Healing the Doctor's Heart

by Shirley Hailstock

  “Cal!” Jake stopped pacing and glared at her. “Is he in on this too?”

  Lauren said nothing.

  “I should have known.” He flung the words. “He did the background check. Handed it to me, but I never read it. I trusted him.”

  “Jake, listen. He was thinking of you.”

  “By deceiving me? By sending you here to spy on me.”

  “I never spied on you.”

  “Is that true? You didn’t talk to my brother, give him progress reports on my condition? You didn’t tell him I drove a car or that I was working with the hospital?”

  Lauren did all those things. “You make it sound like I was doing something terrible. Caleb is concerned about you.”

  “I specifically told Cal I did not want any more doctors prodding me, and he finds you. And you’re good.”

  He put his left hand over his heart. “And now I’m better. I can drive and I can work. I guess your job is done. You’re no longer the keeper of secrets. You can leave anytime now.”

  “Jake!”

  He turned and headed up the stairs. Lauren called after him, but he didn’t stop and he didn’t look back. The slamming of his bedroom door was as powerful a statement as if he’d closed it in her face.

  Lauren walked slowly up the stairs. She knew this day would come. She knew it was time she left, but she wanted to go as a friend, not as an enemy.

  Jake had told her to leave. If she could leave tonight, she would. But she had to pack and she didn’t trust herself to drive. Not that she had anywhere to go except Amy’s. And she wouldn’t call Amy at this time of night and tell her she was moving in.

  One more night in the apartment with Jake only a few doors away. She was unlikely to see him again. She’d take the image of him running up the steps and slamming the door as their last encounter.

  Lauren pulled her suitcase from the closet and set it on the bed.

  * * *

  THE NIGHT HAD been one of her worst. Lauren hadn’t slept at all. She’d tossed and turned reliving the argument with Jake. There was nothing she could say to defend herself. He was right about her having every opportunity to tell him that she was a doctor. But she’d promised Caleb that she wouldn’t tell Jake that fact. Her job was to help Jake when he needed assistance, that she had helped to convince him to rejoin the world meant so much more.

  Yes. She had done that.

  But that was over now. Lauren was packed and ready to leave long before the sun rose, though she waited until daylight to open the door to the hall and slip out of her room.

  She looked around for the last time. She loved this apartment. Being here, above the city, seeing its beauty, had felt an escape from the pain that was her constant companion. Being with Jake gave her a purpose. She had someone to concentrate on instead of spending her days and nights remembering her loss.

  She adjusted the purse on her shoulder and opened the front door. She carried a single suitcase. All she had to account for her time with Jake was a small suitcase of clothes. Even the costumes fit inside. Lauren took one last look back. As she stepped into the hall, she felt like she was leaving part of herself behind. In fact, she’d lost her heart.

  Her car was in the garage close to the building. After putting her case in the trunk, she got behind the wheel and started the engine. It wasn’t like Jake’s sports car. Hers was a Lexus, powerful but practical. Pulling out of the parking space, she looked up. She couldn’t see anything. She wasn’t even out of the neighborhood, but she wondered if Jake would notice she was gone. Maybe when his arm began to hurt again.

  She’d miss him. She already missed him.

  * * *

  JAKE’S EYES WERE scratchy and his throat was parched. He’d been so angry when he left her at the bottom of the stairs. Sleep eluded him for hours. He’d finally fallen asleep as the sun was rising and slept only an hour. He hated arguing with Lauren, but how could she deceive him that way? And what about Cal? They’d both been in on it. He found the report on her that Cal had given to him and there was nothing in it stating she was a doctor. All the while she’d been with him, it was because she needed to monitor him.

  He should have recognized it. In hindsight, the clues were obvious. She pronounced medical terms correctly, while a layman would falter over them. She seemed to understand his feelings, know when he was in distress and exactly what to do for it. And he’d ignored it. The thought that these skills were signs of a trained medical professional never entered his mind.

  Jake knew why. He’d been so impressed and intrigued by her. He liked talking to her and being with her. He’d miss her when she left. But before that, they had to have some kind of closure.

  Dr. Lauren Graves, Lori to her friends. He’d looked her up on the internet. She was a prominent pediatrician. Though not a surgeon, the articles she wrote in the medical journals were numerous. He found her bio. She’d grown up in a small town in western Maryland, gone to Catholic University, then to Johns Hopkins Medical School. She’d done a residency at Brooklyn Pediatric Hospital and set up her own practice.

  There were photos of the medical arts building where she had her offices and several of her with various hairstyles, but always the same smile. Jake softened a bit at seeing it. Then he snapped the cover of the computer closed and tried to sleep.

  Showering and dressing took little time. Leaving his bedroom, he went down the steps, not knowing what he would say to Lauren when they came face-to-face. He could smell the coffee, so she was most likely in the kitchen, where they’d prepared meals together, cleaned up together and talked about their days. On his way to the kitchen, he saw the bag by the door. As if it were a living thing, Jake stopped. His body seemed to turn to ice as a thought slipped into his mind that couldn’t be true.

