I hate you! Olivia’s voice rings in my ears.
And my father speaks up. You’re just a shitty excuse for a man.
Angry, I get to my feet and grab the file on my desk. I’m a half a heartbeat from throwing it across the room when a sheet of paper with post it notes stuck to it flutters free and lands face down on my desk.
Startled out of my rage, I drop the file on my desk and pick up the sheet, feeling the will to live drain right out of me with every passing second.
Each post it note is marked with a single name.
Cami.
And a time.
8am. No message.
Cami 9:15am. No message.
Cami 10:10am. No message.
Cami 11am. No message.
Cami 12:35. No message.
Cami 1:42. No message.
Cami 2:08. No message
My heart sinks to my toes.
She knows where I am. She knows I’m here, that I’m getting this log. She knows what she’s doing.
My cell rings and I jolt. Hating myself for being so jumpy, I answer it.
“Mr. Knight?” The voice is vaguely familiar.
“Speaking.”
“Hello, this is Linda with the school. Olivia isn’t here and I was wondering if you kept her home for a sick day.” She sounds worried, but I’ve been having so many problems with the school, I’d rather not have more.
“Let me check with her nanny,” I say, keeping the panic I feel from my voice. “I’ll call you back.” As soon as my finger is on the end button, I’m out the door.
The drive home is a blur.
I pull up in front of the house and see Beau, the bodyguard, outside. He nods at me, a sign that all’s well, but I breeze past and into the house.
“Sandy!” I shout, “Olivia!”
“Kieran, what’s gotten into you?” Sandy asks, her face white as she appears from the kitchen.
“Where’s Olivia?” I ask, and she tries to quiet me down.
“She’s sleeping! She was up half the night crying!” Sandy follows me, fluttering her hands as I rush toward Olivia’s room. I burst in the door and see her peacefully in bed, headphones in her ears. The rise and fall of her chest tells me she’s sleeping and relief floods me.
With quick steps, I make my way to her side. Taking the place beside her, I curl up against her, smiling as her dark hair tickles my nose. The panicked fear of having possibly lost her sends my heart into a drumbeat of war, and I take deep breaths. She’s here. That’s all that matters. I haven’t lost her. She’s here.
Gathering her into my arms, I feel her sleeping body snuggle into me as I hold her. I can’t imagine losing her. It would destroy me.
When I’m finally calm, I leave her room. As I close the door I see her settle, her breathing deepening as sleep takes her under the level of dreams. I turn to Sandy, who’s still watching me, her face white as a sheet.
She thinks she’s about to get fired.
Good. She fucking should be.
I lean in, snarling as I speak. “If you ever pull her out of school without telling me again, you’ll be out on your ass, hear me?”
She nods so quickly she looks like a cartoon character. She hurries off and I pull the phone from my pocket. I call the school. “Yeah, the nanny kept her home. She wasn’t feeling well,” I tell them. I’m met with understanding and an apology for causing me concern.
I hang up and stand in the hallway, feeling so utterly alone and broken.
The ride to Emma’s ranch is quiet. Olivia ignores me, despite my attempts to get her to open up and talk to me. But she hasn’t forgiven me for last night’s fight. Which is fine. I get it. She’s pissed, still.
But when we pull up in front of the farm house, it’s a relief.
Olivia gets out and slams the truck door before I even shut off the engine.
I follow her out, and glance up at an open window on the second story of the house. Sheer curtains billow out of the window, and I catch sight of Emma closing the bedroom door. There’s a little curve to her lips and a pink tinge to her cheeks that’s enough to get me rock hard in an instant.
She opens the front door and asks me where Olivia is. “She headed to the barn,” I tell her, needing to let her know Olivia’s having a rough day. “Listen, she’s upset. Take it easy on her,” I say, and Emma halts, her gaze on mine.
“Why?” she asks, her stare serious.
“Because she’s upset.” I’m speaking fucking English, right?
