We really do need help, Danny told himself, all of us. It’s not Amy’s fault, and any amount of therapy will reveal that we did this to her. And if she has to go, maybe I should go with her. Maybe it’s time I got my head on straight, figured my life out. If they don’t see the problems they’re creating, at least I do.
Amy doesn’t even need that kind of help anyway. They’re just going to bum-rush her into some facility to keep her out of the way. They’ll put her on pills, dope her up, wipe out her personality altogether.
No, I’m not letting that happen.
“Danny.” The voice flexed with stern authority, but it was a tone that was less and less impressive to Danny. Jonathan calmly approached. “We gotta talk.”
“We just did.”
“Danny, you gotta know that we’re only concerned about Amy’s well being, and yours.”
“That’s mighty fine of you both.”
Jonathan stepped even closer, his smile almost convincing. “But you’re a grown man, Danny, you can take care of yourself. Sure, you have your little hobbies, we all get that. But it’s not like we think you’re a danger to yourself, or to anybody else. We don’t. You can handle it, that’s the way we figure it.”
Danny took a long, slow look at his brother. “But Amy can’t.”
Jonathan could only shrug. “Do you think she can? Like you said, she could be suicidal.”
“And you think locking her up in an asylum will help? Those places cause more mental health problems than they cure.”
“We’ll do whatever we have to do, Danny.” Jonathan stared Danny down, and both brothers knew what that stare meant.
“How can you live with yourself, lording our own family fortune over us like this?”
Jonathan shrugged. “We don’t do anything like that. You’ve got all the money you need, all you can spend and more.”
“For as long as we remain under your thumb,” Danny said. “But one wrong move and you’ll cut me off, that’s what it all comes down to. Amy too, you’re running us around in circles.”
“You’re both immature and irresponsible. Amy wouldn’t last a year out there, her behavior proves it. And you’d blow every penny and wind up in the gutter.”
“We’ve got hundreds of millions of dollars, how can either one of us come anywhere near to blowing that much?”
“Happens to almost every lottery winner, Danny. Use your head for once in your life. This is what’s best, for you and for Amy. If you know what’s good for you, for the both of you, you won’t interfere.”
Danny stared his brother down. “All right, Jonathan, okay, but ask yourself this; what would Dad make of all this? What would he do?”
But Jonathan just stared right back, unflinching. “He would do what was best for the family, no matter what it took.”
Chapter 24
Camden
Camden sat with the other actors in a conference room, a long table stretched out in front of them, each with an opened script and a bottle of water. Producer Claire Appleby, director Tyler Tate, and executive producer Randall Ott were seated at the far end of the table.
“I don’t give a damn,” the actor playing Paul Lynde shouted, “I want twice what they’re paying me or they can blow me, Ira!”
Another actor added, “You walk off Squares, what’re you gonna do? You don’t think Carlos the pool boy here is gonna take care of you?”
That was Camden’s cue. But though he’d been reading along with the rest of the cast, he’d lost his place at just the wrong time. An extra nanosecond passed while he nervously scanned the page, keenly aware that he was attracting the negative attention of everybody in the room, and of what was at stake.
“I love Paul,” Camden said, just a fraction of a moment too late, his delivery rushed and unnatural. But he was quick to calibrate and find a believable pace and rhythm and tone. “I’ll take care of him if I have to. Or I could take care of you.”
“Okay, Gargantua,” the actor playing Paul said with the actor’s distinctive vocal inflections, “you’re making me hot!”
The actors all turned the page of the script, ready to read the next scene. “Okay, let’s cut for a minute,” actor Tyler said, producer Claire looking on in tense quiet. “Camden, I like what you’re doing, but … is there a problem?”
“Hhmmmm? No, Tyler, none at all.”
The actor playing Paul leaned over and put his hand on Camden’s. “The script’s right in front of you, dear.”
Camden smiled, though it didn’t last long and probably was even less impressive. Camden nodded, running his fingers through his long, black hair. “I apologize, everyone, I was just … a little distracted. It's a personal thing, nothing I should have brought into work.”
“That’s okay,” Claire said, “don’t let it bother you. We all have things in our lives, don’t worry about it. We’ll just read on to the end, move forward, then break for lunch.”
But Camden could sense the disapproval, the disappointment, the judgment behind the fakery and the delusion of support. These people don’t understand me, they don't know me and they don't want to know me. They don't care and they don’t want to care. We’re all liars here, it’s what brought us together. Truth in fiction? There’s only one thing I know that's true, and it’s not this.
Camden sat on his living room couch, Kate’s big round face so soft and sympathetic. “C’mon, Cam, snap out of it. I don’t even see why you’re so touched by this girl to begin with. This is Los Angeles, Cam, the most beautiful women in the world are here, and they’re everywhere! You could have your pick! You always could, but now that you’re working, you’d be unstoppable!”
“Kate, it’s not that. I’ve always done okay — ”
“And if you’re really into the girl, I mean deep down, then maybe you’re not really about the prettiness at all. And you know there’s a girl who, deep down … and I guess I mean way deep down — ”
“Kate, stop, not any more of that, please.” Kate slouched, sinking into the couch a bit. “There’s just something about her, I’m not sure what it is.”