  It was the carpetbag Lauren had used with her nanny costume. It sat sadly on its own as if it had been left behind on purpose. He almost expected it to disappear before his eyes.

  “Lauren,” he called, looking up. There was no reply and her door was ajar. “Lauren,” he called louder and again no reply. He suddenly had the feeling that he was alone. She was not upstairs. He took two steps toward the stairs and was suddenly running. He kept calling her name as he bounded up the staircase.

  Pushing the door wide open, he stopped. The room was perfect. The bed was made. The curtains allowed the bright morning sunlight to stream through the room.

  But Lauren was not present.

  The soft fragrance of lilac hung in the air, a reminder that she hadn’t been a figment of his imagination. The dresser was cleared of her things. One by one he pulled the drawers out. Everything she owned was gone. The same with the closet. Only empty hangers were there as if this had been a hotel room and her stay had ended.

  “The lilacs,” he said out loud. The scent lingered. “She has to be close.”

  Jake left the apartment at a dead run. The garage where she parked her car was down the street. He didn’t take time to worry about his clothing or the fact that he had no shoes on. He punched the elevator button over and over, forcing the action to make it come faster. He got inside, drumming his fingers on the railing as the small car descended to the ground floor. As soon as the elevator doors opened, he headed to the garage.

  He had to find Lauren. He needed to tell her to stay. He had to let her know he’d fallen in love with her, and despite the fact that she had kept her true profession from him, he wanted her to stay. He needed her like he needed to breathe.

  The garage was underground and he didn’t know what level she was on. He ran down the ramp and started searching level by level, listening for the sound of a car. He heard one and headed in the direction of the purring engine. The car was moving fast when he sighted it. And it was heading straight for him.

  The driver hit the brake hard. Jake jumped out of the way. The car swerved and started to fishtail. He jumped out of the
way as it plowed into a support pole. The engine immediately began to hiss. Jake heard the exploding air bag as it deployed. Running as hard as he could, he reached the vehicle.

  Lauren sat slumped against the driver’s bag. Without thinking, Jake yanked the car door open and caught Lauren in both hands as her body began to slide sideways.

  It was only when he’d pulled his cell phone out and dialed 9-1-1 that he realized he was using his right hand.

  * * *

  WHY HADN’T JAKE ever noticed that the bright white of hospital sheets made the patient look pale? Lauren hadn’t come to in the car. Jake had horrible moments waiting for the ambulance. Then the police and EMTs forced him to back away while they took care of getting Lauren out of the car and on the way to the hospital. Not allowed to ride with them, he followed in his own car, the same car Lauren had forced him to drive. Only this time he was using both hands.

  Jake held her hand as she lay recovering from surgery. She’d been asleep all day and night. Several nurses had come in to monitor her, and asked him to leave. He refused. He wanted to be there when she opened her eyes. He wanted to apologize and tell her how much she meant to him. He wanted to tell her about his arm. She should be the first to know. She’d believed that he could eventually move it. She’d also coaxed him into believing that if motion never returned, there were things he could still do and be satisfied doing them. Of course, the doctors, therapists and nurses he’d seen had gotten there ahead of Lauren with that knowledge. She was taken to Jake’s former hospital, and had not wakened before she had to go to surgery.

  Many of the doctors knew Jake and urged him to let them examine his arm. He refused. Only when Lauren woke, and they talked, would he do it. He knew she would tell him he should have been examined already. But he wanted to see her conscious first.

  When the hospital room door opened, Jake turned, expecting to find another nurse, but there was someone else coming in. Amy. He remembered her from the party that had Lauren organized for his birthday. She looked worried and harried, and Jake could understand why. She was breathing hard and her eyes moved from him to Lauren and back again.

  “Jake,” she said.

  He nodded.

  Coming forward, she extended her hand and Jake took it. She didn’t let go, but looked down and kept holding on to him.

  “I thought...” She trailed off.

  “Movement only came back yesterday,” he said, leaving out the circumstances that led to it happening.

  Dropping his hand, she said, “The hospital called me.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t think of it. I’ve just been so focused on Lauren.” Should he try to contact her ex-husband?

  * * *

  “HOW IS LAUREN DOING?”

  Jake nodded. “She’s doing okay. Surgery went well. She’s sleeping.”

  “Is she going to be all right?”

  “That’s the prognosis.”

  Amy seemed to relax at that. She walked around the bed and looked down. “How long before she wakes up?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “Excuse me for saying it, but you look like you’ve been here a long while.”

  “Since they brought her in.”

  “I’m here now and I’ll stay for a few hours. You can go and get some sleep.”

  Jake appreciated the offer, and even though he admitted he probably did look bad, he wasn’t about to go. “I’m all right,” he said.

  “I’ve heard that before. You need rest.”

  “My sentiments exactly.”

  They both turned to see who had entered the room.

  “You’ve been here a while,” Dr. Chase said. “It’s time we looked at that arm. Plus, your test results are still here, waiting for you. Let’s go over them.”

  Jake knew the ramifications of what he was doing. He also knew things could go either way. He could revert to nonuse or he could regain it totally. He glanced at Lauren, who looked the same. She probably wouldn’t wake until he returned.