A smile flashes across her face as she studies me. “All the more reason to go harder on her. Mr. Knight, life isn’t easy on us when we’re having a bad day. Hell,” she says, and I lift my eyebrows that she’s cursing in front of me, “Life likes to fuck us harder when we’re upset.” She turns and heads toward the barn, a sexy sway to her hips.
“Don’t talk like that around her,” I say, and Emma glances over her shoulder at me with a sultry stare that sends every thought attempting to process below the belt.
Fuck, she’s clearly had a change of heart.
That, or she’s thinking with something south of her heart. I’ll take it. I’ve been wanting to take her anyway. A rough tumble with a sexy woman, especially one who’s been so hell bent on fucking up every plan I put in place, would do wonders for my moral.
I’ve earned some god damned stress relief.
Chapter 18
Emma
Walking away from Kieran is an amazing feeling. Knowing he’s staring at my ass only intensifies my pleasure. Fuck, after last night’s incredible orgasm, all I can think about is how amazing the real thing would be.
And I can see it in his eyes; he’s thinking about it too.
But I’ve got a job to deal with. No naughtiness in front of Olivia.
I find her at the barn, watching Jenny and her colt. She ignores me for a moment, then speaks up. “I was going to start mucking out Dreamer’s stall but I wanted to make sure that’s what we’re doing today.”
“Yep!” I tell her, keeping my voice cheerful. She nods and get to it. I watch her, but I’m confident she knows what she’s doing.
And I realize it’s a good idea for her to know that too. “Hey,” I ask, and she stops and looks up at me. Those blue eyes of hers are as serious as her father’s and it breaks my heart. “Mind if I go put Jenny out to pasture while you work? I mean, you’ve got this.”
And I see it; the small start of a smile curving the corners of her lips. She dips her head in an obvious agreement and I snap a lead on Jenny. With light feet and a warm heart, I walk her out to the pasture, her little colt following. When she’s out to pasture, I walk back toward the house, wondering where I’d lost Kieran at. He hadn’t come out to the barn, and I know he’d followed me part way.
Around the side of the house, I feel a hand grab my arm and I’m pulled hard against his chest. His hands lock on my arms and he turns me and presses my back to the side of the house. His lips meet mine, demanding and savage, like a starving man.
My lips part, allowing him deeper. I want to taste him. I want to know how he does everything. A moan escapes me, and I feel him plundering my mouth like he wants to learn my every secret. Then his lips leave mine and I whimper, a sad, pathetic sound.
“I’m going to have you,” he growls, the promise sweet to my ears.
“Are you?” I ask, unable to help myself. The need to push him, to question him drives me even now.
His teeth find a soft spot on my neck and sting as they scrape. The promise of sex and danger are almost too much for me. “Yes,” He says, breathing on the spot. The cool air eases the sting and makes my knees tremble.
“I have to go,” I tell him, and he releases me. I step away, but he grabs me and pushes my front to the side of the house and pins me there.
“I don’t take orders from you,” he says, his body leaning into to mine. His hips, pressed to mine, leave me speechless as I realize the hardness I feel in the cleft of my ass is exactly what I think it i
s. Pressed helplessly against my house and more aroused than I’ve ever been in my life, I can only moan in response.
How does he have such an effect on me? It doesn’t seem possible. No guy has ever done this to me.
“And I don’t take orders from you,” I say, my heart dancing. Sure, I want him. I want this. But I don’t want him to think I’ll just bow before him whenever he’d like me too.
Suddenly, he releases me and I turn to face him. But he walks away, as if nothing happened. There’s a set to his shoulders that’s tension and doom, and I’m lost in excitement.
When I finally find myself back in the barn, more composed and in control, I find Olivia working on saddling up Dreamer. I watch her try to get the heavy bit of leather over the horse’s back a few times, then step in to offer her advice. I’m not going to do it for her, but I’ll show he ran easier way. Being small and a girl on the farm taught me that where the men use brute strength, we have to use our brains and leverage.