“Not her money?”
“Oh hell no, of course not. If anything, the money’s kind of a turn-off. And it’s made her family nuts, I think. It sure hasn’t done Amy that much good. And then there’s the damage — ”
“If that girl’s got damage, it’s the parents, not the money. I hate the way rich people blame their money for all their problems.”
“But she doesn’t, Kate. She doesn’t blame anybody, and she lost her father in a terrible incident. But she’s not bitter, she’s … she’s anxious to live, to get out there and embrace life. She’s blameless as far as I can see, and deserving too. Why shouldn’t she be able to enjoy her life, her money, her beauty? It’s terrible, the way they treat her.”
“And you want to rescue her,” Kate said with a knowing look, fat cheek folding around the corner of her mouth. “Kind of ironic, when you think about it.”
Camden couldn’t disagree. “I think maybe I’m thinking too much … and feeling too little.”
Kate couldn’t disagree, as much as Camden knew she wanted to. “All right then, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but … if you really want her, you have to go get her.”
“You think?”
“Well, you can’t go on like this! Why didn’t you just go for it in the first place?” Kate grilled him.
Camden had to struggle to fashion his answer, and his own confusion both astounded and delighted him. “It was so sudden, and then she got embarrassed and ran out.”
Kate raised an eyebrow, “And you didn’t go after her?”
“I didn’t think she wanted me to. I didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable than she already was. I don’t even know for sure if she still wants me. She was pretty mad.” Camden sighed, disheartened.
“She does,” Kate said, rolling her eyes.
“How do you know?”
“I know,” Kate said, “believe me.
But even if she doesn’t, that’s something you have to know, you both have to know for sure what you’re giving up. Otherwise, it’s going to haunt you your whole life, Camden. Believe me, I know, regret is something you don’t want to live with even for a second, never mind the rest of your life.”
Chapter 25
Amy
Amy was on her way to Isla’s condo. With nowhere else to go, she was increasingly desperate and depressed. Can’t keep living like this, she told herself, something somewhere somehow’s got to give! I’m either gonna snap and go nuts on everybody or just, I dunno, implode!
Amy glanced at the traffic, ever thickening in the overpopulated city. Maybe I should just let The Munsters do whatever they’re going to do. Maybe Jonathan could set me up with another friend, though he doesn’t seem to have many. Maybe Mom’s right, I should just get a hobby, spend the rest of my life on the estate painting landscapes or writing poetry.
Amy could feel the bony hand of fate tightening around her neck, squeezing, taunting.
No, I’m not some old recluse and I won’t live like one! So what if they’re controlling the money? Maybe I don’t need money! Maybe I can go out and find a job, get a roommate and an apartment the way Camden did, the way everybody else seems to do. I like not having to work at Burger King, but I could if I had to. Forget Burger King anyway, I’ve got a degree in philosophy, there must be something I can do with that.
Maybe I should go back to school, get my masters, be a teacher. My mother thinks it’s pretty drab, but at least I’d be living my own life, free to make my own choices and live with the ramifications, whatever they are. It’d be better than rotting away in that mausoleum!
Turning right onto Santa Monica Boulevard, it occurred to Amy, I should call Camden, apologize. He must have felt terrible with me storming out on him. And I shouldn’t have put him in that position to begin with. He’s got enough to think about without some nutty girlfriend who wants to run off and marry him at the drop of a hat!
He’s the one I really want, Amy had to confess to herself, what’s the point in playing games about it? But what chance do I have with him now? He’s off on the career of a lifetime and I’ve come off like some kind of groupie weirdo.
Amy pulled over to the curb and double-parked. She killed the engine, gathered her purse, and opened the door to step out into the street. A green Toyota she didn’t recognize sped up and skid to a stop in the middle of the street right next to her, trapping Amy between that car and her own.
Leaving the engine running, Camden jumped out of the passenger seat. She said, “Camden?” but that was all she had time for. Saying nothing, Camden grabbed her upper arm and yanked her toward his Toyota, opening the passenger door and shoving her in. She had time for one more, “Camden?” but by then he’d slammed the door and was already running around to the driver’s side, where he climbed in, closed the door and sped off.
“Cam, what’s going on?”
“I’m kidnapping you.”
“But … I didn’t order this.”
“No, you didn’t. I did.”
Amy looked around the car. She was slowly coming to understand what was really happening, but she needed to hear it, she needed Camden to say it. “Camden, I don’t understand, where are we going?”
“The cabin,” he said with a smile, “it’ll be our ... special place.”
“Camden — ”
“No, Amy, let me speak. First of all, I am so sorry I let you walk out of my apartment — ”
“No, Camden, I’m the one who should be sorry — ”
“Hey,” Camden said with a snap, “don’t make me gag you.” A smirk painted on his face. A sexy silence shared between them both, Amy’s smile enough to keep her lips engaged while Camden went on, “I should never have let you walk out of my apartment. I was just … I was stunned, I didn’t know what to say. I mean, a girl like you, you could have any man you want! The idea that you would want me, well, it just knocked me sideways. It still does, tell you the truth.”