  “I promise, if she wakes up, they’ll come and get us,” Dr. Chase said.

  “She’d want you to go,” Amy whispered so only he could hear.

  Jake knew she was right.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  LAUREN MOANED AND opened her eyes. She closed them immediately. Everything hurt, but mainly it was her head. The accident.

  “Jake,” she murmured.

  “I’m here.”

  She heard his voice, tried to turn her head, but the pain stopped her. It was intense, unlike anything she’d felt before. Hands touched her shoulders.

  “You’re all right,” Jake soothed. “Lie still. I’ll get someone.”

  “Are you...” She tried to speak through the pain. “Did I hit you?”

  “I’m fine. I’m better than fine,” he said. She heard the emotion in his voice, even though her eyes were closed.

  The door opened and she heard the rustle of feet coming toward her. She knew the sound.

  “Dr. Masters, we’ll have to ask you to leave,” an official no-nonsense voice told him.

  Lauren felt the pressure of his hand against her shoulder. He released it and she thought she was being abandoned.

  “I’ll be right outside the door,” he said.

  Lauren would have smiled, if the pain in her head wasn’t so awful.

  When asked how she felt, she told them about the pain and almost immediately it subsided. Lauren could think more clearly with the pain no longer having such a hold of her. She realized the nurse must have added something to her IV.

  Her questions were answered by the nurse, who explained which hospital she was in, that she was the only victim of the accident and that she’d been in the hospital overnight.

  The doctor explained that she’d had surgery for internal bleeding, but they expected no lasting complications.

  “When can I go home?” she asked.

  “Give it a day or two,” the doctor replied.

  Lauren tried to remain calm. She wouldn’t be able to find a new place to live and work as soon as she expected. Jake was fine. She hadn’t hurt him. Recovery from internal bleeding could take weeks before her strength returned. She was no longer welcome at Jake’s and now that he knew she was a doctor, he likely wouldn’t speak to her ever again.

  She’d never regret a single moment of the time she spent getting to know him.

  Amy came in, rushing to Lauren’s side. “How are you?” she asked.

  “Better now that they gave me something for the pain.”

  “Did they say—”

  She didn’t get to finish. The door opened and Jake came in. Amy whispered that she had to leave, but she’d be back the next day.

  Then she was alone with Jake.

  * * *

  LAUREN WAS ALMOST in tears looking at Jake. She was relieved that he was all right.

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “Sorry for what?” He came to the bed where she lay. Lauren watched every step he took.

  “I nearly killed you.”

  He smiled. “You didn’t. I jumped in time. Shouldn’t have been in your way in the first place. But forget about me, it’s you we need to focus on here.” He looked at her from head to toe.

  Lauren didn’t understand. She was having a hard time concentrating. Her headache was coming back.

  “You must be tired,” he said.

  She didn’t reply. She was tired. For some reason, she didn’t seem to be able to stay awake more than a few minutes. It was probably the meds, she thought before yawning again.

  “I’ll leave now and come back tomorrow.”

  He bent over and kissed her forehead. Lauren looked up, wondering why he did that. Then he kissed her lightly on the mouth and leaned back. She licked her lips, drawing the taste of him inside.

  Before
she could say anything else, he was going out the door. And she was falling asleep again.

  * * *

  “LAUREN.”

  Opening her eyes at the sound of her name, she squinted, recognizing Amy.

  “Hi, Amy.” Her mind was fuzzy. Had she seen Amy today? How long had she been in the hospital? Lauren yawned. “What did they give me?” she asked no one in particular. Her eyes were heavy and she closed them.

  When Lauren opened her eyes the next time, the room was empty and it was still dark outside. She was thirsty and her stomach felt tight. She reached down and felt the bandages. She wanted to see what the surgeon had done, but knew that wasn’t something she should do. She lay back and pushed the call button.

  Immediately, the door opened and a nurse came inside. “How do you feel, Dr. Graves?”

  “Thirsty,” she said.

  The nurse poured her a small cup and used a straw to help her drink.

  “Is Dr. Masters here?” She remembered seeing him. How long ago was that?

  “He was discharged and left. He was here for a long time. I’m sure he’ll be back.”

  But he didn’t come back. Lauren didn’t know who called her father, but he was there until she was discharged two days later with a long list of instructions. Amy picked them up and insisted she stay with her until she was well enough to be on her own.

  Amy lived on the top floor of a Brooklyn brownstone built in the early twentieth century. It had high ceilings and a decent amount of space. She had remodeled much of it to suit her more modern taste.

  Lauren’s father stayed with a friend, but was constantly underfoot, fetching any and everything she needed. After the first day, Lauren was ready to be on her own, but she kept quiet about the administrations. She knew they were doing it out of love and didn’t protest.

  Lauren did wonder where Jake was and why he didn’t come to see her. She remembered his running into the garage as she was leaving. What did he want? He’d been in the hospital when she woke up. Had he come to make sure she was all right before retreating into himself? Or was he still angry with her for not telling him the whole truth?