And I can tell it means the world to her that I’m showing her rather than doing it for her. Knight is wrong. He shouldn’t be going easy on her. He should be giving her the tools to take on the world right now. She needs it. She needs to build confidence in herself. In her ability to do things on her own. She needs some control.
But it’s not my place to tell him that.
So I begin to puzzle over it in the back of my mind. I’ll figure out a way to get him to do what I want. Somehow, someway.
“Mind if I ride with you today?” I ask her. Her face lights up and I begin to saddle up the mare I take out while Jenny is unable to be ridden.
“Who’s this?” Olivia asks, and I become aware of Kieran entering the barn. Or, my body becomes aware of him. It’s the same sensation I feel before a lightning storm. That crackling of the very air as everything charges up.
“Quicksilver,” I tell her, glancing over my shoulder at him. He’s watching me closely as I put the bridle on the mare. Once she’s ready to go, we both walk our mares out of the barn. Once we’re clear of the main door, I mount up.
Olivia seems surprised, but quickly follows suit. We ride toward a pasture that’s open gate and empty. It’s a much larger space than Olivia has ridden in before, and I’m curious to see how she handles the extra legroom.
Once inside, I nudge Quicksilver into a trot. Easily rising, I notice Olivia keeping pace beside me. Her form is flawless, and I give it a moment before pushing up another notch. Quicksilver has a beautiful, even, canter, but she looks graceless and flawed beside Dreamer, who’s got the long stride of a racehorse.
And Olivia, along for the ride, is thrilled. Her face is bright and happy, and there’s a new sense of joy and freedom in her.
As I catch sight of Kieran on the fence, watching us, I smile.
This feels right.
This feels like home.
Like family.
And it’s a startling realization. One I don’t want to think about. One I can’t face. Not right now while Olivia’s so obviously in a bad place and Kieran is watching me like he can’t wait to devour me.
Chapter 19
Kieran
Damn if Emma doesn’t look amazing when her body is moving with the horse. The way she lifts her weight looks like she should be straddling my hips, not the horse’s midsection. Past her, I catch sight of Olivia, and instantly the excitement dies. Olivia, a huge grin on her face, is obviously enjoying the freedom of this new riding space.
While the extra land makes me nervous, I see what Emma is doing. She’s showing Olivia she trusts her. That she’s got this. That all her lessons and hard work has paid off.
It’s a shame when the time draws to a close and the woman and girl ride toward the gate side by side. I follow, feeling like a third wheel as they talk barn speak about the horses. But something about it, perhaps Emma’s easy treatment of Olivia, maybe the way Olivia is looking up at Emma like she worships her, something feels so very normal.
But it’s not, I remind myself. I’m here to get Emma’s ranch. I’m here to figure out a way to get her to sell. And I’ve been failing spectacularly. So I’m going to break out the big guns. If I get Emma to fall for me, I could marry her.
If I marry her, I could take control of her ranch.
If I have control, I could move her out and away. I could destroy the old house. I could segment everything into parcels. I could build my subdivision of condos. And Emma could live a lavish life. It’s not a bad thing. Hell, I could enjoy being tied to her, even. And if we wind up unhappy, well, divorce isn’t unheard of.
The only thing stopping me from moving forward is fear.
Fear of hurting Olivia.
If she gets attached, then everything ends in divorce, I’m not the one who’d be hurt. Hell, Even if it hurt Emma, she’s a big girl. She’d move on. But Olivia is my daughter. I need to find a way to handle things delicately. I need to find a way to protect her.
The drive home is silent yet again, despite my attempts to engage.
“You did great today,” I tell her, needing her to know I noticed her progress.
She says nothing, then surprises me. “Do you love Emma?”
Startled, I glance at her. “No, honey.” Her face falls, and I wonder what I’ve missed. “I mean, I like her. She’s nice, but love is…” I struggle to explain. How do I tell her I’ve never loved anyone? Not even her mother. Sure, I love her. I love my brothers. I love my mother, but that kind of love, the kind I feel for my family - my blood - that’s not the same thing she’s asking about. She’s asking about the kind of love between couples.
