besides, you don’t even know what it really means yet.”
Now he angled his body toward me, closing the distance between us. “You lied?”
“Maybe.”
His expression showed intrigue. “Tell me.”
I grimaced slightly, because let’s face it, the true meaning of his nickname was kind of embarrassing. “That night we first spoke, I named you Bubs in my head because of your bubble butt.”
“My . . . bubble butt?” He looked genuinely perplexed.
“Oh, don’t give me that. You know your arse is fantastic.”
He laughed softly and leaned down to brush his lips over the underside of my jaw. “So is yours, as it happens.” A pause. “How far are we from your place?”
“Not far.”
“Let’s go, then,” he urged. “All this talk of backsides has me wanting to take you from behind.”
I gasped a surprised laugh, because he really did just say whatever the hell he wanted sometimes. When our eyes met, his had darkened, and I swallowed amid the rush of arousal I felt.
My hunger suddenly forgotten and replaced with a different kind, I wrapped up my hot dog and stowed it in my bag. Not allowing myself to think too much about my actions, we caught another taxi to Annie’s apartment and before I knew it, I was leading Sean up the stairs, a ball of anticipation forming in my belly.
I was a pile of jittery nerves and horniness. Sean ran a hand up and down my back while I searched for my keys. Then, to my horror, I heard movement come from inside.
Realization dawned on me, and I had just enough time to shove Sean away and out of sight before Annie opened the door.
“Lucy,” she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug. “I’m g
lad you’re back. We just arrived at the airport an hour ago.”
“Hey Annie, I didn’t realize you were coming to visit,” I said, turning her just slightly so I could cast my panicked gaze briefly to Sean over her shoulder. Go, I mouthed at him and he seemed to get the message. Quickly turning and striding back down the hallway, I could finally breathe when he disappeared out of sight. He didn’t seem happy though, not one bit.
For a second I wished I could call him back, say to hell with all the secrecy and just tell my brother that Sean and I were friends . . . with some sort of benefits. Unfortunately, I wasn’t quite equipped to deal with WW3 just yet.
My heart continued to pitter-patter in my chest, still in panic mode.
“I know,” said Annie, ushering me into the apartment. “Ronan has a photo shoot with Adidas this week, so I thought I’d come along. We’re only back for a few nights. There’s so much to be done for the wedding so we can’t be gone long. A flying visit, really.”
“Oh well, I’m happy you’re here, even if it’s only for a little while,” I said.
I heard a cupboard slam and then my brother emerged from the kitchen. “There’s nothing to eat,” he grumbled before he saw me.
“Lucy, when did you get back from New Hampshire?” he asked as he came to give me a hug. I was stiff and awkward considering the fact I’d almost tumbled into the apartment, ready to do very naughty things with his archnemesis.
“Just yesterday morning,” I answered. “Broderick drove us back.”
My brother’s attention was quickly drawn to other matters. “What’s that smell? Did you bring food home? Please say yes.”
“Oh, yes, I did actually,” I answered and fumbled in my bag for the hot dog. Ronan yanked it straight out of my hand and dug right in.
“I shouldn’t be eating this.”
“It’s the offseason. You can have one hot dog.” Annie laughed, shaking her head at my brother.
“Man, why does fast food always taste so good?” he groaned.