Amy opened her mouth and almost spoke, but his loving discipline kept her quiet. Camden added, “But when you walked out of that room, Amy, I dunno, it was like you took a part of me with you, a part that’s left a hole. And that hole hurts, Amy, it’s killing me. But ya know what? If I have to die, if the hole just gets bigger and bigger ’til it swallows me up, that’s fine. I don't want to live without you, Amy. I’ll jump headfirst into that hole if I have to.”
Her eyes started to water, Amy couldn’t help herself, “The hole,” she repeated, “that’s it, that’s it exactly, that feeling inside, empty, nothingness … ”
“Yes,” Camden agreed, and she recognized his tone, one which knew all too well what Amy’s own sad life had taught her.
“That feeling that you’ll never be complete, never find that thing to fill the hole.”
“Yes.”
“That’s love, Amy, and I’ve lived without it, and without you, for long enough. Hollywood? Acting? Longshadows? It doesn’t mean a thing, none of it. There’s no truth there. But you and me, that’s real, that’s true!”
“Yes!” She cried out. It was the first time in her life she had such a strong magnetic pull to another human being. A feeling of being in complete alignment with another soul.
“And we’re not going to live without each other, not any longer.”
“No.”
Camden glanced at her, his determination outweighing his joy. “We’re going to be married.”
“Yes.” She managed to squeak out.
“You’ll come to live with me as man and wife, no more of your family, no more of their dominance over you. From now on, I’ll be the only one blessed with that role.”
“Oh my god, Cam, yes. This is what I’ve wanted all my life.” She managed to say.
Camden’s words came fast, his foot stepping on the accelerator to get them to their destination with the greatest dispatch. “But you have to know I’m not that kind of person, not all the time. We have to be equals, inside the bedroom and outside, no matter where we are or what we’re doing.”
Amy barely managed to say, “Yes.”
“We make our decisions together, we spend our money together, we raise our children together — ”
“Yes, Camden!”
“We live our lives together, straight down the line, right to the end.”
“Yes, Camden, yes!”
“All right then,” Camden said as he gunned the engine. “Let’s hit the road!”
Chapter 26
Amy
By the time they finally got to the cabin, Amy was red-hot. They’d endured long stretches of tense silence on that trip up, both of them looking forward to what was to come. Both knew it would be explosive, continuous, and unforgettable. Amy was squirming in the seat, unable to control her growing lust but trying like hell not to show it.
What’s the difference? Amy silently challenged herself. Just stick your hand down there and start touching yourself, he’ll probably love it! Maybe lean over and give him a bit of a high-speed handy, maybe even a Speedway Special, suck him off as he’s pushing that Toyota up into the hills.
No, Amy told herself, wait, let him take control. That’s what he loves, what we both love. And this whole thing is his mission, something he obviously felt he had to do, something he wanted to do.
So let him do it, let him do it all and for as long as he wants!
The car slowed as it pushed up the mountain, and when that familiar cabin came into view, Amy enjoyed a thrush of heat, anticipating what she knew was going to happen. She wasn’t sure exactly how it would go down, but she knew it was going to be amazing.
And for that very reason, something inside Amy compelled her to delay it. They pulled up to the cabin and Amy was inspired by mischief, the same giggly schoolgirl who wanted to propose to Camden, a proposal that actually worked. Amy’s body was flooded with hormones and adrenaline and a giddy sense that anything was possible and everything was probabl
e.
So just after he turned off the engine, she pushed the door open and started running. She didn’t know where, but she didn’t know why. She was running so he would chase her. She was running so he could catch her.
Amy’s heart was pumping, her legs churning beneath her, fast and efficient.
Amy looked around, the cabin barely visible among the trees up the hill. I could easily get lost out here if I just run into the woods. They could get lost or hurt trying to find me!
But the thumps of nearby footsteps alerted Amy and her head snapped to see Camden prowling around, moving down the hill toward her. Amy’s legs made her decision for her, and she scurried behind a big pine trunk. She pressed her back against the tree, arms pinned to her sides, as his footsteps crept slowly closer. Amy didn’t dare turn to look, but she knew he was approaching. Whether he was going to go on and bypass her entirely as she hoped, was another question.
Amy’s instincts were ratcheting tighter, nerves sensing things they never knew but couldn’t describe. She crept away from the dogwood tree without looking back, head low and feet soft to scurry through the pines and hemlocks, sideways along the side of the mountainside, the only clear direction away from Camden, where ever he was.
Once she cleared a bit of distance, Amy’s body told her to run faster, increase that distance to a safe enough buffer. Get lost in the woods, she told herself. Camden won’t let me disappear.
Amy was running for the fantasy, for the reality, away from her past and toward her future at long last. It didn’t matter where she was running or why she realized. What mattered was that she was running, master of her own destiny.
But the flash of something brown and coiled caught Amy’s eye. The rattle only confirmed what her body already knew. And it was too late to stop running or she’d be sure to fall forward, straight into the big rattlesnake.
Capture Me Page 13