I’ve never had that. I’ve tolerated women. I’ve put up with their annoying habits. I’ve dealt with the bad to enjoy the tiny bit of good. I’ve lived through head games and mental torture. But love? Hell no. Not ever.
“Love is different,” I finish lamely, feeling like an idiot.
But Olivia seems to understand. “She’s not like mom,” she says softly, her face lit by the dying rays of the sun. I watch her a second as I drive the open, empty highway. She’s growing up. She’s too old for her nine year old self.
“I know,” I say, needing to acknowledge her.
“You can love her,” she says, as if her permission is the only thing stopping those feelings. And suddenly, I realize she is just my daughter. A child. A little girl who doesn’t understand love any more than I do.
I don’t know how to respond, so I don’t. I reach out and touch her knee, feeling an ache in my chest where my heart should be.
When we get home, Olivia disappears into her room and I take out my phone. “We need to meet up,” I say.
“Fine. When?” She sounds amused.
“Tonight. Let’s talk business.” We won’t be talking business.
Her tone doesn’t change, but I sense a shift in attitude. “Where?”
“Your place?” I ask. She’ll feel safer at home, I’m sure.
“I’ll be here.” She hangs up without saying goodbye, and I stare at the blinking call ended on the screen a moment before hurrying to find Sandy.
“I have to go. Meeting,” I say. She looks at me, unsurprised. It’s not the first time, nor the last, that I’ve had meetings outside normal business hours.
“Drive safe,” she says, and I nod. When I’m in the truck, I back out. Up in her room, Olivia looks down at me and I smile and wave. But she turns away, her expression unreadable. With a pang of guilt, I back out of the drive and head off into the impending darkness.
She’ll be safe. She’s got Sandy and Beau.
At the ranch, Emma opens the door as I pull up and park. My heart is pounding curiously as I walk up the porch, taking in Emma’s stunning beauty. Her golden red-brown hair is free, flowing down to kiss the small of her back. It’s got a bit of natural wave to it, and I want to feel it around my fingers more than anything.
Pushing the odd thought aside, I step before her, noting how her cat-like eyes are on my face. She’s serious. Her face is fresh
-scrubbed, free of make-up, and yet somehow still breathtaking. Perhaps this nude look is more intimate than anything else. How many women have I seen totally scrubbed before I’ve taken them to bed?
None.
One.
Her.
“Kieran?” she asks softly and I realize I’m still standing here, staring at her.
But something in me takes over. Something primitive and hungry.
I step in and grab a handful of her hair. Winding it around my fist, I pull her close with my free hand. As my hand pulls on her hair, her head tilts back, her wide eyes meeting mine with a look that’s both sweet and scared.
Good.
She should be scared.
Her lips part and I kiss her. The little moan that escapes her fills my mouth and I trace her lower lip with my tongue. She’s sweet, ripe, like summer peaches and sunshine. My cock pulses, pushing against her with a desperation that’s new. I’m never desperate for a woman.
Then, her tongue meets mine, reserved, frightened, perhaps. But she’s meeting me halfway. Our tongues dance and I feel her body sag a bit as her silken hair tightens around my knuckles.
“Kieran,” she murmurs into my mouth on a sigh. My cock pulses again, painfully this time, and it’s all I can do not to push her down and fuck her right here on her porch. Our lips apart, slowly, clinging together as if held by desperation and need.
Her eyes are closed, her throat long as she gives a swallow and it shifts. She’s vulnerable, perfect, pale, a vision of sexy perfection as she stands here, barely on her feet in my arms.
My lips taste the skin of her neck. She’s still so sweet, like earlier when I’d pinned her to the wall of her house. Trapped between my head knowing I’m playing a stupid game and my cock, which needed to feel her warm, wet depths and the release of it.
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